#291: gutter rats

[lordchen]

Prompt: #291
Title: gutter rats
Pairing: chen/sehun
Rating: nc 17
Warnings: barebacking, character death (not like that)
Word count: 23.1k
Summary: jongdae's a star that sehun's always reached for
Author's note: i took major creative liberties with this!!!

The little boy clutches his father's hand. It's papery thin and fragile, like the hospital bed sheets. He's too short to see, so he gets on his tiptoes to peer over the edges of the thin mattress to look at him. His father smiles weakly at him.

His mother is crying in the background and he's so confused because his mommy never cries. Why is his mommy crying? It's scary and he feels like crying too, taking deep, shuddering breaths.

Frail as they are, his father's fingers come down to stroke through his hair, ruffling it like he used to, before the big hospital with scary doctors, before his mommy smiled at him all bittersweet and told him he was such a big boy now. It's so nice your daddy gets to see you become a big boy.

Big boys don't cry but he heaves out a sob, shoulders shaking, because his daddy doesn't look okay. He hasn't looked okay in a while.

His father gestures out the window. It's surprisingly clear for a Seoul night, black with twinkling light, "Aren't the stars pretty tonight?" He nods because his daddy is mumbling again like he does sometimes.

"Remember to make a wish every night. Whatever you wish for on the first star you see, your wish will come true." He breaks out into a cough. His mother sobs louder, biting into her fist to muffle the cries. The boy looks out the window, sufficiently dazzled. He likes the stars very much.

He wishes each night, asking the stars to make his daddy better, to make his mommy stop being sad.

When they stop going to the hospital, he's confused. Where is his daddy now?

“With the stars,” his mother answers.

✩

Sehun's father had parked his crib in front of a window the day his mother had brought him back from the hospital. The toys dangling from the hanging mobile had consisted of plush sun and moon and clouds, but his chubby baby hands had grabbed for the stars the most.

"He's just like you," his mother had told his father once, amusedly. "Always reaching for the stars—he's got his head in the clouds."

They were happy and Sehun was happy. He was a cheerful kid, mischievous and playful.

Sehun only quieted down on those special Saturday nights when his father sat him down in his lap on their twelfth floor balcony, crickets chirping in the humid summer darkness.

His father traced out constellations, with his hand guiding Sehun's finger, whispering their stories into his ear. “This one's Cassiopeia, sitting on her throne upside down. She's being punished for claiming her daughter is the most beautiful in all the world. Her daughter, Andromeda, is chained over here to a rock by the sea for the monsters to ravage. That one's the hunter, Orion. Those three stars in a line make up his belt.”

Sehun had furrowed his brow, thinking, before turning around to pout. "I want a belt made of stars, too."

His father had ruffled his hair, chuckling. "But you aren't a constellation, Sehunnie."

"I want to be a constellation! How do I become a constellation?" Sehun's toddler mouth had stumbled over the big word.

"Well, you’re already made out of stardust," his father had responded, and he’d gaped in wonder. "We all are. But to become a constellation, you have to to do something special when you live so that when you die, you become immortalized in the sky."

Sehun had been confused, first asking, "What does immortalized mean?" then protesting, "But Mom says we go to heaven."

His father had scoffed and leaned in close, "Sehunnie, we can keep this a secret between you and me, alright?"

He had giggled, nodding in agreement, before hugging his dad around the neck.

The hunter, Orion, became Sehun's favorite bedtime story. He would press for more tales about his adventures, but the only one his father had to offer was the tale of Orion hunting the Great Bear across the night sky.

He fretted over their epic battle. "But who wins? What about the Little Bear? What will he do if his mom dies?"

Sehun had listened, enraptured, as his dad described their neverending struggle. Confused, he had asked, "So they never stop? Are they stuck like that forever?"

When his dad had nodded after musing over the question for a bit, Sehun sighed contemplatively, "I don't think I want to be a star after all."

Sehun's father had instilled in him an awe for the cosmic, and every night, after his mother had tucked him in with a kiss to his forehead, he would creep out of bed to sneak to the window. Drawing the curtains aside, he would search for constellations and the first star of the night and make a wish. A new toy truck and mint candies and more Saturday night stories with his dad.

Sehun didn't trust the stars for a long time after his father died and his mother became sad. Even though he missed gazing at them, they had failed him. His wish hadn't come true, and now he had no dad and a mom who was... empty.

He felt betrayed and lost. He had no hope to cling to, especially when he really needed it. The kids at school were vicious, clinging on to their dads after they were dropped off in the morning, those dads kissing their cheeks as Sehun looked away with stinging eyes.

Open house was the worst though, with their little projects and various assignments displayed proudly on their desks, classroom all prettied up. His classmates would grab onto the hands of both parents, proudly showing off the work they had done, while Sehun's mother, who had become frail, would smile faintly and ruffle her son's hair before suggesting they leave for home early.

Sehun didn't blame her, not really, because he missed his dad terribly too, but he worried when he heard muffled sobbing in the middle of the night. His mother loved him in her own way, he knew that, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't help feeling that she should just try to live a bit more, because she still had Sehun and Sehun needed her.

Sehun never wanted to upset her, so he never told her once when he was made fun of by the other kids. Comments made about his faded clothing and messy haircut, how he had to walk fives miles to get home, were whispered among the school children. It cut Sehun deep, but he acted like he always did, dealing with it in his own way by burying it into the recesses of his mind. They were easy to ignore during the day when it was bright and Sehun had chores and homework to do, but come night time when he was lying in bed, the quiet was suffocating. All he could think about was the way they taunted him, turning over their words in his head with anxiety.

The two of them would visit Sehun's father's grave often, leaving early in the morning, taking a bus to Mokdong Cemetery, bundled against the sharp morning air. His mother would stroke the small marble tombstone, until one of its corners became polished and gleaming from constant touch. Sehun was in charge of carrying the bouquet of flowers, which became increasingly smaller as his mother had a harder time supporting the two of them.

She had caught him carving a crude star into the marble once, with a rusty pocket knife he had found, and confiscated it without a word. Her disappointed air was enough, but Sehun was angry because his father loved the stars and he was bringing the stars to his father.

More often than not, Sehun would fall asleep under his window and wake up the next morning with a sore back and a crick in his neck. He didn't mind, though, because he always slept better with the stars keeping him company.

✩

"Sehun, listen."

Sehun looks up from where he's lying on his bed with his laptop in front of him and raises an eyebrow at his roommate, Jongin. "What?"

Jongin sits up, biting his lip. "I have something to tell you."

A little confused and panicking slightly, Sehun quickly turns over in his head anything shitty he's done recently. He hasn’t messed around with any of Jongin's things, hasn’t said anything he shouldn't have. But Jongin sees the look on Sehun's face and hastily continues, "I've gotten into the Korea National Ballet. Just the corps, but, wow."

Sehun's stunned for a second, then he laughs breathlessly. "Congratulations, man, I knew you could do it."

For a while now, Jongin had been talking about how desperately he'd wanted to get in, fretting over open auditions and callbacks. Getting in meant that Jongin would have to move away to live with the company, and at first Sehun selfishly wished he wouldn't make it. He had been the first person Sehun had been able to call a best friend, and he didn't want to lose him.

Jongin settles down next to Sehun, one arm carefully wrapping around his shoulder. "We can always text and meet up, and it's not like I'm going to be locked up in a dance studio forever."

It's something Jongin has always dreamed of, and Sehun is going to be happy for him. He smiles faintly and hugs Jongin, burying his suddenly stinging eyes in his shoulder. Sehun inhales the slight smell of sweat, breathing it in, and his moment of weakness is over before they break their embrace.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Sehun is used to reassuring people, this is something he's accustomed to doing and he falls back into old patterns.

Jongin still looks uncertain and Sehun wonders if his façade has gotten poorer with misuse. He usually doesn’t have to throw up a shield, not around Jongin, and it shows.

"Alright, then," Jongin says softly, "Maybe you should look around for a new roommate? I have to move in with the company in a couple of weeks."

Sehun doesn't want to; he doesn't want Jongin to leave, doesn't want to consider a new roommate. People always leave him and he should be used to it by now, but Jongin had been sweet and unassuming and Sehun had let him inside too far. He nods quickly, before congratulating Jongin again.

Jongin packs that afternoon, shoving all of his belongings into a couple of suitcases pushed into a corner. Jongin's side of the room had been neater than usual, clothes folded in preparation for getting packed away, and in retrospect, Sehun realises that he should've noticed earlier. He had been waited to break the news to Sehun, it seems. Sehun is so tired of it all and a little hurt because it meant that Jongin knew he wasn't going to take this well.

He's going to be nonchalant, to prove to himself and Jongin that he isn't as affected as he thinks. Sehun calls up Zitao, a coworker who had wormed his way into Sehun's heart, voice a little too discordant even to his own ears, telling Zitao to put the word around to his friends that he's looking for a new roommate. Zitao sounds worried over the phone and Sehun doesn't like it.

When night comes and Jongin is asleep, snoring softly in the bed next to him, Sehun memorizes that sound to save in his happier memories. He doesn't have that many of them, and he's drowning in his own sadness again. His breathing is speeding up while he panics, until finally he rolls out of bed in cold sweat and moves to sit by the window. The view here is obscured by a leafy tree and the smog from the city is hiding most of the sky. Sehun can still make out a few stars though, twinkling down at him, and he breathes a sigh of relief. He asks them in his head why people always seem to leave him and begs them to send him someone to relieve him of his loneliness. The stars don't reply—they never do—but last time he'd wished for someone, he had run into Jongin, so he trusts them a bit more now.

✩

Sehun dislikes astronomy. The knowledge takes the magic away, stripping the vast cosmos down to science. He doesn't want to know that he's seeing stars as they were 350 years ago, doesn't want to believe that the stars in his constellations are hundreds of light-years apart from each other in depth.

Sometimes he wonders what it would be like to take a rocket out into space for forever, to spend the rest of his life going away as far as possible. Would he regret it, never being able to come back? Or would he finally be happy among the stars?

When Sehun is nine, his heart breaks for the first time when he learns that stars die. A brilliant supernova, where they go out with a bang, but death nevertheless. Something as wonderful as a star shouldn't die.

✩

Jongin moves out two weeks later, but not before squeezing Sehun in a tight hug for five full minutes. He whispers in Sehun's ear, "You're strong, I know you are," and then he's gone, like everyone else in Sehun's life.

He hasn't had any luck in finding a roommate, or at least someone he's comfortable with. There have been a few who came to contact him, through Zitao, but they made Sehun uncomfortable in some way so he had skittered.

Sehun makes his way to the Kona Beans just off campus for his shift. He earns enough to get by, along with the monthly checks from his grandparents, though he's pretty sure Junmyeon always slips in a little bonus for his university student employees. This job had come as a recommendation through Zitao, for which Sehun will always be grateful for, and he's relatively comfortable working alongside these people. Zitao is endearingly childlike, Soojung friendly in her own cool manner, and Junmyeon kind with his soft voice and caring eyes. Sehun supposes that he can call them his friends.

Between brewing up frothy white chocolate mochas and messily scrawling names onto cup holders, Zitao strikes up a conversation with Sehun. He's casual about the whole thing, for which Sehun thanks him internally. "Found a roommate yet?"

Sehun shakes his head. "I'm not in a rush, though. Jongin has still covered his half of the rent for another couple of months," he reassures Zitao. Raising an eyebrow but nevertheless dropping the subject, Zitao washes his hands under the faucet spray before filling the next order.

When the number of customers slow down after the lunch mob, he leans against the cash register and Zitao reaches out to clasp his wrist gently. He looks up at Sehun behind his dyed bangs, eyes earnest. "You'll still keep in touch with him,” he says. “He’s not leaving, not really."

Sehun knows and he nods, before turning away to effectively cut the conversation short. He doesn't want to talk about this. He's fine, really. It's not about people leaving him, per se, but rather the reassuring presence of having Jongin around daily that is gone now. It gets lonely in the apartment at night and Sehun doesn't like being alone.

On the walk back home after the evening shift, the night is clear and Sehun turns his gaze skyward. The weather is hot and humid, the sound of honking and the sight of neon lights filling up his surroundings. It's summertime, shooting star season, and he searches for one to make a wish. If he's lucky, he might come across a meteor shower. There's none to be found but Sehun knows from experience that he'll come across one sooner or later.

When Sehun gets back, it's late and he sighs when he remembers he's come home to an empty apartment. He kicks his shoes off, before making his way to his bedroom. Sehun had already eaten some ddeok he had bought off a street vendor earlier, so he's not particularly hungry. He plans to just collapse into bed. He's tired and maybe if he falls asleep, he'll forget about the people that always leave him.

His door is ajar when he steps in, and the window is open wide, curtains billowing. Sehun furrows his brow in confusion because he's pretty certain he had closed both before he left for work earlier. It was hot out and he would've wanted to keep the air conditioner in. It's only when Sehun's gaze focuses on his bed that he gasps because—"What on Earth?"

There's a boy, fast asleep, tucked under the covers, which he had left somewhat haphazardly this morning. For a second, Sehun thinks it might be Jongin, but then he remembers that Jongin is gone now, that Jongin doesn't live here anymore.

The boy doesn't look like anyone Sehun knows, either. He's got soft curls, messy from sleep, and when he shifts Sehun takes in the slim profile of his straight nose and curled lips. His long eyelashes flutter open at Sehun's exclamation, and he blinks sleepily. When he sits up, Sehun almost takes a step back in shock, but then he's smiling at him beautifully in recognition and Sehun is so confused. What's going on?

He rolls off of the bed and walks unsteadily toward Sehun. The room is suffused with a soft glow and Sehun is really freaking out now. He's wearing Sehun's clothes, a Rolling Stones t-shirt and shorts that are much too big on him, and he stops before Sehun. The boy has to look up at him because he's tiny, and fuck, he's awfully pretty and Sehun is clueless around pretty people.

Biting his lip, he cups Sehun's cheek with one warm hand, Sehun flinching a bit from the touch. "Hello, Sehunnie."

