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#179: If I Hadn’t Met You 〜夏雪冬花〜 (1/2)
Prompt claimed: #179
Title: If I Hadn’t Met You 〜夏雪冬花〜
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mentions of suicide; (minor) character death
Word count: 36 455 [and an extra 428]
Summary: Junmyeon didn’t do love. Jongdae wouldn’t want to love again.
Author's note:
∙ Most of the characters follow the real-life age gap except Minho who is an eighteen year-old kid in this story.
( Mom, do you think I'll have the same thread color as yours? )
‘Hyung! How have you been? You rarely call so mom and dad are worried. Are you eating well? I miss you a lot! A loooooot. I was hoping you’d answer because I’m using the home phone. If you have time, call me back and talk to me? Please? Love, your cute younger brother Minho.’
Junmyeon gripped his phone as he closed his voice mail window. It had been a few days since he got Minho's message but every time he remembered to call back in-between his shifts, it was either too early in the morning, when everyone was asleep or midday when everyone was out of the house. He had been far away from home for so long, he moved out as soon as his internship started, so he had no idea of his younger brother’s personal cellphone number, adding a reminder to himself that he needed to add it to his contact list the next time he’d get to visit their home.
The plan, though, was cut short later in the day when Dr. Jonghyun sent him a message that a family member had been admitted and Junmyeon should proceed to the room indicated as soon as he was finished with his assignment, preferably during his break.
It was mid-autumn, and though Junmyeon was well-protected from the cold by the building’s exceptional heating system, he couldn’t ignore the chill that ran through his body when he received the message. He was panting when he rushed to the ward, having taken a few flights of stairs towards the right floor because the elevator was just too slow.
"I've been trying to call you but you aren't answering any of it," came his father’s stern greeting as soon as he entered the private room.
"Come on, darling. You know our Junmyeon is very busy," his mother tried to console her husband, sending Junmyeon an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, personal phones are left in the locker. We carry a different one while on shift," he explained, stealing a glance towards the bed where his younger brother was sleeping. "I only knew because Dr. Jonghyun informed me."
"See? Let me send you off now so you can rest," his mother suggested, guiding the old man out by his shoulders. "Junmyeon, mind looking after Minho for around 10 minutes? We’ll just get a cab so your father can go home," said the woman as she successfully ushered her husband out. Junmyeon nodded as he brought the stool from the corner of the room next to the bed.
"Finally," Minho said as he stretched his arms, surprising Junmyeon who was about to sit on the stool. "I'd end up getting caught pretending to be asleep if they stayed any longer," continued his younger brother, patting the thick blanket free from unnecessary folds. "I missed you, hyung. Please hug me?"
Junmyeon had to work up the courage to say no to his younger brother. Not when Minho, who was just two short years away from being legal, was feeling bad and in need of a hug. The younger would remain a baby in Junmyeon’s eyes.
"You've gotten thinner. Are you eating well?" Minho asked while not letting go of Junmyeon’s waist. "Bet your cafeteria food isn't that good."
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Never been better," answered the younger, finally letting go.
"What happened?"
"What did they write there?" Minho asked as he pointed to the foot of his bed where his chart was. Junmyeon side-stepped a bit to reach for it, his other arm being held tightly by the younger.
"Food poisoning," Junmyeon explained from the chart.
"Guess so," the other shrugged. "I was held hostage by the toilet bowl for a long time. But everything's fine now. Extra fine because I get to see you."
The want to preach about flattery was so strong but Junmyeon held back as his brother pulled him closer.
"Hyung? Did you finally meet your soulmate?"
"Huh? No?"
"Your thread! Why are you even trying to keep it from me," pouted the younger.
"Because I really haven't," Junmyeon said in defense.
"Maybe. Maybe you’ve just gotten paler that's why the thread looks darker," Minho mused as he continued to stare and scrutinize Junmyeon’s pinky. "But hyung, you're not keeping things from me, okay?"
"I'm not."
"Hyung? Come home on my birthday? It's a bit sad that we're in the same city but we rarely see each other nowadays. Please?"
It would be on December, almost two months away and he could surely find the time even if he’d have to take two straight shifts just to be able to make it.
Junmyeon nodded, a silent promise to his younger brother’s simple wish.
Title: If I Hadn’t Met You 〜夏雪冬花〜
Pairing: Chen/Suho
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mentions of suicide; (minor) character death
Word count: 36 455 [and an extra 428]
Summary: Junmyeon didn’t do love. Jongdae wouldn’t want to love again.
Author's note:
∙ Most of the characters follow the real-life age gap except Minho who is an eighteen year-old kid in this story.
( Mom, do you think I'll have the same thread color as yours? )
#
“Mom, do you think I'll have the same thread color as yours?”
“Mom, do you think I'll have the same thread color as yours?”
“My precious Myeonie, of course you will. In fact, you'll have a deeper crimson than what I have right now. And if you continue being kind and good, who knows? Maybe life will bless you so much it'll turn to gold.”
Those words made Junmyeon’s eight-year-old self hope.
Humans, since the beginning, were gifted by the gods to not be alone. Each living person was sporting a thin band, they call it a thread, on their left little finger. Junmyeon's thread was barely visible. It was baby pink, unlike his parents’ which were the color of his school bag―red and orange-y―the color of persimmons and pomegranates combined.
Since his grandmother had told him about the story of the thread, he wouldn't stop asking why his was just so light. Lighter than the pink cotton candy sold in amusement parks. His parents told him that it changes color depending on one's relationship with their partner and when he heard that, he started wishing he'd meet his soulmate soon, just so his thread would turn into a deeper shade of red. And he really believed his would turn gold.
Gold is special. He had yet to meet an adult with that band color. And maybe, just maybe, he’d become the only adult in their family to wear something that special on his skin. He was sure his cousins would stop teasing him during family dinners for having a very light thread.
Life though, as it had always been, is a harsh teacher.
It was one cool afternoon in autumn and he was reading his favorite book about a naughty rabbit named Peter for the nth time. Junmyeon remembered how his mother called out to him in a sigh. Her weak smile. How his own smile faltered as the machine beside the bed gave out a piercing cry. Junmyeon saw how his mother’s thread slowly
disappeared, like the red drowned in the paleness of his mother's skin. He remembered his pleas. His sobs. His sorrow for his parents' lost threads. His realization that it'd only just be his dad and him from then on.
But the red band on his dad's finger remained. Even after his mom was covered in white blanket. Even after his mom was wheeled out of the room. Even after his mom's coffin was covered with warm soil. And that only meant one thing: his parents were never soulmates.
Never had he once felt being a mistake until his dad remarried. His step-mother was a good woman, Junmyeon had no qualms about her. She treated Junmyeon like her own son (not that she had any). It was only by the fact that his father's thread turned to a color as dark as the wine served to the grown-ups during the formal dinner announcing the marriage that Junmyeon started hating himself. It was darker than the thread that adorned his mom's little finger.
He wanted to be happy for his father who had finally found his other half, but he could only force himself to smile and pretend he was genuinely happy. Their thread eventually became darker, deeper, a shade of indelible red that greatly intimidated him.
The worse of his self-loathing came when Minho was born. His younger half-brother was such a blessing. Precious. Wanted. Unlike him. He was never meant to exist in the first place. There was no hate for his younger brother. Junmyeon would never dare hate an innocent person. But seeing Minho hurt. Seeing his father being happy with his new family dipped his heart lower, colder, into a bucket of ice water a hundred times over.
A pit stop. Sometimes necessary but altogether forgettable. That was what he thought of his parents' relationship. His mother was just one of those possible stops his father should get down to to get to his one true love. All those happy family scenes they shared together while his mom was still alive were nothing but an irrelevant part of his father's past. It was nothing, now that his father finally achieved his dream life with his actual family. It didn't matter if Junmyeon were included in the picture or not. He didn't need to be reminded to step out from it.
If there was only one truth, it was the fact that since then, Junmyeon promised himself that he'd never allow himself to be a pit stop. And he'd never allow anybody to be a pit stop. To hell if he'd never get to meet his soulmate in this lifetime. He could just die anytime and find them in the next. As long as he'd never rope in anybody into a future full of hurt, he’d be content to be alone.
It had been nineteen years since then. Nineteen years since he had last hoped. The baby pink line circling his little finger was still there. Unperturbed. Unchanged. And a constant reminder that he was a mistake.
No matter how unneeded his existence was in this lifetime though, he'd rather make the most out of his bland life until his time would be up. No regrets. And the best was yet to come since he was finally freed from the shackles of med school. Just a few more steps on becoming a full-fledged doctor.
Dr. Kim Junmyeon. He liked the sound of it.
It made him a bit hopeful.
“Mom, do you think I'll have the same thread color as yours?”
“My precious Myeonie, of course you will. In fact, you'll have a deeper crimson than what I have right now. And if you continue being kind and good, who knows? Maybe life will bless you so much it'll turn to gold.”
Those words made Junmyeon’s eight-year-old self hope.
Humans, since the beginning, were gifted by the gods to not be alone. Each living person was sporting a thin band, they call it a thread, on their left little finger. Junmyeon's thread was barely visible. It was baby pink, unlike his parents’ which were the color of his school bag―red and orange-y―the color of persimmons and pomegranates combined.
Since his grandmother had told him about the story of the thread, he wouldn't stop asking why his was just so light. Lighter than the pink cotton candy sold in amusement parks. His parents told him that it changes color depending on one's relationship with their partner and when he heard that, he started wishing he'd meet his soulmate soon, just so his thread would turn into a deeper shade of red. And he really believed his would turn gold.
Gold is special. He had yet to meet an adult with that band color. And maybe, just maybe, he’d become the only adult in their family to wear something that special on his skin. He was sure his cousins would stop teasing him during family dinners for having a very light thread.
Life though, as it had always been, is a harsh teacher.
It was one cool afternoon in autumn and he was reading his favorite book about a naughty rabbit named Peter for the nth time. Junmyeon remembered how his mother called out to him in a sigh. Her weak smile. How his own smile faltered as the machine beside the bed gave out a piercing cry. Junmyeon saw how his mother’s thread slowly
disappeared, like the red drowned in the paleness of his mother's skin. He remembered his pleas. His sobs. His sorrow for his parents' lost threads. His realization that it'd only just be his dad and him from then on.
But the red band on his dad's finger remained. Even after his mom was covered in white blanket. Even after his mom was wheeled out of the room. Even after his mom's coffin was covered with warm soil. And that only meant one thing: his parents were never soulmates.
Never had he once felt being a mistake until his dad remarried. His step-mother was a good woman, Junmyeon had no qualms about her. She treated Junmyeon like her own son (not that she had any). It was only by the fact that his father's thread turned to a color as dark as the wine served to the grown-ups during the formal dinner announcing the marriage that Junmyeon started hating himself. It was darker than the thread that adorned his mom's little finger.
He wanted to be happy for his father who had finally found his other half, but he could only force himself to smile and pretend he was genuinely happy. Their thread eventually became darker, deeper, a shade of indelible red that greatly intimidated him.
The worse of his self-loathing came when Minho was born. His younger half-brother was such a blessing. Precious. Wanted. Unlike him. He was never meant to exist in the first place. There was no hate for his younger brother. Junmyeon would never dare hate an innocent person. But seeing Minho hurt. Seeing his father being happy with his new family dipped his heart lower, colder, into a bucket of ice water a hundred times over.
A pit stop. Sometimes necessary but altogether forgettable. That was what he thought of his parents' relationship. His mother was just one of those possible stops his father should get down to to get to his one true love. All those happy family scenes they shared together while his mom was still alive were nothing but an irrelevant part of his father's past. It was nothing, now that his father finally achieved his dream life with his actual family. It didn't matter if Junmyeon were included in the picture or not. He didn't need to be reminded to step out from it.
If there was only one truth, it was the fact that since then, Junmyeon promised himself that he'd never allow himself to be a pit stop. And he'd never allow anybody to be a pit stop. To hell if he'd never get to meet his soulmate in this lifetime. He could just die anytime and find them in the next. As long as he'd never rope in anybody into a future full of hurt, he’d be content to be alone.
It had been nineteen years since then. Nineteen years since he had last hoped. The baby pink line circling his little finger was still there. Unperturbed. Unchanged. And a constant reminder that he was a mistake.
No matter how unneeded his existence was in this lifetime though, he'd rather make the most out of his bland life until his time would be up. No regrets. And the best was yet to come since he was finally freed from the shackles of med school. Just a few more steps on becoming a full-fledged doctor.
Dr. Kim Junmyeon. He liked the sound of it.
It made him a bit hopeful.
#
The smell of antiseptic and gloom mixed well with the murmurs of the people and the rolling of the wheels from the gurneys passing by. Junmyeon almost crumpled the manual he was holding while he followed a throng of people parading around the hospital. At first glance he looked like he'd pass out from fear (his pallor spooked the nurse who approached him earlier, thinking he was a guardian of a patient). He was far from being afraid though, and he was more like swimming in the feels from the opposite spectrum of emotions. Wading, keeping his head up and praying he wouldn’t get any cramps and embarrass himself while in the middle of it.
He had been waiting for this day. Since he started his third year in med school he had been looking forward to none other than today. The beginning of good things.
Junmyeon had to swallow his breath as Doctor Kim Jongdae and his team passed by. He had always heard great things about the person from his professors back in med school. One of the doctor's researches got published in a medical journal even when he was still a student. To top it all off, Kim Jongdae is actually younger than him. One year younger but two years his senior in the surgical field. He could never be Kim Jongdae but it was a nice thought to actually strive for the best like him.
He thanked the heavens as he took in all of Dr. Kim's presence. He had only seen the doctor in a picture, his admiration for the guy sprang from the medical journals he had read and stories he had heard. And to be honest, the two-dimensional, black-and-white image he saw and remembered gave no justice to the real one.
Kim Jongdae, in the flesh, was breathtaking. His hair pushed-back and neatly-combed, baring his wonderful face with those killer forehead-cheekbones combo for the world to witness. He was good-looking enough in his neutral expression, but when he smiled the heavens opened up and people were healed (even Junmyeon’s chest suddenly felt so light). The blue scrubs underneath the white coat complemented his pale skin well, a floating ball of sunshine wrapped in azure clothing if Junmyeon were to be honest. And goodness, his voice was so calm and refreshing Junmyeon could listen to the doctor recite all the medical procedures known on loop until the world would end. Shining. And too beautiful. And had Junmyeon said breathtaking? Kim Jongdae was really like that. It was scary.
It seemed like the infamous doctor floated as he passed by Junmyeon. And his eyes! Oh my god, those eyes. They smiled so sweetly, and the way his eyelashes made his blink a nanosecond slower, Junmyeon could swear he was already having arrhythmia. How he wished Dr. Kim would smile at him like that. Someday. Maybe if he worked harder, he’d get to be blessed with such a majestic expression.
Junmyeon's admiration soared higher and his imagination was already high up past the atmosphere. He could only mumble under his breath something akin to ‘please notice me sunbae’ before he snapped out of his aggressive gawking because somebody was patting his shoulder.
His interviewer's face from days back was staring back to him.
“You'll be left behind in our hospital tour if you keep on staring,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun eyed him knowingly.
“I'm sorry,” he murmured, face heating up from embarrassment. Was he that obvious? Junmyeon hurried in his steps to catch up.
“The thing is, I will be your team lead for your first year here. Well, we're like the assistant incharge 'cause the real ones are the senior residents but you'll be seeing us most of the time if not all.
“Your first year will be spent going around serving different departments―please see your manual for the specifics―and the basic thing to remember is that every three months, you'll be going back to general surgery so by the end of the year, you must have completed six months-worth of G.S. credits,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun said as they turned to a corner, passing through the genitourinary ward.
Junmyeon hastily opened his manual and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw his assignment. First quarter: E.R. duties, third quarter: cardio-thoracic. Still ways off but it would be a step closer to be noticed by his great sunbae.
“Dr. Jonghyun! Your babies have come out of their shells, I see,” a guy in front of the nurses' station greeted. He was wearing a white coat and the scrubs underneath were as dark as Dr. Kim's so Junmyeon assumed he must be an assistant resident as well. His droopy eyes and calming smile had this instant calming effect that Junmyeon couldn't help but be wary of.
“They're all healthy as you can see. How about your foals, Dr. Zhang?”
“My introductory tour has long been over. They're in the nursery now. Dr. Kim from Pediatrics is babysitting them,” the doctor replied with a contented, dimpled smile.
“I hope you don't lose them again like last year,” Dr. Jonghyun smiled, his remark earning him a friendly slap to his arm, as he turned to their group. “Everyone, this is Dr. Zhang Yixing. He's a resident here and his specialty is neurosurgery.”
There were a few murmurs from the female population of their small group and Junmyeon knew it had something to do with horoscopes and compatibility with Dr. Zhang. The doctor could be a cover model for Seventeen magazine with that kind of face. Junmyeon's a Gemini, by the way, if anybody's interested. His MBTI type is ENFJ and his blood type is AB. He wondered whether Dr. Kim Jongdae's profile would be available for discussion anytime soon for he wanted to take note of such details.
“Sorry to make this brief Dr. Zhang, but we are far from finishing so we need to go ahead,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun said as he gave the other doctor's arm a gentle pat. Dr. Zhang acknowledged the gesture by tilting his head a bit forward for a friendly bow and a pursed smile. And their tour continued.
“Anyway, don't mind Dr. Zhang's comment about the hatching. You're all my baby dinos. It’s a running joke but please don't be offended. The senior residents started using the term last year when the competition between Doctor Kim Jongdae and me started getting fierce. It only applies to the two teams, though. Dr. Zhang's first year residents have a different title but they compete with us when it comes to the targets as well.”
Tyrannosaurus [T-Rex]―that was their pet name as Junmyeon eventually learned thanks to his teammates’ constant pestering. Dr. Kim Jongdae’s team, meanwhile, was the Pterodactyls [Pteros]. As to the story behind why the specific species, he had no idea. If Junmyeon were to be patient, maybe he’d find out later on.
Dr. Zhang’s team, on the other hand, were called Little Ponies. The cutesy nickname made it more appealing to the rest of the staff who cooed at the new members because they were all giants―both in size and in aura. Junmyeon initially thought the group earlier with Dr. Zhang, when he saw them at the lobby, was all made up of senior doctors. Apparently not.
“Well, we'll slowly throw you out to the pond but you can take it easy for the first three days as you familiarize yourselves with the very basic in-and-outs of the hospital. And you can always ask me relevant questions.”
There wasn't much to ask from their team lead to be honest. The senior would never miss introducing them to any staff they encounter in the hallway. Even the location of the nearest garbage cans and vending machines plus the most comfortable heated benches, the doctor didn't fail to tell them. The day would end with Junmyeon having used a quarter of his new notebook, scribbling names and random hospital information in it.
“Also, between us, you can just call me Doctor Jonghyun. I don't mind,” said the team lead while chewing on his sandwich.
They were in the hospital cafeteria now, enjoying a short break before they continue to tour the remaining half of the building.
“But, don't ever call Doctor Kim Jongdae just Doctor Jongdae. He'll never like that. You can call Dr. Zhang as Doctor Zhang 'cause there are only two Zhangs in the building and the other's already a senior but in medicine as a cardiologist; not in surgery.
