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chenpionships2015-09-06 07:29 am
lordchen) wrote in chenpionships2015-09-06 07:29 am
#321: i want (a whole new world) with you
Prompt claimed: #321
Title: i want (a whole new world) with you
Pairing: Jongdae/Junmyeon
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 10075
Summary: meet jongdae: lowkey irresponsible student who likes to get drunk and watch disney movies. meet junmyeon: responsible ra who’s sometimes scared to be brave.
Author's note: dear prompter, I changed the prompt slightly and I hope that’s okay with you and that you enjoy it. dear reader, I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. to j, my best friend and beta, thank you for holding my hand when i decided to dip my feet into the ocean that is kpop; you mean the world to me.
It’s just not fair.
It’s Friday night, and Friday nights are supposed to be Baekhyun and Jongdae Bonding Nights, when they occasionally getvery drunk in their room and either watch a series of movies or have Really Meaningful Conversations until four in the morning. Friday nights are sacred.
“Dae, I’m really sorry but you know Tao has a test next week that’s really important and I’m helping him study for it,” Jongdae repeats his best friend’s words to himself in a high-pitched voice, rolling his eyes. That’s what Baek’s been doing every night for the past two weeks. Couldn’t his precious Tao deal with studying alone for one night? Missing one Friday night was ridiculous enough, but two was just plain rude.
Jongdae needs to find some universal Best Friend Contract to show Baekhyun just how many clauses of it he’s violating by abandoning him on Bonding Night in favour of helping his boyfriend study. God knows Baekhyun is never even helpful, and is probably more of a hindrance to the Chemistry major. Tao’s probably just too nice to tell Baekhyun to fuck off, Jongdae reasons.
He grabs one of the flasks in their mini fridge that’s labelled “MINERAL WATER” because they’re technically not allowed to keep alcohol in their dorms, or something like that. But the day Jongdae and Baekhyun actually listen to the rules will be the day he’s crazy enough to perm his hair or something along those lines, and their RA is like, God’s gift to them because he’s never ratted them out on the alcohol thing.
Their RA goes by the name Kim Junmyeon and Kim Junmyeon is perfect. No one can fight Jongdae on this.
There was this one Friday night the pair had decided to play football in the hallway outside their dorm, drunk and loud. They still don’t know if someone had complained about them or if Junmyeon had heard them, but all he did was take the ball away from a pouting Baekhyun, lead them to their room, and put them to bed. When they woke up, there were two glasses of water and a whole strip of painkillers sitting on the desk in their room. All of the other students living on their floor probably hate them, for good reason, which is why Jongdae knows for a fact that the medicine was courtesy of Junmyeon.
His evidence for his claim is undeniable and therefore, his claim has to be true. Junmyeon is perfect.
It’s 11pm, and Jongdae decides to put on Tangled, just because he can, and it’s Baekhyun’s fault that he’s missing out on one of the best movies ever created. Besides, the night is still young and if Baekhyun decides to come back, Jongdae might be gracious enough to let the traitor join him in watching the sing-along version of Mulan that he bought two years ago because he couldn’t just leave the DVD on the shelf. What if it was sold to someone who thought Mushu was a lizard??
Jongdae prides himself on the fact that he managed to prevent such an offending occurrence from happening.
Eighty minutes later, the flask is significantly emptier than when Jongdae took it out of the fridge, and he’s clutching his blanket to his chin as he whispers, “you were my new dream” along with Eugene. He is most definitely not crying. Nope. He tries to ignore the fact that if Baekhyun was here, he would be replying with “and you were mine” and they would both have each other to cuddle with.
Traitor.
Baekhyun still isn’t back when the end credits start rolling, and Jongdae’s too upset to wait for his so-called best friend, so he puts on Mulan and grabs the now-empty flask, because it’s a sing-along and he needs a microphone. He decides to help himself to the second flask from the fridge, because Baekhyun doesn’t deserve it at all, and plus, he’s still slightly bitter about the fact that Baekhyun isn’t here. Meaning: he hasn’t drunk quite enough.
He’s only slightly drunk when he’s singing along to “Honour to Us All” at the top of his voice, and honestly, he really can’t care less if anyone else on his floor can hear him. They should be grateful they get to enjoy a solo from him because his voice is amazing. Plus, it’s a Friday night; no one in their right mind should be studying. Of course he doesn’t have anyone specific in mind, Huang Zitao.
By the time General Shang starts to sing, “Let’s get down to business”, Jongdae’s standing on his bed and making wild hand gestures as he sings along because he is allowing the Passionate Disney Enthusiast inside of him shine and okay, maybe he’s more than just slightly drunk. It’s not that surprising that he doesn’t hear the door to his room click open when he’s in the middle of belting out “TRANQUIL AS A FOREST BUT ON FIRE WITHIN”.
He’s rudely interrupted when the music comes to an abrupt stop.
“Have you no respect for the head of the Chinese army?” He yells loudly, shaking his fist at the intruder. It’s probably Baekhyun, and Baekhyun does not deserve nice Jongdae.
“It’s 2am.” The voice is alarmingly quiet, and definitely not Baekhyun’s. Jongdae tilts his head towards the door, and sees his favourite person on campus. Baekhyun no longer deserves that title since he pulled a Prince Hans and ditched Jongdae for Huang Zitao. That’s like Peter picking Wendy over the Lost Boys or something equally preposterous like that.
“Exactly, hyung, it’s 2am, it’s the perfect time to do whatever the hell you want,” Jongdae responds stubbornly, holding his hand out for the remote in Junmyeon’s grasp.
“Some people actually like sleeping.” Jongdae thinks Junmyeon’s trying to seem intimidating, but he’s wearing black-framed glasses instead of his usual contacts and his sleepy blinking is doing nothing to help the frown he’s trying to keep on his face.
“Sleep is for the weak.” He giggles happily, and sits down on the bed with a thump. “You should join me. Then we can sing the parts together!” He brightens at the prospect. He misses the alarmed look on Junmyeon’s face.
“Don’t you have your friend, that Byun Baekhyun? Is he not here?” Junmyeon sounds tired, and not because he’s sleepy, but as if the idea of Baekhyun actually wears him out. Jongdae frowns, because Junmyeon’s right, Baekhyun isn’t here. “Stay here,” he orders his RA, and promptly whips out his phone.
Baekhyun picks up on the second ring. “Jongdae-“
“Baek, why can’t you let me be a part of your world?” Jongdae half yells, half demands into his handheld device. “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty, I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore, you want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty! Why won’t you let me be a part of your world? Am I not enough for this friendship?” Jongdae pouts.
“Are you drunk?” Baekhyun asks, and he sounds as if he’s seconds away from laughing. Jongdae is not amused.
“What happened to Ohana, Byun Baekhyun?” Jongdae’s free arm is flailing as he speaks, and Junmyeon would laugh, but he’s more worried about the flask in Jongdae’s grip. If Jongdae breaks a window…
“Jongdae-ah, Taozi was planning on pulling an all-nighter, I told you this,” His best friend chides him gently. “You should go to sleep, it’s really late, Dae.”
Jongdae blinks and holds the phone away from his ear. There’s no way Baekhyun just said that. He thrusts the rectangular device in Junmyeon’s general direction. “I think we should report a kidnapping, hyung. That’s not Baekhyun.” Junmyeon looks at him warily, and sighs as Jongdae gestures again for him to answer the call.
Jongdae’s too intoxicated to hear the older boy mutter “crazy” under his breath, but he takes the phone from Jongdae anyway, because he’s responsible and he cares about everyone that he’s supervising.
“Hello?” He answers, apprehension colouring his greeting.
“- sorry Dae, but-“ The person on the line stops speaking abruptly, and Junmyeon questions why he even bothered trying to get Jongdae to stop singing. It would have taken less effort to try to just sleep through the noise. “Huh? Hyung, is that you?”
“Unfortunately so,” Junmyeon sighs and massages his forehead. Jongdae snatches the controller from him, and he takes the chance to shoot the younger an icy look.
“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking care of Jongdae tonight? I’m helping someone study, and Jongdae can get…how do I put this? Really reckless when he’s not sober.” The pot calling the kettle black, Junmyeon responds mentally, rolling his eyes.
Jongdae’s currently rewinding the song back to the beginning and he almost wants to cry. “Baekhyun, it’s 2 in the morning. Morning,” he repeats his earlier words, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel as if he has any real objection to the request, which maybe worries him a little.
“Hyung, don’t act like you would mind spending time with my Jongdae,” Baekhyun sounds too smug for his liking and he scoffs. “I’m only doing this because I’m in charge of ensuring no one dies on campus, Byun Baekhyun. Goodnight.”
“Good-“ Junmyeon cuts the line before the other can finish the greeting and when he holds the phone out to Jongdae, he finds the boy holding out a flask to him in return.
“What.”
“Sing with me, I can’t do the chorus and Shang’s parts all at the same time. Duh.” Jongdae looks at him as if the answer is obvious.
“But-”
“Please? Baekhyun won’t let me be a part of his stupid world, so I’m making my own and no one can tell us no. Or where to go, or-” The flask is being waved in front of his face, and Junmyeon takes it reluctantly. Obviously he’s only doing this because he can’t leave Jongdae alone. What if he hurts himself and Junmyeon gets into trouble for not being responsible enough??
Jongdae’s answering grin is almost blinding, and Junmyeon can’t help but let out a small smile. He glances at the flask in his hand and blinks. He’s actually doing this. Okay.
“I knew it.” Junmyeon looks up to find Jongdae still smiling at him. “I’ve always told Baek that you’re higher up on my List of Favourite People than he is.” A finger is pointed at him, and he stills momentarily, not really sure how to answer something like that. Jongdae pats the space on the bed next to him, where he’s made some sort of blanket nest, and gestures for the older to sit next to him. Junmyeon blinks.
“I don’t bite, I promise.” Jongdae says after Junmyeon doesn’t move, and lets out a laugh. Junmyeon recognises it almost immediately; Jongdae has the kind of laugh that you don’t forget easily, because of how genuine it sounds. It’s carefree, and if Junmyeon wants to be honest, it’s one of his favourite laughs. Not to be creepy or anything, he’s just…really observant, that’s all.
Junmyeon decides to take up Jongdae’s offer, because there’s no way he’s going to stand through a babysitting session at 2 in the morning.
Jongdae brightens up even more at the decision, and hits play on the remote. “Do you want to do Shang’s parts? Or do you prefer the chorus? Honestly I ‘m fine with either because I love the whole song.” He jabbers on excitedly, and Junmyeon still feels at a loss at what to do because he’s always only had to take care of Jongdae and Baekhyun after their Ridiculous Moments, he’s never had to actually deal with what happened during them.
“Ah you know what, it doesn’t matter, we can do them together, it’s more fun that way!” Jongdae’s either too drunk to realise that Junmyeon hasn’t actually said anything, or he’s really, really passionate about Mulan, and Junmyeon can’t tell which is the more probable answer.
He thinks it’s only slightly endearing.
It’s nearly 3:30am when they finish the movie, and Jongdae is barely awake, his head resting on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Junmyeon, on the other hand, is wide awake. He doesn’t know what to feel, because to say that watching Mulan with Kim Jongdae was an experience would be an understatement. Junmyeon doesn’t think he’ll ever forget this night.
Jongdae actually cried when the Emperor gave Mulan his crest and when China bowed to her, and he had turned to Junmyeon with tears in his eyes, “I feel like a proud father, are you seeing this right now? She saved them all.” And he had grabbed Junmyeon’s arm, shaking it wildly.
Junmyeon had responded with a laugh, nodding his head and petting the boy with his free hand.
Junmyeon sits in silence for five minutes, letting the end credits of the movie roll on, because he doesn’t have the heart to wake Jongdae up. He glances down at the boy asleep on his shoulder, and his heart gives a small lurch, because Jongdae asleep is, well, kind of maybe beautiful. His features are softer, his lips curling up only slightly at the corners, and Junmyeon finds himself staring for a while.
He shakes his head, frowning only slightly. He’s here in Jongdae’s trust. He can’t take advantage of that. “Get it together, Junmyeon.” He mutters under his breath and gives a sigh of reluctance. “Jongdae.” He tries to shake the younger gently, but receives no response.
After a while, when it seems as though Jongdae isn’t going to wake up, he uses a hand to lift the head on his shoulder, hands brushing through the chestnut brown curls unintentionally, and gently rests Jongdae’s head on a pillow. He stands up and rearranges the blankets, tucking Jongdae in properly, something he’s done several times before, but this time indulges himself in a lingering gaze or two.
He picks up the forgotten flasks and sets them both on the study table, but opens one curiously to take a sniff. He rolls his eyes when he smells the alcohol.
In all honesty, Junmyeon could have just turned off the lights and left the room, because he wasn’t obligated to do anything else. Instead, he leaves the room for the communal kitchen that’s about a five-minute walk away, and digs through the medicine drawer, relieved when he finds the aspirin pills. He takes two and fills a glass of water, carrying them to Jongdae’s room. He sets them next to the empty flasks and allows himself one more look at Jongdae’s sleeping figure before switching the lights off and heading back to his room.
Junmyeon doesn’t get much sleep for the rest of the night.
Jongdae wakes up with a splitting headache but cosily warm, because the blanket around him is tucked in impeccably, and he’s curious for a moment. He winces when he sits up, but panics when he glances at the study desk and notices the pills and glass of water.