And how does he know Sehun's name? Sehun's anxiety is creeping up his spine and his vision is feathering at the corners and he's worried and what's going on and who is this beautiful boy with a funny accent who was sleeping in Sehun's bed—

✩

It's uncomfortably warm when Sehun wakes up, blankets pulled up to his chin. There's a furnace attached to his side, smooth skin at his fingertips when he brushes at it, half-asleep.

Their legs are tangled together, his pretty lips pressed against Sehun's skin. When Sehun blinks sleep away blearily, he's met with the other boy's half-lidded eyes framed with thick eyelashes. He waves his hand in front of Sehun's eyes a couple of times, patting his forehead with his palm. "Sehunnie, are you going to pass out again?"

Sehun's voice is hoarse as he croaks out, "God, who are you?"

He blushes, before shifting closer to Sehun. "Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself." Resting his head on Sehun's chest, until his hair is curling into Sehun's nose, he continues, "I'm part of what is 'Alpha Centauri' in English. The Chinese call me tian chen de xin xin, the star of dawn, but you can just call me... Chen." The boy scrunches his nose before continuing, "It's ridiculous, in my opinion. Depending on the tilt of the Earth and how far it has revolved around the Sun, any star could be a star of dawn, not just me."

Sehun has no clue what's going on, white noise ringing in his ears. "The star of dawn? What?" He's feeling faint again.

Chen nods, clarifying for him brightly, "I'm a star."

And Sehun wants to laugh hysterically, wondering why there's a lunatic in his room, but there's something in the way that Chen carries himself that makes him think twice. His accent that Sehun can't quite place, the way he walks unsteadily, or the light that he seems to be emitting even now, pressed against Sehun's chest. Sehun pulls his hand in front of his face to examine, touching his small fingers gently. Chen's got soft skin that looks perfectly normal when Sehun's looking at it head on, but when he turns to glance at him from his peripheral, he can sense the faint glow.

"Aren't stars huge, burning balls of gas, though?" Sehun inquires in his most level voice. He didn't like learning about that in school, but he knows how to be practical. This might be considered encouragement for the boy to carry out his farce, but Sehun's brain isn't supplying any other words. Right now, it feels like he's floating through space, feeling the kind of calm someone feels before they go into shock.

Chen hums enthusiastically, happy to see that Sehun isn't about to lose consciousness again. "This is just the form I've taken here on Earth, my manifest. I'm still out there,"—he gestures toward the window—"but I'm here with you too," he taps Sehun's chest.

Rolling over so he's lying next to Sehun, side by side, he peers out the glass. "You have such a nice view from here," he compliments. "We look so small, though."

This is actually not happening. Sehun breathes sharply through his nose. "Alright, say I believe you. How do you know my name? Why are you here?"

"You're Sehunnie, and I'm here to make you not lonely," Chen explains. It sounds like something he's practiced saying. He sits up to bounce on the bed, proud of himself for his answer.

"Don't—please don't call me that," Sehun says quietly. The only person who ever called him that nickname was his father.

Chen looks crestfallen. "Sorry, Sehunnie—Sehun."

Sehun focuses on anything but the obvious question. He's clad in the shirt he was wearing earlier, but his pants are strewn on the floor. "Did you put me to bed?"

"Yeah, after you—passed out, I brought you here. I wasn't sure what to do." Chen is speaking quickly, eager to explain. "And, ah, sorry, I borrowed your clothes," he says, fingering the loose shirt. "I didn't have anything to wear."

Sehun shakes his head almost automatically. "It's fine," he reassures Chen. The shirt has its sides cut away and Sehun is trying to look anywhere but at Chen's smooth skin underneath.

Chen looks around the room, taking in Sehun's sparse accommodations. Getting up to flick the light switch curiously, he flinches and Sehun recoils as the room is washed in bright light. He turns off the light, mumbles an apology, and retreats to the bed to wrap himself up in a cocoon of blankets.

"You're here to make me... less lonely?" Sehun questions finally, and Chen hums affirmatively. He's sniffing at Sehun's comforter and Sehun is left wondering if he's ever done anything in that bed to leave behind a scent that he should be ashamed of. "Sorry, but, why me? What makes me special out of the billions of people on the Earth?"

Tilting his head as he thinks for a bit, Chen says, "Well, nobody wished on a star as much as you did. Anyway, who says there aren't other stars on your planet right now just like me? For all you know, half the people you've met are manifests, made out of starlight." And for all his attitude as he explains, he finishes softly: "And who says you aren't special, Sehunnie—Sehun?"

He yawns, careening off the subject happily before Sehun can sputter out a reply. "Human bodies are so limiting. I'm so tired. Let's sleep, Sehun, and we can talk more in the morning."

Sehun does not want to sleep with a complete stranger in his house, but Chen is clasping Sehun's wrist, spreading the blankets over them, then nuzzling into Sehun's side. Sehun is too weak and confused by the whole situation to protest, instead succumbing to sleep. For once, his night is peaceful and uninterrupted by half-formed nightmares filled with loneliness, albeit a lot more warmer than usual.

✩

By the next morning, Sehun has decided that he might as well keep Chen around, or at least not turn him in to the police, despite what he claims to be. It definitely has nothing to do with the way Chen's eyelashes curl against his cheek while he sleeps, or the way his lips part as he breathes out on every exhale. He's much too pretty—innocent-looking to be a mass murderer or lunatic escaped from prison, by Sehun’s judgement. And deranged star story or not, he's keeping Sehun from being alone in his apartment for the time being.

Sehun's serving up porridge with a packet of kimchi and hard-boiled eggs when Chen wanders into the kitchen sleepily. The first question out of his mouth—"Sehun, we are in Korea, right?"—throws him off a bit.

"Uh, yeah. Why the sudden question?" He sets the food down on his tiny dining table and gestures for Chen to sit alongside.

"My name is Chinese, though, and that's to the west. I should... assimilate better." Chen is frowning down at the porridge, before picking up the chopsticks clumsily to eat a slice of kimchi. "I need a new name."

He suddenly looks at Sehun, the clear gaze of his eyes freezing Sehun in place and laying him open. "Your old roommate was named Kim Jongin, right?"

Sehun can't do anything but nod, his chest giving a painful twinge as Chen speaks his name. It's odd and slightly creepy too, how much Chen seems to know about him.

"I want to be called... Kim Jongdeok." And all of a sudden, Sehun is bursting out into surprised laughter, even with some egg in his mouth, at Chen's childlike decisive air and the ridiculously old-fashioned, uptight sounding name.

Chen looks offended, and Sehun masks his laugh with a cough. "I don't think it really suits you,” he says.

Resting his chin on his hand as he thinks again, Chen proclaims, "Fine, then. Kim Jongdae, I like the sound of that. It sounds like 'day' in the English language."

Sehun decides to humor him. "Jongdae it is," he says. He can't help but be touched by the way Chen—Jongdae is so eager to fill up the space Jongin has left behind.

He stands up to bring his finished plate to the sink, Jongdae's eyes following him curiously. Sitting back down, this time facing Jongdae, he begins, "Let's finish our conversation from last night, okay? There's still so much I don't get. You're a star who came to Earth to keep me company—why me again?"

Jongdae sighs, "I've said so already. You were lonely, you asked the stars for help, you have a good track record of being nice about wishes so they sent me over here, and boy, I came a long way."

He continues talking, but Sehun holds up a hand to stop him, in order to process the information. Jongdae pauses, looking at him in curiosity, before pressing his palm to Sehun's. "Your fingers are much longer than mine," he notes, as Sehun flinches away from his touch.

Jongdae shifts his questioning gaze, and Sehun shakes his head. Changing the subject with a cough, he asks, "They? Who are they?"

"The older stars, the ones in charge, who have been around the longest."

"Okay... How old are you, then?" Sehun is a little afraid of the answer.

Jongdae adopts his thinking face again, which consists of a slight pout on his thin lips and furrowed eyebrows. "In Earth years?" he asks, and Sehun nods. Raising his hands to count on his fingers for a period of time, Jongdae finally answers, "Six... billion, give or take?"

Sehun gapes. "Wow, um, that's a very... long time."

Smiling, Jongdae shakes his head, further messing up his curls. "It's not the same, it feels much different from how you humans measure it. 'Time' is more fluid, in a sense."

Running his hand through his hair, Sehun debates laughing hysterically because this boy who doesn't look a day over 24 is sitting at his dingy kitchen table, talking about an existence longer than that of his planet. "If you aren't old, then who is?"

"Minseok, I think? He's about six thousand light-years away from here and he's, like, 13.6 billion years old."

Sehun has no idea how to even grasp the concept of that length of time. Suddenly, a thought comes to his mind and he voices it aloud. "You said you were a part of Alpha Centauri, though? Isn't that just a star?"

Jongdae is craning his head back, examining the popcorn roof of Sehun's kitchen with interest, chair leaned back slightly. He glances at Sehun down his nose, face still tipped towards the ceiling. "I'm disappointed, Sehunnie. I thought you would be more knowledgeable."

Settling back down on the chair, he continues, "Baekhyun and I just look like one star to the naked human eye, but we're actually a binary star system. In fact, we're pretty similar to your Sun. And Kyungsoo, which you guys have named 'Proxima Centauri,' is an old red dwarf that makes his way around us every hundred thousand years."

Sehun remembers now. Alpha Centauri, a star system that is one of the closest to the Earth and brightest in the night sky. "Isn't there an exoplanet orbiting your star system, too? Someplace terrestrial?"

"I wouldn't notice, to be honest. Planets are so boring. They don't even glow." Jongdae reaches out to stroke a finger along the grain of the wood table absentmindedly. It's very much worn away and polished down, but Sehun still worries about splinters embedding themselves into his skin. "Your Sun finds you all very dull. She only pays attention to Saturn—although, between you and me, I think it's because he's got such nice rings."

And Sehun feels like he's going through some sort of existential crisis, listening to Jongdae talk like this. He's feeling jittery as he asks, "So, the other star in your system, he's called Baekhyun?"

"Yeah, we've been together for a long time," Jongdae smiles wistfully. His crinkled eyes have Sehun's heart stuttering. "He's here too, but across the sea to the west, I think? Kyungsoo's on a different planet. Baekhyun has his own person, like you for me. Cute, too."

Fidgeting because Jongdae has just implied that he's cute, Sehun asks, "Why are you guys here? Is it a regular thing or like a punishment?"

That startles a laugh out of Jongdae. "Definitely not a punishment. More like a reward, except we're killing two birds with one stone by fulfilling wishes." He beams proudly, literally, as the room seems to get brighter. "Look! I used an idiom. I studied really hard before coming here."

Sehun bites his lip. "So, is there like a waiting list for people you decide to help?"

"Yeah, and you ended up being mine, Sehunnie." Jongdae reaches out to touch his face again. "I like you a lot, though."

Whenever Jongdae calls him 'Sehunnie,' he jolts. Sehun almost reminds him to cut it out, but then pauses at the thought of his crestfallen face. "Okay, then, how long will you be staying?" Sehun is half afraid to hear the answer.

Jongdae pales slightly, eyes widening. "I'm not—I'm never going back."

"Wait, for real? You're just going to hang around here forever?" Sehun's heart skips a beat.

"Kind of..." Jongdae trails off, looking like he's at a loss. "As long as you want me here, I guess. As long as you need me."

And Sehun would scoff, because he doesn't need anyone, but Jongdae's company has already been a lifeline to him on what would've been a lonely morning. Instead, he says, "I don't know about that, I mean, I'll have to feed you and I'm always strapped for cash."

Jongdae finishes up his entire bowl of porridge and looks like he's about to go for one more. Almost gaping at the way he's shoveling in food, Sehun wordlessly rips open another packet of kimchi for him. His thin frame contradicts with his voracious appetite and Sehun wonders for a moment if stars are even supposed to eat at all.

Finally, Jongdae stands and brings his bowl to the sink, carefully copying what Sehun did earlier. "I promise I won't be a bother. I could... get a job? I don't want to be a burden, I'm supposed to be here to help you." He gives Sehun a pitiful look from underneath his eyelashes and Sehun weakens.

"You can stay, for now, but that's only because Jongin—my roommate moved out and I've got an extra bed." Sehun tries to convince himself that he's giving in so easily not because Jongdae is so pretty but because he has a heart and couldn't possibly turn him out to the streets. "You'll have to pay for the rent, though, and start providing for yourself somehow."

Jongdae nods vigorously. "I can do that. I'll figure it out."

Sehun stands up, pushing his chair back, and walks out of his tiny kitchen, beckoning for Jongdae to follow. He points down the hall, to the bathroom. "Alright, question, do you know how to use the toilet?"

Mildly offended, Jongdae sniffs, "Of course." He pushes Sehun out of his path and makes his way to the bathroom.

Only when he's fumbling at his waistband, about to pull his shorts down, does Sehun flush and jerk out of place. "Whoa, okay, door closed."

Jongdae shuts the door, pouting, and Sehun makes out his muffled words through the partition. "Humans and their aversion to nakedness—I don't get it."

A full minute later, he emerges, disgruntled, and Sehun struggles to keep his smile in check, "Problem flushing?"

"Shut it," Jongdae hisses at him. His shirt is haphazardly tucked into the shorts and before he can stop himself, Sehun reaches over to straighten them out.

"Do stars need to shower?" Sehun inquires as innocuously as possible.

Still frowning, Jongdae replies, "As long as I'm in this ridiculous body, yes. Do you have towels and washing things? I feel gross."

Sehun grabs a striped towel from where it's hanging on the back of a chair. It's still slightly damp and he curses himself for being a slob while flapping it a few times. Jongdae watches him curiously and Sehun leads him back to his bathroom.

Pointing out the shapeless bottles of shampoo and the bar of body soap, Sehun teaches Jongdae how to turn the dial for hot water and pull the knob up for the shower. Jongdae has settled on the ground and is busy brushing a fingertip along the surface of the water as the tub fills up, entranced by the rippling effect. "Hey, Jongdae, are you listening to me?" Sehun says.

Jongdae blinks at him. "Yeah, yes I was. Do you think I could shower with cold water?"