“The Kims, meanwhile, are very prolific here. Just from the residents we already have a lot. Then more have been added from your batch, including our very own Kim Junmyeon.” A friendly slap on the back by the assistant resident and it sent Junmyeon smiling awkwardly at the stares directed his way. “I swear if you go specialize in genitourinary or pathology we can go team up and make a Kim surgery team or something. But no pressure.”
There was nothing else to do but acknowledge the remark and nod. If Junmyeon were to be honest, he had already decided to pursue cardiothoracic. The thought of Dr. Kim Jongdae smiling at his choice made his insides flutter.
“I think most of the Kims in the country are attracted to the 'seonsaengnim' title but I've yet to make a research on that claim,” added Doctor Jonghyun absent-mindedly, more of a brain-vomit than of anything else.
The rest of the people in the table, five heads in total, nodded in agreement except for Junmyeon who was busy thinking about Dr. Kim Jongdae’s voice. And how nice and low it would be if the doctor were to personally give him instructions during a surgery. Maybe in two or three years, if he’d do his best and succeed. A year if he’d do his bestest.
“Anyway, before most of you encounter something while on the floor regarding the other team, I'll let you know now. You'll be working with the other first year resident trainees from time to time, so encountering their incharge will also be inevitable. If, by any chance, Doctor Kim Jongdae is cold to you, please don't take it against him? He gets along well with the rest of the newbies just not with our team.”
Not with our team.
Not with Junmyeon’s team.
Not with Junmyeon.
Not Junmyeon.
Not.
No.
“Why?” One of his teammates, a guy with big curious eyes and a baby face named Lee Hyunwoo if Junmyeon remembered correctly, asked.
Good thing somebody got ahead of him, for Junmyeon almost gasped out loud due to shock.
“It's his way of competing. He had always been like that since we were kids. Sibling rivalry, as you call it. But don't worry, he'll warm up to you guys once you're done with your first year here and become free from my care.
“For now, just do your best,” Dr. Jonghyun assured them, bringing his greasy hand to slap Junmyeon’s back again. Whether it was a blessing or a curse to have sat next to the assistant resident, Junmyeon didn’t know.
More than anything, it was disappointing to have learned that the monumental gap to cross between him and Dr. Kim Jongdae had only gotten bigger. He just wanted to at least be friends (and maybe crush on the guy closer) but it now seemed out of reach.
Junmyeon took a glance towards the huge glass windows. Maybe it was just him but the once clear sky had suddenly turned downcast.
He had been waiting for this day. Since he started his third year in med school he had been looking forward to none other than today. The beginning of good things.
Junmyeon had to swallow his breath as Doctor Kim Jongdae and his team passed by. He had always heard great things about the person from his professors back in med school. One of the doctor's researches got published in a medical journal even when he was still a student. To top it all off, Kim Jongdae is actually younger than him. One year younger but two years his senior in the surgical field. He could never be Kim Jongdae but it was a nice thought to actually strive for the best like him.
He thanked the heavens as he took in all of Dr. Kim's presence. He had only seen the doctor in a picture, his admiration for the guy sprang from the medical journals he had read and stories he had heard. And to be honest, the two-dimensional, black-and-white image he saw and remembered gave no justice to the real one.
Kim Jongdae, in the flesh, was breathtaking. His hair pushed-back and neatly-combed, baring his wonderful face with those killer forehead-cheekbones combo for the world to witness. He was good-looking enough in his neutral expression, but when he smiled the heavens opened up and people were healed (even Junmyeon’s chest suddenly felt so light). The blue scrubs underneath the white coat complemented his pale skin well, a floating ball of sunshine wrapped in azure clothing if Junmyeon were to be honest. And goodness, his voice was so calm and refreshing Junmyeon could listen to the doctor recite all the medical procedures known on loop until the world would end. Shining. And too beautiful. And had Junmyeon said breathtaking? Kim Jongdae was really like that. It was scary.
It seemed like the infamous doctor floated as he passed by Junmyeon. And his eyes! Oh my god, those eyes. They smiled so sweetly, and the way his eyelashes made his blink a nanosecond slower, Junmyeon could swear he was already having arrhythmia. How he wished Dr. Kim would smile at him like that. Someday. Maybe if he worked harder, he’d get to be blessed with such a majestic expression.
Junmyeon's admiration soared higher and his imagination was already high up past the atmosphere. He could only mumble under his breath something akin to ‘please notice me sunbae’ before he snapped out of his aggressive gawking because somebody was patting his shoulder.
His interviewer's face from days back was staring back to him.
“You'll be left behind in our hospital tour if you keep on staring,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun eyed him knowingly.
“I'm sorry,” he murmured, face heating up from embarrassment. Was he that obvious? Junmyeon hurried in his steps to catch up.
“The thing is, I will be your team lead for your first year here. Well, we're like the assistant incharge 'cause the real ones are the senior residents but you'll be seeing us most of the time if not all.
“Your first year will be spent going around serving different departments―please see your manual for the specifics―and the basic thing to remember is that every three months, you'll be going back to general surgery so by the end of the year, you must have completed six months-worth of G.S. credits,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun said as they turned to a corner, passing through the genitourinary ward.
Junmyeon hastily opened his manual and heaved a sigh of relief when he saw his assignment. First quarter: E.R. duties, third quarter: cardio-thoracic. Still ways off but it would be a step closer to be noticed by his great sunbae.
“Dr. Jonghyun! Your babies have come out of their shells, I see,” a guy in front of the nurses' station greeted. He was wearing a white coat and the scrubs underneath were as dark as Dr. Kim's so Junmyeon assumed he must be an assistant resident as well. His droopy eyes and calming smile had this instant calming effect that Junmyeon couldn't help but be wary of.
“They're all healthy as you can see. How about your foals, Dr. Zhang?”
“My introductory tour has long been over. They're in the nursery now. Dr. Kim from Pediatrics is babysitting them,” the doctor replied with a contented, dimpled smile.
“I hope you don't lose them again like last year,” Dr. Jonghyun smiled, his remark earning him a friendly slap to his arm, as he turned to their group. “Everyone, this is Dr. Zhang Yixing. He's a resident here and his specialty is neurosurgery.”
There were a few murmurs from the female population of their small group and Junmyeon knew it had something to do with horoscopes and compatibility with Dr. Zhang. The doctor could be a cover model for Seventeen magazine with that kind of face. Junmyeon's a Gemini, by the way, if anybody's interested. His MBTI type is ENFJ and his blood type is AB. He wondered whether Dr. Kim Jongdae's profile would be available for discussion anytime soon for he wanted to take note of such details.
“Sorry to make this brief Dr. Zhang, but we are far from finishing so we need to go ahead,” Dr. Kim Jonghyun said as he gave the other doctor's arm a gentle pat. Dr. Zhang acknowledged the gesture by tilting his head a bit forward for a friendly bow and a pursed smile. And their tour continued.
“Anyway, don't mind Dr. Zhang's comment about the hatching. You're all my baby dinos. It’s a running joke but please don't be offended. The senior residents started using the term last year when the competition between Doctor Kim Jongdae and me started getting fierce. It only applies to the two teams, though. Dr. Zhang's first year residents have a different title but they compete with us when it comes to the targets as well.”
Tyrannosaurus [T-Rex]―that was their pet name as Junmyeon eventually learned thanks to his teammates’ constant pestering. Dr. Kim Jongdae’s team, meanwhile, was the Pterodactyls [Pteros]. As to the story behind why the specific species, he had no idea. If Junmyeon were to be patient, maybe he’d find out later on.
Dr. Zhang’s team, on the other hand, were called Little Ponies. The cutesy nickname made it more appealing to the rest of the staff who cooed at the new members because they were all giants―both in size and in aura. Junmyeon initially thought the group earlier with Dr. Zhang, when he saw them at the lobby, was all made up of senior doctors. Apparently not.
“Well, we'll slowly throw you out to the pond but you can take it easy for the first three days as you familiarize yourselves with the very basic in-and-outs of the hospital. And you can always ask me relevant questions.”
There wasn't much to ask from their team lead to be honest. The senior would never miss introducing them to any staff they encounter in the hallway. Even the location of the nearest garbage cans and vending machines plus the most comfortable heated benches, the doctor didn't fail to tell them. The day would end with Junmyeon having used a quarter of his new notebook, scribbling names and random hospital information in it.
“Also, between us, you can just call me Doctor Jonghyun. I don't mind,” said the team lead while chewing on his sandwich.
They were in the hospital cafeteria now, enjoying a short break before they continue to tour the remaining half of the building.
“But, don't ever call Doctor Kim Jongdae just Doctor Jongdae. He'll never like that. You can call Dr. Zhang as Doctor Zhang 'cause there are only two Zhangs in the building and the other's already a senior but in medicine as a cardiologist; not in surgery.
“The Kims, meanwhile, are very prolific here. Just from the residents we already have a lot. Then more have been added from your batch, including our very own Kim Junmyeon.” A friendly slap on the back by the assistant resident and it sent Junmyeon smiling awkwardly at the stares directed his way. “I swear if you go specialize in genitourinary or pathology we can go team up and make a Kim surgery team or something. But no pressure.”
There was nothing else to do but acknowledge the remark and nod. If Junmyeon were to be honest, he had already decided to pursue cardiothoracic. The thought of Dr. Kim Jongdae smiling at his choice made his insides flutter.
“I think most of the Kims in the country are attracted to the 'seonsaengnim' title but I've yet to make a research on that claim,” added Doctor Jonghyun absent-mindedly, more of a brain-vomit than of anything else.
The rest of the people in the table, five heads in total, nodded in agreement except for Junmyeon who was busy thinking about Dr. Kim Jongdae’s voice. And how nice and low it would be if the doctor were to personally give him instructions during a surgery. Maybe in two or three years, if he’d do his best and succeed. A year if he’d do his bestest.
“Anyway, before most of you encounter something while on the floor regarding the other team, I'll let you know now. You'll be working with the other first year resident trainees from time to time, so encountering their incharge will also be inevitable. If, by any chance, Doctor Kim Jongdae is cold to you, please don't take it against him? He gets along well with the rest of the newbies just not with our team.”
Not with our team.
Not with Junmyeon’s team.
Not with Junmyeon.
Not Junmyeon.
Not.
No.
“Why?” One of his teammates, a guy with big curious eyes and a baby face named Lee Hyunwoo if Junmyeon remembered correctly, asked.
Good thing somebody got ahead of him, for Junmyeon almost gasped out loud due to shock.
“It's his way of competing. He had always been like that since we were kids. Sibling rivalry, as you call it. But don't worry, he'll warm up to you guys once you're done with your first year here and become free from my care.
“For now, just do your best,” Dr. Jonghyun assured them, bringing his greasy hand to slap Junmyeon’s back again. Whether it was a blessing or a curse to have sat next to the assistant resident, Junmyeon didn’t know.
More than anything, it was disappointing to have learned that the monumental gap to cross between him and Dr. Kim Jongdae had only gotten bigger. He just wanted to at least be friends (and maybe crush on the guy closer) but it now seemed out of reach.
Junmyeon took a glance towards the huge glass windows. Maybe it was just him but the once clear sky had suddenly turned downcast.
#
People detest the days between Monday and Friday. It is the slowest Time could actually go just to mock those who wait. At least normal working people who clock in at seven and out to go home by five are firm haters.
For the doctors who are slaves of their own time, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays become irrelevant. They work in a way that everything is measured on which patient to attend to right after and help, or which doctor or staff to report to.
Fourteen hours a day, six days a week for Junmyeon. That was the schedule he had agreed upon during the interview. And it had only been his third day as a first-year resident but his eyes felt like they would roll up and give his frontal lobes a good stare anytime soon.
The first-year resident was expecting that the doctors and trainees, considering that the hospital was the biggest one in the country, would at least look haggard and almost sick. He was once again proven so wrong.
He almost thought he got lost and walked into the medical ward, but the nameplates said he was in the surgical one. The staff might just be really efficient to look good twenty-four-seven. Or maybe it was one of those unspoken rules.
There was also the factor that maybe he, along with the other first year residents, was still adjusting to this kind of new life. The way larvaes look grotesque and ugly-cute at first but they turn to beautiful creatures when maturity strikes. He wished they were the same. Hopefully he’d get to look like he had just walked out of the shower looking refreshed and irresistible after having performed two fourteen-hour surgeries back-to-back in the future; if he were to work harder. Very much like the doctor he had been admiring the most.
Since Dr. Jonghyun announced about the small welcome party the new residents would be having that Friday, Junmyeon only wished that the end of the week would come sooner. Imagine all the chances he’d get to network! And maybe get to talk to a certain doctor with curly smiles and a nice voice!
Except when Friday came, complete with overflowing booze and food on square tables in one of the bars near the hospital, Junmyeon wished the night would just end.
Dr. Kim Jongdae was nowhere in sight. Or maybe the doctor was running late because he had stayed behind in the hospital and was trying to finish a complicated surgery? Junmyeon so wished that were the case. Dr. Kim Jongdae seemed amiable enough, the type to not avoid social gatherings.
He had drawn the number six, thanks to Dr. Jonghyun’s ingenious idea for newbies to socialize-ala-speed dating, at the same time he had been offered his first cup of mixed drink for the night. Trudging his way towards the table in the corner, he spotted four other people seated in it.
Junmyeon only recognized Dr. Zhang whom he had met the first day, just that the neurosurgery resident belonged in the table adjacent to theirs, and was busy leaning in and talking under his breath with the other people Junmyeon barely recognized under the dim lighting.
Dr. Do Kyungsoo, the only other first year resident in Table 6, scooted a little to make space so Junmyeon could squeeze his seat in-between.
“Now that we’re complete, we can start introducing ourselves?” offered the guy seated across him. His huge, cat-like eyes framed in rounded spectacles went to-and-fro between them, the only first-years in the table, until it finally settled on Junmyeon [surely Dr. Do’s squawk of protest was just his imagination].
He stood up from his seat, a weak cough escaping from his lips as he cleared his throat. “My name is Kim Junmyeon.”
“A Kim from the latest generation!” A guy with an overgrown bowlcut, big round eyes and straight white teeth in his impish grin threw his hands in the air like he won a bingo round. “If Dr. Jongdae would be here, The Great Kim line would have been complete!” he exclaimed with great enthusiasm and sparkle in his eyes, which the earlier doctor, the one with cat-like features admonished by saying, ‘you're scaring off the newbie, Yeolie,’ all the while bringing ‘Yeolie's' arms down, hands to his knees, and patted it in place. Maybe this was the alcohol mixing with stress talking, but to Junmyeon, it seemed like a Lion King scene with Mufasa and Simba having some father-and-son talk―except the lion dad was a wee bit smaller than his cub.
“I’m from Dr. Jonghyun’s team. Please take care of me,” he added as he gave a bow and returned to his seat.
“Which specializations have you considered pursuing, Dr. Junmyeon?” asked Dr. M (for he had yet to know the name of the resident so for now the guy would have Mufasa’s initial).
“I’ve always wanted to focus on cardiothoracic, but I’m still open for options,” he sincerely answered, to which the others solemnly nodded to and wished him well for.
“My name is Do Kyungsoo. I’m under Dr. Kim Jongdae’s care,” introduced the guy seated to Junmyeon’s left a while later.
“Kyungsoo, you’re too stiff!” ‘Yeolie’ reprimanded. “We didn’t raise you that way. Your daddy B will cry if he were here!”
“You’re not even funny, Dr. Park,” Dr. Do retorted as he looked lazily at the guy across him. Proud of the reaction, the tall doctor flashed a playful grin that had the small, first-year resident grabbing for his uncapped water bottle and warning the other of the possibility of it hitting the other’s ‘very handsome face’.
The familiarity left Junmyeon gaping as he had yet to actually talk to other seniors aside from Dr. Jonghyun. Dr. Do being this close to a senior was sure enviable.
“Dr. Kyungsoo served his internship in this hospital so we’re quite familiar with him,” explained Dr. M with a gummy smile to him.
“As for specialty, I’m taking the pediatric surgery route," Dr. Do said as he turned to Junmyeon and offered his hand for a handshake. Well it somehow made sense when it was only him who was yet to be known in the table. "Pleased to formally meet you, Dr. Junmyeon.”
“Me next! Me next!” came the loud booming voice from the tallest in their group. “I’m Park Chanyeol. But I’m better known as Barnacle Boy thanks to Dr. Zhang. I’m an assistant resident and currently training in Pathology. It’d be my specialization... I guess.” The doctor ended it with a bow and a too-wide grin.
Dr. Park was like an oversized kid, Junmyeon noted.
“He’ll definitely shine bright as a pathologist,” muttered Dr. Do.
“I heard that Dr. Do! And thank you!”
“Barnacle Boy?” Junmyeon asked out of curiosity.
“Dr. Park here was ordered to treat an incoming patient at the E.R. one day. The patient was one of those performers in Sea World and was still in his costume when he was wheeled in.
“The guy refused to take off his fish-tail telling the staff that his boss’ daughter came with them and he didn’t want to break the little girl’s heart. You know, actors and their characters,” Dr. M explained to Junmyeon while Dr. Park nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
“He was wheezing like a dying seal puppy but he still refused to remove them. Good thing he freaked out and fainted when I was inserting the intercostal drain into his S.T,” Dr. Park said, shifting his tone in a mock serious one, sounding like a narrator in a historical documentary. “And Mermaid Man just came out as a pet name.”
“He intended it to spite the patient but it whipped Dr. Park here when he learned that Mermaid Man is actually his soulmate. And Dr. Zhang took the liberty to call him Barnacle Boy.”
“From Spongebob of course," Dr. Zhang answered from his table without looking back, much to the surprise of the people from the two tables combined. "God, I really love that show," muttered the neurosurgeon as he returned to the steady lull of conversation of his own small group.
“He’s definitely clingy. No pun intended,” snorted the silent doctor seated to Junmyeon’s right, and Dr. Park, amused with the witty remark, high-fived him.
Junmyeon would have forgotten about the reserved person if not for the intense gazes the guy threw to whoever was talking in their group. He was subjected to it earlier, and it only made him more self-conscious.
“You should see them when Baekhyun the Mermaid Man drops by,” suggested Dr. M as he returned his attention to Junmyeon.
“Baekhyun may come off as loud, but he makes the best sandwiches. Hands down to that,” came another comment from the neurosurgeon in the next table. The doctor’s ability to butt in like he had always been part of the conversation was surprising, and Junmyeon thought it would be wise to be careful around the person.
“Those were supposed to be for me, Dr. Zhang! And you always never fail to eat them!”
“Don’t you think even a bag-full of sandwiches is too much for a growing kid like you, Dr. Park?” Dr. Do quipped which had all the seniors, excluding the doctor in question, laughing.
"I’ll tell Baekhyun to only make sandwiches for me next time," pouted the giant resident.
“Okay, let's stop teasing Doctor Park and take a moment of silence for Doctor Kim-Jong-3.”
“My name is Kim Jongin. I'm also an assistant resident, same with Dr. Park. My team lead was Dr. Kim Jongdae in my first year of residency. I plan to specialize in anesthesiology. Pleased to have been invited here,” the resident said, bowed, and sat immediately to resume his silence. If anything, the kid was awkward.
“Don’t make an enemy out of him. He’s everyone’s little brother here," Dr. Park stage-whispered towards Junmyeon.
The youngest doctor, having sat between them, threw a friendly punch towards Dr. Park’s arm, his cheeks sporting a blush which Junmyeon found to be surprisingly adorable.