If that doesn’t spell J-u-n-m-y-e-o-n then Jongdae doesn’t know what does.
His eyes dart around the room quickly, trying to locate his phone. He finds it under the blanket near the foot of his bed, and anxiously unlocks it to dial Baekhyun’s number. He only remembers Baekhyun ditching him for Tao, and he remembers finishing Tangled, but he’s not quite sure what happened after that.
Baekhyun picks up after a while, and Jongdae nearly cries into the phone. “Please tell me you know what happened last night.”
There’s an answering groan on the other end of the line. “You woke me up at 10 on a Saturday morning to ask me what.”
“Please Baek, it’s a need to know case.”
There’s a pause. Then, Baekhyun sighs, “You don’t remember Junmyeon?” Baekhyun sounds tired, but there’s still a teasing edge to the question, and Jongdae gulps. Oh no.
“You let me stay up drunk,” he massages the bridge of his nose, “with Junmyeon??” He exhales loudly.
Baekhyun snorts at him on the other end of the line. “Yeah, why not? Maybe you finally conf-”
“Shut. Up. Byun. Baekhyun,” Jongdae growls, but his anger evaporates as he lies on the bed again and closes his eyes. “Oh my god, Baek, what if I said something? Or did something embarrassing? What if he thinks I’m a complete idiot?” Jongdae starts rambling as dozens of Horrible Scenarios play out in his head simultaneously.
“But you are an idiot.” The statement is said simply, and Jongdae feels like punching a wall, despite the pounding in his head.
“Jafar in Aladdin is an idiot, I’m not,” he mumbles into the receiver.
“Dae, what’s the worst that could have happened? Besides, I’m sure he didn’t mind spending time with you,” Jongdae can almost see the gleeful look on Baekhyun’s face. Making Fun Of Jongdae is Baekhun’s favourite hobby; Jongdae knows this.
“You’re saying useless things again. I’m disowning you. Goodbye,” Jongdae says dully, and ends the call with yet another groan. He flips himself around to yell into his pillow, and thrashes on the bed for five seconds. How come Baekhyun’s the one in a happy relationship while he isn’t? The world makes no sense.
Slowly, he removes the arm covering his eyes, and tries to sit up again, because his head really hurts, and he could do with the aspirin. His cheeks warm when he picks up the pills, and looks at them for a moment before swallowing them down in one gulp.
He considers sending Junmyeon flowers, then decides against it. That might be crossing some lines, and Jongdae definitely doesn’t want to risk that.
He sits in his bed for a while longer, hoping for his headache to clear. In the end, he settles on going out for an early lunch alone, since Baekhyun’s a pathetic excuse for a best friend and he doesn’t really feel like interacting with anyone else at the moment.
He buys an extra sandwich when he’s done, and walks back slowly to the dorm, contemplating if he should actually give it to Junmyeon. It would make sense, right? To thank him for the aspirin, and god only knows what else. It’s totally not an obvious move at all.
He bumps into Minho when he steps into the lift, and greets his senior cheerfully, knowing that Junmyeon and Minho are close friends. He’s met him once before, when he was at the library looking for a reference book, and Junmyeon had introduced the both of them.
“Minho-hyung, it’s nice to see you.”
“Same, Jongdae,” Minho shoots him a smile.
“Ah, are you here to see Junmyeon-hyung?” Jongdae asks politely.
“Yeah,” Minho’s forehead crumples. “I don’t really know what’s wrong, he asked me to come over, and he sounded as if he just woke up, and that was at noon.” Jongdae’s eyes widen, because everyone knows Junmyeon is a morning person. He’s the kind of person that wakes up at 6 to go for morning runs; it’s kind of ridiculous.
Jongdae immediately feels a flash of guilt, because it was probably his fault that Junmyeon’s in such a state. “Um, why don’t you give this to him?” He holds the sandwich out shyly, his mind going into overdrive as he tries to justify The Sandwich.
Minho arches an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Nah, it’s Baekhyun’s, but he texted me on my way back that he was grabbing lunch himself.” He manages to lie smoothly, and hastily adds, “Baekhyun’s my roommate.”
“Ah, the loud one.” Minho says knowingly, which, okay, is slightly strange. As far as Jongdae knows, the two have yet to meet. The lift dings when it reaches their floor, and Minho takes the offered sandwich. “Thanks for this, I’m sure Junmyeon will appreciate it.” He grins brightly at Jongdae. “I’ll see you around!” They step out of the lift, but go different directions, and Jongdae almost wants to dig a hole in the ground for himself.
That was terrible. And embarrassing. Jongdae has never felt this much like a teenaged schoolgirl his entire life.
This is all Baekhyun’s fault.
When he reaches his room, he quickly steps in and closes the door, and proceeds to hit his head repeatedly on said door.
“Why are you trying to kill off more brain cells than you can afford?” The question is laced with the brand of smug that only one person is obnoxious enough to have. Jongdae whips his head around to find Baekhyun and Tao sitting side by side on Baekhyun’s bed, sharing a pair of earphones and huddled over a laptop. It’s disgustingly endearing.
“Why are you here?” He asks dumbly.
“I told you, he only seems smart.” Baekhyun fake-whispers to Tao, and the latter lets out a laugh. Baekhyun stands carefully, and moves towards Jongdae, and feels his forehead.
“Dae, I know this might be a shock to you, but this is my room too, remember?”
Baekhyun is disgusting and Jongdae wishes his best friend was Kim Jongin instead, the talented dancer he met when he auditioned to join the dance club as a joke at the start of the year. Jongin had laughed at Jongdae for his messy hand-eye coordination, but offered to give him a helping hand, which was sweet.
“You’re disgusting.” Jongdae answers, brushing off Baekhyun’s hand and moves to slide into his own bed. “I don’t know how you’re dating him.” He says to Tao, and Tao shakes his head. “It’s tough love.”
“The both of you are horrible people, and I hate you,” Baekhyun says simply, and returns to his earlier position next to Tao. “We ordered pizza to share with you, that’s why we’re back. I figured I owe you,” Baekhyun adds, throwing his pillow at Jongdae.
“Damn right you do,” Jongdae shoots back, and is momentarily thankful he had a light lunch, because pizza beats a sandwich any day.
“So, how was Junmyeon?” Baekhyun asks after a while, and Jongdae answers by throwing Baekhyun’s pillow back at him. Tao laughs at the exchange, and Jongdae feels marginally better, because at least Tao knows how to laugh at Baekhyun’s pain.
Jongdae doesn’t see much of Junmyeon the next few days, which is actually fairly normal. See, it’s not like they’re actually friends or anything, but their relationship is more than just a casual hi-bye one; Jongdae still isn’t exactly sure how to classify it. So of course, he chooses to avoid the problem entirely.
On a Thursday two weeks after Disney Night With Junmyeon, Jongdae wakes up extremely nauseous, and when he sits up, he promptly throws up in the bin that’s conveniently placed in between his and Baekhyun’s beds.
It’s 7am.
His only class for the day starts at 3 in the afternoon and Jongdae always takes advantage of that to sleep in.
But it’s 7am, and he’s feeling completely horrible and wants to die.
“Baek,” He says, barely audibly, knowing that it was a fruitless attempt to wake his sleeping friend. He clears his throat and tries again, “Baek.” It comes out more like a strangled whisper than anything else.
Sighing, he grabs his phone and sets an alarm for 10 seconds, puts it at the loudest volume, and tosses his phone over to Baekhyun, the device landing softly on the duvet.
10 seconds later, the phone buzzes and “NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA” starts to play extremely loudly, and it only takes moments for Baekhyun to stir awake. “What the fuck,” He curses as he falls to the ground.
“What’s wrong with you?” He groans loudly, massaging his knee and turning off the alarm, throwing the phone at Jongdae.
“I’m not feeling well,” Jongdae answers hoarsely, and points at the bin. Baekhyun peeks into the container and immediately grimaces, but he gets up and walks the three steps over to Jongdae. “That’s gross,” he reaches up to touch Jongdae’s forehead with the back of his hand, and frowns. “You’re like, really hot.”
Jongdae finds the energy to give a small smirk. “Yeah, I know.”
Baekhyun sighs, but the “idiot” that he mutters under his breath comes out fond. He rummages through his bag to grab the water bottle in it and passes it to his best friend. “Drink some if you can, and lie down. I’m going to look for the nurse.”
It’s only ten minutes after Baekhyun leaves the room that Jongdae realises they don’t actually have a nurse. He falls back asleep soon enough, having no energy to actually think about Baekhyun’s nurse. Knowing Baekhyun, he’s probably gone off to get help from Tao, because Jongdae’s pretty sure Tao’s the only other person on campus who can stand Baekhyun.
He wakes up significantly later, because the room is casted in shadows, and when he checks his phone, he realises it’s 8 in the evening. He tries to sit up, but the room starts spinning and he lies back down, groaning. He throws an arm over his eyes, mentally willing the throbbing ache in his head to go away.
“Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, and he replies with a husky, “No, leave me alone, go away.”
A beat of silence, and he frowns, slowly uncovering his eyes. “Baekhyun, why do you sound like Jun-” He squints to look at “Baekhyun” and freezes when he sees the person sitting at their desk.
“Oh,” He says uselessly, and feels himself heating up. “Sorry, hyung,” he croaks out. “I didn’t um, expect to see you.” All this talking is hurting is throat, and he winces.
Junmyeon approaches him slowly, as if he was unsure of what to do. “Baekhyun wanted to stay, but he said he had to meet his older brother for dinner? He was worried you might need some looking after.” Jongdae vaguely remembers Baekhyun mentioning Baekbeom wanting to visit. “Oh yeah,” Jongdae replies dumbly, for lack of a better response.
“Uh, I brought you some soup, if you’re hungry?” Junmyeon asks, scratching his head. Despite the fact that Jongdae feels like death reincarnated, he manages to find the gesture utterly adorable.
He tries to sit up again, this time forcing himself to stay sitting up, because Junmyeon is here, and he doesn’t want to look more of a mess than he already is. Jongdae’s not starving per se, but Junmyeon brought him soup, and he knows that if he rejects it, he’s going to think of this moment twenty years later and hate himself for it.
“I am kinda, actually.” It’s only a half truth, and white lies can’t hurt anyone.
Junmyeon pours the portion of soup from a flask into a bowl, and Jongdae gives him a small smile as he accepts the bowl. “Thanks, hyung.” He ignores the jolt of warmth that runs through him when their hands brush as Junmyeon hands him the bowl.
There’s silence for a while, and if Jongdae wants to be honest, it is an awkward silence, made worse because Junmyeon looks incredibly uncomfortable. Jongdae feels his heart sink a little and he swallows. “Uh, hyung, I’m really sorry for having to disturb you. If you’re busy or anything, you don’t have to stay with me.” He lets out a nervous chuckle, but it comes out sounding weak.
“It’s not that,” Junmyeon rushes to answer, and if Jongdae wasn’t so tired he would have noticed the dusting of pink on the elder’s cheeks. “It’s just, er, I didn’t wantyoutobeleftaloneeither.” He mumbles the last few words, and Jongdae doesn’t catch them.
“I’m sorry?”
“Um.” Junmyeon laughs nervously. “You’re not troubling me at all, honestly.”
“Ah, I’m sure I’ll be f-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because he starts to cough violently, and he immediately covers his mouth with his hand.
Junmyeon takes the bowl away from Jongdae’s grasp, worried that it might spill and stain the sheets. He pats Jongadae on the back sympathetically, but frowns as he draws his hand away. “You’re really warm.”
Jongdae hates himself for missing the feel of Junmyeon’s hand on his back. The only reason why Junmyeon is here is because you’re sick and he’s a responsible person, he chides himself mentally. “I’ll be fine-”
“That’s what Minho says until he gets worse the next day,” Junmyeon gives a short laugh. “You really should take care of yourself.”
The words are simple, but Jongdae freezes, trying to convince himself that the note of sheer concern in them is something he only thought he heard. Shaking his head slightly, he looks at Junmyeon again.
“Hey, are you really busy?” He asks, anticipation colouring his question.
Junmyeon thinks about the 8000-word thesis paper he has yet to write, and gives Jongdae a smile. “Nah, not really.”
“Wanna watch a Disney movie with me?” Jongdae’s eyes are smiling, and Junmyeon doesn’t even know how it’s physically possible for someone to be able to look like that even when they’re ill.
That’s how they end up pressed next to each other on Jongdae’s bed, watching The Little Mermaid on Jongdae’s laptop.
“It kinda sucks, you know?” Jongdae murmurs to Junmyeon sleepily.
“Hm?”
“All that time, she was right there, but just because she couldn’t say anything, he didn’t know.” The words are mumbled, and Junmyeon has to strain his ears to listen, but he doesn’t miss the wistful tone they carry.
He’s suddenly hyper aware of how close they’re sitting together, and how Jongdae’s cold feet are pressing against his warm ones under the blanket. He swallows, and wills himself not to get distracted. “They get together in the end, don’t they?” He whispers back, but Jongdae doesn’t reply. Curious, he peeks at the other, only to find Jongdae’s eyes closed.
“Jongdae?” He asks softly, but the younger gives no response.
Junmyeon finishes watching the movie alone, partly because he doesn’t really want to move. In his defence, moving would disturb Jongdae, and the poor boy needed as much rest as he could get. It’s a weak argument, but it’s not like there’s anyone there to call him out on it.
He shuts the laptop down after the movie ends, and puts it away carefully. He looks at Jongdae again, and he’s hit with a moment of déjà vu. He remembers the last time this happened, and he sighs.