Sehun is taken aback. "I mean, it's going to be really freezing. Will you be okay?"

Jongdae laughs, the infectious sound tugging at the corners of Sehun's lips. "I'm so hot all the time, though. It wouldn't hurt me."

Choking at his words, Sehun wonders briefly if it would be rude to tell Jongdae to study Korean a bit more. He replies, "If you want to, I guess?"

He folds the towel as best as he knows how and places it on the toilet seat next to the shower, then proceeds to exit the small space. "I'll grab some clothes for you, give me a sec." Jongdae nods assent, sitting cross-legged beside the tub like a child and splashing the water.

Sehun makes his way down the hall and leans against the wall to breathe deeply for a bit. There's a complete stranger in his apartment, someone who he had just agreed to room with. He's mildly panicking and attempts to takes his mind off of things by stalking down to his room and scowling at the state of his closet. There are clothes tossed everywhere and the laundry basket is filled to the top and emitting a faint odor. Fumbling through a stack of sweats, he grabs the cleanest pair and then a baggy crewneck. He frowns at the thought of Jongdae's tiny frame, before deciding that nothing could be done about it. Maybe he could take Jongdae clothes shopping on his meager paycheck as a sort of 'Welcome to Earth' gift. Sehun shakes his head in an attempt to get rid of this train of thought.

He brings the stack of clothes back and deposits it next to the towel. Jongdae is still busy running his hands through the water, looking up at Sehun with a grin. When Sehun leans over him to touch the water too, he jerks at the cold temperature.

Jongdae laughs before standing up. "Thank you for the clothes, Sehunnie. If you're as uncomfortable with nakedness as you seem to be, you should get out."

Sehun flees, shutting the door behind him. Behind him, he can hear Jongdae calling, "I wouldn't mind if you stayed though!" Jongdae has no clue what he's talking about, he tells himself.

When he emerges a half hour later, clad in Sehun's baggy clothing, his hair is dripping into his eyes and his curls are straightened with damp. It's only when he settles down on the sofa next to Sehun, bouncing slightly, does Sehun realize he's fucked up. "Uh, Jongdae. I think I forgot to give you, um, a piece of clothing."

Jongdae looks down at himself, confused, "I'm all covered up, though." He pats himself down in an adorable display.

Blushing furiously now, Sehun jumps up off the sofa to his room to retrieve a clean pair of boxers for Jongdae. It makes him a little uncomfortable, because those underpants have touched his dick and oh God, now they're going to be touching Jongdae's. Do stars have dicks?

"Put these on." He tosses it onto Jongdae's lap and points gruffly to the bathroom again. "In there."

Jongdae laughs, a bright sound, and complies.

That night, Sehun shows Jongdae to Jongin's old room. It's empty, the walls bare and faded except for spots where Jongin had hung his Vocaloid posters, and Sehun's chest aches a bit. He makes Jongdae sleep there, even when he pouts at him and protests, because Sehun's bed is definitely not big enough for both of them.

Jongdae parks himself at the window before Sehun exits the room. He wrinkles his nose as he looks out at the sky. "This is awful. I can't see half the stars; it's such a shame," he says, turning his gaze to Sehun. "Sehunnie, I was kind of wondering, why would you let me stay so easily? I was prepared for it to be a lot more difficult than this."

Sehun chokes a bit. He's wondering the same thing too, if he's being completely honest. He starts, "Well, I think I've always cared about stars more than the average person." Pausing to slit his eyes at him, Sehun continues, "You'll still have to convince me a bit more though."

✩

The next day is Sunday and Sehun has a day off work, which he decides to spend taking Jongdae shopping. Jongdae wearing baggy clothing around the apartment is definitely not going to work out, especially when he leans over during breakfast and Sehun can see all the way down. He schools him, first, on how to behave in public. Star or not, Jongdae acts in a manner that just seems off.

"You can't talk about anything weird, first of all, and don't do weird things either," Sehun paces in front of the sofa as Jongdae lies on it, carefully examining the lint.

"Like? I don't think I say or do anything weird."

"Of course you don't. Like, what you're doing right now. Getting fascinated by every little thing. And talking about stars. Or planets. Anything humans wouldn't discuss." Sehun hopes he got his point across. He can imagine the looks of passerby if Jongdae suddenly says something along the lines of, I think Neptune has the prettiest color out of all of the Sun's planets, but she likes Mars more, I don't get it, or randomly picks up a pebble to inspect.

He catches Jongdae's wrist when Jongdae absentmindedly reaches out to stroke a lock of Sehun's hair. "And, oh yeah, no touching."

"Why not?" Jongdae sits up to frown at him disapprovingly.

"Because you and I don't know each other that well yet. It's awkward. And... we're both guys."

Jongdae looks, really perplexed now. "Am I not allowed to touch you if I'm a boy?"

And Sehun is shoving everything back to the recesses if his mind, where he hides his thoughts of Jongin's laughter. "Just don't do it."

He refuses to speak more on the subject, even as Jongdae prods his arm when he's lacing up his shoes. Jongdae huffs, before he slips into a pair of boots to follow Sehun out the door. They're much too big for him, like everything he's wearing, and he walks clumsily to the elevator.

The streets in Sehun's part of town are mostly quiet, broken only by the sound of laundry flapping on poles in the breeze. Their nearest subway station is a couple of blocks down, which Jongdae spends gaping at the sights and sounds.

As they're walking, Sehun strikes up a conversation, even though he's terrible at this sort of thing. "So, tell me, how did you get into my bed? I swear the window was closed."

Jongdae beams. "Well, light reaches your windowsill, right? And wherever my starlight hits, I can go."

"Even now?"

"Ah, no. I'm a manifest now, I can't go anywhere else. Also, I remember, your bed was the most comfortable, so I fell asleep waiting for you to get back. I thought you'd already be home."

"Sorry, I was at work," Sehun apologizes.

All interested now, Jongdae says, "Ah, with Zitao and Junmyeon at the place where you make drinks for people, right?"

"Uh, yeah. How did you know that?" Sehun is a little creeped out again. How is he sure that Jongdae is not some fanatical stalker that he’s somehow acquired?

Jongdae hits his arm. "I told you, Sehunnie. I studied before coming here. That includes you. You're my main subject."

"What, do stars keep a file on each person? Is that where you put our track records?" Sehun's defense mechanism flies over Jongdae's head.

"No, I was just observing on the way here." Jongdae seems to have endless patience for Sehun's questions, explaining even though he rolls his eyes.

Sehun grunts, before leading Jongdae down the stairway to the subway station. One of Jongdae's hands clench the rail, knuckles white, as he makes his way down the steps.

He pauses halfway. Jongdae is breathing hard and he's awfully pale, and Sehun looks up at him questioningly from where he's already arrived at the bottom of the stairwell.

"Se—Sehunnie? I don't think I want to go down there."

Sehun is confused. "Why not? You were perfectly fine just earlier."

Clutching the stair rail with both hands as if to a lifeline, Jongdae breathes sharply through his nose. "It's cutting me off from the sky. I—I can't do it, I can't go down there."

A sudden thought occurs to Sehun. "Jongdae, are you... claustrophobic?"

He goes back up the steps as Jongdae asks shakily, "What does that mean?"

"Like, afraid of tight spaces." It makes perfect sense in Sehun's head, all of a sudden. As a star, Jongdae would be accustomed to wide open space, light-years of it. Certainly going underground would terrify him. He berates himself then, because he's believing Jongdae's outlandish star story.

Nevertheless, Sehun allows Jongdae to grab onto his arm, and Jongdae answers, "Never thought of it before but yeah, I guess so."

Familiar with how to deal with anxieties, Sehun guides Jongdae down while speaking softly. "Hey, don't worry. Deep breaths, focus on me."

Jongdae's hand slides down until he's holding on to Sehun's tightly, their fingers interlocked. Sehun has half a mind to shake his grip off, but up close Jongdae's pupils are dilated and his breathing is rapid so he holds himself back.

Sehun is aware of the fact that they look like a couple, but he doesn't let go until they reach the gate. Looking a little better than before, Jongdae stares with wide eyes as Sehun pulls his MetroPass out from his wallet to press against the turnstile sensor. He jumps when it emits a beep and Sehun walks through, pushing the bar. Now waiting on the other side, Sehun reaches over to hand Jongdae the card, explaining, "Here, just press it against that circle like I did and when it beeps, walk through."

Jongdae takes it and obeys, taking a few tries with the sensor but finally stepping through the turnstile and startling a bit when the bar locks into place with a click after he's through. There's cold air conditioner down at the subway station but a faint smell of underground still permeates the air.

As they wait on the platform, the subway train arrives, starting with a faint shaking that goes on until it shudders to a stop in front of them. It's fairly empty for a Sunday morning and Sehun chooses seats in the corner. There's an elderly couple next to them, some men their age chatting at the other end of the coach. Sehun bristles slightly when he senses them appraising him, looking at him up and down, then staring unabashedly at Jongdae. It's then that he looks at Jongdae, really looks, and his breath catches because Jongdae is incredibly attractive, slim build and cheekbones and mussed-up hair and all. Jongdae doesn't seem to notice the looks of the young men or the possessive way Sehun yanks him down on the seat next to him. He's clueless as ever, instead pressing his nose against the window as they pull out of the well-lit station and into the dark subway tunnel.

They've got eleven stops until they arrive at Myeongdong so Sehun slouches in the seat, but Jongdae sits straight up, all tense, next to him. He starts talking softly, while pulling one of Sehun's hands to his lap. "Sehun? I'm sorry for freezing up earlier."

Sehun laughs and allows Jongdae to play with his fingers. He's really letting his guard down around this guy, for some reason. "It's fine, it wasn't your fault or anything. Either way, I think you handled it pretty well."

Jongdae beams at him and Sehun's throat is suddenly dry, "I studied a lot, but I didn't learn anything about 'claustrophobia.'" He sits back in his seat to look at the subway compartment around them. "Are these... vehicles a recent invention? I don't remember learning about them, either."

"Um, I have no clue at all." Sehun really doesn't know, but even if he did, he would have had trouble explaining because Jongdae is unconsciously tracing circles into Sehun's palm with a finger. His touch is feather-light and Sehun's nerves are tingling, but he resists the urge to pull away. "They're called subways, kind of like trains but underground," he offers as helpfully as he can, sucking in a breath. Jongdae's touch is so distracting and he doesn't seem to realize what he's doing.

The subway slows to a stop, crowds of people exiting and entering. A group of old grandmothers with colorful, decorative fans for traditional dance catch Jongdae's interested gaze for a second, but then he's back to staring at Sehun.

"It's my job to take care of you and protect you but you're the one comforting me, I feel bad," he frowns, still playing with Sehun's hands. "I'll study more, make myself more useful to you." Jongdae looks determined before he sighs and leans his head on Sehun's shoulder, closing his eyes. They definitely look like a couple now, Sehun thinks to himself, but he smirks when he catches the disappointed looks of the young men who were eyeing Jongdae earlier.

When they arrive, Sehun stands up and Jongdae follows, swaying unsteadily on his feet as the coach comes to a stop. Jongdae has resumed his death grip on Sehun's hand but he can't bring himself to mind, only pulling him to the exit staircase.

As they ascend the staircase, Jongdae seems to visibly relax next to him. He laughs aloud, letting go of Sehun's hand to spin with arms outstretched as they return back to the streets. "Ah, this is so nice."

He's cute, with a sort of childlike air, and Sehun smiles to see him like this. "Sorry about that earlier. How are you feeling?"

"Much better. It's so... open." Jongdae hums. "So, where are we going?"

"We're in Myeongdong. I thought we could do a bit of clothes shopping for you."

Frowning, Jongdae hooks his arm onto Sehun's, attaching himself to Sehun's side. "You don't have to, I mean. I'm fine wearing what I am now."

"I want to, and those clothes are much too big for you. I'm surprised the hems of those jeans aren't dragging on the ground."

Jongdae huffs irritably. "I'm not that short, shut up."

He glares when Sehun laughs out loud. "If you say so. Hey, are all your star friends the same height as you?"

"I said, shut up!" Jongdae frowns before he's momentarily distracted as they pass a line of street food vendors, sausages and sliced potatoes sizzling on grills. "Wow, look at this," he exclaims, inhaling deeply. "It smells good."

Sehun rolls his eyes. "I am not buying any food for you. How are you hungry already after eating so much for breakfast?" He chides himself a bit for how comfortable he's feeling. Jongdae is so easy to talk to, easy to tease.

"I've got a healthy appetite, leave me alone." Jongdae points to a sign overhead, attention already drifting. "What does noraebang mean?"

"Karaoke. You sing songs in little rooms."

Jongdae looks confused. "But I can just sing wherever. What's the point?"

"Well it's, like, fancy, with microphones and laser lights and big screens." Sehun pauses for a moment. "Wait, you can sing?"

"Yeah." Jongdae opens his mouth and he looks like he's about to burst into song in the middle of the street, amid all these people, and Sehun claps a hand over his mouth.

"Whoa—not here. You can show me when we get home." Sehun doesn't realize he's said 'home' until he's done talking.

Jongdae struggles a bit in his grip but beams when Sehun lets go. "You said 'we,' meaning my home too, meaning I can stay?"

Sehun's heart skips a beat and he grunts in faux nonchalance. "We still need to talk more about it but—yeah, for now." He really can't get rid of Jongdae now, and impossible as his story may seem, it's the only thing that somewhat accounts for Jongdae's behavior.

Looking around before pulling him into the nearest clothes shop, Sehun looks at the clothing on the tacks critically. Everything's cheap but cheaply made and he fingers the tacky material of a pair of shorts, frowning, before he strides out. Jongdae trails after him.

Sehun sighs as they walk down the busy street. "Looks like I need to splurge a bit on you. I hope you feel guilty."

Jongdae nods, looking alarmed. "I'll make sure to pay you back for everything."

"Yeah? I'll charge interest too. Okay, let's go shopping somewhere expensive then," Sehun says, grinning.