“Finished pre-med at 18, when kids his age had just survived through high school. He doesn't like talking much but he's very nice and reliable,” said Dr. M, darkening Dr. Jongin’s reddened cheeks further with his praise. "I'm Kim Minseok by the way. I'm from the pediatrics and I like kids."
"We know," the three doctors with them chorused.
A few more cups of drink and Junmyeon was buzzed. More comfortable talking and laughing resumed in their table as well in every corner of the place. Dr. Park had pulled Dr. Jongin to the dance floor with the taller doctor being cheered for by the crowd for a funny attempt on what seemed to be a dying, headless, turkey dance while Dr. Jongin was clapping his hands and laughing so hard in amusement. Junmyeon had an impression that pathology would be dark, cold, and smelling of death anywhere, but their hospital might be different because of Dr. Park.
Dr. Do was silently observing around with his big, round eyes, head subtly nodding to the dance music. Junmyeon chose to be doing the same as well, sipping from his cup from time to time to make it less awkward. They were engaged in a conversation about the best type of bread and coffee combination from the cafeteria with Dr. Minseok but when the dance music started booming from the speakers, Dr. Zhang from the next table let the rest go and mingle while he moved to theirs. Since then, it was a hushed conversation between him and Dr. Minseok about a common friend being a wet towel and not joining in on the fun.
By the end of the evening, Dr. Park was sporting a ribbon as an award for being the life of the party; Dr. Jongin had returned to their table, listened to the conversations and fell asleep with his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder; Dr. Minseok was consoling a weeping Dr. Zhang who accidentally drank from Dr. Do’s cup [‘I don’t really drink, I’m happy with my Oolong," said the neurosurgeon when he was still sober]; and Dr. Do was sharing his five-minute recipes with him while Junmyeon admitted to not being good around the kitchen.
A happy night, but maybe it would have been happier if his favorite doctor were around.
For the doctors who are slaves of their own time, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays become irrelevant. They work in a way that everything is measured on which patient to attend to right after and help, or which doctor or staff to report to.
Fourteen hours a day, six days a week for Junmyeon. That was the schedule he had agreed upon during the interview. And it had only been his third day as a first-year resident but his eyes felt like they would roll up and give his frontal lobes a good stare anytime soon.
The first-year resident was expecting that the doctors and trainees, considering that the hospital was the biggest one in the country, would at least look haggard and almost sick. He was once again proven so wrong.
He almost thought he got lost and walked into the medical ward, but the nameplates said he was in the surgical one. The staff might just be really efficient to look good twenty-four-seven. Or maybe it was one of those unspoken rules.
There was also the factor that maybe he, along with the other first year residents, was still adjusting to this kind of new life. The way larvaes look grotesque and ugly-cute at first but they turn to beautiful creatures when maturity strikes. He wished they were the same. Hopefully he’d get to look like he had just walked out of the shower looking refreshed and irresistible after having performed two fourteen-hour surgeries back-to-back in the future; if he were to work harder. Very much like the doctor he had been admiring the most.
Since Dr. Jonghyun announced about the small welcome party the new residents would be having that Friday, Junmyeon only wished that the end of the week would come sooner. Imagine all the chances he’d get to network! And maybe get to talk to a certain doctor with curly smiles and a nice voice!
Except when Friday came, complete with overflowing booze and food on square tables in one of the bars near the hospital, Junmyeon wished the night would just end.
Dr. Kim Jongdae was nowhere in sight. Or maybe the doctor was running late because he had stayed behind in the hospital and was trying to finish a complicated surgery? Junmyeon so wished that were the case. Dr. Kim Jongdae seemed amiable enough, the type to not avoid social gatherings.
He had drawn the number six, thanks to Dr. Jonghyun’s ingenious idea for newbies to socialize-ala-speed dating, at the same time he had been offered his first cup of mixed drink for the night. Trudging his way towards the table in the corner, he spotted four other people seated in it.
Junmyeon only recognized Dr. Zhang whom he had met the first day, just that the neurosurgery resident belonged in the table adjacent to theirs, and was busy leaning in and talking under his breath with the other people Junmyeon barely recognized under the dim lighting.
Dr. Do Kyungsoo, the only other first year resident in Table 6, scooted a little to make space so Junmyeon could squeeze his seat in-between.
“Now that we’re complete, we can start introducing ourselves?” offered the guy seated across him. His huge, cat-like eyes framed in rounded spectacles went to-and-fro between them, the only first-years in the table, until it finally settled on Junmyeon [surely Dr. Do’s squawk of protest was just his imagination].
He stood up from his seat, a weak cough escaping from his lips as he cleared his throat. “My name is Kim Junmyeon.”
“A Kim from the latest generation!” A guy with an overgrown bowlcut, big round eyes and straight white teeth in his impish grin threw his hands in the air like he won a bingo round. “If Dr. Jongdae would be here, The Great Kim line would have been complete!” he exclaimed with great enthusiasm and sparkle in his eyes, which the earlier doctor, the one with cat-like features admonished by saying, ‘you're scaring off the newbie, Yeolie,’ all the while bringing ‘Yeolie's' arms down, hands to his knees, and patted it in place. Maybe this was the alcohol mixing with stress talking, but to Junmyeon, it seemed like a Lion King scene with Mufasa and Simba having some father-and-son talk―except the lion dad was a wee bit smaller than his cub.
“I’m from Dr. Jonghyun’s team. Please take care of me,” he added as he gave a bow and returned to his seat.
“Which specializations have you considered pursuing, Dr. Junmyeon?” asked Dr. M (for he had yet to know the name of the resident so for now the guy would have Mufasa’s initial).
“I’ve always wanted to focus on cardiothoracic, but I’m still open for options,” he sincerely answered, to which the others solemnly nodded to and wished him well for.
“My name is Do Kyungsoo. I’m under Dr. Kim Jongdae’s care,” introduced the guy seated to Junmyeon’s left a while later.
“Kyungsoo, you’re too stiff!” ‘Yeolie’ reprimanded. “We didn’t raise you that way. Your daddy B will cry if he were here!”
“You’re not even funny, Dr. Park,” Dr. Do retorted as he looked lazily at the guy across him. Proud of the reaction, the tall doctor flashed a playful grin that had the small, first-year resident grabbing for his uncapped water bottle and warning the other of the possibility of it hitting the other’s ‘very handsome face’.
The familiarity left Junmyeon gaping as he had yet to actually talk to other seniors aside from Dr. Jonghyun. Dr. Do being this close to a senior was sure enviable.
“Dr. Kyungsoo served his internship in this hospital so we’re quite familiar with him,” explained Dr. M with a gummy smile to him.
“As for specialty, I’m taking the pediatric surgery route," Dr. Do said as he turned to Junmyeon and offered his hand for a handshake. Well it somehow made sense when it was only him who was yet to be known in the table. "Pleased to formally meet you, Dr. Junmyeon.”
“Me next! Me next!” came the loud booming voice from the tallest in their group. “I’m Park Chanyeol. But I’m better known as Barnacle Boy thanks to Dr. Zhang. I’m an assistant resident and currently training in Pathology. It’d be my specialization... I guess.” The doctor ended it with a bow and a too-wide grin.
Dr. Park was like an oversized kid, Junmyeon noted.
“He’ll definitely shine bright as a pathologist,” muttered Dr. Do.
“I heard that Dr. Do! And thank you!”
“Barnacle Boy?” Junmyeon asked out of curiosity.
“Dr. Park here was ordered to treat an incoming patient at the E.R. one day. The patient was one of those performers in Sea World and was still in his costume when he was wheeled in.
“The guy refused to take off his fish-tail telling the staff that his boss’ daughter came with them and he didn’t want to break the little girl’s heart. You know, actors and their characters,” Dr. M explained to Junmyeon while Dr. Park nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
“He was wheezing like a dying seal puppy but he still refused to remove them. Good thing he freaked out and fainted when I was inserting the intercostal drain into his S.T,” Dr. Park said, shifting his tone in a mock serious one, sounding like a narrator in a historical documentary. “And Mermaid Man just came out as a pet name.”
“He intended it to spite the patient but it whipped Dr. Park here when he learned that Mermaid Man is actually his soulmate. And Dr. Zhang took the liberty to call him Barnacle Boy.”
“From Spongebob of course," Dr. Zhang answered from his table without looking back, much to the surprise of the people from the two tables combined. "God, I really love that show," muttered the neurosurgeon as he returned to the steady lull of conversation of his own small group.
“He’s definitely clingy. No pun intended,” snorted the silent doctor seated to Junmyeon’s right, and Dr. Park, amused with the witty remark, high-fived him.
Junmyeon would have forgotten about the reserved person if not for the intense gazes the guy threw to whoever was talking in their group. He was subjected to it earlier, and it only made him more self-conscious.
“You should see them when Baekhyun the Mermaid Man drops by,” suggested Dr. M as he returned his attention to Junmyeon.
“Baekhyun may come off as loud, but he makes the best sandwiches. Hands down to that,” came another comment from the neurosurgeon in the next table. The doctor’s ability to butt in like he had always been part of the conversation was surprising, and Junmyeon thought it would be wise to be careful around the person.
“Those were supposed to be for me, Dr. Zhang! And you always never fail to eat them!”
“Don’t you think even a bag-full of sandwiches is too much for a growing kid like you, Dr. Park?” Dr. Do quipped which had all the seniors, excluding the doctor in question, laughing.
"I’ll tell Baekhyun to only make sandwiches for me next time," pouted the giant resident.
“Okay, let's stop teasing Doctor Park and take a moment of silence for Doctor Kim-Jong-3.”
“My name is Kim Jongin. I'm also an assistant resident, same with Dr. Park. My team lead was Dr. Kim Jongdae in my first year of residency. I plan to specialize in anesthesiology. Pleased to have been invited here,” the resident said, bowed, and sat immediately to resume his silence. If anything, the kid was awkward.
“Don’t make an enemy out of him. He’s everyone’s little brother here," Dr. Park stage-whispered towards Junmyeon.
The youngest doctor, having sat between them, threw a friendly punch towards Dr. Park’s arm, his cheeks sporting a blush which Junmyeon found to be surprisingly adorable.
“Finished pre-med at 18, when kids his age had just survived through high school. He doesn't like talking much but he's very nice and reliable,” said Dr. M, darkening Dr. Jongin’s reddened cheeks further with his praise. "I'm Kim Minseok by the way. I'm from the pediatrics and I like kids."
"We know," the three doctors with them chorused.
A few more cups of drink and Junmyeon was buzzed. More comfortable talking and laughing resumed in their table as well in every corner of the place. Dr. Park had pulled Dr. Jongin to the dance floor with the taller doctor being cheered for by the crowd for a funny attempt on what seemed to be a dying, headless, turkey dance while Dr. Jongin was clapping his hands and laughing so hard in amusement. Junmyeon had an impression that pathology would be dark, cold, and smelling of death anywhere, but their hospital might be different because of Dr. Park.
Dr. Do was silently observing around with his big, round eyes, head subtly nodding to the dance music. Junmyeon chose to be doing the same as well, sipping from his cup from time to time to make it less awkward. They were engaged in a conversation about the best type of bread and coffee combination from the cafeteria with Dr. Minseok but when the dance music started booming from the speakers, Dr. Zhang from the next table let the rest go and mingle while he moved to theirs. Since then, it was a hushed conversation between him and Dr. Minseok about a common friend being a wet towel and not joining in on the fun.
By the end of the evening, Dr. Park was sporting a ribbon as an award for being the life of the party; Dr. Jongin had returned to their table, listened to the conversations and fell asleep with his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder; Dr. Minseok was consoling a weeping Dr. Zhang who accidentally drank from Dr. Do’s cup [‘I don’t really drink, I’m happy with my Oolong," said the neurosurgeon when he was still sober]; and Dr. Do was sharing his five-minute recipes with him while Junmyeon admitted to not being good around the kitchen.
A happy night, but maybe it would have been happier if his favorite doctor were around.
#
It was only on the second week of Junmyeon’s great residency life but he was already feeling the fatigue of being on call 14 hours a day. He could still have an eight-hour sleep, but he decided to only have six, while the extra two hours he dedicated to reading and reviewing his medical school notes, and the other two hours walking to-and-fro the dorm around three blocks away from the hospital, taking a bath and bringing stuff he might need to the hospital like change of clothes and toiletries for sudden hospital sleepovers.
He was not complaining about the work load, he was just frustrated that he looked like his face would fall off any minute while the rest of the staff were like walking wax models of perfection. He wouldn't want Dr. Kim Jongdae to see him in such a state. The least he could do was look presentable while being useful in his assigned ward.
“Dr. Junmyeon!” Dr. Jonghyun's voice rang in the corridor, earning them a few looks from the nurses.
Junmyeon was staring at the unopened can of coffee in his hand, contemplating whether he’d take the second serving or reserve it for later. Maybe he should also be thankful because his team lead's voice worked like a nice wake-up call and he was soon walking towards the assistant resident who was talking to another doctor.
Turning on his heel and running away as fast as he could would be a much viable option since Dr. Jonghyun was having a conversation with none other than Junmyeon’s revered hospital staff as of date―the great Kim Jongdae.
Alas, his legs weren’t fast enough to follow his brain that Dr. Jonghyun already had an arm hooked around his shoulders when he had finally thought of a good excuse to be away.
“Dr. Junmyeon here is one of my babies. I'm now forcing you to know my children one by one since you intentionally missed the welcome party,” Dr. Jonghyun said and Junmyeon hoped the other didn’t notice how his heart rate picked-up when Dr. Kim Jongdae’s gaze was on him for a moment. “Also, he's from SMU, too, so that makes him a legitimate dongsaeng of yours.”
"I see," Dr. Kim Jongdae hummed and offered his hand, smiling his mega-watt smile that had Junmyeon squealing and squirming deep down. "Nice to meet you, then."
“My name is Kim Junmyeon. I've always admired Kim J-Jongdae-s-sunbaenim. It's an honor to meet you,” he stammered as he accepted the handshake.
“Were you a part of the acad org?”
“Ah! Yes, I joined when I was in third year.”
“I didn't like them.” The smile on Dr. Kim Jongdae’s face remained cordial albeit the implication that there was a possibility he already disliked Junmyeon due to a college org he was a member of. But thinking that way would be underestimating someone, and he’d rather not do so for his favorite person. “Anyway, I appreciate this Dr. Kim Jonghyun. See you around."
Maybe Junmyeon was reading too much into it, but the way Dr. Kim Jongdae avoided his gaze after the reveal of a probable org allegiance had his hope of getting closer to the doctor deflating to almost nothing.
"My younger brother is just a picky person and dislikes a lot of things. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything," Dr. Jonghyun said as soon as the other doctor was out of earshot.
Junmyeon could only whine and cover his face with his hands because he was so embarrassed that he was so easily read like an open book. Plus, he stammered earlier and he could have made an awesome impression but he didn’t!
Dr. Jonghyun was soon cooing, teasing him, while having his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders tighten into a playful half-hug as he dragged him towards the other end of the ward for an early group meeting. “You're so cute! You're even blushing!”
“I was uncool. Please stop it,” he mumbled, hoping he would get to redeem himself soon.
He was not complaining about the work load, he was just frustrated that he looked like his face would fall off any minute while the rest of the staff were like walking wax models of perfection. He wouldn't want Dr. Kim Jongdae to see him in such a state. The least he could do was look presentable while being useful in his assigned ward.
“Dr. Junmyeon!” Dr. Jonghyun's voice rang in the corridor, earning them a few looks from the nurses.
Junmyeon was staring at the unopened can of coffee in his hand, contemplating whether he’d take the second serving or reserve it for later. Maybe he should also be thankful because his team lead's voice worked like a nice wake-up call and he was soon walking towards the assistant resident who was talking to another doctor.
Turning on his heel and running away as fast as he could would be a much viable option since Dr. Jonghyun was having a conversation with none other than Junmyeon’s revered hospital staff as of date―the great Kim Jongdae.
Alas, his legs weren’t fast enough to follow his brain that Dr. Jonghyun already had an arm hooked around his shoulders when he had finally thought of a good excuse to be away.
“Dr. Junmyeon here is one of my babies. I'm now forcing you to know my children one by one since you intentionally missed the welcome party,” Dr. Jonghyun said and Junmyeon hoped the other didn’t notice how his heart rate picked-up when Dr. Kim Jongdae’s gaze was on him for a moment. “Also, he's from SMU, too, so that makes him a legitimate dongsaeng of yours.”
"I see," Dr. Kim Jongdae hummed and offered his hand, smiling his mega-watt smile that had Junmyeon squealing and squirming deep down. "Nice to meet you, then."
“My name is Kim Junmyeon. I've always admired Kim J-Jongdae-s-sunbaenim. It's an honor to meet you,” he stammered as he accepted the handshake.
“Were you a part of the acad org?”
“Ah! Yes, I joined when I was in third year.”
“I didn't like them.” The smile on Dr. Kim Jongdae’s face remained cordial albeit the implication that there was a possibility he already disliked Junmyeon due to a college org he was a member of. But thinking that way would be underestimating someone, and he’d rather not do so for his favorite person. “Anyway, I appreciate this Dr. Kim Jonghyun. See you around."
Maybe Junmyeon was reading too much into it, but the way Dr. Kim Jongdae avoided his gaze after the reveal of a probable org allegiance had his hope of getting closer to the doctor deflating to almost nothing.
"My younger brother is just a picky person and dislikes a lot of things. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything," Dr. Jonghyun said as soon as the other doctor was out of earshot.
Junmyeon could only whine and cover his face with his hands because he was so embarrassed that he was so easily read like an open book. Plus, he stammered earlier and he could have made an awesome impression but he didn’t!
Dr. Jonghyun was soon cooing, teasing him, while having his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders tighten into a playful half-hug as he dragged him towards the other end of the ward for an early group meeting. “You're so cute! You're even blushing!”
“I was uncool. Please stop it,” he mumbled, hoping he would get to redeem himself soon.
#
The first month rolled by with Junmyeon running around the hospital, being asked to help left and right, even by residents he had no idea how come they knew him in the first place.
His breaks were spent mostly sitting on the bench near the vending machine in the third floor, right wing, as he silently enjoyed his can of long black. Sometimes, Dr. Jongin would join him, talking about his recent Pokemon catches or just stay in comfortable silence. Dr. Minseok would hang out with them, too, though rarely since the resident’s schedule was packed with surgeries. And surgeries involving kids are very difficult and time consuming.
Junmyeon was just coming back from a break at two in the morning, holding on to two four-tiered sandwiches which Dr. Park had passed on to him. The giant resident chanced upon Junmyeon while delivering some results in the rare instances the gentle giant emerged from the deepest pits of pathology hell, bringing with him food which he had conveniently called ‘battle rations’ to share.
"Baekhyun brought these in as dinner. I couldn’t lure Dr. Do to the morgue so I brought the food with me when I was asked to run an errand upstairs," Dr. Park had explained. "And Dr. Kim! Hyung! I’m begging you to bring this to him! In return, you’ll have my second serving of four-tiered extra cheese, extra ham, no mayo just love goodness made especially by my Baekhyun! Please!"
Junmyeon would surely be a horrible person if he were to turn Dr. Park down so he nodded and promised to deliver it, earning him a tight squeeze from the resident as thanks.