Jongdae is loud, energetic, confident in every way he isn’t. There’s no way Jongdae would notice him in that way. Plus, Junmyeon doesn’t even know if Jongdae is into guys. There’s just no point in trying to pursue one-sided feelings because that never ends well.
He gets up carefully, trying his best not to jostle the sleeping boy, and adjusts the blanket so that Jongdae will be more comfortable. He lingers, and slowly, unsurely, he reaches out to touch, his fingers tracing lightly across Jongdae’s jaw. The younger twitches, and Junmyeon immediately withdraws his hand. It’s trembling. Hastily, he grabs his bag from the swivel chair at the desk, and turns to leave the room.
He opens the door to walk out, only to walk straight into Baekhyun.
“Sorry, hyung!” Baekhyun reaches out to steady Junmyeon.
“Thanks, Baekhyun. By the way, Jongdae’s asleep. I think his fever went down.”
Baekhyun gives him a look that makes him shift uncomfortably. “You stayed for so long?” He asks finally, and Junmyeon feels his cheeks heating up. “Jongdae wanted to watch a movie, it just ended,” He says, trying to sound casual, and failing.
Baekhyun tilts his head to the side, biting his lower lip and gives Junmyeon another calculating look.
Junmyeon has never had to sit in front a panel of judges for anything, ever, but he assumes the feeling is similar to what he feels now.
A few seconds pass and the look on Baekhyun’s face vanishes. It’s replaced with a bright smile, and he moves to the side to allow the elder to pass. “Goodnight, hyung, thanks for helping me babysit the burden.”
Junmyeon returns the greeting, and walks back to his room, choosing to ignore the jittery feeling in his stomach.
Two days later, Junmyeon receives a submission in the suggestion box hanging outside his door. It’s there in case the residential students have any questions or requests for him, and it’s surprising because Junmyeon doesn’t get many of those. The last time he found anything in the box was two months ago, and it was just Minho deciding to play a prank on him.
Warily, he unfolds the slip of paper, and reads the note.
Name: ur friend
Room number: wouldnt u like to know
Urgency of enquiry:Not at all | Quite | Extremely!!!!!
Enquiry: !!!!!!!! the flower that blooms in adversity is the most RARE and BEAUTIFUL of all !!!!!!!!!! so pls look carefully PLS
Junmyeon folds the piece of paper slowly, and slides it into his pocket. He looks around, but there’s no one there, and he frowns. He recognises the quote; it’s from Mulan. He only knows this because he watched it with Jongdae that Friday night. It’s probably a joke again, and he’s going to kill Minho.
Sighing, he massages the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. He goes to class with a heavy feeling in his heart. It’s wistfulness, he realises, the comprehension settling slowly on him in the middle of his afternoon class. He knows the note was a joke, and yet, he wishes it wasn’t.
Sometimes it terrifies him that he’s occasionally envious of Baekhyun. It’s totally not because he’s Jongdae’s best friend, or that he lives with Jongdae, or anything like that.
He thinks about the two newly downloaded Disney soundtracks in his phone, and he sighs.
A week later, Junmyeon receives another anonymous note in his submission box.
Name: how long more do i have to play matchmaker i stg
Room number: surprise me and show up at mine
Urgency of enquiry:Not at all | Quite | Extremely Life or death situation!!!!
Enquiry: you dont meet a boy like that every dynasty ok
He folds the note carefully, trying to compose his features, and walks back straight into his room, to where Minho is lying on his own bed, with headphones over his head. Junmyeon yanks the piece out roughly, and holds the note out to Minho.
“What?” Minho shoots him a dirty look and eyes the sheet carefully, before reaching out to take it.
“If you’re going to keep leaving these in my box, I’m going to find a way to make sure you end up rooming with Kibum.” He says with a straight face.
“Oh no, I should be so scared,” Minho taunts as he unfolds the note. His eyebrows rise as he reads the notes, and laughs. “But I’m not the one writing these.” His eyes scan through the note again, rereading it. “Junmyeon, we’ve been friends for years, and you honestly think my handwriting looks like that?” He laughs again, and hands the note back to Junmyeon. “I think someone likes you.”
The statement is said coyly, and Minho wiggles his eyebrows at his friend.
Junmyeon takes the note back slowly. Okay, so it wasn’t Minho’s handwriting, but he could have easily bribed someone else to fill in the form. That’s a possibility Junmyeon can’t rule out, because Minho is capable of anything.
“How do I know you didn’t get someone to write this?” He narrows his eyes at his friend.
“Junmyeon-yah, why would I waste my time doing that? I already waste enough of it telling you to shut up about Kim Jongdae.” Minho teases, and his eyes widen in recognition.
“Give me the note.” He snatches it from Junmyeon, and reads it a third time. He looks up when he’s done. “…isn’t this a quote from Mulan? Didn’t you two watch Mulan together?” Minho smirks, and pushes the slip of paper back into Junmyeon’s hands.
“I bet you ₩10,000 that it’s Jongdae. Or his noisy friend, Bacon?”
“Baekhyun.” Junmyeon corrects automatically, and scowls when Minho chuckles at him.
“Doesn’t matter, Jongdae’s the important one here.” Minho tilts his head to the right, and worries his bottom lip for a moment. “Are you going to ask Jongdae?” He leans back against his bed and eyes his friend.
“You know these things never work out for me, it’s just…not worth it.” Junmyeon trails off softly, and he concentrates on looking at his feet, instead of Minho. He hears the creak of Minho’s bed, and suddenly there're arms wrapped around him lightly.
“Jongdae’s not an asshole, J. I've met him, and for once… I don't think he’s wrong.” Minho ends quietly, and Junmyeon sighs.
Junmyeon knows the drill by now.
“It’s not you, it’s me, you know that right? You’re too good for me, I’m not responsible like you are, I forget the important dates…it’s just not going to work out. You have to know that.”
“I can't do this anymore, I’m sorry Jun. We’re just not right for each other. I’m sorry.”
“You know, when we first met, I thought you’d be, I don't know, a lot cooler. It’s been three months, and I don't know any other way to put this, but I’m getting bored, Junmyeon. Let's break up.”
He remembers every end clear as crystal. Every single time, Minho was there to pick up the pieces. Junmyeon owes him a lifetime and more.
He’s learnt from his lessons. It’s not going to work out the way he wants it to, because it never does.
“I know you don't believe me,” Minho says gently, when he pulls away from the hug and holds his best friend at arm’s length. “You have that look in your eyes, I know.” He chuckles when Junmyeon tries to protest.
“Jongdae isn't someone you met at a random club, neither is he six years older than you. He doesn't seem to have anger issues, and you’ve known him for what, nearly a year now? He’s not your usual brand of dick, I would know.”
Minho pats him on his back. “Think about it, J. Don't throw a good thing away, okay?”
Junmyeon feels moisture in his eyes, and rubs at them with the back of his hand. “Yeah,” he says thickly. “I’ll think about it. Thanks.”
Junmyeon spends the next two weeks arguing with himself. He even makes a list.
Why you should ask him:
It’ll add to your happiness
It might add to his happiness?
It’s been six months, and the only reason why you haven't is because you're scared
He has a really nice jawline
You’re kind of maybe in love with his personality (!!)
He actually treats you like you exist
He asked you to watch Disney with him (!!!)
He might actually say yes??
Why you shouldn't ask him:
He might break your heart
He might not even like boys
Even if he does, he might not even like you
What if he never lets you help him to bed ever again??
He might start ignoring you completely :(
He thinks about it a lot.
When Minho sees the list, he looks at Junmyeon and stares him in the eye. “J, just ask him, okay? You’ve got nothing to lose. Trust me on this.”
Junmyeon wishes he were brave enough to trust Minho.
It's 2am, and it's a Friday night. Junmyeon can't sleep. He’s been lying on his bed, scrolling through his Twitter feed on his phone, but not really reading the pixelated words on the screen.
He keeps getting distracted from reading the inane tweets from @lordchanyeol or @bunnyixing or @sexysehun, because he’s thinking about Kim Jongdae.
It's 2am, and Junmyeon thinks he’s going to finally ask Kim Jongdae out.
He sits up carefully, feels around for his glasses and locates his slippers in the dark, not wanting to wake Minho.
Five minutes later finds him outside Jongdae and Baekhyun’s room, completely petrified of what he’s going to do. He hears the two laughing loudly inside, and he swallows.
It seems like a lifetime before he’s able to raise his hand and knock.
Another lifetime passes before the door opens, and Baekyun peaks out from behind the door.
“Junmyeon-hyung?” He sounds uncertain, but his eyes are gleaming and Junmyeon feels like he’s going to throw up from nerves.
“Uh, is Jongdae here?” He forces himself to not stutter, but his question comes out soft.
Baekhyun’s answering smile is so bright it’s unsettling.
“He’s baking,” Baekhyun responds, and Tao’s face pops up behind Baekhyun’s. “Hi, hyung.”
“Baking?” This time the question is incredulous, and Junmyeon momentarily forgets why he’s nervous at all.
“Yep,” Baekhyun confirms, popping the ‘p’. “He couldn’t sleep.”
“Huh,” Junmyeon answers dumbly.
“You can find him in the kitchen,” Baekhyun adds helpfully. “Actually, maybe you can help make sure he doesn't burn the place down.”
Junmyeon thinks he might be dreaming. He probably is, and dream-Jongdae might actually burn the dorm down, which might be a sign that asking Jongdae out is a horrible idea.
Still, he nods and thanks Baekhyun, and returns Tao’s greeting before leaving the couple for the kitchen.
He smells the baking before he actually sees it, and he’s confused. He’s pretty sure Jongdae’s violating some sort of rule, but right now, he can't be bothered to care. Plus, he’s grown accustomed to closing both eyes to Jongdae’s frequent delinquent tendencies.
The sight that greets him makes him laugh. Jongdae’s mixing something in a large bowl, and Junmyeon thinks it's utterly endearing.
“Um.” He clears his throat and Jongdae jumps. Turning around, his eyes widen but he breaks into a grin when he sees the intruder. “Hyung!” He greets happily. “Why’re you here?”
Junmyeon wonders why too. He feels like giving a stupid excuse, because all of a sudden, he’s reminded why he took so long to even ask Jongdae out.
Jongdae’s spontaneous; he’s fun. That’s why he’s friends with Byun Baekhyun, one of the loudest and most charismatic people on campus, and that's why he’s baking at 2am in the morning. Junmyeon follows the rules, he’s organised and neat, he’s nothing like Jongdae.
“Um,” he feels his resolve crumbling by the second, and he knows he’s not confessing. Glancing around, he notices an empty glass sitting on the kitchen countertop, and says, “I was thirsty.”
It’s pretty lame.
Jongdae’s smile drops almost instantly, and Junmyeon feels horrible.
“Oh,” Jongdae says, his eyes dropping and he moves to the side, letting Junmyoen walk to the water dispenser.
Junmyeon stays silent as he grabs a glass, and walks over to the dispenser next to Jongdae. He fills the glass, and the only sound that punctuates the silence is the sound of water filling the glass. When it’s full, Junmyeon turns to leave, but a timid voice stops him.
“I don't believe you.”
Junmyeon stops in his tracks.
“Hyung, I don't believe you,” Jongdae gulps nervously, and Junmyeon turns to face him. “That can't be why you came,” Jongdae says, and it’s obvious he’s nervous too.
If Junmyeon wasn't so jittery, he would have laughed, because Jongdae is nervous. It makes no sense.
Maybe it's 2am and that's why nothing makes sense.
He still hasn't spoken, and Jongdae takes a step towards him. He’s rooted to the spot. His heart is racing and he thinks he might actually drop the glass he’s holding.
“Hyung,” Jongdae sounds like he’s actually pleading with him.
Junmyeon’s terrified, but fuck it, he decides. “You’re right,” he whispers.
“Then why?” Jongdae challenges, and he takes another step towards Junmyeon. The space between them is almost disappearing, and Junmyeon has never felt this afraid about a boy, ever. Because it's Jongdae, and Jongdae matters so, so much.
Junmyeon stares at Jongdae. It’s Jongdae, who’s friendly and kind and almost always happy. It’s Jongdae, who has an amazing voice and who isn’t afraid to be himself. It’s Jongdae, who knows how to let loose and have fun but who also knows when to be serious. It’s Jongdae, the boy he noticed from the moment he signed up as a RA.
It’s Jongdae, who he’s had a hopeless crush on for months.
He thinks he might throw up.
“Jongdae, I- Ilikeyou.” Junmyeon’s ears are on fire; he can literally feel them heating up, and he doesn’t dare to meet Jongdae’s gaze. He doesn’t know what to do with his free hand, and if he wasn’t carrying the glass, he knows he would have hugged himself, because he doesn’t feel safe. He feels completely bare, exposed.
It’s quiet for a while, too long, and Junmyeon feels his heart sink. He knew it. He should have never said anything, because now Jongdae’s going to hate him and he’s never going to want to see him again, and Junmyeon has just gone and ruined a good friends-
Jongdae startles him by taking the last step towards Junmyeon, and he takes the glass from him. Junmyeon still doesn’t dare to look at Jongdae. Junmyeon hears the glass being set on the table, and he’s surprised when Jongdae uses a finger to tilt his chin up gently so he’s actually looking at him.