The next shop they go into is in a large supermall. Sehun's given up on trying to shake Jongdae off from clinging on to him. It's nice, kind of. He can see why Jongdae seems to like physical touch so much. It's reassuring.

The girl working inside the boutique bows when they walk in and giggles a bit when she looks at them. Jongdae smiles and bows in return. It's irritating Sehun because, yeah, he gets that Jongdae is sort of really pretty, but maybe people could be a little more discreet about it? Suddenly, he doesn't feel as finicky about Jongdae clutching onto his arm. It gives him a feeling of possessiveness.

Sehun goes straight to the section of the store labelled 'SALE' and pushes through the racks of clothes. He glances at Jongdae critically, who is busy examining the spare buttons attached to the tags of some coats. Jongdae is definitely, like, the smallest size of everything. Sehun grumbles under his breath, "So, do stars have a limited supply of starlight or something?"

Jongdae snaps to attention to shove him. "Stop being mean about my manifest. I liked you better when you were quiet and not being mean to me." He seems to realize the sting in his words and looks taken aback. "Not that I want you to be quiet, I mean. This is fine."

Sehun returns to browsing the racks, a smile toying on the corners of his lips. It's kind of cute, how Jongdae is trying so hard to please him. He selects two pairs of jeans, one a light wash and the other black, and raises them to Jongdae's legs to look at him appraisingly. They seem fine and awfully skinny, so Sehun hands them over for Jongdae to carry.

After he grabs a pile of t-shirts, he asks Jongdae, "Which ones do you like?"

Jongdae peers at them and shrugs. "They all look fine to me."

"We’re only getting three, pick your favorites."

"I don't have any, though."

Sehun bristles, glaring at him jokingly. "Are you trying to say that you don't like any of the ones I picked for you?"

Jongdae backs up. "What, no. I like them all equally," he says nervously. He doesn't seem to realize that Sehun is messing with him and instead blinks rapidly, panicking.

"Why must you make my life difficult?" Sighing, Sehun pretends to look dejected as Jongdae wobbles next to him.

"Okay, I changed my mind. Ah, I like the blue one and these two." Jongdae points out three shirts quickly and Sehun smiles, victorious.

"Great, let's get these checked out."

The lady at the cash register coos at them and says, "Couples that shop together are so cute!"

Sehun breaks into a coughing fit. "Uh, we aren't dating."

Jongdae frowns in confusion and pulls Sehun down while standing up on his tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "What does 'dating' mean? I don't know this word."

His actions only seem to make the lady giggle more as she hands Sehun a bag with the clothes and waves them off.

Only when they're out of earshot does Sehun explain, "It's like when two people like each other and—um, I'm bad at explaining."

Swinging the shopping bag around in one hand, Jongdae bounces on the balls of his feet. "But I like you. Sehunnie, don't you like me, too?"

"I literally only just met you yesterday. I need to get to know you better." He balks at Jongdae's crestfallen expression and says quickly, "I kinda like you so far, though."

Jongdae perks up. "Okay, well, I'm going to work really hard to make you like me more."

Sehun's cheeks are tinged a little bit pink when they walk into a Vans store next, for socks and shoes. His wallet is feeling lighter already and he's not exactly sure why he's doing this, but he makes for a rack of slip-ons on the expensive side. "Take your shoes off, then stand on that footprint on the floor and tell me your size."

Jongdae wobbles while kicking his boots off and clutches Sehun's shoulder to keep himself up. He's even shorter without them on and Sehun stifles a laugh.

Stepping on to the mat with shoe sizes carefully and aligning his heel with the outline of a foot on the ground, Jongdae peers down at the ground. "It looks like a 250?"

"That's tiny, wow." Sehun stares at him. "You're, like, miniature. Do they even sell shoes in that size?"

"Stop," Jongdae whines. He crosses his arms. "I don't think I like you very much anymore."

Sehun ignores him and picks up a nice pair of simple white slip-ons and calls a salesman to grab them in Jongdae's size for Jongdae to try on. They fit well but Sehun glances at him critically. He's not sure about how tight they're going to get if Jongdae wears socks along with them, and he has no way of finding out.

Sighing, he pulls them off of Jongdae's feet and tosses them back into the shoebox. "Let's just get these, then. We can always return them if they don't work out."

Jongdae nods and follows him to the cash register line. Along the way, Sehun grabs a bundle of white socks, and Jongdae peers at a rack curiously. "How come we're not getting the shoes with strings?"

"You mean shoelaces? I wasn't sure if you knew how to tie a knot." It's so easy to tease Jongdae and Sehun finds that he can't stop.

Huffing, Jongdae prods his arm. "I could learn. It'll be part of the whole human experience."

"You going to make a to-do list or something?"

"That's a good idea, I will." Jongdae looks excited, like a child, at the prospect.

Sehun pays for the shoes, then hands the shopping bag over for Jongdae to carry. "Actually, I think you should change right now. You look like you're about to trip in those oversized boots any minute now."

"It's not my fault your feet are so huge," Jongdae retorts, while Sehun leads him to a restroom.

Pointing to a stall, Sehun directs, "Just go in there and change. Make sure to lock the door behind you.

Jongdae sighs and walks past him to change. Leaning against the wall, Sehun wrinkles his nose at the bathroom odor. It smells nasty and he glances up at the ceiling blearily. Shopping is always tiring but he admits to himself he's been having a good day with Jongdae's company.

He hears the stall open and sniffs, wanting to pinch his nose. "Let's get out of here, it's so—um."

Jongdae looks really good. The thin cotton shirt hugs the slim lines of Jongdae's body, the curve of his waist. His jeans are tight on his legs and Sehun is having trouble tearing his gaze away. Maybe he shouldn't have chosen such form-fitting clothes for Jongdae.

Shifting self-consciously under Sehun's gaze, Jongdae looks down at himself. "What? What's wrong?"

"I—uh, nothing. Time to get home."

Jongdae bounces lightly on the balls of his feet, in his new Vans. "These are really nice. Thank you so much, Sehunnie."

Sehun coughs. "No problem. Let's get going."

He can't help but take in the sight of Jongdae in his new clothes, how good he looks, and Sehun almost trips at least three times on the way back to the subway station. Stopping up short right above the entrance staircase, he curses, "Fuck, underground, right."

Biting his lip, Jongdae touches his arm. "It's fine, I can handle it." He's already breathing a little faster though, eyes flicking down to the tunnel and away in anxiety.

"We can just take a taxi, it's okay."

"Yeah? Okay, I guess—If you want to." There's a blatant look of relief on Jongdae's face and Sehun berates himself for scaring him.

Sehun smiles and strides to the curb, where he flags down a passing cab. Motioning for Jongdae to get in before him, he climbs in after placing the bags inside.

Rattling off his address to the driver, Sehun leans over to help Jongdae who is fumbling with the seatbelt. Jongdae pushes his hand away, "I can figure it out."

"If you say so." It's kind of cute, the way Jongdae pushes at the lock, brow furrowed, before it clicks and he looks back up at Sehun triumphantly. "Look!"

"Good job." Sehun can't help but smile at him.

When the taxi arrives in front of Sehun's apartment, he opens his wallet and pulls out the rest of his cash. It's almost completely empty and Jongdae frowns at him after they're at the curb. "You shouldn't have spent so much money on me."

"What? It's fine, don't worry about it."

"I feel terrible. I need to get a job so I can pay you back."

Honestly, Sehun has no clue what sort of job Jongdae could possibly work, but he saves it for later and instead moves around him to unlock the door.

After a dinner of take-out, Sehun sits, full and content, on the sofa as Jongdae dozes off next to him.

Jongdae cracks one eye open. "You wanna hear more stories? I know you're curious."

Sehun scoffs, and he has half a mind to tell Jongdae to go back to sleep, but he doesn't reject the idea. Jongdae's chatter keeps the apartment lively.

It's dark out, the TV flickering mutedly, and Jongdae hums. "Well, I can tell you some more about our history."

"Go on."

"First off—being a star, it's a punishment. For something that happened long, long ago."

Sehun is surprised. "Really? My dad always told me it was because you did something great, to be immortalized in the sky as a star."

Jongdae smiles at him sadly. "I wish. It's our eternal punishment. We need to watch everything go on around us but we can't do anything about it."

Sehun pauses, a little confused. "You're here with me now, though?"

"Yeah, but I'm about to—this is something different, Sehunnie. Shut up and listen."

It's piquéd Sehun's interest. "What are you being punished for?"

"No one knows. It's something we did too long ago." Jongdae has adopted a spooky tone. "The oldest of us are sick of it all but the younger ones still wonder."

"What do you think happened?"

"I've got no clue. It must have been something terrible, though. It's the worst thing ever though, seeing bad things go on and not being able to do anything."

✩

At work, Sehun strikes up a conversation with Zitao. He'd shown Jongdae to his bookshelf earlier in the morning before leaving for Kona Beans, telling him to keep himself amused while Sehun was at work. "Hey, I don't need a roommate anymore, I've found someone."

"Really? That was quick. Who is he?" Zitao pauses from where he's running a dishcloth over the faucets and appliances, drying them off.

"Uh, just someone I met recently." Sehun still doesn't know how he's going to describe Jongdae to other people, especially where he came from. A small voice in the back of his head accuses him of wanting to keep Jongdae to himself but he shoves it away.

Zitao looks even more curious than before. "You met someone? You?" He smiles to take the sting out of his teasing but Sehun flicks the water on his hands from washing them earlier at him anyways.

"Yeah, me. I'm not completely socially inept."

"You're saying. He's that cute you don't want to share, huh?"

Sehun sputters at his words. "Dude, what the fuck. What even—No, of course not." He can feel his face flushing though, and he curses his body for betraying him.

Laughing, Zitao pokes Sehun's cheek while sticking out his tongue to make a face. "Why so red, then? Tell me, what's his name?"

"Jongdae. Kim Jongdae," Sehun says carefully, without any emotional inflection. If Zitao finds anything amiss with the way that his name is so similar to Jongin's, he doesn't comment.

"And? How old is he, is he a student, too? You need to tell me more—you should introduce me." Once Zitao is interested in something, he's never going to forget about it and Sehun is trapped.

"Fine, maybe someday."

"I know where you live, Sehun," Zitao threatens, and ducks as Sehun flings more water, this time with soap suds, at him. He's laughing loudly as he tries to escape and Junmyeon pokes his head out from the back at the commotion.

"I hope the two of you are doing your job."

"Don't worry, hyung," Zitao chirps from where Sehun's got him cornered between two sinks. "Business is slow in the mornings, anyways."

Junmyeon narrows his eyes at the two of them but shakes his head with a sigh. He's about to go to the back again until Sehun remembers and speaks up, "Hey, hyung, do you happen to have any job openings? My new roommate is looking for a small part-time job."

"Not here, but I can ask around. What kind of person is he?"

Sehun answers in the most innocuous way possible, "Uh, he's really short but he's around my age. He's probably gonna be best at something that doesn't require a lot of skill, or social capabilities."

Junmyeon looks a little confused at Sehun's description. "Okay, I'll see what I can do and let you know." Before retreating, he shoots them both his best glare. "Better make sure the two of you stay focused."

Waving him off, Zitao grins. They both know that Junmyeon's threats don't mean a thing.

After Junmyeon ducks through the back door, Zitao raises an eyebrow at Sehun. "So he's 'innocent,' huh? What on Earth is going on with this mysterious roommate? Now I'm really curious."

Sehun almost wants to laugh because it's not on Earth at all, far from it. It's all from space.

The rest of his shift goes by without any other incident, Zitao fruitlessly interrogating him notwithstanding. He waves cheerfully as he leaves, even as Zitao calls out a "You better introduce me soon!" behind him.

It's only mid-afternoon but when Sehun unlocks his door, he walks in to the sight of Jongdae fast asleep over a pile of books on the kitchen table.

Sehun takes the opportunity to observe him. He's not sure whether he holds his breath as to not wake him up or because the sight knocks the air out of his lungs. Jongdae does glow, even in the afternoon sunlight, but it's something on the edges of perception. He looks perfectly normal if Sehun is looking at him head-on, but from the corners of his eyes there's a faint light diffusing from Jongdae.

Kicking the leg of the table, Sehun wakes Jongdae up because if he keeps on sleeping, Sehun will keep on staring. Jongdae jolts awake, blinking as he sits up. There's a red line on his cheek, an imprint from falling asleep on a hardcover, and Sehun suppresses the urge to laugh.

"Sleepy?" Sehun inquires as Jongdae scowls at him grumpily.

It's only then that his gaze falls on the book that Jongdae is reading and his eyebrows shoot up. Somehow, Jongdae has discovered a couple of English classics Sehun forgot that he had owned, remnants of language lessons in high school. "You can read English?"

"Oh, is that what language it is? I was trying to figure it out for the longest time." Jongdae looks genuinely surprised as he furrows his brows at the cover.

"You were reading it?" Sehun is incredulous. "Just how many languages can you speak?"

Jongdae tilts his head. "Earth languages? I think I have fifty or so of the main ones down. I'm having some problems with Chinese, though. Too many little symbols."

It hits Sehun hard, that no matter how human Jongdae might look, he's definitely not of this world. "That's—wow."

"This book was interesting. Humans are interesting." Jongdae pats the cover of the book. It's 'The Great Gatsby,' and Sehun remembers parts of it from his arduous classes in high school. English was never his favorite subject; he just took it to fill his foreign language requisite.

"I'm glad you liked it. Do you like reading? I could take you to a library someday."

"Whatever makes you happy," Jongdae responds cheerily. There it is again, those words. Sehun doesn't know why they don't sit quite well with him, perhaps he just doesn't want to think that this is some sort of obligation for Jongdae.

"Anything's fine with me, what do you want to do?" he asks, instead.

"I don't care." Jongdae replies. Sehun doesn't want to push him or anything so he backs off. It's becoming increasingly irritating and frustrating, the way Jongdae just goes along with everything he suggests.

Sehun changes the subject, huffing. "So, I asked Junmyeon-hyung to let me know if any jobs come up."

Interested now, Jongdae sits up straight. "Does this mean I can earn money?" He draws a fingernail against the worn wood of the table. "Don't you think currency is a bit... outdated?"