His work phone soon buzzed on the way down and he considered it a perfect timing for it was a message from Dr. Do himself. But the message content was urgent and had Junmyeon rushing to the first floor and leaving the sandwiches in nurses’ station.
E.R. Stat. Neck laceration.
“Attempted suicide. Cut himself with a knife. I think he nicked both his carotids. I'm afraid to let go unless we want a bloody mess at this hour,” Dr. Do rattled off as soon as he reached the room, assuming the question on Junmyeon’s face when his eyes didn’t leave the other doctor’s gloved hands which here clamped on the patient’s neck.
The man they were trying to save was wide awake, his eyes alert, gazing at him and back to Dr. Do when Junmyeon came closer after scrubbing his hands and donning the latex gloves. Panic was written on the patient’s pale face when instead of a voice, only gurgling sounds came out.
“I don't think he has hit any of two. He's too wide awake," Junmyeon assured the other doctor who looked as stressed as the patient. Dark eyebags became more visible as color drained from Dr. Do’s small face. Understandable, when it should be a slow time for the E.R. to be getting patients, but in the occasion it did, most of the cases came in with a bang; like this time. "The most he could have done is give himself a free tracheotomy. I'll go get the clamps then we'll see, okay?”
True enough, the guy was only able to hit the smaller vessels which they worked on closing for the next minutes. Kevin, the name of the patient they had come to learn when the nurse confirmed the info, was soon safe, sedated and being wheeled out of emergency to be admitted.
The color on Dr. Do’s face was also back when Junmyeon waited for him as he finished recording stats in the log for the next doctor.
“I thought the patient earlier was a goner,” Dr. Do muttered as they sat on Junmyeon’s favorite bench near the vending machine.
“We found out that it was too far from the case,” said Junmyeon. “I guess we never get to see much suicide cases here but just a tip―people rarely succeed in offing themselves when knives are involved. Take for example the guy earlier. He must have thrown his head back when he cut his neck so he hit his poor trachea."
“Did you handle a lot of attempted suicide cases during med school internship?” Dr. Do asked.
“By personal experience.” Junmyeon took off his wristwatch and showed the doctor the two thin lines running across his skin. Dr. Do was clearly surprised with the way his eyes became bigger. “Same principle applies with cutting somewhere else. Good thing I wasn't in med school yet when this happened. I wouldn't be here now if I learned how to do it properly in the first place.”
He was in second year in the integrated business college and a little bit halfway through being a CPA lawyer like his father but the pressure ate him whole. For a course he had been working so hard for despite it not being what he actually wanted to pursue, getting a grade lower than average was the last straw. If he could not be useful for his father then he might as well just end it. Dark days for him but it was also the time when he realized what he exactly wanted to do―after spending a while in the hospital and witnessing how the doctors and the rest of the staff worked.
He didn’t mean to make his and Dr. Do’s conversation awkward due to the revelation, so he decided to replace his watch soon and maybe apologize for making it so. Sometimes silence serves as much as a confirmation of a question, whether it was voiced or unvoiced.
“I o-overdosed on sleeping pills before. Accidentally.” Dr. Do quickly said when Junmyeon made a move to leave, picking up his empty can of coffee.
Slumping back to his seat, Junmyeon nodded. He’d like to tell the guy that there was no need for modesty, but Dr. Do, silent as he might be, was looking like he wanted to tell this story to somebody, and Junmyeon appreciated the effort on top of being honored to be the recipient of something about the fellow doctor’s very private life.
“I was given meds when my body clock got so messed up I'd be fully-functional for three days straight without any nap. The usual dosage turned out to be too strong for me. I was rushed to the emergency when my parents couldn't wake me up the next day.
“Before then my family was thinking I was into drugs―with the whole not getting tired thing―and the overdose happened. Until now they believe it's attempted suicide. And I've never been too comfortable over family dinners after that.
“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with my story. I just thought it would be polite to share my story, too, after you had shared yours," Dr. Do explained.
“Guess that makes us even,” Junmyeon said and smiled.
"You bet," replied the doctor, followed by his signature heart-shaped smile and a fist bump.
His breaks were spent mostly sitting on the bench near the vending machine in the third floor, right wing, as he silently enjoyed his can of long black. Sometimes, Dr. Jongin would join him, talking about his recent Pokemon catches or just stay in comfortable silence. Dr. Minseok would hang out with them, too, though rarely since the resident’s schedule was packed with surgeries. And surgeries involving kids are very difficult and time consuming.
Junmyeon was just coming back from a break at two in the morning, holding on to two four-tiered sandwiches which Dr. Park had passed on to him. The giant resident chanced upon Junmyeon while delivering some results in the rare instances the gentle giant emerged from the deepest pits of pathology hell, bringing with him food which he had conveniently called ‘battle rations’ to share.
"Baekhyun brought these in as dinner. I couldn’t lure Dr. Do to the morgue so I brought the food with me when I was asked to run an errand upstairs," Dr. Park had explained. "And Dr. Kim! Hyung! I’m begging you to bring this to him! In return, you’ll have my second serving of four-tiered extra cheese, extra ham, no mayo just love goodness made especially by my Baekhyun! Please!"
Junmyeon would surely be a horrible person if he were to turn Dr. Park down so he nodded and promised to deliver it, earning him a tight squeeze from the resident as thanks.
His work phone soon buzzed on the way down and he considered it a perfect timing for it was a message from Dr. Do himself. But the message content was urgent and had Junmyeon rushing to the first floor and leaving the sandwiches in nurses’ station.
E.R. Stat. Neck laceration.
“Attempted suicide. Cut himself with a knife. I think he nicked both his carotids. I'm afraid to let go unless we want a bloody mess at this hour,” Dr. Do rattled off as soon as he reached the room, assuming the question on Junmyeon’s face when his eyes didn’t leave the other doctor’s gloved hands which here clamped on the patient’s neck.
The man they were trying to save was wide awake, his eyes alert, gazing at him and back to Dr. Do when Junmyeon came closer after scrubbing his hands and donning the latex gloves. Panic was written on the patient’s pale face when instead of a voice, only gurgling sounds came out.
“I don't think he has hit any of two. He's too wide awake," Junmyeon assured the other doctor who looked as stressed as the patient. Dark eyebags became more visible as color drained from Dr. Do’s small face. Understandable, when it should be a slow time for the E.R. to be getting patients, but in the occasion it did, most of the cases came in with a bang; like this time. "The most he could have done is give himself a free tracheotomy. I'll go get the clamps then we'll see, okay?”
True enough, the guy was only able to hit the smaller vessels which they worked on closing for the next minutes. Kevin, the name of the patient they had come to learn when the nurse confirmed the info, was soon safe, sedated and being wheeled out of emergency to be admitted.
The color on Dr. Do’s face was also back when Junmyeon waited for him as he finished recording stats in the log for the next doctor.
“I thought the patient earlier was a goner,” Dr. Do muttered as they sat on Junmyeon’s favorite bench near the vending machine.
“We found out that it was too far from the case,” said Junmyeon. “I guess we never get to see much suicide cases here but just a tip―people rarely succeed in offing themselves when knives are involved. Take for example the guy earlier. He must have thrown his head back when he cut his neck so he hit his poor trachea."
“Did you handle a lot of attempted suicide cases during med school internship?” Dr. Do asked.
“By personal experience.” Junmyeon took off his wristwatch and showed the doctor the two thin lines running across his skin. Dr. Do was clearly surprised with the way his eyes became bigger. “Same principle applies with cutting somewhere else. Good thing I wasn't in med school yet when this happened. I wouldn't be here now if I learned how to do it properly in the first place.”
He was in second year in the integrated business college and a little bit halfway through being a CPA lawyer like his father but the pressure ate him whole. For a course he had been working so hard for despite it not being what he actually wanted to pursue, getting a grade lower than average was the last straw. If he could not be useful for his father then he might as well just end it. Dark days for him but it was also the time when he realized what he exactly wanted to do―after spending a while in the hospital and witnessing how the doctors and the rest of the staff worked.
He didn’t mean to make his and Dr. Do’s conversation awkward due to the revelation, so he decided to replace his watch soon and maybe apologize for making it so. Sometimes silence serves as much as a confirmation of a question, whether it was voiced or unvoiced.
“I o-overdosed on sleeping pills before. Accidentally.” Dr. Do quickly said when Junmyeon made a move to leave, picking up his empty can of coffee.
Slumping back to his seat, Junmyeon nodded. He’d like to tell the guy that there was no need for modesty, but Dr. Do, silent as he might be, was looking like he wanted to tell this story to somebody, and Junmyeon appreciated the effort on top of being honored to be the recipient of something about the fellow doctor’s very private life.
“I was given meds when my body clock got so messed up I'd be fully-functional for three days straight without any nap. The usual dosage turned out to be too strong for me. I was rushed to the emergency when my parents couldn't wake me up the next day.
“Before then my family was thinking I was into drugs―with the whole not getting tired thing―and the overdose happened. Until now they believe it's attempted suicide. And I've never been too comfortable over family dinners after that.
“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with my story. I just thought it would be polite to share my story, too, after you had shared yours," Dr. Do explained.
“Guess that makes us even,” Junmyeon said and smiled.
"You bet," replied the doctor, followed by his signature heart-shaped smile and a fist bump.
#
When Junmyeon was younger, he came to believe that eating Lucky Charms would bring him luck. Each color and shape would stand for something―pink hearts for when he’d get to read a nice book, green clovers for when he’d get a star in class, and purple for when he’d get to visit his mom in the hospital and be allowed to stay for the night.
As he grew, like any other person reaching maturity, his view on the world became duller, foregoing the colorful goodness and choosing the more straightforward approach like any adult cereals in the market. And by then, Junmyeon had contented himself with the fact that luck would never be by his side.
Well except for one thing, maybe, and that was chancing upon Dr. Kim Jongdae at least thrice a day in the hospital. He did not dare check the resident’s schedule―he was a doctor aiming to be better, not a stalker-in-training―but no matter how hectic his schedule would get, at some point in time, he would see Dr. Kim Jongdae passing by, witness his healing smile, or hear his soothing voice. In all these chances, the few times he was very sure the cardiothoracic surgeon saw him, he’d smile and thank the heavens for the chance.
Guessing today was an exception since it was already past five in the afternoon and he had only seen the doctor once, Junmyeon spent his early dinner with Dr. Do in the cafeteria.
He was busy shoving rice and meat into his mouth when a shadow loomed and sat into the table, next to Dr. Do.
“Hey Dr. Soo,” said the voice, which had Junmyeon looking up because he was expecting the newly arrived person to be Dr. Park or Dr. Jongin. “Feed me, please," the tall, lanky guy, with sharp eyes and sharp nose half-whined while leaning towards the small doctor.
“That’s Dr. Do for you,” reprimanded the other, holding his unused spoon to knock on the guy’s forehead. A contained squawk and a hiss was like a reward to Dr. Do, making him beam and fix the guy’s ruffled fringes. “You’re on your break?”
“Barely made it. The great Pterodactyl-mama has no mercy,” muttered the person as he was about to rest his head on the table, only to whip his head towards Junmyeon. “Oh hello there! You’re from Dr. Jonghyun’s team, right?”
“Yes. My name is Kim Junmyeon. Pleased to meet you,” he bowed while trying to swallow the food he was chewing.
“Likewise. I’m from Pterodactyl-mama-Jongdae’s team. Name’s Huang Z-T-A-O."
“Stop introducing yourself like you’re about to drop a sick rap or something.” Another knock on Dr. Huang’s head courtesy of the mothering Dr. Do which was ignored by the other because his attention was homed in on Junmyeon.
“Blood type?” The tallest doctor, at the moment, asked.
“AB Positive.”
“Same! Don’t tell me your birthday’s on May?”
“May 22.”
“We’re just 20 days apart! Mine’s on the 2nd. Call me hyung.”
“Dr. Junmyeon is two years older than us, Dr. Tao, which makes you the actual youngest here.”
“Oh! Oh I’ll call you hyung then! You’ll be my only hyung while Xing-gege is my only gege!”
“Betting on Starbs venti he won’t last three days and he’d be calling someone else hyung,” Dr. Do told him.
Junmyeon, amused with the teasing, hummed and answered, "I’d say one week." Both of them waited for the other’s reaction.
“I say bull to that!" Dr. Huang half-shouted in disbelief. Dr. Do kept on staring at him, waiting for something. "Wait, I have to join as well? Why would I bet against myself?”
“Come on Dr. Tao.”
“Fine! Six months!” conceded the youngest.
“This is fun.” Dr. Do smiled as he brought the remaining stalk of broccoli from his bowl to Dr. Huang’s mouth.
Seeing teammates getting along like the two had Junmyeon feeling a bit envious. He wished he could be as caring as Dr. Do, or as touchy as Dr. Huang, but he’s neither, and it would be futile if he forced himself to be. Add the fact that a lot of the first-year residents in Dr. Jonghyun’s team, though younger than him by a few years, were very independent and much like him. He should just be thankful he was able to meet another first-year resident, an addition to his growing acquaintances in the hospital, and he was still able to chance upon Dr. Kim Jongdae, even just once, when he almost bumped into the doctor while he was in the E.R. earlier.
As he grew, like any other person reaching maturity, his view on the world became duller, foregoing the colorful goodness and choosing the more straightforward approach like any adult cereals in the market. And by then, Junmyeon had contented himself with the fact that luck would never be by his side.
Well except for one thing, maybe, and that was chancing upon Dr. Kim Jongdae at least thrice a day in the hospital. He did not dare check the resident’s schedule―he was a doctor aiming to be better, not a stalker-in-training―but no matter how hectic his schedule would get, at some point in time, he would see Dr. Kim Jongdae passing by, witness his healing smile, or hear his soothing voice. In all these chances, the few times he was very sure the cardiothoracic surgeon saw him, he’d smile and thank the heavens for the chance.
Guessing today was an exception since it was already past five in the afternoon and he had only seen the doctor once, Junmyeon spent his early dinner with Dr. Do in the cafeteria.
He was busy shoving rice and meat into his mouth when a shadow loomed and sat into the table, next to Dr. Do.
“Hey Dr. Soo,” said the voice, which had Junmyeon looking up because he was expecting the newly arrived person to be Dr. Park or Dr. Jongin. “Feed me, please," the tall, lanky guy, with sharp eyes and sharp nose half-whined while leaning towards the small doctor.
“That’s Dr. Do for you,” reprimanded the other, holding his unused spoon to knock on the guy’s forehead. A contained squawk and a hiss was like a reward to Dr. Do, making him beam and fix the guy’s ruffled fringes. “You’re on your break?”
“Barely made it. The great Pterodactyl-mama has no mercy,” muttered the person as he was about to rest his head on the table, only to whip his head towards Junmyeon. “Oh hello there! You’re from Dr. Jonghyun’s team, right?”
“Yes. My name is Kim Junmyeon. Pleased to meet you,” he bowed while trying to swallow the food he was chewing.
“Likewise. I’m from Pterodactyl-mama-Jongdae’s team. Name’s Huang Z-T-A-O."
“Stop introducing yourself like you’re about to drop a sick rap or something.” Another knock on Dr. Huang’s head courtesy of the mothering Dr. Do which was ignored by the other because his attention was homed in on Junmyeon.
“Blood type?” The tallest doctor, at the moment, asked.
“AB Positive.”
“Same! Don’t tell me your birthday’s on May?”
“May 22.”
“We’re just 20 days apart! Mine’s on the 2nd. Call me hyung.”
“Dr. Junmyeon is two years older than us, Dr. Tao, which makes you the actual youngest here.”
“Oh! Oh I’ll call you hyung then! You’ll be my only hyung while Xing-gege is my only gege!”
“Betting on Starbs venti he won’t last three days and he’d be calling someone else hyung,” Dr. Do told him.
Junmyeon, amused with the teasing, hummed and answered, "I’d say one week." Both of them waited for the other’s reaction.
“I say bull to that!" Dr. Huang half-shouted in disbelief. Dr. Do kept on staring at him, waiting for something. "Wait, I have to join as well? Why would I bet against myself?”
“Come on Dr. Tao.”
“Fine! Six months!” conceded the youngest.
“This is fun.” Dr. Do smiled as he brought the remaining stalk of broccoli from his bowl to Dr. Huang’s mouth.
Seeing teammates getting along like the two had Junmyeon feeling a bit envious. He wished he could be as caring as Dr. Do, or as touchy as Dr. Huang, but he’s neither, and it would be futile if he forced himself to be. Add the fact that a lot of the first-year residents in Dr. Jonghyun’s team, though younger than him by a few years, were very independent and much like him. He should just be thankful he was able to meet another first-year resident, an addition to his growing acquaintances in the hospital, and he was still able to chance upon Dr. Kim Jongdae, even just once, when he almost bumped into the doctor while he was in the E.R. earlier.
#
“I see someone being caffeine dependent,” a low, raspy voice whispered behind him which had the hair on Junmyeon’s nape rising.
“Dr. Do!” he squeaked, clutching the can to his chest in surprise when the other doctor came into his view.
“Second coffee?" Dr. Do asked as he pointedly glanced at the can Junmyeon was holding. "Also, hyung, I’ve been telling you to just call me by my first name.”
“I’ll call you by your name when we’re out of our shifts, okay?”
“Stingy,” Dr. Do sighed as he sat on the third bench from the right near the the vending machine. Junmyeon noted it seemed to be the guy’s favorite seat out of all the four. “Anyway, why are you having a mental conversation with that can?”
“I’m just thinking…” Junmyeon trailed off, contemplating on the possibility that he’d be misunderstood if he were to let anybody in on his small admiration. “Whether I should drink this for myself...”
“Or if you should stick to the initial plan of giving it to your crush?” Dr. Do continued like he knew what was coming all along. Junmyeon nodded slowly, a little bit embarrassed that he was (for the nth time) read so easily. “Too much coffee is not advisable, unless you want the crash later to be hard. Dr. Jongdae might appreciate a little bit of kindness if you were to give that to him,” advised the other.
“That’s not even reassuring―hey, how did you know―”
“Come on hyung, it’s not like you’re confessing your one-sided love for him all these years with that can of coffee.”
“I am not!” And I don’t do love, Junmyeon wanted to clarify.
"So? What’s stopping you?"
“Wouldn’t it be weird to receive something from a stranger?”
“Stranger? Tao’s talking non-stop about you to everyone in the team. Even Dr. Lee Jieun mentioned that her twin brother, Dr. Hyunwoo from your team, right? He had told her stuff about you. And do you know what the nurses call us two? The Marshmallow Duo. Don’t ask me why. I have no idea. Just that this kind of set-up brings me quite a trouble since the teams know you have an admirer from the ponies but you weren’t even a bit interested and the person’s thinking we’re going out. But that is my problem, not yours." Kyungsoo huffed while Junmyeon was left flabbergasted.
Admirer? From Dr. Zhang’s team? He didn’t really notice. He guessed it would be wise to find out and maybe apologize, later.
"Okay, you’re lucky I’m in the mood for saying a lot today. My point is, just accept that you aren’t as much as an enigma as you deem yourself to be. Plus, free food and drinks are nice when offered with good intentions,” the other continued.
Dr. Do might have a point. But what would people actually talk about Junmyeon? He should not bother himself into over thinking such things but then it somehow worried him. Also, he just thought it best to share a drink to someone who needed it. He had treated other people to free drinks before, even to Dr. Zhang who he was wary of. Dr. Kim Jongdae looked like he needed one when he saw him earlier.