Jongdae’s smiling so widely that the sides of his eyes are all crinkly and Junmyeon is confused. Jongdae shouldn’t be smiling, not when-
“Hyung, thank you for telling me that.”
Jongdae looks at him straight in the eye, and deliberately slowly, he leans in, so Junmyeon can back out if he wants to. Thing is, Junmyeon can’t do anything, because he’s frozen to the spot and his mind is in overdrive. This doesn’t make any sense at all.
Jongdae’s eyes flicker to Junmyeon’s lips just a second before he closes the gap between their mouths, and brushes his lips softly against Junmyeon’s. The older boy doesn’t know how to react.
Jongdae pulls away, but his eyes are still bright and he’s still looking at Junmyeon like Christmas came early.
“In case you didn’t already know, I kinda like you too,” he breathes, and lets out an airy laugh. Junmyeon is currently feeling too many emotions. He doesn’t know what to do, so he buries his face in the crook of Jongdae’s neck, and he feels arms wrap themselves around his frame.
Junmyeon’s so nervous he thinks he might throw up but he’s never felt this comfortable in a long time.
Jongdae’s laugh is loud and it’s comforting. It’s familiar, because Junmyeon always hears him laughing about something with Baekhyun. It’s nice.
“You know, hyung, I really didn’t know there was this side of you. You always seemed so…” Jongdae trails off, trying to find the right words. “Confident with everything you do.”
Junmyeon mumbles something into Jongdae’s neck, but the younger doesn’t catch the words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” He chuckles. Junmyeon lifts his head just slightly.
“You think I’m confident?” Junmyeon forgets himself for a moment and snorts.
“But you are,” Jongdae pouts, and Junmyeon wants to kiss it off his face. “You always know what to do, and you never freak out over anything-”
If only Jongdae knew what he and Minho talked about like 60% of the time, Junmyeon thinks wryly.
“And you’ve never lost your temper at me, or Baek-”
“Okay, okay,” Junmyeon laughs, and interrupts the boy. “I’ve never thought about it that way, is all,” he adds shyly.
They look at each other for a while, with Jongdae’s arms still around Junmyeon and it should be awkward, but it’s anything but.
“Hyung-”
“Jongdae-”
They both start at the same time, and bust into laughter.
“You first,” Junmyeon urges, and finds the nerve to put his arms around Jongdae’s neck.
“I was going to ask if I could kiss you again,” Jongdae says nonchalantly, and Junmyeon laughs again.
Instead of replying, he leans in, and this time, when their lips meet, Junmyeon’s no longer rooted to the spot. Junmyeon can taste sugar on Jongdae’s lips, and he nips at Jongdae’s bottom lip playfully, causing the younger to gasp in surprise. Jongdae’s hands have settled at Junmyeon’s waist, and his grip on him tightens slightly. Junmyeon opens his mouth in response when Jongdae’s tongue traces his lips, and all Junmyeon can think about is how right this feels. Their noses bump together, and the two start to giggle, and they pull away from the other when their giggles dissolve into laughter.
After they calm down, Jongdae rests his forehead against Junmyeon’s, and his thousand-watt smile is everything Junmyeon loves. “You’re a good kisser,” Jongdae compliments breathlessly.
“I’ve had practice,” Junmyeon replies cheekily, and he’s laughing again. He can’t help it; Jongdae’s been laughing all night, and Jongdae’s laughter is the worst kind of infectious. The expression on Jongdae’s face turns slightly sour though, and he reaches up to brush at Junmyeon’s fringe, moving it away from his eyes. “You’ve got me to practice with now, yeah?”
There’s a lump forming in Junmyeon’s throat, and instead of replying, he hugs Jongdae closer.
“Took you long enough,” Jongdae murmurs after a while.
“Hm?” Junmyeon can’t think about anything else other than Jongdae.
“You should ask Minho-hyung,” Jongdae says playfully, and Junmyeon groans. “What did he do?”
“There, there,” Jongdae says soothingly, and brushes their noses together; an eskimo kiss.
“How did you know, by the way?” Junmyeon’s suddenly curious.
“Know what?”
“That I was lying.”
“You always have bottles of water in your room,” Jongdae says simply, as if the answer was obvious. It is, but Jongdae doesn’t go to Junmyeon’s room.
“But-”
“CAN THE TWO OF YOU GET A ROOM??” Junmyeon turns around to face the intruder, refusing to let go of Jongdae. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about; because for once, he was brave enough to fight for something he really wanted.
Jongdae laughs again, and rolls his eyes as he turns back to Junmyeon. “Baek, leave us alone and go back to Tao.”
“Um, rude? I’m still waiting for my cupcakes,” Baekhyun sounds affronted, but the smile on his face says otherwise. Junmyeon’s surprised when he sees his best friend appear alongside Baekhyun, and he raises an eyebrow.
“I thought you were sleeping,” he accuses. “Junmyeon, you really think I’d miss this?” Minho gestures at the both of them. “I’ve been waiting for like, months.”
Junmyeon doesn’t miss the high five that Baekhun and Minho exchange, and he narrows his eyes at the pair.
“What’s going on?”
Jongdae’s arms tighten around him, and he looks at Jongdae. “They know each other?”
“I found out two weeks ago, don’t ask me because I don’t know how.” Jongdae shrugs his shoulders.
“You owe us, J, so can you step away from your boy and let him finish his cupcakes?” Minho teases and for the first time, Junmyeon blushes. His boy.
Jongdae rolls his eyes, but releases his hold of Junmyeon and opts to grab his hand instead, and pulls him over to the mixing bowl from earlier. “It’s a buttercream frosting,” he says to no one in particular.
When Jongdae’s finally done with the cupcakes, they end up eating sitting on the kitchen floor in a circle, because it’s nearly 3am and no one’s going to be as crazy as Jongdae.
“You two are disgusting,” Baekhyun comments as Jongdae feeds Junmyeon a bite of his cupcake. “You’re one to talk,” Jongdae sticks his tongue out at his friend. “You and Tao are worse than Instagram couples on Valentines’ day.” Tao shrugs, and cuddles closer to Baekhyun, who laughs in response and messes his hair.
Junmyeon doesn’t say anything, but grins as he pulls Jongdae closer with his arm around Jongdae’s waist.
Two weeks later finds Jongdae and Junmyeon huddled together under the same blanket in Junmyeon’s room, watching a movie on Junmyeon’s laptop. This time, Jongdae isn’t drunk, neither is he sick, and he’s head is resting on Junmyeon’s chest, with Junmyeon’s arm wrapped snugly around his waist.
They’re watching Aladdin, because Jongdae insists it’s a classic, and Junmyeon’s too far gone for the boy to even try to protest. Anyway, Junmyeon has grown to have a fondness for the Disney films, if he’s being honest.
“Don’t you think it’s stupid?” Jongdae squeezes Junmyeon’s hand as he murmurs the question.
“What is?”
“That Aladdin thinks he has to try so hard to be with her, when all she wanted was Aladdin, the boy she met on the streets. She didn’t need all the glitter and gold, she just wanted him for who he was.”
Junmyeon doesn’t answer for a while, and they watch in silence as Jasmine and Prince Ali start to duet “A Whole New World”.
“You know, I thought you’d never notice me,” Junmyeon muses, and Jongdae immediately presses pause and sits up. He looks straight at Junmyeon with that tinge of sadness in his eyes, and Junmyeon still doesn’t know why.
“You thought I’d never notice you?”
“Um… yeah?”
Jongdae shifts so that he’s siting up properly, and he pushes the laptop away gently, before taking both of Junmyeon’s hands in his.
“Junmyeon,” he starts softly, “Minho-hyung told me that you’d talk to me about this when you were comfortable enough. And, I mean, you can tell me to stop if it really makes you uncomfortable, and I’d never want to upset you. Did you know, I was kinda crushing on you for like, nearly five months before we got together?”
Jongdae is looking at him with a careful expression, and Junmyeon still doesn’t understand what’s going on.
“You…what?”
“Hyung, I liked you for five months before you confessed to me two weeks ago,” Jongdae says casually, as if he didn’t just tell Junmyeon something totally shocking only five seconds ago.
“I…don’t understand.”
“Minho-hyung approached me like, a month and a half back, asking me if I liked you.”
Junmyeon wants to curl up in embarrassment, but Jongdae tugs on his hands, and smiles at him reassuringly. “He said, and I quote, “No one buys food for their best friend and gives it away so easily. No one.” and he told me not to lie. I said yes, and he looked at me and told me if I ever intended on hurting you, I could fuck off to Tuvalu and plan on never coming back. To be honest, he kind of scared me a little, and then he asked me out for coffee one afternoon. I couldn’t say no, of course.
“Then he told me that he couldn’t tell me everything, but that you had a couple of really bad experiences, and that you weren’t very good at dealing with the whole relationship thing, which hey, I completely understand. I don’t know what happened, but he told me to be patient, and to give you time, and I believed him. He told me to let you confess, because he wants you to realise that you can have good things if you’re brave enough, and you know what, I agree with him. I think somewhere along they way, he got to know Baekhyun too.”
The entire time Jongdae is speaking, he observes Junmyeon to make sure he isn’t crossing any lines.
“I-” Junmyeon doesn’t really know what to say, and he swallows. “I did. Have a couple of bad relationships, I mean.”
Jongdae nods, and he waits.
“Um, I mean, I don’t know if you want to hear any of this?”
Jongdae looks at Junmyeon and nods. “Hyung, I care about you a lot, I want to hear anything you want to tell me, I really do.”
Junmyeon doesn’t know why, but he feels like crying and when he speaks again, his voice is thick.
“I mean, I suppose I’ve never had the best taste in men, I think,” Junmyeon laughs, but it’s bitter and Jongdae hates it. “I’d like to think I’m okay, that I’m stronger, that I’ve learnt something, but I don’t know. My last relationship was two years ago, and that one lasted three months. Actually, they all didn’t last very long,” he laughs again, and Jongdae hates everything about it. It sounds wrong.
“I don’t know, I think I lost the courage to really get into a relationship for a while, and Minho worried about me. I think. But he’s never tried to set me up, or anything like that. He’s a good friend.”
“He cares about you a lot, I’m glad you have him,” Jongdae offers his boyfriend a genuine smile.
“Me too. I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up without him to be honest. Then I met you, and I don’t know, I admired how you’re always cheerful, how you’re always so open and friendly, and I think at some point in time, I wished I could be like you. Carefree, not caring what anyone else thought about me.”
Jongdae interrupts him. “I’m not happy all the time, I mean. I have problems too, hyung, trust me. Baekhyun is the cause for half of them.”
They both chuckle, and the mood in the room lifts slightly.
“You get what I mean. I wished I could be more, sure of myself, more confident. I saw that in you. I didn’t think you even knew who I was, I’m not exactly one of the “cool” kids and I don’t have a high profile, I kinda just, do my own thing.”
“You know, you say all this stuff, but everyone in our dorm really appreciates having you as our RA. You don’t give us hell, you don’t abuse your authority, and you let us do our own thing like, all of the time. You don’t even report Baekhyun and me for keeping alcohol, and I don’t think you realise this, but every student who lives here knows who you are, trust me. Plus, do you honestly think I’m that shallow? I’m offended,” Jongdae jokes. “I don’t subscribe to social hierarchies, they’re too much drama.”
Junmyeon feels overwhelmed. “But I’m just… Junmyeon.”
“Exactly, you’re Junmyeon. And you’re so, so important and I wish you knew that.”
Junmyeon blushes. “You’re saying that because you’re my boyfriend.” He still doesn’t quite believe that he’s in a relationship with Kim Jongdae, because it’s Kim Jongdae.
“No. I’m saying this because it’s true. I hate that people in your past could hurt you so much, I hate that you had to go through things like that, and I hate that you don’t believe me sometimes when I say I care a lot about you. I hate that sometimes when I reach out, your first reaction is to flinch. But I don’t care, I’m going to be here until you finally believe me, and I’m going to be here when you’re confident again, and I’m going to be here for all that and after.”
Junmyeon tears up, and he’s at a complete loss.
“I’m not-I’m not all that. Really,” Junmyeon says earnestly, and Jongdae leans in closer. His eyes are fond, and his hand reaches out to curl around Junmyeon’s neck. “You’re right,” he whispers, soft and intense. “You’re not just all that. To me, you’re everything and more.”
He closes the distance between their lips and kisses Junmyeon hard. He can smell Junmyeon’s usual scent, a mixture of sweet apples and soap, which might sound strange, but it works on the older boy. They kiss slowly, because they don’t have to rush. When they pull away, Junmyeon’s panting slightly, but Jongdae leaves a trail of kisses down Junmyeon’s jaw, his neck, his arm and finally stops when he leaves kisses on all five of the fingertips on Junmyeon’s right hand.
He grins at Junmyeon. “I’m going to spoil you so much, and you’re going to realise that your previous relationships weren’t relationships at all.”
Junmyeon doesn’t know how he managed to get so lucky.
When Minho walkes into his and Junmyeon’s shared room three hours later, he notices the couple curled up in each other’s arms, fast asleep. “Shit. I thought Junmyeon was staying at Jongdae’s tonight,” he mutters to his companion.
Ki-bum lets out a burst of laughter. “Babe, I told you we should have slept over at mine. C’mon, let them have the room,” he tugs impatiently at their linked hands.
Minho pouts. “You room is like, a fifteen minute walk away from here.”
“Yeah, and my roommate’s away for the week, so we can do whatever we want,” Ki-bum says smugly, eyes twinkling.