"Whoa, hold up." Sehun raises his hands in defense. "It wasn't my idea or anything. This kind of thing is way out of my control."

Wrinkling his nose at him, Jongdae flips open another book, this one in Korean. "It's not your fault, I guess," he allows.

Sehun retreats to his room to change out of his street clothes into something more comfortable. The way Jongdae acts has him confused. He's not sure what Jongdae's supposed to be doing here, exactly. Guardian angel? The idea seems ridiculous even in his head and he scoffs. Though now that Sehun knows stars can manifest into human forms, he doesn't know what he can believe.

It appears that Jongdae's got a nonexistent attention span because when Sehun gets back to the living room, the books are discarded into a pile and Jongdae is out on the balcony. It's a rather bright and clear afternoon, yet Jongdae is staring straight out at the Sun, head tipped back. "Seven minutes," he says softly as Sehun steps out to join him.

"Seven—what?" Sehun asks.

"Seven minutes delay from your planet Earth to her. We can communicate in real-time but I'm seeing everything seven minutes later."

Sehun's unsettled (as usual) after Jongdae speaks. "You can talk to—you're talking to the Sun?"

"Sunyoung." Jongdae clicks his tongue at him. "She prefers Sunyoung. At least, that's what it sounds like in Korean. And yes, I only just introduced myself."

All shaken up, Sehun laughs unsteadily. This is incredible, it's—"This is something else. This is—wow." He sits down hard on an old plastic stool he has out on the balcony. "Next thing I know, you'll be telling me the Earth is sentient too."

"Don't be ridiculous. The planet's not alive, not in that sense." Jongdae sounds so matter-of-fact.

"Oh, of course. How obvious." Sehun's world has been turned upside-down ever since this boy had appeared. Jongdae's talking to the goddamn Sun, for Christ's sake. Who prefers to be called Sunyoung. He continues after taking a deep breath, "Seven minutes is pretty fast, though? I think it would take us several months to travel that distance."

"Humans," Jongdae says dramatically. "You guys will catch up, someday. Linear language, currency, and no speedy method for spatial travel? Honestly."

"How did you get here, then? You said starlight, how long did that take?"

Jongdae looks panicked for a second, before turning around and leaning his back against the balcony ledge. "manifests are complicated. It's a secret. Sehunnie, do you want to look at some stars tonight? I want to show you my friends."

This is the first time Jongdae has brought something up by his own accord and Sehun is nodding quickly. "Of course. Where should we go?"

✩

Sehun's positive that this is totally and completely against all the rules and regulations of his apartment building. He's probably going to get severely reprimanded by Landlady Jung if she catches them up here, and fined on top of that too. Because at the insistence of Jongdae, he finds himself lying on the apartment building rooftop at eleven o'clock at night.

That's not to say the view up here isn't incredible. Sehun can see all of Seoul spread out underneath him, faint neon lights in bright colors. And above them, it's a relatively clear night, the darkness broken up by small pinpricks of light. The smog gets pretty bad in Seoul at times, the air pollution rendering the stars hazy, but luck seems to be by his side. Or maybe it's Jongdae.

"Look, okay, I'm pretty sure that one's Lu Han. He's almost as old as Minseok." Jongdae's prone next to him, arm extended to trace out paths in the night sky which are completely foreign to Sehun. The flannel and tarp Sehun dug out of his closet and spread out on the roof for them to lie on crinkles as Jongdae shifts. "And to the right, the bluish one, that's Seunghwan. She's really young, compared to the rest of us."

When Sehun turns his head to look at Jongdae, he gets an eyeful of his side profile, visible even in the dark, as Jongdae tilts his head back to search the sky. Jongdae's nose and lips are so delicately formed, so lovely, and Sehun almost loses himself in his arched lines for a moment before he catches this train of thought and shoves it away.

"—and look! That's me." Jongdae interrupts his thinking as he grabs Sehun's wrist excitedly, gesturing with the other arm. "We really look so tiny from here. That's me in front of Baekhyun. You can't see Kyungsoo at all, he's going to be so annoyed when I tell him."

Sehun cranes his neck, trying to follow where Jongdae is pointing. Jongdae's grip on his wrist is distracting and he tries to think of anything but. He shifts closer to Jongdae in order to see the sky from his point of view, and finally makes out a glimmer of light at the tip of his finger.

"This feels unreal." Sehun's gaze is fixated on the star—on Jongdae, several light-years away. "That's you, up there. You're a star. A star. But you're lying here, right next to me."

Jongdae laughs. "Pretty much. Though that's actually me from a little over... four Earth years ago?"

Sehun reels. "Four years?"

"Four. I guess we're far apart, from your human point of view, but I think we're awfully close, all things considered. What color do you think I am? It's not very noticeable from here."

Sehun squints up at the sky. Time discrepancy or not, the thought that he's looking at Jongdae up there is hard to wrap around. "Looks yellow-orange. Am I right?"

"Could you really tell or did you look it up sometime earlier?" Jongdae still hasn't let go of Sehun's wrist, thin fingers in a warm grasp, much to his dismay—or is it delight? Sehun isn't sure anymore, not around Jongdae.

"I'm looking up at it—at you right now," Sehun protests.

Jongdae rolls over, propping himself up on his elbows and grinning down at him, his hair falling into his face. It's unfair, Sehun thinks weakly, how pretty he looks in the moonlight. He's always glowing faintly, something Sehun's grown accustomed to, but the effect is all the more stunning out in dark. Jongdae is breathtaking. "I don't believe you," he singsongs.

For a split second, Sehun almost considers dragging Jongdae down on top of him and finding out if his lips taste as good as they look, but this sudden feeling has him shuttering closed. He blames these thoughts on the fact that it's late and he's tired and his mind is wandering. Sehun turns his head away and resolutely glares at the night sky, grumbling, "Alright, maybe I did some research. Some. Nothing major. I just wanted to know who I was living with."

"What did you find out? I want to hear what the humans have to say about me." Jongdae shifts again to rest on his side, pillowing his head on his arms as he looks at Sehun contemplatively.

Sehun can rattle out the facts off the top of his head. "The Alpha Centauri system. Rigel Kent, Toliman, tian chen de xing xing. You have tons of names and myths under your belt."

"One of the perks of being the brightest in the sky," Jongdae muses. "Humans are awfully attached to me, aren't they?"

"Don't be so full of yourself, it's Baekhyun too," Sehun teases, and Jongdae whacks him in the chest with a huff. "One of you guys is actually smaller and a little dimmer than the other. More orange in color, too. Do you know which is which?"

At his words, Jongdae scowls and turns away. "I lied. I don't want to hear about what you found out in your amateur research."

He's cute and Sehun isn't sure where these feelings are coming from. "Huh—so you're the smaller one. Alpha Centauri Beta."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jongdae lets out a long sigh. "Man, humans have such rudimentary knowledge."

"Alright, Beta."

Jongdae jabs him in the stomach. "You know what? Just because Baekhyun is a tiny bit bigger and brighter than me does not make him any better. I'm telling you, he consumes too much hydrogen. At least I'm not Kyungsoo."

He yawns and shifts closer to Sehun to curl into him. Sehun jerks a bit at the jostling, at the sudden contact, and bites his lip. "If you say so."

"I do," Jongdae says sleepily. At this proximity, Sehun's arm is pressed against Jongdae's and he feels so warm. Sehun would be worried about him running a fever if he didn't know stars were this hot to touch.

Jongdae mumbles a bit, before he falls silent. He's completely asleep when Sehun chances a look over, lashes brushing his cheeks. Considering his options, Sehun finally gives in and carries him back to their apartment. Jongdae's warm and light in his arms, pressed into his chest, and Sehun looks at him wistfully for a bit after he puts him to bed. He pulls the covers up, tucking them under Jongdae's chin. Maybe tomorrow he won't feel so enamored.

✩

Junmyeon waves him over when Sehun arrives at Kona Beans in the morning. He's busy tying on his black apron but he nods to show that he's paying attention. "Sehun, one of my friends in the city council recently told me that the Seoul Metropolitan Library is hiring right now. Would your friend be interested?"

A library sounds like the perfect place for Jongdae to work and Sehun nods vigorously. "That sounds great. Thank you so much, hyung."

"It's no problem." Junmyeon waves him off, smiling. "I'll let her know and then get back to you."

Sehun's filled with a sense of accomplishment as he gets to work, washing his hands under the spray of a faucet. He's scored Jongdae a job, one that seems just right for him.

The rest of the shift goes by without incident. Today, Sehun's got a shift with Soojung, who he thought was the chilliest person he'd ever met until she opened her mouth. She chatters away, as usual, filling up the silence as they work.

Sehun finds his mind wandering again. He'd left Jongdae still sleeping in this morning; staying up late seemed to have an immediate effect on Jongdae. He's wondering what Jongdae is doing right now, whether he's eaten or read a book, but then he catches himself again. Sehun really needs to stop this.

As he walks home that afternoon, Sehun tries to look for animals in the clouds and count the number of electric bikes that pass him in the street—anything, really, to keep from thinking about Jongdae. Unfortunately, his thoughts are betraying him, and the moment Sehun thinks of his name, everything else he's been trying to suppress earlier floods back

He's only known Jongdae for less than a week, goddamn it. This kind of pining isn't exactly warranted. In fact, Sehun used to pride himself in the fact that he doesn't pine. Not after anyone, though there weren't exactly many people to pine after. But it seems like when Jongdae had fallen into Sehun's room, he'd fallen into Sehun's heart as well.

His apartment is still quiet when he gets back, the food he'd left out covered on the kitchen counter still uneaten. It's worrying, especially when Sehun peeks into Jongdae's room and finds him still fast asleep, almost drowning in the thick comforter. A quick glance at the clock tells Sehun that it's half past two and it looks like Jongdae hasn't gotten out of bed yet at all. That's definitely not good, Sehun should really limit any late-night excursions from now on if they're going to affect Jongdae this much.

Sehun shakes him awake, a hand on his shoulder. "Jongdae? Hey."

Making a muffled noise into the pillow, Jongdae rolls away from him, turning over.

"Seriously, it's almost three in the afternoon. You really need to get up." Sehun nudges him again, insistent.

Finally, Jongdae sits up, blinking sleepily and squinting at the afternoon brightness of the room. His voice is hoarse from sleep as he asks, "What? Did I really sleep for that long?"

"Yeah. Aren't you hungry at all?"

Jongdae digs the heels of his hands into his eyes after stretching. The hem of his shirt rides up and the collar drops, Sehun looking away with a cough after catching a glimpse of smooth skin. "Not really... I guess I was just really tired."

It doesn't make sense to Sehun either, but he doesn't know what to do about it. Sehun himself dislikes hospitals and doctors, usual preferring to stick it through with cups of hot tea and bottles of aspirin. Jongdae only really slept for a long time, probably due to exhaustion, and it's probably nothing for Sehun to worry about. He chides himself and pats Jongdae's arm. "You should get up, then. I can go reheat some leftovers from breakfast for you."

"That's nice, thank you, Sehunnie." Jongdae's eyes crinkle up as he smiles, and Sehun feels a lump settle in his throat. He flees to the kitchen.

Later, when Jongdae is as bright as usual, eating at the kitchen table, Sehun brings up the job offer. "My friend said he heard that the Seoul Metropolitan Library is hiring right now, are you interested?"

"Library? With all the books?" Jongdae pauses, chopsticks tapping against the edge of his bowl.

Sehun nods and sits back. "It doesn't pay very much, but it does pay and it will give you something to do instead of sitting around all day."

"I don't really mind, though. The sitting around. What do I have to do? When do I start?"

"Whoa." Sehun laughs. "You're getting ahead of yourself"—He cuts off at Jongdae's confused expression at the idiom—"I mean, we don't have anything for sure yet. Just wait."

"Okay." Jongdae nods, taking another bite of rice. "Also, by the way, I was talking to Baekhyun—"

Sehun is surprised. "You were talking to Baekhyun? How?"

"It's a secret." Jongdae raises a finger to his lips, shushing him. "Anyways, I was talking to Baekhyun, and he's coming to Korea with his person soon."

It's sudden and everything's a little jumbled up right now in Sehun's head, so he just nods. Sehun's gotten incredibly curious about Baekhyun, from all Jongdae's said of him. "That's cool, when are they coming?"

"I'm not sure, a few weeks?" Jongdae cocks his head as he thinks.

"Oh, alright. Do they need a place to stay or not?"

"I don't know yet. I'll have to find out." Still busy eating, Jongdae stifles a yawn with one hand.

Sehun leans his chair back. "You're still sleepy? Wow."

"I—Not really. I have no idea why," Jongdae says defensively. He stands up after he finishes his rice, bringing his bowl to the sink like he usually does now. "Thanks, I'll let Baekhyun know. I'm done eating, let's—"

Jongdae collapses suddenly and Sehun flies to his feet and just barely manages to catch him as he crumples.

✩

Jongdae stirs from underneath his blanket, in which Sehun had cocooned him with some difficulty. He'd panicked when Jongdae collapsed, and had no idea what to do. There's no identification he can provide if he takes him to a hospital, and how is he supposed to know if manifests even have the same human body... innards.

Jongdae doesn't look pale or sickly but Sehun isn't sure how accurate those are as indicators. His glow is significantly dimmer than before, which is worrying. Feeling up his forehead, Sehun sighs. If Jongdae really was just tired from staying up, he wouldn't be passing out on the spot like this.

Fluttering open, Jongdae's gaze is unfocused for a while until it falls on Sehun. Sehun doesn't realize he's been thumbing Jongdae's cheek until Jongdae smiles and brings an arm up out of his blanket cocoon and taps his wrist lightly. "What just happened?"

"I have no clue, you just passed out," Sehun says, running a hand through his hair. He feels much better now that Jongdae is awake and it doesn't seem like he is particularly sick, but his stomach still feels hollow. "Are you feeling okay, now?"