“Dr. Do…” he treaded carefully with his words, “if I were to ask you to hand this to him, would you?”
“What’s in it for me?”
“I can treat you to a can of tea...?”
“Nah, not interested. How about,” Dr. Do trailed off, thinking of a better bargain. “You call me by my first name in the hospital?”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Then forget about it.”
“I’ll treat you to sandwich! The supreme one!” offered Junmyeon in haste before Dr. Do would decide to end the negotiation and leave him sitting with a cold can of coffee.
On second thought, his sandwich proposal was a bad one since Dr. Do was a regular recipient of Baekhyun the Mermaid Man’s gigantic sandwiches. And though Junmyeon was yet to meet the guy, he could attest that the sandwiches were really delicious that not even the cafeteria’s prided supreme stacks could rival.
Any nice idea would be appreciated, like a once a month meal to a restaurant, maybe? But they were too busy to go out so cross that. Volunteering to sub for the doctor in the rare times he’d not make it? Would the younger missing work be even possible?
“The supreme sandwich and you’ll call me by my first name?” Dr. Do asked, snapping Junmyeon from his thoughts.
“When it’s just between the two of us, yes.”
“Call,” agreed the other as the can of coffee was snatched from Junmyeon’s hands. “Any specific instructions? A post-it note to accompany this maybe?”
“Just don’t tell him it’s from me, please. If he asks, you can just say it’s your treat. He’d actually like that better,” Junmyeon smiled to himself and to the bittersweet thought that it would seem like Dr. Kim Jongdae would accept small presents from anybody aside from him.
“Fine,” Dr. Do huffed, about to leave when Junmyeon held onto his arm and pulled him towards the vending machine.
A can of tea fell from the slot after a few feeding of coins and pressing of buttons, and Junmyeon handed it to the younger resident. “The sandwich will come later. For now please accept this.
"Thank you, Kyungsoo,” he said in earnest and the smile from Dr. Do (then, Dr. Kyungsoo from now on) was infectious enough that for the rest of the day, two chanced meetings with Dr. Kim Jongdae [one was when the assistant resident was drinking a can of coffee], Junmyeon couldn’t stop himself from grinning and almost skipping out of glee along the hospital corridors.
“Dr. Do!” he squeaked, clutching the can to his chest in surprise when the other doctor came into his view.
“Second coffee?" Dr. Do asked as he pointedly glanced at the can Junmyeon was holding. "Also, hyung, I’ve been telling you to just call me by my first name.”
“I’ll call you by your name when we’re out of our shifts, okay?”
“Stingy,” Dr. Do sighed as he sat on the third bench from the right near the the vending machine. Junmyeon noted it seemed to be the guy’s favorite seat out of all the four. “Anyway, why are you having a mental conversation with that can?”
“I’m just thinking…” Junmyeon trailed off, contemplating on the possibility that he’d be misunderstood if he were to let anybody in on his small admiration. “Whether I should drink this for myself...”
“Or if you should stick to the initial plan of giving it to your crush?” Dr. Do continued like he knew what was coming all along. Junmyeon nodded slowly, a little bit embarrassed that he was (for the nth time) read so easily. “Too much coffee is not advisable, unless you want the crash later to be hard. Dr. Jongdae might appreciate a little bit of kindness if you were to give that to him,” advised the other.
“That’s not even reassuring―hey, how did you know―”
“Come on hyung, it’s not like you’re confessing your one-sided love for him all these years with that can of coffee.”
“I am not!” And I don’t do love, Junmyeon wanted to clarify.
"So? What’s stopping you?"
“Wouldn’t it be weird to receive something from a stranger?”
“Stranger? Tao’s talking non-stop about you to everyone in the team. Even Dr. Lee Jieun mentioned that her twin brother, Dr. Hyunwoo from your team, right? He had told her stuff about you. And do you know what the nurses call us two? The Marshmallow Duo. Don’t ask me why. I have no idea. Just that this kind of set-up brings me quite a trouble since the teams know you have an admirer from the ponies but you weren’t even a bit interested and the person’s thinking we’re going out. But that is my problem, not yours." Kyungsoo huffed while Junmyeon was left flabbergasted.
Admirer? From Dr. Zhang’s team? He didn’t really notice. He guessed it would be wise to find out and maybe apologize, later.
"Okay, you’re lucky I’m in the mood for saying a lot today. My point is, just accept that you aren’t as much as an enigma as you deem yourself to be. Plus, free food and drinks are nice when offered with good intentions,” the other continued.
Dr. Do might have a point. But what would people actually talk about Junmyeon? He should not bother himself into over thinking such things but then it somehow worried him. Also, he just thought it best to share a drink to someone who needed it. He had treated other people to free drinks before, even to Dr. Zhang who he was wary of. Dr. Kim Jongdae looked like he needed one when he saw him earlier.
“Dr. Do…” he treaded carefully with his words, “if I were to ask you to hand this to him, would you?”
“What’s in it for me?”
“I can treat you to a can of tea...?”
“Nah, not interested. How about,” Dr. Do trailed off, thinking of a better bargain. “You call me by my first name in the hospital?”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Then forget about it.”
“I’ll treat you to sandwich! The supreme one!” offered Junmyeon in haste before Dr. Do would decide to end the negotiation and leave him sitting with a cold can of coffee.
On second thought, his sandwich proposal was a bad one since Dr. Do was a regular recipient of Baekhyun the Mermaid Man’s gigantic sandwiches. And though Junmyeon was yet to meet the guy, he could attest that the sandwiches were really delicious that not even the cafeteria’s prided supreme stacks could rival.
Any nice idea would be appreciated, like a once a month meal to a restaurant, maybe? But they were too busy to go out so cross that. Volunteering to sub for the doctor in the rare times he’d not make it? Would the younger missing work be even possible?
“The supreme sandwich and you’ll call me by my first name?” Dr. Do asked, snapping Junmyeon from his thoughts.
“When it’s just between the two of us, yes.”
“Call,” agreed the other as the can of coffee was snatched from Junmyeon’s hands. “Any specific instructions? A post-it note to accompany this maybe?”
“Just don’t tell him it’s from me, please. If he asks, you can just say it’s your treat. He’d actually like that better,” Junmyeon smiled to himself and to the bittersweet thought that it would seem like Dr. Kim Jongdae would accept small presents from anybody aside from him.
“Fine,” Dr. Do huffed, about to leave when Junmyeon held onto his arm and pulled him towards the vending machine.
A can of tea fell from the slot after a few feeding of coins and pressing of buttons, and Junmyeon handed it to the younger resident. “The sandwich will come later. For now please accept this.
"Thank you, Kyungsoo,” he said in earnest and the smile from Dr. Do (then, Dr. Kyungsoo from now on) was infectious enough that for the rest of the day, two chanced meetings with Dr. Kim Jongdae [one was when the assistant resident was drinking a can of coffee], Junmyeon couldn’t stop himself from grinning and almost skipping out of glee along the hospital corridors.
#
To be regularly surrounded by the constant lull of activities, Junmyeon was bound to forget a lot of things. Admittedly, he wasn’t a great multi-tasker, preferring to face each hurdle one firm step forward at a time and with this personality of his, he had placed himself outside the radar for gossips and hospital legends which the staff, mostly nurses and a few first year residents, would take some refuge into during breaks, while he used the time to read something or observe surgeries in some other part of the building.
Severely low potassium levels and irregular heartbeat. No fam history or anything.
Cola dependence.
“I believe you should let Dr. Kim Minseok from pediatrics know about this,” the head nurse whispered to him, after he attended to a patient with a case of hypokalemia.
Junmyeon looked to the direction of his patient’s bed, and noted that the guy, though young-looking, was past his twenties. The severely low potassium levels in his blood caused irregular heartbeat which played a huge factor on the fainting spells [he was rushed in after fainting while grocery shopping]. No family history of heart ailments or anything when Junmyeon checked, so it would be due to the guy’s lifestyle and diet. And true to his hunches, it was later on revealed that the guy was cola dependent; soda as water substitute since he was fifteen.
"That kid is Dr. Minseok’s patient?” Junmyeon clarified to the nurse. He didn’t mean to offend and what would have been a valid word since pediatricians only handle cases of patients eighteen years old and below, unless...
“That's his boyfriend,” supplied the nurse in a hushed voice which made Junmyeon’s head turn to the woman and back to the patient at incredible speed his neck could allow him to perform.
“My patient is Dr. Minseok’s boyfriend?”
“No, the other guy,” answered the nurse, referring to the doe-eyed male who came in with the patient.
Junmyeon did note earlier when the guy clarified that he wasn’t a family member but a boyfriend of the patient, but he missed the pointed glances of the nurses towards to person. By now he had somehow understood what those had meant, given that Dr. Kim Minseok was well-liked in the hospital.
Dr. Minseok was notified, but it was only later on, when Junmyeon was done with his last rounds of the day that he chanced upon the resident who was silently sitting on one of the benches near the vending machine, which by now had become the favorite hangout of the welcome party’s Table 6 members.
Buying two cans of warm coffee from the machine, Junmyeon offered one to the senior and occupied the seat next to him. The other thanked him and smiled at the gesture.
“I guess the rumors are going around now and I'm already a pity case, right?” There was a pop as Dr. Minseok opened his can and took a swig from it. “About my ‘shameless’ boyfriend?”
Junmyeon couldn’t really avoid overhearing things, given that he was in-charge of Dr. Minseok’s boyfriend’s boyfriend’s case. Complicated situation, something he’d rather not take part of, and as much as possible he’d like to be neutral to, but Dr. Minseok was more than a colleague to him by now and the least he could do is to listen to Dr. Minseok’s side.
"Lu Han, my boyfriend, had always worn a ring on his pinky finger," Dr. Minseok said as his gaze fell on Junmyeon’s hand. "Your thread is a very light pink, but it’s there. I didn’t have mine before Han and I met but its appearance assured me that he’s indeed my soulmate.
"We were going out for three years until he brought Sehun along. At first I was averse to it, because I am the soulmate and there shouldn’t be anybody else. But then you get to learn that when it comes to love, you don’t choose it, it simply chooses you. You just have to accept it and feel it and pay it forward. It isn’t as simple as I’ve told you Junmyeon, but you just have to try to understand first.
"Once I did, life became happier. Han is not as bad as everyone thinks, and Sehun is not just a boyfriend, he is a part of our family. Now that I think about it, life became much happier because Sehun came into our lives. We just couldn’t control his cola intake, though. He’s too spoiled," Dr. Minseok managed to quip in the end and Junmyeon could not help but be amused.
Amazed would be another feeling for the senior. He couldn’t really explain it, he always had high respect towards the pediatrician, but knowing this side of him turned it a notch higher.
“I don't know how I'll be able to be like you, hyung,” Junmyeon admitted.
“You'll never be,” grinned the older, ruffling Junmyeon’s hair in the process. “Unless your soulmate has two of these,” Dr. Minseok added as he raised his marked pinky and pointed to the red string on it.
He couldn’t fathom how or why but when he actually saw the double threads adorning Lu Han’s pinky the next time he checked upon his patient, it made him question his own fate and its state of stagnancy.
‘Don’t rush yourself. When it comes, it comes. You just have to accept it,’ were Dr. Minseok’s words to him the night before.
But maybe the reason why his thread remained the same color was because he chose for it to be that way, and he guessed it would be better if that were the case.
Severely low potassium levels and irregular heartbeat. No fam history or anything.
Cola dependence.
“I believe you should let Dr. Kim Minseok from pediatrics know about this,” the head nurse whispered to him, after he attended to a patient with a case of hypokalemia.
Junmyeon looked to the direction of his patient’s bed, and noted that the guy, though young-looking, was past his twenties. The severely low potassium levels in his blood caused irregular heartbeat which played a huge factor on the fainting spells [he was rushed in after fainting while grocery shopping]. No family history of heart ailments or anything when Junmyeon checked, so it would be due to the guy’s lifestyle and diet. And true to his hunches, it was later on revealed that the guy was cola dependent; soda as water substitute since he was fifteen.
"That kid is Dr. Minseok’s patient?” Junmyeon clarified to the nurse. He didn’t mean to offend and what would have been a valid word since pediatricians only handle cases of patients eighteen years old and below, unless...
“That's his boyfriend,” supplied the nurse in a hushed voice which made Junmyeon’s head turn to the woman and back to the patient at incredible speed his neck could allow him to perform.
“My patient is Dr. Minseok’s boyfriend?”
“No, the other guy,” answered the nurse, referring to the doe-eyed male who came in with the patient.
Junmyeon did note earlier when the guy clarified that he wasn’t a family member but a boyfriend of the patient, but he missed the pointed glances of the nurses towards to person. By now he had somehow understood what those had meant, given that Dr. Kim Minseok was well-liked in the hospital.
Dr. Minseok was notified, but it was only later on, when Junmyeon was done with his last rounds of the day that he chanced upon the resident who was silently sitting on one of the benches near the vending machine, which by now had become the favorite hangout of the welcome party’s Table 6 members.
Buying two cans of warm coffee from the machine, Junmyeon offered one to the senior and occupied the seat next to him. The other thanked him and smiled at the gesture.
“I guess the rumors are going around now and I'm already a pity case, right?” There was a pop as Dr. Minseok opened his can and took a swig from it. “About my ‘shameless’ boyfriend?”
Junmyeon couldn’t really avoid overhearing things, given that he was in-charge of Dr. Minseok’s boyfriend’s boyfriend’s case. Complicated situation, something he’d rather not take part of, and as much as possible he’d like to be neutral to, but Dr. Minseok was more than a colleague to him by now and the least he could do is to listen to Dr. Minseok’s side.
"Lu Han, my boyfriend, had always worn a ring on his pinky finger," Dr. Minseok said as his gaze fell on Junmyeon’s hand. "Your thread is a very light pink, but it’s there. I didn’t have mine before Han and I met but its appearance assured me that he’s indeed my soulmate.
"We were going out for three years until he brought Sehun along. At first I was averse to it, because I am the soulmate and there shouldn’t be anybody else. But then you get to learn that when it comes to love, you don’t choose it, it simply chooses you. You just have to accept it and feel it and pay it forward. It isn’t as simple as I’ve told you Junmyeon, but you just have to try to understand first.
"Once I did, life became happier. Han is not as bad as everyone thinks, and Sehun is not just a boyfriend, he is a part of our family. Now that I think about it, life became much happier because Sehun came into our lives. We just couldn’t control his cola intake, though. He’s too spoiled," Dr. Minseok managed to quip in the end and Junmyeon could not help but be amused.
Amazed would be another feeling for the senior. He couldn’t really explain it, he always had high respect towards the pediatrician, but knowing this side of him turned it a notch higher.
“I don't know how I'll be able to be like you, hyung,” Junmyeon admitted.
“You'll never be,” grinned the older, ruffling Junmyeon’s hair in the process. “Unless your soulmate has two of these,” Dr. Minseok added as he raised his marked pinky and pointed to the red string on it.
He couldn’t fathom how or why but when he actually saw the double threads adorning Lu Han’s pinky the next time he checked upon his patient, it made him question his own fate and its state of stagnancy.
‘Don’t rush yourself. When it comes, it comes. You just have to accept it,’ were Dr. Minseok’s words to him the night before.
But maybe the reason why his thread remained the same color was because he chose for it to be that way, and he guessed it would be better if that were the case.
#
In one of his rotations in anesthesiology, they were required to perform ten central venous catheterization (CVC) and succeed on seven procedures to pass. It shouldn’t be much of a problem, given that it was a basic technique and drilled well during medical school, but having Dr. Kim Jongdae as his supervisor only put a lot of pressure on him to perform well on his first-ever CVC as a resident.
To make it brief and less embarrassing, he failed it. Yes, wasn’t able to do well with his most admired person the prime witness to his downfall. It took him a lot of time to find the central vein, him being a ball of nerves when he was just a few inches away from the great Kim Jongdae, that the assistant resident had to take over. And once the supervisor took over for any individual requirement, it would mean an automatic "F" in the trainee’s log.
There was a fat chance that Dr. Kim Jongdae remembered him due to his failure, and Junmyeon was determined to perform better in the future, given that he’d never get Dr. Kim Jongdae as a supervisor next time because he was sure he’d fail another procedure.
Not that he was blaming his failure on the doctor’s presence, but Dr. Kim Jongdae being around to guide Junmyeon would only spell disaster for him who’d get really nervous and pressured that fainting would be a possibility, though a far one, if he was not careful. Thus, he was left with no other choice but to work and study harder, giving up another hour of rest for longer time to study just to keep up with the rest.
To make it brief and less embarrassing, he failed it. Yes, wasn’t able to do well with his most admired person the prime witness to his downfall. It took him a lot of time to find the central vein, him being a ball of nerves when he was just a few inches away from the great Kim Jongdae, that the assistant resident had to take over. And once the supervisor took over for any individual requirement, it would mean an automatic "F" in the trainee’s log.
There was a fat chance that Dr. Kim Jongdae remembered him due to his failure, and Junmyeon was determined to perform better in the future, given that he’d never get Dr. Kim Jongdae as a supervisor next time because he was sure he’d fail another procedure.
Not that he was blaming his failure on the doctor’s presence, but Dr. Kim Jongdae being around to guide Junmyeon would only spell disaster for him who’d get really nervous and pressured that fainting would be a possibility, though a far one, if he was not careful. Thus, he was left with no other choice but to work and study harder, giving up another hour of rest for longer time to study just to keep up with the rest.
#
‘Hyung! How have you been? You rarely call so mom and dad are worried. Are you eating well? I miss you a lot! A loooooot. I was hoping you’d answer because I’m using the home phone. If you have time, call me back and talk to me? Please? Love, your cute younger brother Minho.’
Junmyeon gripped his phone as he closed his voice mail window. It had been a few days since he got Minho's message but every time he remembered to call back in-between his shifts, it was either too early in the morning, when everyone was asleep or midday when everyone was out of the house. He had been far away from home for so long, he moved out as soon as his internship started, so he had no idea of his younger brother’s personal cellphone number, adding a reminder to himself that he needed to add it to his contact list the next time he’d get to visit their home.
The plan, though, was cut short later in the day when Dr. Jonghyun sent him a message that a family member had been admitted and Junmyeon should proceed to the room indicated as soon as he was finished with his assignment, preferably during his break.
It was mid-autumn, and though Junmyeon was well-protected from the cold by the building’s exceptional heating system, he couldn’t ignore the chill that ran through his body when he received the message. He was panting when he rushed to the ward, having taken a few flights of stairs towards the right floor because the elevator was just too slow.
"I've been trying to call you but you aren't answering any of it," came his father’s stern greeting as soon as he entered the private room.
"Come on, darling. You know our Junmyeon is very busy," his mother tried to console her husband, sending Junmyeon an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, personal phones are left in the locker. We carry a different one while on shift," he explained, stealing a glance towards the bed where his younger brother was sleeping. "I only knew because Dr. Jonghyun informed me."
"See? Let me send you off now so you can rest," his mother suggested, guiding the old man out by his shoulders. "Junmyeon, mind looking after Minho for around 10 minutes? We’ll just get a cab so your father can go home," said the woman as she successfully ushered her husband out. Junmyeon nodded as he brought the stool from the corner of the room next to the bed.