“I hate you,” Minho says, but his lips are curling upwards, and he backs out of the room quietly, and shuts the door.
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
-Walt Disney
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Title: i want (a whole new world) with you
Pairing: Jongdae/Junmyeon
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 10075
Summary: meet jongdae: lowkey irresponsible student who likes to get drunk and watch disney movies. meet junmyeon: responsible ra who’s sometimes scared to be brave.
Author's note: dear prompter, I changed the prompt slightly and I hope that’s okay with you and that you enjoy it. dear reader, I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. to j, my best friend and beta, thank you for holding my hand when i decided to dip my feet into the ocean that is kpop; you mean the world to me.
It’s just not fair.
It’s Friday night, and Friday nights are supposed to be Baekhyun and Jongdae Bonding Nights, when they occasionally get
“Dae, I’m really sorry but you know Tao has a test next week that’s really important and I’m helping him study for it,” Jongdae repeats his best friend’s words to himself in a high-pitched voice, rolling his eyes. That’s what Baek’s been doing every night for the past two weeks. Couldn’t his precious Tao deal with studying alone for one night? Missing one Friday night was ridiculous enough, but two was just plain rude.
Jongdae needs to find some universal Best Friend Contract to show Baekhyun just how many clauses of it he’s violating by abandoning him on Bonding Night in favour of helping his boyfriend study. God knows Baekhyun is never even helpful, and is probably more of a hindrance to the Chemistry major. Tao’s probably just too nice to tell Baekhyun to fuck off, Jongdae reasons.
He grabs one of the flasks in their mini fridge that’s labelled “MINERAL WATER” because they’re technically not allowed to keep alcohol in their dorms, or something like that. But the day Jongdae and Baekhyun actually listen to the rules will be the day he’s crazy enough to perm his hair or something along those lines, and their RA is like, God’s gift to them because he’s never ratted them out on the alcohol thing.
Their RA goes by the name Kim Junmyeon and Kim Junmyeon is perfect. No one can fight Jongdae on this.
There was this one Friday night the pair had decided to play football in the hallway outside their dorm, drunk and loud. They still don’t know if someone had complained about them or if Junmyeon had heard them, but all he did was take the ball away from a pouting Baekhyun, lead them to their room, and put them to bed. When they woke up, there were two glasses of water and a whole strip of painkillers sitting on the desk in their room. All of the other students living on their floor probably hate them, for good reason, which is why Jongdae knows for a fact that the medicine was courtesy of Junmyeon.
His evidence for his claim is undeniable and therefore, his claim has to be true. Junmyeon is perfect.
It’s 11pm, and Jongdae decides to put on Tangled, just because he can, and it’s Baekhyun’s fault that he’s missing out on one of the best movies ever created. Besides, the night is still young and if Baekhyun decides to come back, Jongdae might be gracious enough to let the traitor join him in watching the sing-along version of Mulan that he bought two years ago because he couldn’t just leave the DVD on the shelf. What if it was sold to someone who thought Mushu was a lizard??
Jongdae prides himself on the fact that he managed to prevent such an offending occurrence from happening.
Eighty minutes later, the flask is significantly emptier than when Jongdae took it out of the fridge, and he’s clutching his blanket to his chin as he whispers, “you were my new dream” along with Eugene. He is most definitely not crying. Nope. He tries to ignore the fact that if Baekhyun was here, he would be replying with “and you were mine” and they would both have each other to cuddle with.
Traitor.
Baekhyun still isn’t back when the end credits start rolling, and Jongdae’s too upset to wait for his so-called best friend, so he puts on Mulan and grabs the now-empty flask, because it’s a sing-along and he needs a microphone. He decides to help himself to the second flask from the fridge, because Baekhyun doesn’t deserve it at all, and plus, he’s still slightly bitter about the fact that Baekhyun isn’t here. Meaning: he hasn’t drunk quite enough.
He’s only slightly drunk when he’s singing along to “Honour to Us All” at the top of his voice, and honestly, he really can’t care less if anyone else on his floor can hear him. They should be grateful they get to enjoy a solo from him because his voice is amazing. Plus, it’s a Friday night; no one in their right mind should be studying. Of course he doesn’t have anyone specific in mind, Huang Zitao.
By the time General Shang starts to sing, “Let’s get down to business”, Jongdae’s standing on his bed and making wild hand gestures as he sings along because he is allowing the Passionate Disney Enthusiast inside of him shine and okay, maybe he’s more than just slightly drunk. It’s not that surprising that he doesn’t hear the door to his room click open when he’s in the middle of belting out “TRANQUIL AS A FOREST BUT ON FIRE WITHIN”.
He’s rudely interrupted when the music comes to an abrupt stop.
“Have you no respect for the head of the Chinese army?” He yells loudly, shaking his fist at the intruder. It’s probably Baekhyun, and Baekhyun does not deserve nice Jongdae.
“It’s 2am.” The voice is alarmingly quiet, and definitely not Baekhyun’s. Jongdae tilts his head towards the door, and sees his favourite person on campus. Baekhyun no longer deserves that title since he pulled a Prince Hans and ditched Jongdae for Huang Zitao. That’s like Peter picking Wendy over the Lost Boys or something equally preposterous like that.
“Exactly, hyung, it’s 2am, it’s the perfect time to do whatever the hell you want,” Jongdae responds stubbornly, holding his hand out for the remote in Junmyeon’s grasp.
“Some people actually like sleeping.” Jongdae thinks Junmyeon’s trying to seem intimidating, but he’s wearing black-framed glasses instead of his usual contacts and his sleepy blinking is doing nothing to help the frown he’s trying to keep on his face.
“Sleep is for the weak.” He giggles happily, and sits down on the bed with a thump. “You should join me. Then we can sing the parts together!” He brightens at the prospect. He misses the alarmed look on Junmyeon’s face.
“Don’t you have your friend, that Byun Baekhyun? Is he not here?” Junmyeon sounds tired, and not because he’s sleepy, but as if the idea of Baekhyun actually wears him out. Jongdae frowns, because Junmyeon’s right, Baekhyun isn’t here. “Stay here,” he orders his RA, and promptly whips out his phone.
Baekhyun picks up on the second ring. “Jongdae-“
“Baek, why can’t you let me be a part of your world?” Jongdae half yells, half demands into his handheld device. “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty, I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore, you want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty! Why won’t you let me be a part of your world? Am I not enough for this friendship?” Jongdae pouts.
“Are you drunk?” Baekhyun asks, and he sounds as if he’s seconds away from laughing. Jongdae is not amused.
“What happened to Ohana, Byun Baekhyun?” Jongdae’s free arm is flailing as he speaks, and Junmyeon would laugh, but he’s more worried about the flask in Jongdae’s grip. If Jongdae breaks a window…
“Jongdae-ah, Taozi was planning on pulling an all-nighter, I told you this,” His best friend chides him gently. “You should go to sleep, it’s really late, Dae.”
Jongdae blinks and holds the phone away from his ear. There’s no way Baekhyun just said that. He thrusts the rectangular device in Junmyeon’s general direction. “I think we should report a kidnapping, hyung. That’s not Baekhyun.” Junmyeon looks at him warily, and sighs as Jongdae gestures again for him to answer the call.
Jongdae’s too intoxicated to hear the older boy mutter “crazy” under his breath, but he takes the phone from Jongdae anyway, because he’s responsible and he cares about everyone that he’s supervising.
“Hello?” He answers, apprehension colouring his greeting.
“- sorry Dae, but-“ The person on the line stops speaking abruptly, and Junmyeon questions why he even bothered trying to get Jongdae to stop singing. It would have taken less effort to try to just sleep through the noise. “Huh? Hyung, is that you?”
“Unfortunately so,” Junmyeon sighs and massages his forehead. Jongdae snatches the controller from him, and he takes the chance to shoot the younger an icy look.
“I’m sorry, but would you mind taking care of Jongdae tonight? I’m helping someone study, and Jongdae can get…how do I put this? Really reckless when he’s not sober.” The pot calling the kettle black, Junmyeon responds mentally, rolling his eyes.
Jongdae’s currently rewinding the song back to the beginning and he almost wants to cry. “Baekhyun, it’s 2 in the morning. Morning,” he repeats his earlier words, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel as if he has any real objection to the request, which maybe worries him a little.
“Hyung, don’t act like you would mind spending time with my Jongdae,” Baekhyun sounds too smug for his liking and he scoffs. “I’m only doing this because I’m in charge of ensuring no one dies on campus, Byun Baekhyun. Goodnight.”
“Good-“ Junmyeon cuts the line before the other can finish the greeting and when he holds the phone out to Jongdae, he finds the boy holding out a flask to him in return.
“What.”
“Sing with me, I can’t do the chorus and Shang’s parts all at the same time. Duh.” Jongdae looks at him as if the answer is obvious.
“But-”
“Please? Baekhyun won’t let me be a part of his stupid world, so I’m making my own and no one can tell us no. Or where to go, or-” The flask is being waved in front of his face, and Junmyeon takes it reluctantly. Obviously he’s only doing this because he can’t leave Jongdae alone. What if he hurts himself and Junmyeon gets into trouble for not being responsible enough??
Jongdae’s answering grin is almost blinding, and Junmyeon can’t help but let out a small smile. He glances at the flask in his hand and blinks. He’s actually doing this. Okay.
“I knew it.” Junmyeon looks up to find Jongdae still smiling at him. “I’ve always told Baek that you’re higher up on my List of Favourite People than he is.” A finger is pointed at him, and he stills momentarily, not really sure how to answer something like that. Jongdae pats the space on the bed next to him, where he’s made some sort of blanket nest, and gestures for the older to sit next to him. Junmyeon blinks.
“I don’t bite, I promise.” Jongdae says after Junmyeon doesn’t move, and lets out a laugh. Junmyeon recognises it almost immediately; Jongdae has the kind of laugh that you don’t forget easily, because of how genuine it sounds. It’s carefree, and if Junmyeon wants to be honest, it’s one of his favourite laughs. Not to be creepy or anything, he’s just…really observant, that’s all.
Junmyeon decides to take up Jongdae’s offer, because there’s no way he’s going to stand through a babysitting session at 2 in the morning.
Jongdae brightens up even more at the decision, and hits play on the remote. “Do you want to do Shang’s parts? Or do you prefer the chorus? Honestly I ‘m fine with either because I love the whole song.” He jabbers on excitedly, and Junmyeon still feels at a loss at what to do because he’s always only had to take care of Jongdae and Baekhyun after their Ridiculous Moments, he’s never had to actually deal with what happened during them.
“Ah you know what, it doesn’t matter, we can do them together, it’s more fun that way!” Jongdae’s either too drunk to realise that Junmyeon hasn’t actually said anything, or he’s really, really passionate about Mulan, and Junmyeon can’t tell which is the more probable answer.
He thinks it’s only slightly endearing.
It’s nearly 3:30am when they finish the movie, and Jongdae is barely awake, his head resting on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Junmyeon, on the other hand, is wide awake. He doesn’t know what to feel, because to say that watching Mulan with Kim Jongdae was an experience would be an understatement. Junmyeon doesn’t think he’ll ever forget this night.
Jongdae actually cried when the Emperor gave Mulan his crest and when China bowed to her, and he had turned to Junmyeon with tears in his eyes, “I feel like a proud father, are you seeing this right now? She saved them all.” And he had grabbed Junmyeon’s arm, shaking it wildly.
Junmyeon had responded with a laugh, nodding his head and petting the boy with his free hand.
Junmyeon sits in silence for five minutes, letting the end credits of the movie roll on, because he doesn’t have the heart to wake Jongdae up. He glances down at the boy asleep on his shoulder, and his heart gives a small lurch, because Jongdae asleep is, well, kind of maybe beautiful. His features are softer, his lips curling up only slightly at the corners, and Junmyeon finds himself staring for a while.
He shakes his head, frowning only slightly. He’s here in Jongdae’s trust. He can’t take advantage of that. “Get it together, Junmyeon.” He mutters under his breath and gives a sigh of reluctance. “Jongdae.” He tries to shake the younger gently, but receives no response.
After a while, when it seems as though Jongdae isn’t going to wake up, he uses a hand to lift the head on his shoulder, hands brushing through the chestnut brown curls unintentionally, and gently rests Jongdae’s head on a pillow. He stands up and rearranges the blankets, tucking Jongdae in properly, something he’s done several times before, but this time indulges himself in a lingering gaze or two.
He picks up the forgotten flasks and sets them both on the study table, but opens one curiously to take a sniff. He rolls his eyes when he smells the alcohol.
In all honesty, Junmyeon could have just turned off the lights and left the room, because he wasn’t obligated to do anything else. Instead, he leaves the room for the communal kitchen that’s about a five-minute walk away, and digs through the medicine drawer, relieved when he finds the aspirin pills. He takes two and fills a glass of water, carrying them to Jongdae’s room. He sets them next to the empty flasks and allows himself one more look at Jongdae’s sleeping figure before switching the lights off and heading back to his room.
Junmyeon doesn’t get much sleep for the rest of the night.
Jongdae wakes up with a splitting headache but cosily warm, because the blanket around him is tucked in impeccably, and he’s curious for a moment. He winces when he sits up, but panics when he glances at the study desk and notices the pills and glass of water.
If that doesn’t spell J-u-n-m-y-e-o-n then Jongdae doesn’t know what does.