"I don't feel bad now, but I didn't feel bad earlier, either. My head is a bit woozy and I feel like someone's filled my skull with cotton, though." Jongdae's look flicks over him all concerned. "I'm really fine, Sehunnie. Don't worth about me."

Sehun takes a deep breath, trying to collect himself. "That was so scary. I didn't know what to do." Even though the immediate panic is over, he still wants to know if Jongdae will be okay.

"Don't worry about me," Jongdae repeats, pouting at him, and the overall effect, with only his head peeking out from the comforter, makes Sehun suppress a smile. "Just a—mild health problem? I'm sure I'll be fine later. Thanks for catching me."

"Of course." Sehun shakes his head. "I couldn't save the bowl though. It fell and cracked."

Jongdae cranes his neck up as high as possible, peering over at the kitchen. The porcelain had fractured on the ground, bits and pieces everywhere, and Sehun hadn't bothered to pick it up, instead placing Jongdae on the couch and fluttering around him in a panic. He frowns. "I'm sorry for shattering your bowl, Sehunnie."

"It's fine, really." The words are out of Sehun's mouth before he can stop himself. "I'd rather that break than you."

Jongdae laughs and even though he looks weak and frayed around the edges, Sehun still thinks he's the most beautiful person he's ever met. "Sehunnie, thanks."

Sehun's cheeks are aflame now and he stands quickly to get out of there. "You're welcome," he mutters. "I should clean up the broken bowl, now."

"Go ahead. Stop hovering over me all concerned." Jongdae sits up on the sofa, still cocooned, hair ruffled and sticking to his forehead damply. He wrestles his arms out from underneath the blanket and straightens his shirt.

Pulling a garbage can over to the kitchen, Sehun bends down and picks up the larger pieces of broken porcelain on the ground carefully, avoiding the sharp edges. He tosses them away, then hisses as one slices into the pad of his thumb. "Shit!"

Jongdae calls out, concerned. "Sehun? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Sehun says, as he squeezes his finger with his other hand, face contorted through the stinging pain. Straightening up, he fumbles through turning the faucet on, running the cut under a stream of cold water as he rummages through a cupboard for a bandage.

It's not that bad when he switches the water off and examines his thumb. The porcelain has sliced him diagonally, thin enough not to bleed excessively but deep enough to hurt like a bitch. Applying the bandage inexpertly, Sehun returns to the living room where Jongdae has sat up and currently has the comforter wrapped around his shoulders like a cape.

Jongdae's eyes latch onto the bandage on Sehun's finger as he nurses it, frowning in concern. He pulls Sehun down to sit on the sofa next to him, grabbing his hand to examine his thumb. "Did you cut yourself while cleaning up? Sehun, tell me."

Sehun finds himself replying petulantly, "It was an accident and it's not that bad at all."

Stroking the palm of Sehun's hand, Jongdae sighs. "You should've been more careful." He gets up. "Here, I'll finish cleaning it up."

"What if you get hurt?"

"I don't even know if I bleed or anything, Sehunnie. I don't know that much about manifest anatomy." Jongdae looks a little woozy from falling unconscious earlier, but otherwise he cleans the rest of the shattered china quickly.

"Weren't you studying hard?" Sehun teases. It's nice getting babied by Jongdae. If this is what getting injured entails, then maybe he should get injured a lot more often.

Jongdae looks at him all affronted. "I was too busy studying Earth culture and you to do much of anything else."

"You didn't study anything about what you are at all? manifests, is it?"

"Yeah." Jongdae hums. "It all looked boring so I just skimmed it."

He finishes cleaning up and returns to sit next to Sehun, leaning his head on his shoulder. Sehun breathes in and smells his own shampoo on Jongdae's distinct scent, and the combined effect has his stomach doing flip-flops. He speaks up after Jongdae's gone silent for a while, "Are you asleep?"

"Hm? No," Jongdae murmurs drowsily from his side. "By the way, Baekhyun says he's coming soon, him and his person, and he asks if they can stay with us?"

"Baekhyun?" Sehun's caught off-guard. "Yeah, they can stay, I guess."

"Cool." Sehun can feel Jongdae grinning, even though he can't see him.

Sehun brushes a finger down his arm idly. "Now will you tell me how you're communicating?"

"Sehunnie, you did your research. How far apart are Baekhyun and I?" Jongdae counters.

Going through some quick mental math in his head, Sehun answers, "26 light-years?"

"Close enough." Jongdae laughs from where his nose is pressed into Sehun's shoulder. "If we can talk across that distance when we're stars, then we can obviously talk when we're only separated by a couple of seconds in lightspeed."

He falls silent again, breathing evening out as he falls asleep. Sehun briefly wonders if taking this many naps is even possible, before he occupies himself with counting the beauty marks on Jongdae's face.

It only comes to him a couple of hours later, when Jongdae's leaning against him, curled into his side. Something has felt off since Jongdae passed out unexpectedly, but Sehun couldn't put a finger on it earlier. He realizes now. Jongdae isn't glowing anymore, or if he is, it's fainter than before. Sehun almost can't see it.

✩

Sehun brings it up only when he catches Jongdae staring at himself in the bathroom mirror the next morning, rubbing his collarbone with his thumb. He raps lightly on the doorway to catch Jongdae's attention and indicate his presence, but Jongdae jumps anyways, startled. "Hi, Sehunnie."

"Hey," Sehun says. It's early in the morning, early enough that he speaks softly as to not break the silence. He clears his throat. "Are you okay?"

Jongdae laughs and Sehun finds himself counting the seconds. He lives in the space between Jongdae's smiles. "You keep asking me that, Sehun. I thought I was the one watching over you."

Sehun scratches his hair awkwardly. "It's just—" he doesn't know how to say it. "You don't—you don't glow anymore."

Something inside him twists at the wistful look Jongdae gives himself in the mirror. He holds his arm out, examining the back and then the palm of his hand. "I don't, do I?"

"Is that supposed to happen?"

"I told you, I don't know much about manifests." Jongdae sighs. "I don't know why I don't glow, or why I'm always sleepy, or anything at all."

Sehun's almost frustrated. "Shouldn't we try finding out? Does Baekhyun know?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't think so," Jongdae says. He leans back against the sink, suddenly cupping Sehun's face with his cool fingers. They're usually warmer than that, Sehun thinks, but he's mostly preoccupied with the way Jongdae's gaze is almost unconsciously dropping to his lips.

He coughs to break the silence. "Anyways, Junmyeon got back to me about the job at library. He says he wants to meet you before making any decisions, so can you come to work with me today?"

Sehun almost wants Jongdae to say no. He wants to keep Jongdae to himself, doesn't want him to meet people who aren't him. The past few days with Jongdae have felt like he was living in a dream, and if Jongdae talks to the people in Sehun's life, it won't be the same anymore. What if this dream ends?

"Sure," Jongdae says. He pauses. "Won't they think I'm different, though? Do you think I'm weird, Sehun?"

He sounds a little sad and Sehun shakes his head vehemently. "No, no, you're fine. Really."

"Yeah? In that case, I'll go with you today."

Sehun flashes him a thumbs up at him, before escaping the bathroom to go change. Jongdae peels himself away from the sink, and goes to Jongin's—his room now.

When Jongdae steps out in a tight pair of light wash and a form-fitting shirt, Sehun experiences a father-of-a-teenaged-daughter moment. Namely, he wants to make Jongdae change into something that doesn't hug all the lines of his body in every single way possible.

Jongdae doesn't seem to realize that anything's amiss, though he looks twice at Sehun's sour expression.

It's not a very far distance from Sehun's apartment to Kona Beans, but the walk seems a hundred times longer when Sehun can feel the eyes of all the passerby following Jongdae. Not that Sehun can blame them, because there's something about Jongdae that's almost magnetic, but he's not above shooting stink-eyes at passing pedestrians.

Briefly, Sehun wonders if he could just pull Jongdae close while they walk. He could interlock their fingers, or wrap a hand around his hip, or throw an arm over his shoulders. It's to deter the looks of the likes of unscrupulous teenagers, who have always left a sour taste in Sehun's mouth, combined with the fact that he needs to protect Jongdae. At least, that's what he tries to tell himself.

Jongdae doesn't look surprised when Sehun finally brings his arm up around his shoulder, pulling him close as they walk. Instead, he beams. Sehun's courage is rapidly dwindling and he almost lets his arm drop, but the Jongdae's making a little whiny noise and God, Sehun is so weak.

He knows that they look like a couple taking a walk together, but Jongdae looks so happy that he doesn't want to tamper it. Sehun only breaks apart from him before they reach the a spot visible from the coffee shop, because he does not want to deal with any sort of interrogation at the hands of Zitao.

Speaking of Tao, he's right behind the counter as they step into Kona Beans. He grins at Sehun, but not before giving Jongdae a most obvious once-over. "Hey, Sehun. And hey, what's your name?"

Jongdae looks daunted by the fact that he's speaking with another human, who isn't Sehun. Call Sehun a shitty friend, but he's almost glad that Jongdae isn't being so open around Tao. "Kim Jongdae," he introduces himself, smiling briefly, before yawning.

Zitao doesn't seem hurt, though. "It's nice to meet you. Are you Sehun's new roommate, maybe?"

Nodding, Jongdae glances at Sehun quickly. "Yeah, that's me."

Sehun cuts into their introductions. "Tao, it's nice seeing you, but I only brought Jongdae here today to talk to Junmyeon-hyung, so we should go."

Feigning injury, Zitao pouts. It's unbecoming, Sehun tells him all the time, but he does it anyways. "And here I thought you wanted to come see me." He claps Sehun on the shoulder though, and sends him to the back. "I think Junmyeon's there."

Junmyeon is there when Sehun brings Jongdae to the back room. They have to push through some plastic flaps, and Jongdae looks mystified at their flexibility. Sehun dislikes them because they're so grimy, no matter how many times he casually brings up to Junmyeon that they should maybe get them cleaned.

He's busy on his laptop when Sehun clears his throat. "Hyung, this is Jongdae. He's the one I was talking to you about."

"Hello." Jongdae bows, the picture of politeness, and Sehun wonders where he suddenly got that from. "It's nice to meet you."

Smiling, Junmyeon reaches out to shake his hand. Jongdae stares at it for a bit, confused, and finally Sehun coughs and nudges him aside to take Junmyeon's hand. Better not to leave him hanging, but Sehun blames himself for not explaining things like common mannerisms to him. There's so much that Jongdae just doesn't know, he thinks frustratedly.

If Junmyeon is thrown off, he doesn't show it. Instead, he gestures for them to take a seat opposite of his desk. He addresses Jongdae when he speaks, "My friend sent me a list of questions to ask you, but I don't really think it'll be necessary. A lot of the questions were completely superficial, anyways."

These words are going over Jongdae's head, and Sehun panics. He definitely did not think this through, and now he's terrified as he stands there watching him. Sehun isn't very scared of Junmyeon, but he does not want to make him think that Jongdae should visit a shrink.

"It's fine, go ahead," Jongdae says with an easy smile. He stifles a yawn behind a hand. Sehun can tell that Junmyeon's charmed, and he prays for the rest of the mock interview to go well.

He considers escaping to the restroom, because Jongdae is looking more and more confused at each question. It's only when Junmyeon asks, "Where's your hometown?" that Sehun panics for real. He's not sure what Jongdae's going to say, so before Jongdae can open his mouth, he coughs loudly.

"Sorry, hyung, we need to go." Sehun stands up quickly. They're both looking at him with expressions of surprise, and Sehun has an internal meltdown before he pulls out his phone. "It's, uh, lunchtime and my brother, he's in town. I totally forgot. We have a reservation in a restaurant. Can we reschedule this?"

Before either of them can respond, Sehun grabs Jongdae's hand and pulls him to his feet. "I'm really sorry, hyung," he tells Junmyeon, again, and whisks them out.

Sehun only remembers to drop Jongdae's hand after they've rounded the block. "That was close."

"Was something wrong?" Jongdae glances around them.

"What? No, it was just that Junmyeon was asking questions that we couldn't really answer."

Jongdae scratches his head. "I was just going to tell him that I'm from another star system."

Shaking his head, Sehun says, "You can't do that. People will—people will think you're crazy, or something. No one will believe you."

He regrets talking immediately, after he sees Jongdae's crestfallen expression. "Oh... I didn't think—"

Sehun brushes it off. "It's fine, we're out now."

Jongdae doesn't talk as much when they get back home. Yawning, he makes his way to his bedroom. "I'm going to go take a nap, okay?"

"Uh, sure." Jongdae's been yawning all the time, and he's sleepier than before. Sehun tells himself not to worry, that it's probably nothing, and he pulls out his laptop to get to work on his coursework.

✩

"You ready to meet Baekhyun, today?" Jongdae asks excitedly. He's been extra cheery this morning, reaching out to touch Sehun in enthusiastic contact more often than usual. Sehun's not complaining. He's been moping in front of the mirror again, and Sehun just wants to know why, but before he can, Jongdae changes the subject.

There's the slightest tinge of jealousy that surfaces whenever Jongdae mentions Baekhyun. Jongdae always has such a fond expression when he's talking about him, and Sehun wonders what Jongdae's face looks like when he's thinking about Sehun. If he thinks about Sehun. Nodding, Sehun replies, "Yeah. Even if he's bringing someone, I think the four of us will be able to make do here."

Jongdae's grin is disarming, but the way his mood just switches to one of cheerfulness so quickly sets off Sehun's alarm signals. He's only familiar with this kind of evasion because he used to practice it so much himself. He doesn't know what to say, though, so he just escapes the stuffy bathroom.

Sehun takes a deep breath once he's out, because whenever he's close to Jongdae, all he can think about is how nice Jongdae would look if he pressed him against the wall and kissed his breath away. How nice Jongdae's lips would feel against his. The cut on his thumb stings, throbbing as his heart rate speeds up.

He's eyeing two take-out menus, trying to decide between Chinese food or fried chicken, when the doorbell rings. Jongdae, who is napping over a book at the kitchen table, sits up sleepily at the noise. "They're here," he tells him.