"Finally," Minho said as he stretched his arms, surprising Junmyeon who was about to sit on the stool. "I'd end up getting caught pretending to be asleep if they stayed any longer," continued his younger brother, patting the thick blanket free from unnecessary folds. "I missed you, hyung. Please hug me?"
Junmyeon had to work up the courage to say no to his younger brother. Not when Minho, who was just two short years away from being legal, was feeling bad and in need of a hug. The younger would remain a baby in Junmyeon’s eyes.
"You've gotten thinner. Are you eating well?" Minho asked while not letting go of Junmyeon’s waist. "Bet your cafeteria food isn't that good."
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Never been better," answered the younger, finally letting go.
"What happened?"
"What did they write there?" Minho asked as he pointed to the foot of his bed where his chart was. Junmyeon side-stepped a bit to reach for it, his other arm being held tightly by the younger.
"Food poisoning," Junmyeon explained from the chart.
"Guess so," the other shrugged. "I was held hostage by the toilet bowl for a long time. But everything's fine now. Extra fine because I get to see you."
The want to preach about flattery was so strong but Junmyeon held back as his brother pulled him closer.
"Hyung? Did you finally meet your soulmate?"
"Huh? No?"
"Your thread! Why are you even trying to keep it from me," pouted the younger.
"Because I really haven't," Junmyeon said in defense.
"Maybe. Maybe you’ve just gotten paler that's why the thread looks darker," Minho mused as he continued to stare and scrutinize Junmyeon’s pinky. "But hyung, you're not keeping things from me, okay?"
"I'm not."
"Hyung? Come home on my birthday? It's a bit sad that we're in the same city but we rarely see each other nowadays. Please?"
It would be on December, almost two months away and he could surely find the time even if he’d have to take two straight shifts just to be able to make it.
Junmyeon nodded, a silent promise to his younger brother’s simple wish.
#
The whole of Junmyeon’s November was spent reviewing, helping out as much as he could when he was done with his tasks and preparing himself for the mid-year exams and his upcoming cardiothoracic assignment.
Six months worth of experience and counting, and he’d never failed to include everything—from glaring mistakes he committed which resulted to his failures to strong points to consider for his successes—in his personal logbook. It would seem he was obsessive, but it was just his own way of getting himself to improve for the better. And if Junmyeon were to pass the mid-year with flying colors, he'd never be too ashamed to face Dr. Kim Jongdae once his next assignment would start.
Breaks were spent less in his favorite hangout, the one near the vending machine, but more on observing other surgeries, sitting-in and assisting the residents if he was allowed to or attending lectures hosted by the hospital in the medical building. His sleeping pattern was almost non-existent, as his average of six hours dipped to four, occasionally two, with a burst of 10 minute naps strategically arranged in his schedule everyday; two bursts on average, three if he was lucky, none if he was too busy.
During one of his busiest days, he finally got to meet the once mysterious Mermaid Man the great sandwich maker. Baekhyun was of the same age as Dr. Chanyeol, with a soft, lilting voice which made him sound like he was singing when he was just being snarky, and a complementary build (to Dr. Park) which could be the cause of envy for people who have a thing for tall-and-small couple. Above it all, what made Baekhyun a great person was his talent to make really great sandwiches which could save a soul and make lots of it to feed a great number of people―Dr. Chanyeol, Dr. Kyungsoo, Dr. Zhang, Dr. Minseok, Dr. Jongin, Dr. Huang, every surgeon’s favorite scrub nurse Taeyeon, Junmyeon, even the two guards in the building entrance have their share, and the list was never ending. Seeing Baekhyun going around delivering his home-made sandwiches every other day was like witnessing a miracle and Junmyeon was one of the lucky people saved by it.
The daily caffeine fix was another thing which kept Junmyeon functioning. He’d have a can of it every meal, meaning three on average per day that had him buzzed all the way. The coffee kept his blood pumping, more than how his heart would sometimes skip a beat when he’d get a glimpse of Dr. Kim Jongdae. Junmyeon’s favorite person was still all smiles but lesser were they when he was around, he had come to notice.
He didn’t let it bother him, though. The doctor had always been notorious for being aloof, the type to keep a certain number of people close, and the fact that Dr. Kim Jongdae still accepted his regular can of coffee offering via Dr. Kyungsoo gave him some kind of peace.
His caffeine addiction [though he was still in denial of the rather judgmental term] went into limbo when Dr. Zhang, who was on his break, caught him buying his supposedly third can of coffee. Junmyeon seldom got to talk to the neurosurgeon in his six months of hospital residency, and most of the time, it was out of obligation like passing a message or handing in a report. The guy was on the same league with Dr. Kim Jongdae, for one, and there was never a chance for them to have a conversation out of work.
‘I'll trade my apple bunnies for that can of coffee,’ was the senior’s greeting when he approached, offering his plastic container of sliced apples and gesturing for the can in Junmyeon’s hand. ‘Coffee makes one twitchy which doesn’t bid well during surgeries. Try the apple bunnies instead. They work the same to keep you up and are way kinder to the tummy.’
The advice had caught Junmyeon off-guard, and the assistant resident paired it off with a one-of-a-kind dimpled smile which he did not know existed because he never actually cared enough to look properly. And he kind of regretted the decision. It was also an error on his part to give malice to Dr. Zhang’s pursed smile before like how he gave meaning to it as scheming or condescending because it turned out that the neurosurgeon was genuinely kind. A grown-up who actually took the time to make apple bunnies for himself and walk up to greenhorns like Junmyeon to talk them out of a possible bad habit? Like, wow. Junmyeon may be high on fatigue during this time and might have exaggerated his praises for people but he was not lying to say that Dr. Zhang would be one of the nicest people he had met in his residency; more so when the apple fix worked and he got out of the caffeine addiction like a totally renewed person.
The second half of November was the most nerve-wracking for the first-year residents. There was this one time Dr. Huang broke down while they were having one of their sandwich breaks (then a rare gathering due to their mismatched sched) because ‘Who the fuck would do a perfect cut down in one try when there’s already fucking Seldinger?’ while tears fell from his face and soaked the top-most bread of his sandwich. Then there was Dr. Kyungsoo who obsessed on stitching on his serving of plantain every meal because of a very embarrassing mistake he did in one of his duties which had the supervisor talking to Dr. Kim Jongdae with the assistant resident getting a good lecture about the basics.
Junmyeon was not spared from his own troubles, as well. His last CVC procedure would be a make or break one and if he needed to impress, he definitely had to succeed in it. But that was just one of the few things down his long list of requirements, there were still the more tedious, invasive procedures to mind up on the list, and the want to come out victorious melded well with the information overload which soaked him to the bones, making him feel fuzzy and warm until the end of the cold month.
Exams were during the last week of November and though it was over by the turn of the next month, there was still the results week right after. Junmyeon tried to maintain a neutral stance about the whole thing, he wouldn’t want to be the jinx, so he poured all of his attention back to his borderline-insane schedule of running around the hospital helping out on top of his usual duties.
It could be said that Christmas came in too early for Junmyeon when the dreaded results finally came out on the first day of December. He passed everything, and the tears which he withheld in the past month came out when the paper version of his performance was given to him by Dr. Jonghyun.
‘Dr. Junmyeon, I hope you clock out on time tonight and celebrate, okay?’ the team lead had told him while he and the rest of the first-years in the team were busy being emotional.
Following the resident’s advice, he timed out on the dot but since his shift was later than Dr. Kyungsoo’s and Dr. Huang’s (or any of the other seniors from The Table 6 squad), he walked with the residents who were going out the same time as him, heading to the same bar.
Not a lot of people were left when he arrived, most of his teammates who were there earlier had joined with the other team’s first-years and were on their second round of bar-hopping; including Dr. Kyungsoo and Dr. Tao [no longer Huang when he actually won the bet set against himself and bought not just a Venti as a reward but treated both Junmyeon and Dr. Kyungsoo to a large serving of their preferred drinks as well].
The small, cozy place was actually infested with senior residents and if Junmyeon were himself three months back, he would have chickened out and ran to where his fellow batchmates were. It was still daunting, but he preferred being with the quiet crowd to celebrate than the rowdy, younger ones getting wasted in some noisy club. But this must just be his old soul talking.
Volunteering to be the one to go to the bar and get a refill for their table, it surprised him to find his team lead Dr. Jonghyun, with Dr. Kim Jongdae and Dr. Zhang on the other side of the U-shaped counter.
“It amuses me how the hospital has become lenient recently. Like, you can just easily kiss up to the higher ups just so you can get high grades?” a voice drawled which Junmyeon couldn’t help but overhear and recognize when he approached closer to call the bartender.
“Now now, Jongdae, you're being salty,” commented Dr. Zhang who was seated to Dr. Kim Jongdae’s right. On his left was doctor Jonghyun who took a swig from his beer mug first then turned to his companions’ direction.
“He is! He can't accept that his favorite Dr. Do Little had to take removals while my baby Junmyeonie came out on top," Dr. Jonghyun said. "You weren’t even there to witness the last procedure, my child’s glorious moment, little brother, so you can’t say negative things about the result.”
“Why would I need to? He barely passed his basics. How the hell was he able to succeed on the invasive ones so easily?”
Good thing Junmyeon was standing in a dimly lit area of the bar or else he wouldn’t have made himself unknown to get to listen to a bit of the conversation. If he had come under the counter lights earlier, the disbelief on his face would have been palpable because he suddenly felt bad with the way the topic of the seniors’ conversation turned out to be about his result and Dr. Kim Jongdae’s lack of faith in him.
To say it didn’t hurt would be one hell of a lie. In which part exactly of his perseverance was he lacking? He did not cheat to get ahead of others, he actually worked hard to get the results he wanted. The worst might be because of all the people to question his ability, it would be Dr. Kim Jongdae, the last person he expected to make him feel undeserving of his success.
“I worked hard for it,” he said as he tried so hard to keep his voice steady, blinking back the tears that had welled in his eyes. The gasp from Dr. Zhang out of shock in his surprise appearance was some kind of a consolation. Dr. Kim Jongdae’s expression was stony as ever while Dr. Jonghyun squinted to his direction.
“Junmyeonie? You're here too?" his team lead asked disbelievingly. "Are you with someone?”
“The anesthesiologists—Dr. Choi and Dr. Jongin,” he answered, pointing to their table at the other end of the bar.
“Siwon-hyung! Jongin!” Dr. Jonghyun called out and waved, getting an equally loud roll-call of their bar company from Dr. Choi. “We'll move to their table once Junmyeonie gets a refill,” he directed to his companions.
Dr. Kim Jongdae straightened in his seat and moved to take out his wallet, most likely avoiding Junmyeon’s company once again. “Well, time for me to go ahead," he said as he left some bills on the counter and stood. "See you guys tomorrow. Don't drink too much,” he waved dismissively as Dr. Zhang scrambled to settle his tab as well and to follow the former.
Dr. Jonghyun sighed as he watched the two stumble outside, putting their empty glasses on the higher counter for the barkeeper to take. He then stood and made way towards Junmyeon, slinging an arm around his shoulder as they made their way back to the table with a refilled pitcher of beer on hand.
“Junmyeonie, please don't mind what my brother said, okay? Jongdae’s a sore loser and he just lost to a bet so he had to pay me and he’s rather stingy,” the assistant resident muttered.
On what kind of bet and by how much? Junmyeon would rather not know. The gist of it with him being involved was enough to make him feel awful all over again.
"Everyone knows you worked really hard for it, and you deserve it, so cheer up, okay?” Dr. Jonghyun assured but it did little to his dampened spirit.
‘Everyone knows’. Except Dr. Kim Jongdae.
Six months worth of experience and counting, and he’d never failed to include everything—from glaring mistakes he committed which resulted to his failures to strong points to consider for his successes—in his personal logbook. It would seem he was obsessive, but it was just his own way of getting himself to improve for the better. And if Junmyeon were to pass the mid-year with flying colors, he'd never be too ashamed to face Dr. Kim Jongdae once his next assignment would start.
Breaks were spent less in his favorite hangout, the one near the vending machine, but more on observing other surgeries, sitting-in and assisting the residents if he was allowed to or attending lectures hosted by the hospital in the medical building. His sleeping pattern was almost non-existent, as his average of six hours dipped to four, occasionally two, with a burst of 10 minute naps strategically arranged in his schedule everyday; two bursts on average, three if he was lucky, none if he was too busy.
During one of his busiest days, he finally got to meet the once mysterious Mermaid Man the great sandwich maker. Baekhyun was of the same age as Dr. Chanyeol, with a soft, lilting voice which made him sound like he was singing when he was just being snarky, and a complementary build (to Dr. Park) which could be the cause of envy for people who have a thing for tall-and-small couple. Above it all, what made Baekhyun a great person was his talent to make really great sandwiches which could save a soul and make lots of it to feed a great number of people―Dr. Chanyeol, Dr. Kyungsoo, Dr. Zhang, Dr. Minseok, Dr. Jongin, Dr. Huang, every surgeon’s favorite scrub nurse Taeyeon, Junmyeon, even the two guards in the building entrance have their share, and the list was never ending. Seeing Baekhyun going around delivering his home-made sandwiches every other day was like witnessing a miracle and Junmyeon was one of the lucky people saved by it.
The daily caffeine fix was another thing which kept Junmyeon functioning. He’d have a can of it every meal, meaning three on average per day that had him buzzed all the way. The coffee kept his blood pumping, more than how his heart would sometimes skip a beat when he’d get a glimpse of Dr. Kim Jongdae. Junmyeon’s favorite person was still all smiles but lesser were they when he was around, he had come to notice.
He didn’t let it bother him, though. The doctor had always been notorious for being aloof, the type to keep a certain number of people close, and the fact that Dr. Kim Jongdae still accepted his regular can of coffee offering via Dr. Kyungsoo gave him some kind of peace.
His caffeine addiction [though he was still in denial of the rather judgmental term] went into limbo when Dr. Zhang, who was on his break, caught him buying his supposedly third can of coffee. Junmyeon seldom got to talk to the neurosurgeon in his six months of hospital residency, and most of the time, it was out of obligation like passing a message or handing in a report. The guy was on the same league with Dr. Kim Jongdae, for one, and there was never a chance for them to have a conversation out of work.
‘I'll trade my apple bunnies for that can of coffee,’ was the senior’s greeting when he approached, offering his plastic container of sliced apples and gesturing for the can in Junmyeon’s hand. ‘Coffee makes one twitchy which doesn’t bid well during surgeries. Try the apple bunnies instead. They work the same to keep you up and are way kinder to the tummy.’
The advice had caught Junmyeon off-guard, and the assistant resident paired it off with a one-of-a-kind dimpled smile which he did not know existed because he never actually cared enough to look properly. And he kind of regretted the decision. It was also an error on his part to give malice to Dr. Zhang’s pursed smile before like how he gave meaning to it as scheming or condescending because it turned out that the neurosurgeon was genuinely kind. A grown-up who actually took the time to make apple bunnies for himself and walk up to greenhorns like Junmyeon to talk them out of a possible bad habit? Like, wow. Junmyeon may be high on fatigue during this time and might have exaggerated his praises for people but he was not lying to say that Dr. Zhang would be one of the nicest people he had met in his residency; more so when the apple fix worked and he got out of the caffeine addiction like a totally renewed person.
The second half of November was the most nerve-wracking for the first-year residents. There was this one time Dr. Huang broke down while they were having one of their sandwich breaks (then a rare gathering due to their mismatched sched) because ‘Who the fuck would do a perfect cut down in one try when there’s already fucking Seldinger?’ while tears fell from his face and soaked the top-most bread of his sandwich. Then there was Dr. Kyungsoo who obsessed on stitching on his serving of plantain every meal because of a very embarrassing mistake he did in one of his duties which had the supervisor talking to Dr. Kim Jongdae with the assistant resident getting a good lecture about the basics.
Junmyeon was not spared from his own troubles, as well. His last CVC procedure would be a make or break one and if he needed to impress, he definitely had to succeed in it. But that was just one of the few things down his long list of requirements, there were still the more tedious, invasive procedures to mind up on the list, and the want to come out victorious melded well with the information overload which soaked him to the bones, making him feel fuzzy and warm until the end of the cold month.
Exams were during the last week of November and though it was over by the turn of the next month, there was still the results week right after. Junmyeon tried to maintain a neutral stance about the whole thing, he wouldn’t want to be the jinx, so he poured all of his attention back to his borderline-insane schedule of running around the hospital helping out on top of his usual duties.
It could be said that Christmas came in too early for Junmyeon when the dreaded results finally came out on the first day of December. He passed everything, and the tears which he withheld in the past month came out when the paper version of his performance was given to him by Dr. Jonghyun.
‘Dr. Junmyeon, I hope you clock out on time tonight and celebrate, okay?’ the team lead had told him while he and the rest of the first-years in the team were busy being emotional.
Following the resident’s advice, he timed out on the dot but since his shift was later than Dr. Kyungsoo’s and Dr. Huang’s (or any of the other seniors from The Table 6 squad), he walked with the residents who were going out the same time as him, heading to the same bar.
Not a lot of people were left when he arrived, most of his teammates who were there earlier had joined with the other team’s first-years and were on their second round of bar-hopping; including Dr. Kyungsoo and Dr. Tao [no longer Huang when he actually won the bet set against himself and bought not just a Venti as a reward but treated both Junmyeon and Dr. Kyungsoo to a large serving of their preferred drinks as well].
The small, cozy place was actually infested with senior residents and if Junmyeon were himself three months back, he would have chickened out and ran to where his fellow batchmates were. It was still daunting, but he preferred being with the quiet crowd to celebrate than the rowdy, younger ones getting wasted in some noisy club. But this must just be his old soul talking.
Volunteering to be the one to go to the bar and get a refill for their table, it surprised him to find his team lead Dr. Jonghyun, with Dr. Kim Jongdae and Dr. Zhang on the other side of the U-shaped counter.
“It amuses me how the hospital has become lenient recently. Like, you can just easily kiss up to the higher ups just so you can get high grades?” a voice drawled which Junmyeon couldn’t help but overhear and recognize when he approached closer to call the bartender.
“Now now, Jongdae, you're being salty,” commented Dr. Zhang who was seated to Dr. Kim Jongdae’s right. On his left was doctor Jonghyun who took a swig from his beer mug first then turned to his companions’ direction.
“He is! He can't accept that his favorite Dr. Do Little had to take removals while my baby Junmyeonie came out on top," Dr. Jonghyun said. "You weren’t even there to witness the last procedure, my child’s glorious moment, little brother, so you can’t say negative things about the result.”
“Why would I need to? He barely passed his basics. How the hell was he able to succeed on the invasive ones so easily?”
Good thing Junmyeon was standing in a dimly lit area of the bar or else he wouldn’t have made himself unknown to get to listen to a bit of the conversation. If he had come under the counter lights earlier, the disbelief on his face would have been palpable because he suddenly felt bad with the way the topic of the seniors’ conversation turned out to be about his result and Dr. Kim Jongdae’s lack of faith in him.
To say it didn’t hurt would be one hell of a lie. In which part exactly of his perseverance was he lacking? He did not cheat to get ahead of others, he actually worked hard to get the results he wanted. The worst might be because of all the people to question his ability, it would be Dr. Kim Jongdae, the last person he expected to make him feel undeserving of his success.