His eyes dart around the room quickly, trying to locate his phone. He finds it under the blanket near the foot of his bed, and anxiously unlocks it to dial Baekhyun’s number. He only remembers Baekhyun ditching him for Tao, and he remembers finishing Tangled, but he’s not quite sure what happened after that.
Baekhyun picks up after a while, and Jongdae nearly cries into the phone. “Please tell me you know what happened last night.”
There’s an answering groan on the other end of the line. “You woke me up at 10 on a Saturday morning to ask me what.”
“Please Baek, it’s a need to know case.”
There’s a pause. Then, Baekhyun sighs, “You don’t remember Junmyeon?” Baekhyun sounds tired, but there’s still a teasing edge to the question, and Jongdae gulps. Oh no.
“You let me stay up drunk,” he massages the bridge of his nose, “with Junmyeon??” He exhales loudly.
Baekhyun snorts at him on the other end of the line. “Yeah, why not? Maybe you finally conf-”
“Shut. Up. Byun. Baekhyun,” Jongdae growls, but his anger evaporates as he lies on the bed again and closes his eyes. “Oh my god, Baek, what if I said something? Or did something embarrassing? What if he thinks I’m a complete idiot?” Jongdae starts rambling as dozens of Horrible Scenarios play out in his head simultaneously.
“But you are an idiot.” The statement is said simply, and Jongdae feels like punching a wall, despite the pounding in his head.
“Jafar in Aladdin is an idiot, I’m not,” he mumbles into the receiver.
“Dae, what’s the worst that could have happened? Besides, I’m sure he didn’t mind spending time with you,” Jongdae can almost see the gleeful look on Baekhyun’s face. Making Fun Of Jongdae is Baekhun’s favourite hobby; Jongdae knows this.
“You’re saying useless things again. I’m disowning you. Goodbye,” Jongdae says dully, and ends the call with yet another groan. He flips himself around to yell into his pillow, and thrashes on the bed for five seconds. How come Baekhyun’s the one in a happy relationship while he isn’t? The world makes no sense.
Slowly, he removes the arm covering his eyes, and tries to sit up again, because his head really hurts, and he could do with the aspirin. His cheeks warm when he picks up the pills, and looks at them for a moment before swallowing them down in one gulp.
He considers sending Junmyeon flowers, then decides against it. That might be crossing some lines, and Jongdae definitely doesn’t want to risk that.
He sits in his bed for a while longer, hoping for his headache to clear. In the end, he settles on going out for an early lunch alone, since Baekhyun’s a pathetic excuse for a best friend and he doesn’t really feel like interacting with anyone else at the moment.
He buys an extra sandwich when he’s done, and walks back slowly to the dorm, contemplating if he should actually give it to Junmyeon. It would make sense, right? To thank him for the aspirin, and god only knows what else. It’s totally not an obvious move at all.
He bumps into Minho when he steps into the lift, and greets his senior cheerfully, knowing that Junmyeon and Minho are close friends. He’s met him once before, when he was at the library looking for a reference book, and Junmyeon had introduced the both of them.
“Minho-hyung, it’s nice to see you.”
“Same, Jongdae,” Minho shoots him a smile.
“Ah, are you here to see Junmyeon-hyung?” Jongdae asks politely.
“Yeah,” Minho’s forehead crumples. “I don’t really know what’s wrong, he asked me to come over, and he sounded as if he just woke up, and that was at noon.” Jongdae’s eyes widen, because everyone knows Junmyeon is a morning person. He’s the kind of person that wakes up at 6 to go for morning runs; it’s kind of ridiculous.
Jongdae immediately feels a flash of guilt, because it was probably his fault that Junmyeon’s in such a state. “Um, why don’t you give this to him?” He holds the sandwich out shyly, his mind going into overdrive as he tries to justify The Sandwich.
Minho arches an eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Nah, it’s Baekhyun’s, but he texted me on my way back that he was grabbing lunch himself.” He manages to lie smoothly, and hastily adds, “Baekhyun’s my roommate.”
“Ah, the loud one.” Minho says knowingly, which, okay, is slightly strange. As far as Jongdae knows, the two have yet to meet. The lift dings when it reaches their floor, and Minho takes the offered sandwich. “Thanks for this, I’m sure Junmyeon will appreciate it.” He grins brightly at Jongdae. “I’ll see you around!” They step out of the lift, but go different directions, and Jongdae almost wants to dig a hole in the ground for himself.
That was terrible. And embarrassing. Jongdae has never felt this much like a teenaged schoolgirl his entire life.
This is all Baekhyun’s fault.
When he reaches his room, he quickly steps in and closes the door, and proceeds to hit his head repeatedly on said door.
“Why are you trying to kill off more brain cells than you can afford?” The question is laced with the brand of smug that only one person is obnoxious enough to have. Jongdae whips his head around to find Baekhyun and Tao sitting side by side on Baekhyun’s bed, sharing a pair of earphones and huddled over a laptop. It’s disgustingly endearing.
“Why are you here?” He asks dumbly.
“I told you, he only seems smart.” Baekhyun fake-whispers to Tao, and the latter lets out a laugh. Baekhyun stands carefully, and moves towards Jongdae, and feels his forehead.
“Dae, I know this might be a shock to you, but this is my room too, remember?”
Baekhyun is disgusting and Jongdae wishes his best friend was Kim Jongin instead, the talented dancer he met when he auditioned to join the dance club as a joke at the start of the year. Jongin had laughed at Jongdae for his messy hand-eye coordination, but offered to give him a helping hand, which was sweet.
“You’re disgusting.” Jongdae answers, brushing off Baekhyun’s hand and moves to slide into his own bed. “I don’t know how you’re dating him.” He says to Tao, and Tao shakes his head. “It’s tough love.”
“The both of you are horrible people, and I hate you,” Baekhyun says simply, and returns to his earlier position next to Tao. “We ordered pizza to share with you, that’s why we’re back. I figured I owe you,” Baekhyun adds, throwing his pillow at Jongdae.
“Damn right you do,” Jongdae shoots back, and is momentarily thankful he had a light lunch, because pizza beats a sandwich any day.
“So, how was Junmyeon?” Baekhyun asks after a while, and Jongdae answers by throwing Baekhyun’s pillow back at him. Tao laughs at the exchange, and Jongdae feels marginally better, because at least Tao knows how to laugh at Baekhyun’s pain.
♔♔♔
Jongdae doesn’t see much of Junmyeon the next few days, which is actually fairly normal. See, it’s not like they’re actually friends or anything, but their relationship is more than just a casual hi-bye one; Jongdae still isn’t exactly sure how to classify it. So of course, he chooses to avoid the problem entirely.
♔♔♔
On a Thursday two weeks after Disney Night With Junmyeon, Jongdae wakes up extremely nauseous, and when he sits up, he promptly throws up in the bin that’s conveniently placed in between his and Baekhyun’s beds.
It’s 7am.
His only class for the day starts at 3 in the afternoon and Jongdae always takes advantage of that to sleep in.
But it’s 7am, and he’s feeling completely horrible and wants to die.
“Baek,” He says, barely audibly, knowing that it was a fruitless attempt to wake his sleeping friend. He clears his throat and tries again, “Baek.” It comes out more like a strangled whisper than anything else.
Sighing, he grabs his phone and sets an alarm for 10 seconds, puts it at the loudest volume, and tosses his phone over to Baekhyun, the device landing softly on the duvet.
10 seconds later, the phone buzzes and “NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA” starts to play extremely loudly, and it only takes moments for Baekhyun to stir awake. “What the fuck,” He curses as he falls to the ground.
“What’s wrong with you?” He groans loudly, massaging his knee and turning off the alarm, throwing the phone at Jongdae.
“I’m not feeling well,” Jongdae answers hoarsely, and points at the bin. Baekhyun peeks into the container and immediately grimaces, but he gets up and walks the three steps over to Jongdae. “That’s gross,” he reaches up to touch Jongdae’s forehead with the back of his hand, and frowns. “You’re like, really hot.”
Jongdae finds the energy to give a small smirk. “Yeah, I know.”
Baekhyun sighs, but the “idiot” that he mutters under his breath comes out fond. He rummages through his bag to grab the water bottle in it and passes it to his best friend. “Drink some if you can, and lie down. I’m going to look for the nurse.”
It’s only ten minutes after Baekhyun leaves the room that Jongdae realises they don’t actually have a nurse. He falls back asleep soon enough, having no energy to actually think about Baekhyun’s nurse. Knowing Baekhyun, he’s probably gone off to get help from Tao, because Jongdae’s pretty sure Tao’s the only other person on campus who can stand Baekhyun.
He wakes up significantly later, because the room is casted in shadows, and when he checks his phone, he realises it’s 8 in the evening. He tries to sit up, but the room starts spinning and he lies back down, groaning. He throws an arm over his eyes, mentally willing the throbbing ache in his head to go away.
“Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, and he replies with a husky, “No, leave me alone, go away.”
A beat of silence, and he frowns, slowly uncovering his eyes. “Baekhyun, why do you sound like Jun-” He squints to look at “Baekhyun” and freezes when he sees the person sitting at their desk.
“Oh,” He says uselessly, and feels himself heating up. “Sorry, hyung,” he croaks out. “I didn’t um, expect to see you.” All this talking is hurting is throat, and he winces.
Junmyeon approaches him slowly, as if he was unsure of what to do. “Baekhyun wanted to stay, but he said he had to meet his older brother for dinner? He was worried you might need some looking after.” Jongdae vaguely remembers Baekhyun mentioning Baekbeom wanting to visit. “Oh yeah,” Jongdae replies dumbly, for lack of a better response.
“Uh, I brought you some soup, if you’re hungry?” Junmyeon asks, scratching his head. Despite the fact that Jongdae feels like death reincarnated, he manages to find the gesture utterly adorable.
He tries to sit up again, this time forcing himself to stay sitting up, because Junmyeon is here, and he doesn’t want to look more of a mess than he already is. Jongdae’s not starving per se, but Junmyeon brought him soup, and he knows that if he rejects it, he’s going to think of this moment twenty years later and hate himself for it.
“I am kinda, actually.” It’s only a half truth, and white lies can’t hurt anyone.
Junmyeon pours the portion of soup from a flask into a bowl, and Jongdae gives him a small smile as he accepts the bowl. “Thanks, hyung.” He ignores the jolt of warmth that runs through him when their hands brush as Junmyeon hands him the bowl.
There’s silence for a while, and if Jongdae wants to be honest, it is an awkward silence, made worse because Junmyeon looks incredibly uncomfortable. Jongdae feels his heart sink a little and he swallows. “Uh, hyung, I’m really sorry for having to disturb you. If you’re busy or anything, you don’t have to stay with me.” He lets out a nervous chuckle, but it comes out sounding weak.
“It’s not that,” Junmyeon rushes to answer, and if Jongdae wasn’t so tired he would have noticed the dusting of pink on the elder’s cheeks. “It’s just, er, I didn’t wantyoutobeleftaloneeither.” He mumbles the last few words, and Jongdae doesn’t catch them.
“I’m sorry?”
“Um.” Junmyeon laughs nervously. “You’re not troubling me at all, honestly.”
“Ah, I’m sure I’ll be f-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because he starts to cough violently, and he immediately covers his mouth with his hand.
Junmyeon takes the bowl away from Jongdae’s grasp, worried that it might spill and stain the sheets. He pats Jongadae on the back sympathetically, but frowns as he draws his hand away. “You’re really warm.”
Jongdae hates himself for missing the feel of Junmyeon’s hand on his back. The only reason why Junmyeon is here is because you’re sick and he’s a responsible person, he chides himself mentally. “I’ll be fine-”
“That’s what Minho says until he gets worse the next day,” Junmyeon gives a short laugh. “You really should take care of yourself.”
The words are simple, but Jongdae freezes, trying to convince himself that the note of sheer concern in them is something he only thought he heard. Shaking his head slightly, he looks at Junmyeon again.
“Hey, are you really busy?” He asks, anticipation colouring his question.
Junmyeon thinks about the 8000-word thesis paper he has yet to write, and gives Jongdae a smile. “Nah, not really.”
“Wanna watch a Disney movie with me?” Jongdae’s eyes are smiling, and Junmyeon doesn’t even know how it’s physically possible for someone to be able to look like that even when they’re ill.
That’s how they end up pressed next to each other on Jongdae’s bed, watching The Little Mermaid on Jongdae’s laptop.
“It kinda sucks, you know?” Jongdae murmurs to Junmyeon sleepily.
“Hm?”
“All that time, she was right there, but just because she couldn’t say anything, he didn’t know.” The words are mumbled, and Junmyeon has to strain his ears to listen, but he doesn’t miss the wistful tone they carry.
He’s suddenly hyper aware of how close they’re sitting together, and how Jongdae’s cold feet are pressing against his warm ones under the blanket. He swallows, and wills himself not to get distracted. “They get together in the end, don’t they?” He whispers back, but Jongdae doesn’t reply. Curious, he peeks at the other, only to find Jongdae’s eyes closed.
“Jongdae?” He asks softly, but the younger gives no response.
Junmyeon finishes watching the movie alone, partly because he doesn’t really want to move. In his defence, moving would disturb Jongdae, and the poor boy needed as much rest as he could get. It’s a weak argument, but it’s not like there’s anyone there to call him out on it.
He shuts the laptop down after the movie ends, and puts it away carefully. He looks at Jongdae again, and he’s hit with a moment of déjà vu. He remembers the last time this happened, and he sighs.