The apartment is messy, Sehun notices from a critical viewpoint. And there are guests, but it's too late for him to do anything. Sehun unlocks his door, opening it carefully as his heart pounds in his ears. He's deathly curious, if anything, especially about Baekhyun.

The two men standing on his doorstep look almost as nervous as he feels. One is grinning at him widely and the other smiles more politely behind him. "Hello! Are you Sehun?"

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you," Sehun bows slightly and steps back to let them in. Going by their heights, Sehun isn't sure which one is Baekhyun yet, but they're both plenty attractive, he observes with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He only realizes Jongdae's come over to the front door when he nudges Sehun's side and then suddenly hugs the one Sehun assumes to be Baekhyun. The bile rising in his throat is definitely uncalled for, but Jongdae is his. And Baekhyun looks way too happy to see him. "Hey, Chen."

Jongdae grins at him, fingers knotted in Baekhyun's shirt, and Sehun feels something twist inside him. The only person Jongdae should be smiling like this around is Sehun. But what does he know, honestly? Baekhyun's known Jongdae for, what, billions of years longer. How can Sehun compare?

"Baekhyun. Wow, nice manifest." Jongdae pats Baekhyun's cheek, oblivious to Sehun's glowering off to the side.

The man accompanying Baekhyun comes over to Sehun, bowing low and grasping Sehun's hand. "Hello, I'm Yixing. It's nice to meet you," he says, in softly accented Korean.

"Hello, Yixing. It's nice to meet you, too," Sehun says, absentmindedly. He's watching Baekhyun and Jongdae talk about something animatedly, complete with hand-gestures and a whole lot of touches, out of the corner of his eye. They're just so—so comfortable with each other, and Sehun reprimands himself for thinking that Jongdae is his to keep.

Later, after Baekhyun and Yixing bring their luggage to Jongdae's current room, Jongdae nudges Sehun. "Hey, where are you going to sleep?"

"I was thinking the sofa, actually." Sehun's giving up his bed to Jongdae, and the couch in the living room is really his only option left, no matter the cricks in his neck when he wakes up or the fact that if he lies straight, both his head and his feet would hang over the edges.

Jongdae frowns, as if he realizes this also. "Don't do that. I can sleep there, they're my guests anyways. And I'm smaller than you."

Except Sehun's not going to let Jongdae brave the lumpy couch. "It's fine, I can sleep there. It's my house."

Jongdae looks really frustrated now. "Sehunnie. Sleep in your room. I'm older than you, listen to me."

The tension's gone when Sehun bursts into laughter. "You are, aren't you? You've got a few billion years on me."

Looking slightly miffed that Sehun's laughing so hard, Jongdae smiles back nevertheless. "Exactly. And I'm saying you should just sleep on your bed." He pauses. "Wait, why don't we both sleep in your room?"

Sehun doesn't know if he's going to survive a night sleeping next to Jongdae, but he doesn't say that aloud. Instead, he grasps for some kind of excuse.

He can't think of one fast enough. Jongdae takes it as agreement and gives him a triumphant look, chirping, "Alright, that's settled," before turning on his heel to go to his room, where Baekhyun and Yixing are unpacking.

Slumping into the sofa when he's gone, Sehun wants to bury his face in his arm. What has he done? He's not going to be able to sleep at all, next to Jongdae. Nor does he want to wake up with a boner, like he has been doing a lot more often nowadays, with the focus of his most recent wet dream right next to him.

This is the first time Sehun's thought about those particular dreams in broad daylight. He tries to ignore the images, hoping they'll go back to the abyss of his mind, where they belong, but now they're at the forefront. They'd started off like the usual: warm fingers digging into his thighs, slick lips wrapping around his cock. Except, while in most previous dreams Sehun never saw the other person, recently he's been catching glimpses of tousled hair and kitten lips and—God, he's so fucked.

He almost considers backing out when they're getting ready for bed. Sehun's so desperate, he considers sleeping in the bathtub for one fleeting moment. Anywhere he'll be separated from Jongdae by walls and doors.

Jongdae's already in bed when Sehun peeks into his room. He's lying on his side, the thin shirt he has on already bunched up at his shoulders, and he meets Sehun's eyes. "C'mon, Sehun," he calls, before yawning.

Sehun had washed his face and brushed his teeth as slow as humanly possible, in order to delay this. He's here now, unfortunately, and fuck, but he's not even sure if Jongdae's wearing pants in bed. Does he sleep in pajamas? Or just his boxers? Half of Sehun really wants to know, and the other half is completely fine with it remaining a mystery, forever.

He slips under the covers with the most robotic movement ever, in fear of jostling Jongdae. Sehun lies there on his back with his body ramrod straight, hands clasped on his stomach, eyes focused on the ceiling. Really, as long as he keeps to the far left of the bed, he can just pretend he's alone here and everything will be fine.

Until Jongdae scoots over and pillows his cheek on Sehun's arm. His voice is drowsy as he speaks. "You're so warm. Why don't we sleep together all the time?"

Sehun is actually not going to make it through the night. The connotation in Jongdae's words makes him flush—he knows Jongdae doesn't mean that kind of sleeping, but his mind is running away from him nevertheless. That one spot on his arm that Jongdae is lying against tingles. "Um. I don't know."

Jongdae wiggles even closer, if possible. His breath is suddenly hot on Sehun's skin, and Sehun shivers. "We should do it all the time then. When Baekhyunnie and Yixing are gone."

Every single one of Sehun's muscles lock into place when he feels Jongdae's knee slide between his legs—Jongdae's not wearing pajamas. Sehun tries to remember how to breathe but it's so difficult, when it feels like he's drowning in the deluge that is Jongdae. Maybe it's because it's late, but he asks before he can stop himself. "What's going on between you and Baekhyun?"

Jongdae's significantly more awake when he raises his head slightly to look at Sehun. "What do you mean?"

"Like, what does Baekhyun mean to you?" Sehun holds his breath. He wants to shrink into the mattress because he kind of doesn't want to know, ever.

There's a long pause but Sehun can tell that Jongdae is thinking. "He's... very important to me. I've known him for practically my entire existence. I'd call him my other half."

That, Sehun thinks with a sharp burst of clarity, is the sound of his heart shattering into little pieces. It grinds on his ears, reminiscent not of tinkling glass but of chalkboard, and he talks himself through it with a deep breath. "Oh," he says, very quietly.

"I'd say that we're too close. Just earlier, he was telling me about all he got up to with Yixing—"

Sehun isn't really listening to Jongdae, instead tuning out to the white noise of heartbreak, but he snaps to attention. "Wait, what?"

"It's nasty, you don't want to hear it. Humans are gross." Jongdae wrinkles his nose.

Turning over to his side so he can face Jongdae, Sehun can hear his heart pumping in his ears, so loud he's surprised that he hasn't gone deaf. Jongdae is gorgeous, he thinks absentmindedly. He wishes he could tear his eyes away. "Are they—"

"Fucking, is that what humans call it? Fucking. How crude."

Sehun suddenly feels as if the world is spinning, as if everything's been turned upside-down, and it's not just how odd it is to hear Jongdae swear (and he certainly not turned on). "You and Baekhyun, you're not—I thought—"

Jongdae gapes at him. "Sehunnie. You thought Baekhyun and I were lovers?"

Staring at him, Sehun replies, dumbfounded. "Aren't you, though? You just called him your other half, you just—kept on saying things."

"That's disgusting. I don't even want to think about that. Sehun, that's just ridiculous. He's my other half because—y'know—we revolve around each other. Baekhyun's my gravity."

With each of Jongdae's words, Sehun can feel his chest getting lighter, until he's almost floating. Jongdae rolls over and suddenly clambers on top of him, straddling his hips and shit, what is he doing? Sehun can't breathe again.

Jongdae leans down, arms bracing himself on Sehun's chest, pressed so tight to him that Sehun can feel this energy thrumming through him. His face awfully close to Sehun's, and he can sense his breath on his lips. Sehun's frozen, not sure what to do.

"Tell me, what else made you think Baekhyun and I were together like that?" He's whispering now, one eyebrow quirked, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

Sehun finds his voice. "It's just—the way you look at him. The way you look when you're talking about him, I wish—I wish you would look at me the same way." He breathes the last words, so softly he can barely hear himself, but Jongdae's eyes widen. God, his hair is a mess and his mouth is parted a little, and Sehun has never been more in love.

He wants to take back his words the moment he says it, but there's something liberating, something refreshing, about finally getting his feelings out in the open. Sehun will take the consequences as they come but right now, he doesn't regret telling Jongdae one bit. Licking his lips, he speaks up again, wanting to lessen the weight of his previous words. "Listen, Jongdae, I—"

Jongdae shuts him up by leaning forward and pressing his lips to Sehun's. His mouth is warm and wet and when he slips his tongue into Sehun's mouth, hands propping himself up on Sehun's shoulders, Sehun finds out what heaven tastes like.

Jongdae's thighs come to squeeze Sehun's sides, and Sehun sits up, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other pulling himself up until he's leaning against the headboard. It's so—heady, holding Jongdae in his lap, exploring his mouth and running his hands down his sides. Sehun almost wants to pinch himself, but if he's dreaming, he definitely does not want to wake up.

Fingers cupping Sehun's face gently, Jongdae pulls back with a noise. He's stunning in the moonlight, his lips slick and red, but it's the searching look in his eyes that has Sehun pulling him back in with a growl. Now that he's gotten a taste, he's not going to be letting go of Jongdae anytime soon.

Maybe Jongdae feels it too, this palpable energy permeating the air, and he tugs his hands through Sehun's hair and tilts his face to the side to allow himself to kiss him deeper. His lips are so soft, even as his fingers scrabble at Sehun's shirt, and it's everything Sehun's imagined and then some. All he can breathe is this moment; he can taste Jongdae and take in his scent and just fill himself up with this mess of emotions that he's feeling right now. Intoxication is the only word that comes to mind when he tries to describe what he's feeling right now. Jongdae is intoxicating.

Jongdae is the first to break away, eyes bright and all disheveled-looking. He's breathing hard, they both are, and finally he lets himself lean into Sehun's chest. His lips are swollen and the prettiest shade of red, and Sehun almost gives in to the urge to pull him in for another kiss.

He thumbs Sehun's cheek, breathless. "Sehun—you're very good-looking."

And Sehun can't even begin to put in words what Jongdae is. Ephemeral, he settles on. Celestial. Perfection sounds too commonplace, now. His breathing is still shaky but he can't keep the smile off his face. "I know—"

Jongdae huffs at him but this time Sehun revels in the fact that he can pull him in close, wrap him his arms around him tight. "You ruined it."

"—but I'm nothing compared to you," Sehun finishes. Jongdae turns red and he hides his face with a groan.

Later, Jongdae's more preoccupied with Sehun's mouth to talk more, but he asks Sehun again, "Are we dating, now? Are we lovers?"

Sehun says yes. He's so giddy, he could fly.

✩

Both of them, Baekhyun and Jongdae, sleep in that morning. Sehun brings it up to Yixing, who tells him that Baekhyun sleeps all the time, too. He frowns, hoping that it's nothing major. Sehun wants to just chalk it up to a manifest thing.

Baekhyun gives Sehun the most disapproving look, as they eat breakfast. Sehun doesn't know him that well, has only greeted him and talked about trivial things, so he's a little worried. He wants to leave a good impression, especially on someone who's so close to Jongdae.

The frown is completely uncalled for, Sehun thinks. He can sense a pair of eyes boring into his back whenever he turns around, and finally Baekhyun corners him in the bathroom. "You and Chen, what's going on?"

"What?" Sehun's surprised. He'd expected anything but this particular subject matter. Even as he tries to figure out an reply, he notices that Baekhyun doesn't glow, either.

Baekhyun huffs out in annoyance. "Don't play dumb with me. I know what you're up to, I heard you two last night."

Now, Sehun's face is flaming, and if that doesn't give it away, then he doesn't know what does. "We didn't—it's not like that." He's not even completely sure himself, what Jongdae and him have now, and he certainly does not want to try to explain to Baekhyun.

"Oh, I know you didn't fuck. Then you'd be dead, and I wouldn't even bother to talk to you."

"Then, what?" Sehun's bristling now. "And why does it matter to you?"

Baekhyun's face shutters, his eyes turning steely. "It matters to me because Chen matters to me. Don't screw around with him."

"He prefers Jongdae," Sehun says quietly. Baekhyun gives him the most incredulous look, like he couldn't possibly have heard him correctly, so Sehun clears his throat and says it again, louder. "He prefers Jongdae now. Not Chen." Even though Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak again, Sehun cuts him off. "And I'm not screwing around with him—I'd never. Not him."

He speaks as firmly and sincerely as he can, and Baekhyun seems to sense it. His face crumples, posture slumping. "I just wanted to protect him. I warned him—I warned him because there's only so much longer he can—" Baekhyun freezes, guilt written across his face. He continues, "I told him not to fall in—in love, with a fucking human. But it's not like he's ever listened to me."

The word 'love' rings in Sehun's ears. He uncrosses his arms, exhaling shakily. He doesn't realize he's clenching his fists so hard until he feels the sting of his nails cutting into his palms. "Believe me, I'm not going to hurt him."

Baekhyun's laugh is bordering on hysterical. "Of course not. But you will. Maybe because you're so focused on not hurting him. You don't understand, do you? Chen—Jongdae, Kyungsoo, me, we're only—" Baekhyun stops again, this time pressing a finger into his temple. "If he didn't tell you, then it's not my right to tell you. Just—please don't hurt him."

His words reverberate through Sehun. Baekhyun looks so tired, curling into himself, so different from the person who had confronted Sehun earlier. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I just think you should know that I'd never, ever, want to hurt him."

"What you want and what's going to happen will be two very different things, though." Baekhyun's voice is so quiet, Sehun has to lean forward and strain his ears to hear. "Make him happy."

Sehun takes a deep breath when Baekhyun leaves the small bathroom. He sinks to his knees, sliding down with the wall against his back. Baekhyun's words have his mind whirling, and it's something that nags him for the rest of the day. Sehun's filled with a need to prove himself as good enough for Jongdae.