“I worked hard for it,” he said as he tried so hard to keep his voice steady, blinking back the tears that had welled in his eyes. The gasp from Dr. Zhang out of shock in his surprise appearance was some kind of a consolation. Dr. Kim Jongdae’s expression was stony as ever while Dr. Jonghyun squinted to his direction.
“Junmyeonie? You're here too?" his team lead asked disbelievingly. "Are you with someone?”
“The anesthesiologists—Dr. Choi and Dr. Jongin,” he answered, pointing to their table at the other end of the bar.
“Siwon-hyung! Jongin!” Dr. Jonghyun called out and waved, getting an equally loud roll-call of their bar company from Dr. Choi. “We'll move to their table once Junmyeonie gets a refill,” he directed to his companions.
Dr. Kim Jongdae straightened in his seat and moved to take out his wallet, most likely avoiding Junmyeon’s company once again. “Well, time for me to go ahead," he said as he left some bills on the counter and stood. "See you guys tomorrow. Don't drink too much,” he waved dismissively as Dr. Zhang scrambled to settle his tab as well and to follow the former.
Dr. Jonghyun sighed as he watched the two stumble outside, putting their empty glasses on the higher counter for the barkeeper to take. He then stood and made way towards Junmyeon, slinging an arm around his shoulder as they made their way back to the table with a refilled pitcher of beer on hand.
“Junmyeonie, please don't mind what my brother said, okay? Jongdae’s a sore loser and he just lost to a bet so he had to pay me and he’s rather stingy,” the assistant resident muttered.
On what kind of bet and by how much? Junmyeon would rather not know. The gist of it with him being involved was enough to make him feel awful all over again.
"Everyone knows you worked really hard for it, and you deserve it, so cheer up, okay?” Dr. Jonghyun assured but it did little to his dampened spirit.
‘Everyone knows’. Except Dr. Kim Jongdae.
#
Maybe it was the winter chill, or maybe the hard comedown from the intense month prior that had Junmyeon feeling numb inside-out as he spent his days following his, by then regular, over-achieving schedule.
He was supposed to have more sandwich club hangouts [group name changed due to the addition of Dr. Tao, with honorary member Dr. Zhang to the group] but he rarely spent his break with them, opting to take naps on the other end of the building, second floor, the six-bed ward which was turned into a storage area for files and unused machines from the genitourinary department nearest to the fire exit. Three of the beds remained, and though Junmyeon only occupied the farthest one from the door, he had been keeping the place which he discovered a week before exams just to himself.
At the end of every week, Junmyeon would be going back to his locker, grabbing his duffel bag containing some change of clothes and toiletries, and heading home to get a fresh set only to return to the hospital an hour or two later, and spending his rest days studying in the library or visiting patients from the pediatrics and cancer wards.
There was the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he had forgotten something and it was only until he had his personal phone fully charged and turned on when he got to realize what exactly it was.
16 missed calls from an unknown number, one from home and a five-second empty voice message. Junmyeon didn’t need to guess why the calls were that many.
He had missed Minho's birthday.
The present was ready, Junmyeon had purchased it right before the exam week, and all he had to do was take an early out, go back to his parents’ house and personally wish his younger brother a happy birthday. But he wasn’t able to do anything.
His return calls to the mobile number, which was most likely his younger brother’s, wouldn’t connect and the hard truth of being blocked by the other was confirmed when he tried calling the same number through the payphone in the hospital lobby and the familiar voice answered.
"Minho?"
An awkward silence, a sigh, and an irritated "What do you want?" came from the other line.
"I―" I'm sorry, Junmyeon wanted to say, but any form of apology at the moment wouldn’t be enough. "I'll be sending out your gift today. Belated happy birthday."
"I don't need it. Is that all?"
"I got really busy I’m sorry for missing it―"
"We actually waited for you to turn up until midnight, did you know that? As much as I want to say it's fine, it isn't and I'm tired. I'm sure mom and dad are tired, too―trying to get your favor, to make you treat us like family, to get you to care but you're just... frigid. You're cruel, do you know that?"
"Minho, I'm sorry."
"I said I don't need it! What are you even apologizing for? Isn't this what you've always wanted? Having nothing to do with us?"
"It wasn’t my intention for you—or our parents to feel bad. I’m really sorry. I’ll make sure to come home during the New Year holidays and we’ll talk, okay?"
"You can still try those empty promises to mom and dad but I don't really recommend it. Stop making them feel awful for once. I don’t want to talk to you. Goodbye."
It was the first time a call was purposefully dropped on Junmyeon and if the purpose was to make him realize how awful of a person he was, then it could be rightfully called purposeful. He didn’t know he could still be funny even when it felt like his guts dropped to an impossible level of low, like towards his femurs, and he felt like reaching for the nearest bottle of anesthetic to drink―okay, he was no longer funny at this point and he needed to stop.
Being an awful person, he had no right to weep about it, but he was alone and aside from the conversation looping on his mind, he could do nothing but cry once he hid himself in his favorite room, away from anybody and anybody’s attempt on making him feel less awful.
He was supposed to have more sandwich club hangouts [group name changed due to the addition of Dr. Tao, with honorary member Dr. Zhang to the group] but he rarely spent his break with them, opting to take naps on the other end of the building, second floor, the six-bed ward which was turned into a storage area for files and unused machines from the genitourinary department nearest to the fire exit. Three of the beds remained, and though Junmyeon only occupied the farthest one from the door, he had been keeping the place which he discovered a week before exams just to himself.
At the end of every week, Junmyeon would be going back to his locker, grabbing his duffel bag containing some change of clothes and toiletries, and heading home to get a fresh set only to return to the hospital an hour or two later, and spending his rest days studying in the library or visiting patients from the pediatrics and cancer wards.
There was the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he had forgotten something and it was only until he had his personal phone fully charged and turned on when he got to realize what exactly it was.
16 missed calls from an unknown number, one from home and a five-second empty voice message. Junmyeon didn’t need to guess why the calls were that many.
He had missed Minho's birthday.
The present was ready, Junmyeon had purchased it right before the exam week, and all he had to do was take an early out, go back to his parents’ house and personally wish his younger brother a happy birthday. But he wasn’t able to do anything.
His return calls to the mobile number, which was most likely his younger brother’s, wouldn’t connect and the hard truth of being blocked by the other was confirmed when he tried calling the same number through the payphone in the hospital lobby and the familiar voice answered.
"Minho?"
An awkward silence, a sigh, and an irritated "What do you want?" came from the other line.
"I―" I'm sorry, Junmyeon wanted to say, but any form of apology at the moment wouldn’t be enough. "I'll be sending out your gift today. Belated happy birthday."
"I don't need it. Is that all?"
"I got really busy I’m sorry for missing it―"
"We actually waited for you to turn up until midnight, did you know that? As much as I want to say it's fine, it isn't and I'm tired. I'm sure mom and dad are tired, too―trying to get your favor, to make you treat us like family, to get you to care but you're just... frigid. You're cruel, do you know that?"
"Minho, I'm sorry."
"I said I don't need it! What are you even apologizing for? Isn't this what you've always wanted? Having nothing to do with us?"
"It wasn’t my intention for you—or our parents to feel bad. I’m really sorry. I’ll make sure to come home during the New Year holidays and we’ll talk, okay?"
"You can still try those empty promises to mom and dad but I don't really recommend it. Stop making them feel awful for once. I don’t want to talk to you. Goodbye."
It was the first time a call was purposefully dropped on Junmyeon and if the purpose was to make him realize how awful of a person he was, then it could be rightfully called purposeful. He didn’t know he could still be funny even when it felt like his guts dropped to an impossible level of low, like towards his femurs, and he felt like reaching for the nearest bottle of anesthetic to drink―okay, he was no longer funny at this point and he needed to stop.
Being an awful person, he had no right to weep about it, but he was alone and aside from the conversation looping on his mind, he could do nothing but cry once he hid himself in his favorite room, away from anybody and anybody’s attempt on making him feel less awful.
#
The days following the telephone confrontation with his brother blurred into a mass of impossible time frames in his planner, fueled with the desire to temporarily forget, sleepless rests and skipped meals. His focus when on call did not wane and he had to give credit to himself for that, but his body gave out by the end of the week when he was struck down with a flu, coming back from his ‘storage room’ break feeling feverish that he had to take a half-day leave from his duties.
Good thing he did not need to worry much about missing work since the following day was his rest day, but living alone sure had him running to the nearest supermarket to buy himself some over-the-counter medicines and supplements and also some food when he was supposed to be resting.
Grabbing boxes of medicines like he was on a rush sale without reading the labels as long as he was able to get one of each kind was all he could manage in his fevered daze. Thank god for the different colors on them it made everything a little bit easier and ensuring, he thought.
His basket was already half-full with items from the medicine aisle when he was able to make his way to the fruit and vegetable section. Funny how it was difficult to find the leeks in the verdant area when he was so sure of how it looked like.
"Dr. Kim?" A woman’s voice interrupted Junmyeon’s search and when he turned to look, he was met with a familiar, kind but this time worried(?) face, Junmyeon couldn’t really tell with the haze, but he knew that beautiful face; he could never go wrong because it was the face of the cardiologist who worked wonders with Dr. Kim Jongdae. The other Dr. Z from medicine. Though a little bit blurry.
"Hello, Dr. Zhang," he greeted with a bow and forced himself to smile though he knew it wouldn’t be visible with the mask he was wearing which was covering half of his face. He was bundled up, too, so he wondered how the cardiologist came to recognize him. Ah, must be due to his god-awful aura or something. But enough of wondering and unwanted self-pity because he had yet to put a name to the blurrier face [f*ck perspective] standing next to the beautiful blurry face and he actually had to hide his surprise when he recognized it. "And Dr. Kim Jongdae," he mumbled, and gave another bow.
"Those are a lot," Dr. Zhang commented, gesturing to Junmyeon’s basket. Sure was, he thought when his gaze fell on the ridiculous amount of boxes which made him seem like an over-the-counter, barely legal, drug dealer.
"Common flu, and just stocking up on meds," he fibbed, wishing the conversation would end soon because he could already feel the biting cold of the refrigerated section and he hadn’t found some leeks yet.
"Is it that bad?" Dr. Zhang asked, concern dripping from her sweet, melodious voice.
"No, not really," he grinned beside himself, trying to think of happy thoughts as his body felt like half was being roasted in the fiery pits of hell while half was chartering some Arctic territory.
"Would you like to join us for lunch?" offered the doctor.
‘Would you like to help me find the leeks?’ was what he was meaning to ask but Dr. Zhang Liyin was too nice for that. "I’m sorry, I need to be somewhere after this. And I believe I’ve found what I’ve been looking for. Leeks!" He forced a laugh and grabbed the nearest green-white thing on the shelf. "Thank you for the offer, Dr. Zhang but I’ll have to go ahead." He bowed and rushed towards the nearest counter to pay, hoping it was all some big hallucination due to his fever.
The next day, feeling a bit better, he whimpered in embarrassment as he realized that what he had grabbed in his haste he thought were leeks was actually a piece of radish.
Good thing he did not need to worry much about missing work since the following day was his rest day, but living alone sure had him running to the nearest supermarket to buy himself some over-the-counter medicines and supplements and also some food when he was supposed to be resting.
Grabbing boxes of medicines like he was on a rush sale without reading the labels as long as he was able to get one of each kind was all he could manage in his fevered daze. Thank god for the different colors on them it made everything a little bit easier and ensuring, he thought.
His basket was already half-full with items from the medicine aisle when he was able to make his way to the fruit and vegetable section. Funny how it was difficult to find the leeks in the verdant area when he was so sure of how it looked like.
"Dr. Kim?" A woman’s voice interrupted Junmyeon’s search and when he turned to look, he was met with a familiar, kind but this time worried(?) face, Junmyeon couldn’t really tell with the haze, but he knew that beautiful face; he could never go wrong because it was the face of the cardiologist who worked wonders with Dr. Kim Jongdae. The other Dr. Z from medicine. Though a little bit blurry.
"Hello, Dr. Zhang," he greeted with a bow and forced himself to smile though he knew it wouldn’t be visible with the mask he was wearing which was covering half of his face. He was bundled up, too, so he wondered how the cardiologist came to recognize him. Ah, must be due to his god-awful aura or something. But enough of wondering and unwanted self-pity because he had yet to put a name to the blurrier face [f*ck perspective] standing next to the beautiful blurry face and he actually had to hide his surprise when he recognized it. "And Dr. Kim Jongdae," he mumbled, and gave another bow.
"Those are a lot," Dr. Zhang commented, gesturing to Junmyeon’s basket. Sure was, he thought when his gaze fell on the ridiculous amount of boxes which made him seem like an over-the-counter, barely legal, drug dealer.
"Common flu, and just stocking up on meds," he fibbed, wishing the conversation would end soon because he could already feel the biting cold of the refrigerated section and he hadn’t found some leeks yet.
"Is it that bad?" Dr. Zhang asked, concern dripping from her sweet, melodious voice.
"No, not really," he grinned beside himself, trying to think of happy thoughts as his body felt like half was being roasted in the fiery pits of hell while half was chartering some Arctic territory.
"Would you like to join us for lunch?" offered the doctor.
‘Would you like to help me find the leeks?’ was what he was meaning to ask but Dr. Zhang Liyin was too nice for that. "I’m sorry, I need to be somewhere after this. And I believe I’ve found what I’ve been looking for. Leeks!" He forced a laugh and grabbed the nearest green-white thing on the shelf. "Thank you for the offer, Dr. Zhang but I’ll have to go ahead." He bowed and rushed towards the nearest counter to pay, hoping it was all some big hallucination due to his fever.
The next day, feeling a bit better, he whimpered in embarrassment as he realized that what he had grabbed in his haste he thought were leeks was actually a piece of radish.
#
The first day of the following week was started with a brief meeting regarding an oncoming operation headed by Dr. Kim Jongdae. Each team was asked to send a representative and Junmyeon was chosen to attend it.
With the intention to just take notes and pass it on to the team, it came as a surprise to him when his name was flashed on the screen, along with Dr. Kyungsoo’s and the other attendees’ to be working with the surgeon on a rather difficult procedure.
Dr. Kim Jongdae was obviously not pleased with the line-up. The slight curving of his fascinatingly straight brows and the almost disappearance of the curl of his lips were enough signs for Junmyeon to tell. Most likely the reason was his participation in the upcoming surgery. Not to mention his name was especially highlighted to be the first assistant. It was conceited of him to assume, but it had been fairly obvious in the past weeks that he was the doctor's least favorite person.
Getting his emotions interfere with his work would be unforgivable, though. He started spending his breaks walking down and up the emergency stairs, neatly tucking in his feelings in a nice pile with each step and by the time he went out of the door to prepare for surgery on the assigned day, he had already pressed the lid shut, locked it and threw the key somewhere difficult to reach.
"And that's a wrap," the assistant resident surgeon’s voice concluded the seven-hour ordeal in the operation theater as one of the other first-year residents from Dr. Zhang’s team, Dr. Kim Seokjin, finished the stitching.
"Dr. Jongdae, you promised you'd treat us to high-grade meat if we pull this off and we did," Dr. Kyungsoo reminded, but it was more like an announcement to Junmyeon who had no idea that there would be an after-party if the operation was a success. Maybe he missed it when it was discussed during the meeting. Or it was just a team-exclusive thing.
"Fine," Dr. Kim Jongdae mumbled in surrender, earning a few hushed victory hoots and hisses from the other people in the room, while Junmyeon busied himself helping the scrub nurse in silence instead.
Junmyeon was still able to do his rounds before clocking out at nine when Dr. Tao ambushed him on his way out of the lobby. "Hyung! I've been waiting for you!" The younger lilted as he smothered Junmyeon in tight hug.
"Do you need anything, Dr. Tao?"
"The rest went ahead to get the party started! Dr. Soo has already reserved us a seat there! We need to hurry!" the other doctor gushed as he pulled on Junmyeon’s arm. "The great Pterodactyl-mama is treating everybody to samgyupsal, remember?"
"Oh," Junmyeon managed to let out as if he had forgotten.
"And being the greatest assistant ever, you are expected to be there!"
He was not informed that he was actually expected there, and if he were to come and he’d get to see Dr. Jongdae wearing an expression like his appearance was unexpected, Junmyeon would have to be rude and walk-out of the place.
"I'm sorry but I have a dinner to catch as well." Junmyeon smiled sheepishly, catching Dr. Tao’s hands which fell in disappointment with the news and giving it a consoling squeeze. "I should have told you earlier so you didn't have to wait for me."
"No, hyung, it's okay! I should have asked earlier," the younger doctor shook his head. "But is it really―"
"Tao!" a voice interrupted, and the owner was none other than the host of the said meat party. Dr. Kim Jongdae was out of breath when he approached them, only looking at Dr. Tao as if Junmyeon wasn’t with them. "I ran back because I forgot something—Wait here—I'll just go get it," the doctor mumbled breathlessly and took off towards the elevator.
No need to second guess that the reason the assistant resident returned was to make sure Dr. Tao wouldn’t be bringing in some uninvited person to the celebration because that would definitely be awkward. Were these just presumptions? There was no need to guess the answer for this one as well.
"I need to get going. Sorry for the trouble, Dr. Tao. Enjoy heaps, okay?" Junmyeon gave the other’s arm a pat and headed outside, running non-stop until he reached the dorm and locked himself inside his room.
With the intention to just take notes and pass it on to the team, it came as a surprise to him when his name was flashed on the screen, along with Dr. Kyungsoo’s and the other attendees’ to be working with the surgeon on a rather difficult procedure.
Dr. Kim Jongdae was obviously not pleased with the line-up. The slight curving of his fascinatingly straight brows and the almost disappearance of the curl of his lips were enough signs for Junmyeon to tell. Most likely the reason was his participation in the upcoming surgery. Not to mention his name was especially highlighted to be the first assistant. It was conceited of him to assume, but it had been fairly obvious in the past weeks that he was the doctor's least favorite person.
Getting his emotions interfere with his work would be unforgivable, though. He started spending his breaks walking down and up the emergency stairs, neatly tucking in his feelings in a nice pile with each step and by the time he went out of the door to prepare for surgery on the assigned day, he had already pressed the lid shut, locked it and threw the key somewhere difficult to reach.
"And that's a wrap," the assistant resident surgeon’s voice concluded the seven-hour ordeal in the operation theater as one of the other first-year residents from Dr. Zhang’s team, Dr. Kim Seokjin, finished the stitching.
"Dr. Jongdae, you promised you'd treat us to high-grade meat if we pull this off and we did," Dr. Kyungsoo reminded, but it was more like an announcement to Junmyeon who had no idea that there would be an after-party if the operation was a success. Maybe he missed it when it was discussed during the meeting. Or it was just a team-exclusive thing.
"Fine," Dr. Kim Jongdae mumbled in surrender, earning a few hushed victory hoots and hisses from the other people in the room, while Junmyeon busied himself helping the scrub nurse in silence instead.
Junmyeon was still able to do his rounds before clocking out at nine when Dr. Tao ambushed him on his way out of the lobby. "Hyung! I've been waiting for you!" The younger lilted as he smothered Junmyeon in tight hug.
"Do you need anything, Dr. Tao?"
"The rest went ahead to get the party started! Dr. Soo has already reserved us a seat there! We need to hurry!" the other doctor gushed as he pulled on Junmyeon’s arm. "The great Pterodactyl-mama is treating everybody to samgyupsal, remember?"