Jongdae is loud, energetic, confident in every way he isn’t. There’s no way Jongdae would notice him in that way. Plus, Junmyeon doesn’t even know if Jongdae is into guys. There’s just no point in trying to pursue one-sided feelings because that never ends well.
He gets up carefully, trying his best not to jostle the sleeping boy, and adjusts the blanket so that Jongdae will be more comfortable. He lingers, and slowly, unsurely, he reaches out to touch, his fingers tracing lightly across Jongdae’s jaw. The younger twitches, and Junmyeon immediately withdraws his hand. It’s trembling. Hastily, he grabs his bag from the swivel chair at the desk, and turns to leave the room.
He opens the door to walk out, only to walk straight into Baekhyun.
“Sorry, hyung!” Baekhyun reaches out to steady Junmyeon.
“Thanks, Baekhyun. By the way, Jongdae’s asleep. I think his fever went down.”
Baekhyun gives him a look that makes him shift uncomfortably. “You stayed for so long?” He asks finally, and Junmyeon feels his cheeks heating up. “Jongdae wanted to watch a movie, it just ended,” He says, trying to sound casual, and failing.
Baekhyun tilts his head to the side, biting his lower lip and gives Junmyeon another calculating look.
Junmyeon has never had to sit in front a panel of judges for anything, ever, but he assumes the feeling is similar to what he feels now.
A few seconds pass and the look on Baekhyun’s face vanishes. It’s replaced with a bright smile, and he moves to the side to allow the elder to pass. “Goodnight, hyung, thanks for helping me babysit the burden.”
Junmyeon returns the greeting, and walks back to his room, choosing to ignore the jittery feeling in his stomach.
♔♔♔
Two days later, Junmyeon receives a submission in the suggestion box hanging outside his door. It’s there in case the residential students have any questions or requests for him, and it’s surprising because Junmyeon doesn’t get many of those. The last time he found anything in the box was two months ago, and it was just Minho deciding to play a prank on him.
Warily, he unfolds the slip of paper, and reads the note.
Name: ur friend
Room number: wouldnt u like to know
Urgency of enquiry:
Enquiry: !!!!!!!! the flower that blooms in adversity is the most RARE and BEAUTIFUL of all !!!!!!!!!! so pls look carefully PLS
Junmyeon folds the piece of paper slowly, and slides it into his pocket. He looks around, but there’s no one there, and he frowns. He recognises the quote; it’s from Mulan. He only knows this because he watched it with Jongdae that Friday night. It’s probably a joke again, and he’s going to kill Minho.
Sighing, he massages the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. He goes to class with a heavy feeling in his heart. It’s wistfulness, he realises, the comprehension settling slowly on him in the middle of his afternoon class. He knows the note was a joke, and yet, he wishes it wasn’t.
Sometimes it terrifies him that he’s occasionally envious of Baekhyun. It’s totally not because he’s Jongdae’s best friend, or that he lives with Jongdae, or anything like that.
He thinks about the two newly downloaded Disney soundtracks in his phone, and he sighs.
A week later, Junmyeon receives another anonymous note in his submission box.
Name: how long more do i have to play matchmaker i stg
Room number: surprise me and show up at mine
Urgency of enquiry:
Enquiry: you dont meet a boy like that every dynasty ok
He folds the note carefully, trying to compose his features, and walks back straight into his room, to where Minho is lying on his own bed, with headphones over his head. Junmyeon yanks the piece out roughly, and holds the note out to Minho.
“What?” Minho shoots him a dirty look and eyes the sheet carefully, before reaching out to take it.
“If you’re going to keep leaving these in my box, I’m going to find a way to make sure you end up rooming with Kibum.” He says with a straight face.
“Oh no, I should be so scared,” Minho taunts as he unfolds the note. His eyebrows rise as he reads the notes, and laughs. “But I’m not the one writing these.” His eyes scan through the note again, rereading it. “Junmyeon, we’ve been friends for years, and you honestly think my handwriting looks like that?” He laughs again, and hands the note back to Junmyeon. “I think someone likes you.”
The statement is said coyly, and Minho wiggles his eyebrows at his friend.
Junmyeon takes the note back slowly. Okay, so it wasn’t Minho’s handwriting, but he could have easily bribed someone else to fill in the form. That’s a possibility Junmyeon can’t rule out, because Minho is capable of anything.
“How do I know you didn’t get someone to write this?” He narrows his eyes at his friend.
“Junmyeon-yah, why would I waste my time doing that? I already waste enough of it telling you to shut up about Kim Jongdae.” Minho teases, and his eyes widen in recognition.
“Give me the note.” He snatches it from Junmyeon, and reads it a third time. He looks up when he’s done. “…isn’t this a quote from Mulan? Didn’t you two watch Mulan together?” Minho smirks, and pushes the slip of paper back into Junmyeon’s hands.
“I bet you ₩10,000 that it’s Jongdae. Or his noisy friend, Bacon?”
“Baekhyun.” Junmyeon corrects automatically, and scowls when Minho chuckles at him.
“Doesn’t matter, Jongdae’s the important one here.” Minho tilts his head to the right, and worries his bottom lip for a moment. “Are you going to ask Jongdae?” He leans back against his bed and eyes his friend.
“You know these things never work out for me, it’s just…not worth it.” Junmyeon trails off softly, and he concentrates on looking at his feet, instead of Minho. He hears the creak of Minho’s bed, and suddenly there're arms wrapped around him lightly.
“Jongdae’s not an asshole, J. I've met him, and for once… I don't think he’s wrong.” Minho ends quietly, and Junmyeon sighs.
Junmyeon knows the drill by now.
“It’s not you, it’s me, you know that right? You’re too good for me, I’m not responsible like you are, I forget the important dates…it’s just not going to work out. You have to know that.”
“I can't do this anymore, I’m sorry Jun. We’re just not right for each other. I’m sorry.”
“You know, when we first met, I thought you’d be, I don't know, a lot cooler. It’s been three months, and I don't know any other way to put this, but I’m getting bored, Junmyeon. Let's break up.”
He remembers every end clear as crystal. Every single time, Minho was there to pick up the pieces. Junmyeon owes him a lifetime and more.
He’s learnt from his lessons. It’s not going to work out the way he wants it to, because it never does.
“I know you don't believe me,” Minho says gently, when he pulls away from the hug and holds his best friend at arm’s length. “You have that look in your eyes, I know.” He chuckles when Junmyeon tries to protest.
“Jongdae isn't someone you met at a random club, neither is he six years older than you. He doesn't seem to have anger issues, and you’ve known him for what, nearly a year now? He’s not your usual brand of dick, I would know.”
Minho pats him on his back. “Think about it, J. Don't throw a good thing away, okay?”
Junmyeon feels moisture in his eyes, and rubs at them with the back of his hand. “Yeah,” he says thickly. “I’ll think about it. Thanks.”
♔♔♔
Junmyeon spends the next two weeks arguing with himself. He even makes a list.
Why you should ask him:
It’ll add to your happiness
It might add to his happiness?
It’s been six months, and the only reason why you haven't is because you're scared
He has a really nice jawline
You’re kind of maybe in love with his personality (!!)
He actually treats you like you exist
He asked you to watch Disney with him (!!!)
He might actually say yes??
Why you shouldn't ask him:
He might break your heart
He might not even like boys
Even if he does, he might not even like you
What if he never lets you help him to bed ever again??
He might start ignoring you completely :(
He thinks about it a lot.
When Minho sees the list, he looks at Junmyeon and stares him in the eye. “J, just ask him, okay? You’ve got nothing to lose. Trust me on this.”
Junmyeon wishes he were brave enough to trust Minho.
♔♔♔
It's 2am, and it's a Friday night. Junmyeon can't sleep. He’s been lying on his bed, scrolling through his Twitter feed on his phone, but not really reading the pixelated words on the screen.
He keeps getting distracted from reading the inane tweets from @lordchanyeol or @bunnyixing or @sexysehun, because he’s thinking about Kim Jongdae.
It's 2am, and Junmyeon thinks he’s going to finally ask Kim Jongdae out.
He sits up carefully, feels around for his glasses and locates his slippers in the dark, not wanting to wake Minho.
Five minutes later finds him outside Jongdae and Baekhyun’s room, completely petrified of what he’s going to do. He hears the two laughing loudly inside, and he swallows.
It seems like a lifetime before he’s able to raise his hand and knock.
Another lifetime passes before the door opens, and Baekyun peaks out from behind the door.
“Junmyeon-hyung?” He sounds uncertain, but his eyes are gleaming and Junmyeon feels like he’s going to throw up from nerves.
“Uh, is Jongdae here?” He forces himself to not stutter, but his question comes out soft.
Baekhyun’s answering smile is so bright it’s unsettling.
“He’s baking,” Baekhyun responds, and Tao’s face pops up behind Baekhyun’s. “Hi, hyung.”
“Baking?” This time the question is incredulous, and Junmyeon momentarily forgets why he’s nervous at all.
“Yep,” Baekhyun confirms, popping the ‘p’. “He couldn’t sleep.”
“Huh,” Junmyeon answers dumbly.
“You can find him in the kitchen,” Baekhyun adds helpfully. “Actually, maybe you can help make sure he doesn't burn the place down.”
Junmyeon thinks he might be dreaming. He probably is, and dream-Jongdae might actually burn the dorm down, which might be a sign that asking Jongdae out is a horrible idea.
Still, he nods and thanks Baekhyun, and returns Tao’s greeting before leaving the couple for the kitchen.
He smells the baking before he actually sees it, and he’s confused. He’s pretty sure Jongdae’s violating some sort of rule, but right now, he can't be bothered to care. Plus, he’s grown accustomed to closing both eyes to Jongdae’s frequent delinquent tendencies.
The sight that greets him makes him laugh. Jongdae’s mixing something in a large bowl, and Junmyeon thinks it's utterly endearing.
“Um.” He clears his throat and Jongdae jumps. Turning around, his eyes widen but he breaks into a grin when he sees the intruder. “Hyung!” He greets happily. “Why’re you here?”
Junmyeon wonders why too. He feels like giving a stupid excuse, because all of a sudden, he’s reminded why he took so long to even ask Jongdae out.
Jongdae’s spontaneous; he’s fun. That’s why he’s friends with Byun Baekhyun, one of the loudest and most charismatic people on campus, and that's why he’s baking at 2am in the morning. Junmyeon follows the rules, he’s organised and neat, he’s nothing like Jongdae.
“Um,” he feels his resolve crumbling by the second, and he knows he’s not confessing. Glancing around, he notices an empty glass sitting on the kitchen countertop, and says, “I was thirsty.”
It’s pretty lame.
Jongdae’s smile drops almost instantly, and Junmyeon feels horrible.
“Oh,” Jongdae says, his eyes dropping and he moves to the side, letting Junmyoen walk to the water dispenser.
Junmyeon stays silent as he grabs a glass, and walks over to the dispenser next to Jongdae. He fills the glass, and the only sound that punctuates the silence is the sound of water filling the glass. When it’s full, Junmyeon turns to leave, but a timid voice stops him.
“I don't believe you.”
Junmyeon stops in his tracks.
“Hyung, I don't believe you,” Jongdae gulps nervously, and Junmyeon turns to face him. “That can't be why you came,” Jongdae says, and it’s obvious he’s nervous too.
If Junmyeon wasn't so jittery, he would have laughed, because Jongdae is nervous. It makes no sense.
Maybe it's 2am and that's why nothing makes sense.
He still hasn't spoken, and Jongdae takes a step towards him. He’s rooted to the spot. His heart is racing and he thinks he might actually drop the glass he’s holding.
“Hyung,” Jongdae sounds like he’s actually pleading with him.
Junmyeon’s terrified, but fuck it, he decides. “You’re right,” he whispers.
“Then why?” Jongdae challenges, and he takes another step towards Junmyeon. The space between them is almost disappearing, and Junmyeon has never felt this afraid about a boy, ever. Because it's Jongdae, and Jongdae matters so, so much.
Junmyeon stares at Jongdae. It’s Jongdae, who’s friendly and kind and almost always happy. It’s Jongdae, who has an amazing voice and who isn’t afraid to be himself. It’s Jongdae, who knows how to let loose and have fun but who also knows when to be serious. It’s Jongdae, the boy he noticed from the moment he signed up as a RA.
It’s Jongdae, who he’s had a hopeless crush on for months.
He thinks he might throw up.
“Jongdae, I- Ilikeyou.” Junmyeon’s ears are on fire; he can literally feel them heating up, and he doesn’t dare to meet Jongdae’s gaze. He doesn’t know what to do with his free hand, and if he wasn’t carrying the glass, he knows he would have hugged himself, because he doesn’t feel safe. He feels completely bare, exposed.
It’s quiet for a while, too long, and Junmyeon feels his heart sink. He knew it. He should have never said anything, because now Jongdae’s going to hate him and he’s never going to want to see him again, and Junmyeon has just gone and ruined a good friends-
Jongdae startles him by taking the last step towards Junmyeon, and he takes the glass from him. Junmyeon still doesn’t dare to look at Jongdae. Junmyeon hears the glass being set on the table, and he’s surprised when Jongdae uses a finger to tilt his chin up gently so he’s actually looking at him.
Jongdae’s smiling so widely that the sides of his eyes are all crinkly and Junmyeon is confused. Jongdae shouldn’t be smiling, not when-
“Hyung, thank you for telling me that.”
Jongdae looks at him straight in the eye, and deliberately slowly, he leans in, so Junmyeon can back out if he wants to. Thing is, Junmyeon can’t do anything, because he’s frozen to the spot and his mind is in overdrive. This doesn’t make any sense at all.
Jongdae’s eyes flicker to Junmyeon’s lips just a second before he closes the gap between their mouths, and brushes his lips softly against Junmyeon’s. The older boy doesn’t know how to react.
Jongdae pulls away, but his eyes are still bright and he’s still looking at Junmyeon like Christmas came early.
“In case you didn’t already know, I kinda like you too,” he breathes, and lets out an airy laugh. Junmyeon is currently feeling too many emotions. He doesn’t know what to do, so he buries his face in the crook of Jongdae’s neck, and he feels arms wrap themselves around his frame.
Junmyeon’s so nervous he thinks he might throw up but he’s never felt this comfortable in a long time.
Jongdae’s laugh is loud and it’s comforting. It’s familiar, because Junmyeon always hears him laughing about something with Baekhyun. It’s nice.
“You know, hyung, I really didn’t know there was this side of you. You always seemed so…” Jongdae trails off, trying to find the right words. “Confident with everything you do.”
Junmyeon mumbles something into Jongdae’s neck, but the younger doesn’t catch the words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” He chuckles. Junmyeon lifts his head just slightly.
“You think I’m confident?” Junmyeon forgets himself for a moment and snorts.
“But you are,” Jongdae pouts, and Junmyeon wants to kiss it off his face. “You always know what to do, and you never freak out over anything-”
If only Jongdae knew what he and Minho talked about like 60% of the time, Junmyeon thinks wryly.
“And you’ve never lost your temper at me, or Baek-”
“Okay, okay,” Junmyeon laughs, and interrupts the boy. “I’ve never thought about it that way, is all,” he adds shyly.
They look at each other for a while, with Jongdae’s arms still around Junmyeon and it should be awkward, but it’s anything but.
“Hyung-”
“Jongdae-”
They both start at the same time, and bust into laughter.
“You first,” Junmyeon urges, and finds the nerve to put his arms around Jongdae’s neck.
“I was going to ask if I could kiss you again,” Jongdae says nonchalantly, and Junmyeon laughs again.
Instead of replying, he leans in, and this time, when their lips meet, Junmyeon’s no longer rooted to the spot. Junmyeon can taste sugar on Jongdae’s lips, and he nips at Jongdae’s bottom lip playfully, causing the younger to gasp in surprise. Jongdae’s hands have settled at Junmyeon’s waist, and his grip on him tightens slightly. Junmyeon opens his mouth in response when Jongdae’s tongue traces his lips, and all Junmyeon can think about is how right this feels. Their noses bump together, and the two start to giggle, and they pull away from the other when their giggles dissolve into laughter.
After they calm down, Jongdae rests his forehead against Junmyeon’s, and his thousand-watt smile is everything Junmyeon loves. “You’re a good kisser,” Jongdae compliments breathlessly.
“I’ve had practice,” Junmyeon replies cheekily, and he’s laughing again. He can’t help it; Jongdae’s been laughing all night, and Jongdae’s laughter is the worst kind of infectious. The expression on Jongdae’s face turns slightly sour though, and he reaches up to brush at Junmyeon’s fringe, moving it away from his eyes. “You’ve got me to practice with now, yeah?”
There’s a lump forming in Junmyeon’s throat, and instead of replying, he hugs Jongdae closer.
“Took you long enough,” Jongdae murmurs after a while.
“Hm?” Junmyeon can’t think about anything else other than Jongdae.
“You should ask Minho-hyung,” Jongdae says playfully, and Junmyeon groans. “What did he do?”
“There, there,” Jongdae says soothingly, and brushes their noses together; an eskimo kiss.
“How did you know, by the way?” Junmyeon’s suddenly curious.
“Know what?”
“That I was lying.”
“You always have bottles of water in your room,” Jongdae says simply, as if the answer was obvious. It is, but Jongdae doesn’t go to Junmyeon’s room.
“But-”
“CAN THE TWO OF YOU GET A ROOM??” Junmyeon turns around to face the intruder, refusing to let go of Jongdae. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about; because for once, he was brave enough to fight for something he really wanted.
Jongdae laughs again, and rolls his eyes as he turns back to Junmyeon. “Baek, leave us alone and go back to Tao.”
“Um, rude? I’m still waiting for my cupcakes,” Baekhyun sounds affronted, but the smile on his face says otherwise. Junmyeon’s surprised when he sees his best friend appear alongside Baekhyun, and he raises an eyebrow.
“I thought you were sleeping,” he accuses. “Junmyeon, you really think I’d miss this?” Minho gestures at the both of them. “I’ve been waiting for like, months.”
Junmyeon doesn’t miss the high five that Baekhun and Minho exchange, and he narrows his eyes at the pair.
“What’s going on?”
Jongdae’s arms tighten around him, and he looks at Jongdae. “They know each other?”
“I found out two weeks ago, don’t ask me because I don’t know how.” Jongdae shrugs his shoulders.
“You owe us, J, so can you step away from your boy and let him finish his cupcakes?” Minho teases and for the first time, Junmyeon blushes. His boy.
Jongdae rolls his eyes, but releases his hold of Junmyeon and opts to grab his hand instead, and pulls him over to the mixing bowl from earlier. “It’s a buttercream frosting,” he says to no one in particular.
When Jongdae’s finally done with the cupcakes, they end up eating sitting on the kitchen floor in a circle, because it’s nearly 3am and no one’s going to be as crazy as Jongdae.
“You two are disgusting,” Baekhyun comments as Jongdae feeds Junmyeon a bite of his cupcake. “You’re one to talk,” Jongdae sticks his tongue out at his friend. “You and Tao are worse than Instagram couples on Valentines’ day.” Tao shrugs, and cuddles closer to Baekhyun, who laughs in response and messes his hair.
Junmyeon doesn’t say anything, but grins as he pulls Jongdae closer with his arm around Jongdae’s waist.
♔♔♔
Two weeks later finds Jongdae and Junmyeon huddled together under the same blanket in Junmyeon’s room, watching a movie on Junmyeon’s laptop. This time, Jongdae isn’t drunk, neither is he sick, and he’s head is resting on Junmyeon’s chest, with Junmyeon’s arm wrapped snugly around his waist.
They’re watching Aladdin, because Jongdae insists it’s a classic, and Junmyeon’s too far gone for the boy to even try to protest. Anyway, Junmyeon has grown to have a fondness for the Disney films, if he’s being honest.
“Don’t you think it’s stupid?” Jongdae squeezes Junmyeon’s hand as he murmurs the question.
“What is?”
“That Aladdin thinks he has to try so hard to be with her, when all she wanted was Aladdin, the boy she met on the streets. She didn’t need all the glitter and gold, she just wanted him for who he was.”
Junmyeon doesn’t answer for a while, and they watch in silence as Jasmine and Prince Ali start to duet “A Whole New World”.
“You know, I thought you’d never notice me,” Junmyeon muses, and Jongdae immediately presses pause and sits up. He looks straight at Junmyeon with that tinge of sadness in his eyes, and Junmyeon still doesn’t know why.
“You thought I’d never notice you?”
“Um… yeah?”
Jongdae shifts so that he’s siting up properly, and he pushes the laptop away gently, before taking both of Junmyeon’s hands in his.
“Junmyeon,” he starts softly, “Minho-hyung told me that you’d talk to me about this when you were comfortable enough. And, I mean, you can tell me to stop if it really makes you uncomfortable, and I’d never want to upset you. Did you know, I was kinda crushing on you for like, nearly five months before we got together?”
Jongdae is looking at him with a careful expression, and Junmyeon still doesn’t understand what’s going on.
“You…what?”
“Hyung, I liked you for five months before you confessed to me two weeks ago,” Jongdae says casually, as if he didn’t just tell Junmyeon something totally shocking only five seconds ago.
“I…don’t understand.”
“Minho-hyung approached me like, a month and a half back, asking me if I liked you.”
Junmyeon wants to curl up in embarrassment, but Jongdae tugs on his hands, and smiles at him reassuringly. “He said, and I quote, “No one buys food for their best friend and gives it away so easily. No one.” and he told me not to lie. I said yes, and he looked at me and told me if I ever intended on hurting you, I could fuck off to Tuvalu and plan on never coming back. To be honest, he kind of scared me a little, and then he asked me out for coffee one afternoon. I couldn’t say no, of course.
“Then he told me that he couldn’t tell me everything, but that you had a couple of really bad experiences, and that you weren’t very good at dealing with the whole relationship thing, which hey, I completely understand. I don’t know what happened, but he told me to be patient, and to give you time, and I believed him. He told me to let you confess, because he wants you to realise that you can have good things if you’re brave enough, and you know what, I agree with him. I think somewhere along they way, he got to know Baekhyun too.”
The entire time Jongdae is speaking, he observes Junmyeon to make sure he isn’t crossing any lines.
“I-” Junmyeon doesn’t really know what to say, and he swallows. “I did. Have a couple of bad relationships, I mean.”
Jongdae nods, and he waits.
“Um, I mean, I don’t know if you want to hear any of this?”
Jongdae looks at Junmyeon and nods. “Hyung, I care about you a lot, I want to hear anything you want to tell me, I really do.”
Junmyeon doesn’t know why, but he feels like crying and when he speaks again, his voice is thick.
“I mean, I suppose I’ve never had the best taste in men, I think,” Junmyeon laughs, but it’s bitter and Jongdae hates it. “I’d like to think I’m okay, that I’m stronger, that I’ve learnt something, but I don’t know. My last relationship was two years ago, and that one lasted three months. Actually, they all didn’t last very long,” he laughs again, and Jongdae hates everything about it. It sounds wrong.
“I don’t know, I think I lost the courage to really get into a relationship for a while, and Minho worried about me. I think. But he’s never tried to set me up, or anything like that. He’s a good friend.”
“He cares about you a lot, I’m glad you have him,” Jongdae offers his boyfriend a genuine smile.
“Me too. I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up without him to be honest. Then I met you, and I don’t know, I admired how you’re always cheerful, how you’re always so open and friendly, and I think at some point in time, I wished I could be like you. Carefree, not caring what anyone else thought about me.”
Jongdae interrupts him. “I’m not happy all the time, I mean. I have problems too, hyung, trust me. Baekhyun is the cause for half of them.”
They both chuckle, and the mood in the room lifts slightly.
“You get what I mean. I wished I could be more, sure of myself, more confident. I saw that in you. I didn’t think you even knew who I was, I’m not exactly one of the “cool” kids and I don’t have a high profile, I kinda just, do my own thing.”
“You know, you say all this stuff, but everyone in our dorm really appreciates having you as our RA. You don’t give us hell, you don’t abuse your authority, and you let us do our own thing like, all of the time. You don’t even report Baekhyun and me for keeping alcohol, and I don’t think you realise this, but every student who lives here knows who you are, trust me. Plus, do you honestly think I’m that shallow? I’m offended,” Jongdae jokes. “I don’t subscribe to social hierarchies, they’re too much drama.”
Junmyeon feels overwhelmed. “But I’m just… Junmyeon.”
“Exactly, you’re Junmyeon. And you’re so, so important and I wish you knew that.”
Junmyeon blushes. “You’re saying that because you’re my boyfriend.” He still doesn’t quite believe that he’s in a relationship with Kim Jongdae, because it’s Kim Jongdae.
“No. I’m saying this because it’s true. I hate that people in your past could hurt you so much, I hate that you had to go through things like that, and I hate that you don’t believe me sometimes when I say I care a lot about you. I hate that sometimes when I reach out, your first reaction is to flinch. But I don’t care, I’m going to be here until you finally believe me, and I’m going to be here when you’re confident again, and I’m going to be here for all that and after.”
Junmyeon tears up, and he’s at a complete loss.
“I’m not-I’m not all that. Really,” Junmyeon says earnestly, and Jongdae leans in closer. His eyes are fond, and his hand reaches out to curl around Junmyeon’s neck. “You’re right,” he whispers, soft and intense. “You’re not just all that. To me, you’re everything and more.”
He closes the distance between their lips and kisses Junmyeon hard. He can smell Junmyeon’s usual scent, a mixture of sweet apples and soap, which might sound strange, but it works on the older boy. They kiss slowly, because they don’t have to rush. When they pull away, Junmyeon’s panting slightly, but Jongdae leaves a trail of kisses down Junmyeon’s jaw, his neck, his arm and finally stops when he leaves kisses on all five of the fingertips on Junmyeon’s right hand.
He grins at Junmyeon. “I’m going to spoil you so much, and you’re going to realise that your previous relationships weren’t relationships at all.”
Junmyeon doesn’t know how he managed to get so lucky.
When Minho walkes into his and Junmyeon’s shared room three hours later, he notices the couple curled up in each other’s arms, fast asleep. “Shit. I thought Junmyeon was staying at Jongdae’s tonight,” he mutters to his companion.
Ki-bum lets out a burst of laughter. “Babe, I told you we should have slept over at mine. C’mon, let them have the room,” he tugs impatiently at their linked hands.
Minho pouts. “You room is like, a fifteen minute walk away from here.”
“Yeah, and my roommate’s away for the week, so we can do whatever we want,” Ki-bum says smugly, eyes twinkling.
“I hate you,” Minho says, but his lips are curling upwards, and he backs out of the room quietly, and shuts the door.
♔♔♔
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
-Walt Disney