"Oh," Junmyeon managed to let out as if he had forgotten.
"And being the greatest assistant ever, you are expected to be there!"
He was not informed that he was actually expected there, and if he were to come and he’d get to see Dr. Jongdae wearing an expression like his appearance was unexpected, Junmyeon would have to be rude and walk-out of the place.
"I'm sorry but I have a dinner to catch as well." Junmyeon smiled sheepishly, catching Dr. Tao’s hands which fell in disappointment with the news and giving it a consoling squeeze. "I should have told you earlier so you didn't have to wait for me."
"No, hyung, it's okay! I should have asked earlier," the younger doctor shook his head. "But is it really―"
"Tao!" a voice interrupted, and the owner was none other than the host of the said meat party. Dr. Kim Jongdae was out of breath when he approached them, only looking at Dr. Tao as if Junmyeon wasn’t with them. "I ran back because I forgot something—Wait here—I'll just go get it," the doctor mumbled breathlessly and took off towards the elevator.
No need to second guess that the reason the assistant resident returned was to make sure Dr. Tao wouldn’t be bringing in some uninvited person to the celebration because that would definitely be awkward. Were these just presumptions? There was no need to guess the answer for this one as well.
"I need to get going. Sorry for the trouble, Dr. Tao. Enjoy heaps, okay?" Junmyeon gave the other’s arm a pat and headed outside, running non-stop until he reached the dorm and locked himself inside his room.
#
People were still hungover with the party on the following day, with stories of who snogged who or who got the dancer of the night award drifting around the wards the whole morning. Upon clarification on which these circulating stories were true during the sandwich club meeting-slash-lunch-break, it was Dr. Zhang (the neurosurgeon) who kissed Dr. Park; because for some bizarre reason, the Lee twins had both gotten the King sticks and being fans of a certain anime series involving a girl, her flying stuffed animal pet and lots of magical cards, they ordered the two assistant residents, each reminding them of certain characters, to smooch as an ode to the canon bromance in the series. Crazier fact, Dr. Minseok got the dancer of the night award, with his ‘sinful body rolls’ as described by Dr. Tao. Also Dr. Kyungsoo sang a song on stage which had the whole place in standing ovation when it was over [it was a Justin Bieber song] and all the more celebration when some of the nurses and Dr. Jongin were sputtering drunken confessions to the wide-eyed first-year when it was their turn on stage. Too bad Junmyeon wasn’t there to see it all, but he was glad to know that everyone had a lot of fun in what could be considered a wild night.
"Why weren't you in the party, huh?" Dr. Jonghyun asked, wrapping an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder, when he caught him dropping by the cardiothoracic department to deliver some reports. "Dr. Huang said you have a date so you couldn’t make it. Is it true?"
Junmyeon nodded, because watching Mulan on Disney Channel and crying his heart out over a bowl of take-away mapo tofu and rice when The Emperor acknowledged Mulan’s heroic deed could be considered a date. With himself.
"A keeper?" Dr. Jonghyun continued to pry.
"Definitely," he answered. Someone who would bring honor to China. And meant to be with Shang.
"Damn," the older sighed. "Hey Junmyeonie, if I were to have a younger sibling who is not a menace like Jongdae, would you want to be my brother-in-law?"
Funny question, but something which took Junmyeon a while to think of an answer to. I’ve only ever liked Dr. Kim Jongdae to some degree but only to a point where I wanted to befriend him. And even if Mulan were to be your younger sister, I’m sorry to say that I wouldn’t want to marry her for the sole reason that I don’t think I can marry anybody because I don’t do l―
“Hyung,” came the voice from their back which had them both jumping.
Junmyeon was sure then that he didn’t do love because the mere sight of the doctor only made him feel like his organs were hollowing out. Love shouldn’t hurt like this. It shouldn’t be heavy like his chest would give out. It shouldn’t be grating like he was being scratched from the inside. It shouldn’t be painful like this.
“What is it Dr. Kim Jongdae?” Dr. Jonghyun asked as the arm constricting Junmyeon earlier relaxed.
Taking the chance to exit, Junmyeon nodding and muttering a hasty, "I’ll go ahead," to his team lead and left the two to talk.
Just as much as Junmyeon was steering clear and away from Dr. Kim Jongdae’s way, his luck when it came to chancing upon the assistant resident seemed to had not run out.
Maybe it was because of the new schedules which had Junmyeon sharing the same break with Dr. Kim Jongdae, but it appeared that the assistant resident preferred the sandwich club’s favorite bench as well, the one near the vending machine. The first time the doctor approached them, Junmyeon excused himself while in the middle of a conversation with Dr. Kyungsoo, bowing to the direction of Dr. Kim Jongdae and scampered away before the guy could get any closer and imply for him to leave. He had not returned to the hangout since then, preferring to visit the other ‘members of the club’ personally on random times where he’d less likely to bump to a certain surgeon.
The most effective way of avoiding a person, he had eventually come to learn, was to actually do more work. With all of his focus on the current task, he was actually able to tune out the rest, making him oblivious to Dr. Kim Jongdae’s presence even if it meant having to work side-by-side with the guy in the operating theater. They talked during the few occasions they were assigned together on a procedure, but most of the time it only involved, ‘do this’ or ‘hold that’, ‘cut this’ or ‘close that’ and nothing more.
With more tasks for him to mind, he returned to spending his breaks getting as much sleep as he could in the storage room, still not revealing his secret hideout to either Dr. Tao or Dr. Kyungsoo. The genitourinary ward staff were his allies, and being one of their favorite first-years [he had volunteered to help out the department a couple of times now], Junmyeon got to enjoy some perks and privileges his other batchmates couldn’t. Take for example the not-so-exclusive ‘break room’ for him to use.
Junmyeon was used to waking up from the incessant buzzing of his hospital phone, so it was a great surprise when he woke up to light taps on his arm and the first person he saw when his eyes focused was Dr. Kim Jongdae. The assistant resident was looking down to him, face barely readable, then Junmyeon finally noticed Dr. Tao, the one who was actually waking him up.
"I’m sorry," he gasped while he sat up in an instant, combing his hair to settle down with his hand. The two might have been looking for him because he forgot that they have a procedure, or a meeting, maybe. Junmyeon always made it a point to double-check his planner, but missing a sched once in a long while was unavoidable. "Okay, I’m ready."
"Relax, hyung. I was just looking for you since I heard from the nurses that you haven't eaten yet," Tao explained. "Let's go grab something since it's my break? Dr. Soo and Dr. Jongin are waiting at the cafeteria."
Oh, so he was not going to be scolded for sleeping. But Dr. Kim Jongdae? Junmyeon would be joining them? With Dr. Kim Jongdae? What?
"Oh, I think it's—" Impossible? No? Because the assistant doctor didn’t seem pleased? "It's not the right time, Dr. Tao. I mean—" I appreciate it but I’d rather not. "Yeah, Dr. Lee needs me somewhere now. Maybe next time? Thanks for the offer, though. Dr. Tao, Dr. Kim Jongdae," he said, bowing, as he hopped off the bed from the other side and checked his phone, hoping for some messages. He gave another bow as he opened the door to head out, and when he had carefully closed it, he ran-walked towards the opposite wing, turning to a corner towards another secluded area, and spent his remaining breaktime sitting on the floor thinking.
"Why weren't you in the party, huh?" Dr. Jonghyun asked, wrapping an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder, when he caught him dropping by the cardiothoracic department to deliver some reports. "Dr. Huang said you have a date so you couldn’t make it. Is it true?"
Junmyeon nodded, because watching Mulan on Disney Channel and crying his heart out over a bowl of take-away mapo tofu and rice when The Emperor acknowledged Mulan’s heroic deed could be considered a date. With himself.
"A keeper?" Dr. Jonghyun continued to pry.
"Definitely," he answered. Someone who would bring honor to China. And meant to be with Shang.
"Damn," the older sighed. "Hey Junmyeonie, if I were to have a younger sibling who is not a menace like Jongdae, would you want to be my brother-in-law?"
Funny question, but something which took Junmyeon a while to think of an answer to. I’ve only ever liked Dr. Kim Jongdae to some degree but only to a point where I wanted to befriend him. And even if Mulan were to be your younger sister, I’m sorry to say that I wouldn’t want to marry her for the sole reason that I don’t think I can marry anybody because I don’t do l―
“Hyung,” came the voice from their back which had them both jumping.
Junmyeon was sure then that he didn’t do love because the mere sight of the doctor only made him feel like his organs were hollowing out. Love shouldn’t hurt like this. It shouldn’t be heavy like his chest would give out. It shouldn’t be grating like he was being scratched from the inside. It shouldn’t be painful like this.
“What is it Dr. Kim Jongdae?” Dr. Jonghyun asked as the arm constricting Junmyeon earlier relaxed.
Taking the chance to exit, Junmyeon nodding and muttering a hasty, "I’ll go ahead," to his team lead and left the two to talk.
Just as much as Junmyeon was steering clear and away from Dr. Kim Jongdae’s way, his luck when it came to chancing upon the assistant resident seemed to had not run out.
Maybe it was because of the new schedules which had Junmyeon sharing the same break with Dr. Kim Jongdae, but it appeared that the assistant resident preferred the sandwich club’s favorite bench as well, the one near the vending machine. The first time the doctor approached them, Junmyeon excused himself while in the middle of a conversation with Dr. Kyungsoo, bowing to the direction of Dr. Kim Jongdae and scampered away before the guy could get any closer and imply for him to leave. He had not returned to the hangout since then, preferring to visit the other ‘members of the club’ personally on random times where he’d less likely to bump to a certain surgeon.
The most effective way of avoiding a person, he had eventually come to learn, was to actually do more work. With all of his focus on the current task, he was actually able to tune out the rest, making him oblivious to Dr. Kim Jongdae’s presence even if it meant having to work side-by-side with the guy in the operating theater. They talked during the few occasions they were assigned together on a procedure, but most of the time it only involved, ‘do this’ or ‘hold that’, ‘cut this’ or ‘close that’ and nothing more.
With more tasks for him to mind, he returned to spending his breaks getting as much sleep as he could in the storage room, still not revealing his secret hideout to either Dr. Tao or Dr. Kyungsoo. The genitourinary ward staff were his allies, and being one of their favorite first-years [he had volunteered to help out the department a couple of times now], Junmyeon got to enjoy some perks and privileges his other batchmates couldn’t. Take for example the not-so-exclusive ‘break room’ for him to use.
Junmyeon was used to waking up from the incessant buzzing of his hospital phone, so it was a great surprise when he woke up to light taps on his arm and the first person he saw when his eyes focused was Dr. Kim Jongdae. The assistant resident was looking down to him, face barely readable, then Junmyeon finally noticed Dr. Tao, the one who was actually waking him up.
"I’m sorry," he gasped while he sat up in an instant, combing his hair to settle down with his hand. The two might have been looking for him because he forgot that they have a procedure, or a meeting, maybe. Junmyeon always made it a point to double-check his planner, but missing a sched once in a long while was unavoidable. "Okay, I’m ready."
"Relax, hyung. I was just looking for you since I heard from the nurses that you haven't eaten yet," Tao explained. "Let's go grab something since it's my break? Dr. Soo and Dr. Jongin are waiting at the cafeteria."
Oh, so he was not going to be scolded for sleeping. But Dr. Kim Jongdae? Junmyeon would be joining them? With Dr. Kim Jongdae? What?
"Oh, I think it's—" Impossible? No? Because the assistant doctor didn’t seem pleased? "It's not the right time, Dr. Tao. I mean—" I appreciate it but I’d rather not. "Yeah, Dr. Lee needs me somewhere now. Maybe next time? Thanks for the offer, though. Dr. Tao, Dr. Kim Jongdae," he said, bowing, as he hopped off the bed from the other side and checked his phone, hoping for some messages. He gave another bow as he opened the door to head out, and when he had carefully closed it, he ran-walked towards the opposite wing, turning to a corner towards another secluded area, and spent his remaining breaktime sitting on the floor thinking.
#
It would still be a good two weeks away but Junmyeon had already filed a leave from the 28th of December until the first week of January so he could spend the holidays with his parents and younger brother. As soon as it was approved, he called his mother to tell her about it. Minho was still evading any topic about him at home, he learned when he asked his mother how the younger was doing and he promised to talk to them about a lot of things once he came back.
“The usual?” Dr. Kyungsoo asked as he received a warm can of coffee from Junmyeon.
“The final,” he said, smiling.
“Are you giving up...?”
Junmyeon shrugged and gave the other a pursed smile. He had come up with a better plan. “I'll treat each of the sandwich club members to a smaller can of drink starting tomorrow, instead.”
“How about you just tell him about the usual?”
“Nothing of that happening. Let us just keep this little secret to ourselves, okay?” He patted Dr. Kyungsoo’s arm and walked away from the guy, towards the nurses’ station.
“I'm starting to doubt whether you're just too nice or too stupid, hyung. Making all your efforts to nothing!” the younger doctor called after him.
“It wasn’t really for nothing. I actually gained a great friend in the process," he admitted, turning back and smiling towards the big-eyed resident. "See you at the E.R. after the break, Kyungsoo!”
The small quirk of his lips turned to an all-out amused grin when Kyungsoo’s cheeks stained red, the other’s ‘You better call me that from now on!’ trailing after Junmyeon, as his laughter lingered in the hallway.
“The usual?” Dr. Kyungsoo asked as he received a warm can of coffee from Junmyeon.
“The final,” he said, smiling.
“Are you giving up...?”
Junmyeon shrugged and gave the other a pursed smile. He had come up with a better plan. “I'll treat each of the sandwich club members to a smaller can of drink starting tomorrow, instead.”
“How about you just tell him about the usual?”
“Nothing of that happening. Let us just keep this little secret to ourselves, okay?” He patted Dr. Kyungsoo’s arm and walked away from the guy, towards the nurses’ station.
“I'm starting to doubt whether you're just too nice or too stupid, hyung. Making all your efforts to nothing!” the younger doctor called after him.
“It wasn’t really for nothing. I actually gained a great friend in the process," he admitted, turning back and smiling towards the big-eyed resident. "See you at the E.R. after the break, Kyungsoo!”
The small quirk of his lips turned to an all-out amused grin when Kyungsoo’s cheeks stained red, the other’s ‘You better call me that from now on!’ trailing after Junmyeon, as his laughter lingered in the hallway.
#
The emergency room was hectic. Junmyeon had just finished stitching a teenager's busted forehead due to a skateboarding mishap. Kids these days should really engage in safer sports. Taking his gloves off and leaving it on the tray with the rest of the bloodied cotton balls, he gently patted the kid's knee, smiled at him and his worried mom and turned to the nurse to give instructions.
The next bed looked really busy with another guy who was rushed in after getting involved in a scuffle. Multiple stab wounds and blood pressure was declining. Junmyeon used to wonder what these people had done to get such injuries. Most especially for those cases which weren't just accidents. But he no longer bothered himself with it. It was never his business. What he just needed to do was save as many lives as could.
Dr. Seo, one of his teammates, was in charge of the next bed and was in the middle of resuscitating the person when the patient's hand slipped. It was just a split second moment, when Junmyeon didn't hesitate to reach out to tuck the man's hand back and in the next second it felt like his heart imploded and he was falling to the floor.
Then there was darkness.
There was no flashing of memories or the light at the end of the tunnel thing like in the movies.
In an instant, he just knew it was over.
Hopefully he'd have better luck in the next lifetime.
The next bed looked really busy with another guy who was rushed in after getting involved in a scuffle. Multiple stab wounds and blood pressure was declining. Junmyeon used to wonder what these people had done to get such injuries. Most especially for those cases which weren't just accidents. But he no longer bothered himself with it. It was never his business. What he just needed to do was save as many lives as could.
Dr. Seo, one of his teammates, was in charge of the next bed and was in the middle of resuscitating the person when the patient's hand slipped. It was just a split second moment, when Junmyeon didn't hesitate to reach out to tuck the man's hand back and in the next second it felt like his heart imploded and he was falling to the floor.
Then there was darkness.
There was no flashing of memories or the light at the end of the tunnel thing like in the movies.
In an instant, he just knew it was over.
Hopefully he'd have better luck in the next lifetime.
#
Junmyeon stepped up from his line after a kid before him had gotten their ice cream. Clutching the coins with his pudgy four-year old hands his mother gave him to buy a scoop, he shyly answered 'apple mint' when the vendor asked him his order. He felt like a grown-up now that he could finally buy himself an ice cream. He still needed to be careful though, as he knew he tended to be clumsy and ruining his most favorite blue and white striped shirt would make him really sad. Not to mention, his mom getting upset. After receiving a smile from the ice-cream uncle with his order, he carefully turned and walked to where his mother was waiting.
The ice cream is round and green and it made Junmyeon happy. He was telling himself to share with his mom on his way so he chose to stare at it for now. Then he heard a sniffle. It made him stop. And there, just a few feet away from him, was the kid who was queuing before him earlier. There was no longer the toothless smile on the other's face as the ice cream the boy had gotten earlier met its demise on the sidewalk. The kid also scraped his knee, but Junmyeon was guessing that more than the booboo, it was more on the death of the ice cream that made the other boy cry.
Coming closer, the kid noticed him and tried to contain his sobs.
“I can give you my ice cream,” Junmyeon offered shyly.
Tears pooled on the boy's eyes again.
“Are you okay with apple mint?” he carefully asked.
Junmyeon was glad that the boy nodded. He offered his hand for the other to stand up and handed his cone while Junmyeon patted the kid’s head. Pats always calmed him down, maybe it'd work for the other. Soon a small smile curved on the little boy’s lips while eating the ice cream and it made Junmyeon really really happy. But like any other meetings, theirs were cut short when their mothers got them, each pair going the opposite direction after having rushed apologies and thank-yous. Junmyeon was busy looking back to the boy who gave him a small wave that he didn't notice the thin, almost transparent thread on his little finger turned a light shade of pink.
He hoped he could meet the boy again and maybe become friends with him.
The ice cream is round and green and it made Junmyeon happy. He was telling himself to share with his mom on his way so he chose to stare at it for now. Then he heard a sniffle. It made him stop. And there, just a few feet away from him, was the kid who was queuing before him earlier. There was no longer the toothless smile on the other's face as the ice cream the boy had gotten earlier met its demise on the sidewalk. The kid also scraped his knee, but Junmyeon was guessing that more than the booboo, it was more on the death of the ice cream that made the other boy cry.
Coming closer, the kid noticed him and tried to contain his sobs.
“I can give you my ice cream,” Junmyeon offered shyly.
Tears pooled on the boy's eyes again.
“Are you okay with apple mint?” he carefully asked.
Junmyeon was glad that the boy nodded. He offered his hand for the other to stand up and handed his cone while Junmyeon patted the kid’s head. Pats always calmed him down, maybe it'd work for the other. Soon a small smile curved on the little boy’s lips while eating the ice cream and it made Junmyeon really really happy. But like any other meetings, theirs were cut short when their mothers got them, each pair going the opposite direction after having rushed apologies and thank-yous. Junmyeon was busy looking back to the boy who gave him a small wave that he didn't notice the thin, almost transparent thread on his little finger turned a light shade of pink.
He hoped he could meet the boy again and maybe become friends with him.
# # # # # # # # # #