Baekhyun and Yixing leave later, luggage in hand. The way Baekhyun embraces Jongdae, holding him close and whispering in his ear, makes Sehun want to stalk on over and stake his claim. But he's irritated at him, if that's the right word. He's sure Jongdae's hiding something from him.

The apartment feels empty after they've left. Jongdae's curled up again, on the couch, napping underneath a ray of sunlight. Sehun's curiosity has gotten ahold of him and now he wants to confront him and ask what Baekhyun had meant.

Jongdae looks so pristine when he sleeps and Sehun doesn't want to wake him up. Instead, he chooses to take a seat on the other end, letting his own thoughts buzz around his head. He feels sick to his stomach and all unsettled, because the way Baekhyun had worded it made it sound like something big was happening with Jongdae.

When Jongdae wakes up, he still looks dazed. He seems perpetually tired to Sehun, and now he knows that something is definitely wrong. The bruises under his eyes are too dark to be temporary and he doesn't emit light anymore, at all.

He coughs to get Jongdae's attention. "Jongdae. I was talking to Baekhyun."

Jongdae raises an eyebrow, still struggling with the last tendrils of sleep. "What's up?"

Fiddling with the hem of his shirt, Sehun says, "Please just tell me. Is something wrong with you?"

The expression on Jongdae's face tells him everything. It crumples, for a split-second, before he turns away with a little flick of his chin, composing himself. Sehun feels sick, even as Jongdae says, "I'm fine. Why do you keep thinking that something's wrong when I'm okay?"

"There's just—Baekhyun seemed to imply that something was wrong, earlier. And you're always sleeping, and—"

"What did Baekhyun say?" Jongdae says sharply. There's an unreadable look in his eyes.

Sehun knows that something's up for sure, if Jongdae's reaction is anything to go by. "He didn't tell me—he said he didn't have any right to let me know if you didn't choose to tell me."

"If even Baekhyun knows to shut up about it, why can't you cut it out and stop bothering me?" Sehun's never seen Jongdae like this before. Jongdae isn't supposed to be giving him such a cold look.

"Jongdae—" He flinches when Sehun says his name. "Jongdae. If it's so bad that you can't even tell me, there's definitely something bad going on."

Jongdae takes a deep breath and then slumps, all the fight going out of him. Sehun thinks it's worse, this look of despair, compared to his anger earlier. He just wants to know what's going on, so he can help.

Without saying a word, Jongdae stands up and moves until he's right in front of Sehun, who's sitting back on the sofa. Nudging his knees apart, he stands between Sehun's legs, pressing his shins against the couch. Sehun swallows at his sudden proximity.

All the wind gets knocked out of his lungs when Jongdae carefully climbs into Sehun's lap, straddling him. Jongdae's eyes are dark when he carefully tilts Sehun's face to the side, fingers cool on his cheek. He's looking at Sehun's mouth, lashes tilted downwards, but he won't meet his eyes.

He almost sighs in relief when Jongdae presses their lips together, mouth hot and wet. It's different from his soft kisses before; there's an edge as he threads his fingers into the hair at the nape of Sehun's neck and tugs hard.

Sehun doesn't think he'll ever get used to kissing Jongdae. Sure, he's kissed his fair share of people, but Jongdae is different in the most heady way. Maybe it's because it's Jongdae, but Sehun thinks that he could do this forever.

Sehun jerks when Jongdae's hand slides down, palming him through his jeans. Part of him wants to buck up, grind himself against Jongdae, but he just manages stops himself, with a shameful look. "What are you doing—fuck."

Jongdae leans in close, lips brushing Sehun's ear. "Sehun, let's move to the bedroom."

✩

Jongdae pulls him into his bedroom as he reels. Sehun's flushing as he tries not to think about—about Jongdae and his words.

His head is spinning when Jongdae pushes him until he falls backward onto the bed. Jongdae's eyes are half-lidded and he doesn't look as sweet and innocent as he usually did before. Sehun's not sure if he himself likes this side of Jongdae, but his cock is definitely interested.

When Jongdae kisses him again, almost aggressively, Sehun gasps into his mouth. Jongdae's hand is fumbling at his fly now, and Sehun bows his head in an attempt to hold back on moaning embarassingly.

Sehun feels like his mind is short-circuiting as Jongdae pulls his own clothes off, then tugs at Sehun's jeans until he's gotten rid of them too. He scoots down, then pushes Sehun until he's sitting back against the headboard.

He looks wicked, looking at Sehun with half-lidded eyes and swollen lips. Jongdae's skin is creamy and dotted with beauty makes, and Sehun wants to pull him over and find out if he tastes as good as he looks.

The wind is knocked out of him when Jongdae eases his boxers down, letting Sehun's cock spring free. He's already embarassingly hard, and he only gets harder when Jongdae starts pumping him leisurely.

"I'm going to blow you now," Jongdae says conversationally. That's all the warning Sehun gets before he pushes Sehun's legs apart and leans down, never dropping eye contact with him, and fits the tip of his length into his mouth.

Sehun's hips stutter and he bites back a moan. Jongdae's mouth feels like heaven around his dick, all warm and wet, and his tongue dips into his slit, almost curiously. Sehun feels so hot as Jongdae looks up at him and bobs his head down, his lips stretched around his cock in the most obscene way as he takes him in deeper.

He almost can't take it anymore, so Sehun throws his head back just after catching a glimpse of his cockhead bulging against Jongdae's cheek. Jongdae is breathing through his nose, hands almost absentmindedly playing with Sehun's balls, and he goes lower each time, his hand wrapping around where his mouth can't reach.

Jongdae deepthroats him like a champ, relaxing and letting Sehun's cock slide down his fluttering throat, until Sehun feels like he's forgotten how to breathe. Sehun's eyes are screwed shut, which only serves to amplify the messy sounds as Jongdae goes down on him. Briefly, he wonders where Jongdae learned how to do this, but it's not something he wants to think about right now. He's going to blow his load anytime soon, but then Jongdae pulls off with a slick noise.

His lips are swollen and saliva-slicked, and Sehun's left incredibly hard as he takes in his wrecked appearance. There's precum smeared on his cheek and on his mouth, and Sehun's living his wet dream.

Moving closer, Jongdae straddles him again, but this time Sehun feels like every sensation has been increased tenfold from the contact of their bare skin. He's so attuned to every single one of Jongdae's movements, gasping when his dick brushes the curve of Jongdae's ass. Fucking hell, Sehun's still so hard, and the way Jongdae grinds back can only be called teasing.

"Hurry up—please," he breathes out. Sehun runs his hands along Jongdae's bare skin, making sure to memorize each dip.

Jongdae brings his hand up to Sehun's mouth, then taps two fingers against his lips. "Suck."

Sehun likes this new assertive voice, his dick twitching. He sucks on Jongdae's fingers messily, reveling in the way he's turning Jongdae on like this, too.

One of Jongdae's hands grabs on to Sehun's shoulder, and he reaches the other one behind him. His breath hitches as he slides his finger in, fucking himself on it. Sehun would gladly take over, but all he can do is watch Jongdae. Two fingers have Jongdae pitching forward, pressing his face into Sehun's neck. His breath is hot on his skin and he's panting hard, and the choked moan as he scissors himself makes Sehun grab onto his hips for some kind of grounding. Jongdae fingering himself is something he wants seared into his retinas forever, especially when Jongdae bites down into his skin to muffle a moan.

Jongdae wipes his fingers on the bedsheets, then he moves up. "I'm going to sit on your cock"—Sehun's breath dies in his lungs—"and you're not going to move."

His rim is slick as he aligns himself over Sehun's length, dipping and taking him in just enough to stretch slightly. Maybe Sehun chokes something out like, "Don't fucking tease," because then Jongdae takes a deep breath and allows himself to slip down, impaling himself on Sehun's cock.

He doesn't stop until he's sunk all the way down to the hilt, his lips parted in the most distracting way. Sehun feels strung-up, enveloped by Jongdae's tight heat like this—he's so fucking right. Jongdae pauses for second, allowing himself to adjust, before he presses their sweaty skin together and moves.

Picking up the pace, Jongdae uses his arms to pull himself up before he lets himself drop, fucking himself open on Sehun's cock. Sehun's hands settle on his hips to give himself something to grab onto. He's breathing hard, making little noises in the back of his throat, and when Jongdae pulls himself closer, shifting the angle, Sehun almost comes.

He's close enough to the brink that he uses his grip on Jongdae's hips to bring him down deep, Jongdae almost bouncing in his lap. Sehun tilts his hips to ream into Jongdae's prostate hard and fast, taking his hints from the sharp gasp Jongdae suddenly emits. It's pretty much over when Jongdae comes all over himself. His ass clenches down hard over Sehun's dick, his rim fluttering when Sehun presses a finger against it. It's all too fucking much when Jongdae goes limp and pliant against him, breathing into his ear, "You're so good for me, Sehunnie," and Sehun is coming with a groan, pulling Jongdae down over his length, releasing as he's buried deep inside him.

It's an awful mess when Jongdae lifts himself up with a filthy, wet noise, and Sehun wants to cover his face from the flush. They're both breathing hard and Jongdae looks too fucked-out to do anything, so Sehun wipes the cum off of them onto the sheets absentmindedly. That was possibly the most mind-blowing sex he's ever had, and Jongdae curls into his chest, tired already.

Jongdae's back to soft and sweet when he mutters, half-asleep, "Sleep now, we can talk later."

✩

Sehun's dreams are filled with Jongdae's voice. He hears all kinds of things—'This wasn't supposed to happen,' 'Baekhyun said it would be different,' 'We shouldn't have,"—and it makes his stomach churn, even in his dreams.

The Jongdae he dreams about looks so vibrant and healthy, like he did when Sehun had just met him, different from the exhaustion he carries himself with these days. He glows again, and Sehun feels so much more comfortable. It's how things should be.

Jongdae's there when he wakes up, their legs entangled even though Sehun usually has a problem with extended amounts of contact. He taps on Sehun's chest, and Sehun nods to show that he's paying attention. He's still half-asleep, but he wants to smile giddily at a tousled Jongdae in the morning.

"I'm going to explain now," Jongdae says. He's quiet, but Sehun isn't sure if that's because of the morning tranquility or something else. "I have a lot of things to confess."

Sehun hums, lightly drawing circles into Jongdae's bare skin with his fingertips. He's suddenly not quiet sure why he was so angry at Jongdae earlier.

"You were never 'assigned' to me. I picked you myself," Jongdae says. He sits up and looks at Sehun seriously, "I'm sorry I lied to you. I lied about a lot of things."

His tone is making Sehun nervous. "That's okay—you're telling me now."

Jongdae shakes his head. "There's more. I know why I've been—fading. And why I'm sleepy all the time."

This makes Sehun sit up straight, alert. "What?"

He won't meet his eyes. "Manifests are... starlight, right? And it's five years in lightspeed from me to Earth. You're seeing me as I was five years ago."

It still feels like Sehun's missing something. "So that makes you... tired?"

Jongdae doesn't respond, instead closing his eyes. "And remember how I said that it's a punishment, being a star? How we can watch everything but never intervene? You wondered why I was able to be a manifest on Earth with you, then."

Sehun still doesn't know what he's getting at. He knows all of this information already, from the bits and pieces Jongdae has told him, but it sounds bad and he wants to throw up. "And?"

"I said that me being here hit two birds with one stone. This is the stars fulfilling your wish—and my reward."

That must be positive, Sehun thinks desperately. Rewards are good things. But then why does Jongdae's expression look like he's about to cry?

"We only get rewarded when our punishment is at it's end."

His words take a while to sink in, not making sense to Sehun at first. End? What does Jongdae mean by 'end'? He can't possibly mean—he can't—

Suddenly, Sehun feels like he's suffocating as everything comes together and clicks. A supernova. Where stars go out with a bang.

This desperation tastes like copper on his tongue. He's shaking now—so hard he thinks he's going to shatter apart. "You don't—you're not—"

"I'm so sorry, Sehun." It looks like Jongdae's teeth are chattering, too. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I was just going to—help you out or something. Do one last good thing before I—before I explode. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you."

Sehun can't—he can't fucking lose Jongdae. He doesn't think he can stand to be alone anymore, not after he's had a taste of him. "Can't you do anything about it—anything?"

Jongdae just sounds hollow. "It's not just me. Baekhyun, too, and Kyungsoo because he's so close to us. I'm not the only one."

You're the only one that fucking matters to me, Sehun wants to choke out. He feels too sick to even talk, he's about ready to throw up.

"Baekhyun just—fucked around with Yixing. No strings attached. I was going to do the same thing last—last night. I thought it would be the same. But it's different and I still hurt so fucking much." Sehun pulls him close now. Maybe if he holds him tight enough, nothing can hurt them. He can feel Jongdae shivering too.

"We can stop it. I'll stop it somehow."

The smile Jongdae gives him is the most heart-breaking thing Sehun has ever seen. "Don't you get it? I already—it's already happened."

Sehun's been turned upside-down. There's a ringing in his ears and he almost can't hear Jongdae. "... five years, remember? Me, the star, exploded that day when I collapsed. But this manifest is starlight, from five years ago. I'm just—I'm just fading now."

Sehun knows the color of despair, now. It's black, a night without any stars.

✩

It fucking hurts when Jongdae's not there, when he wakes up one day. He'd been fading, until there was nothing for Sehun to hold onto anymore. It's worse when the pain is drawn-out, Sehun decides. It's like he's drowning but he just won't fucking die.

It fucking hurts when he turns on the news, sees a chipper anchor talking about 'the first supernova in centuries! The star system, Alpha Centauri, has recently burned down to it's finally, fiery end. This is the closest a star has ever exploded near Earth, and we have scientists who are researching the effects. The supernova actually occurred five years ago, but we are only seeing it now. The brightest star in the sky, it will be sorely missed among constellations. Tune in at seven o'clock for an interview with the leading researcher, Shin Sungwoo!'

It fucking hurts when Zitao asks him about his roommate. It fucking hurts when Junmyeon brings up that library position again, and Sehun has to turn away so he can't see his face.

It fucking hurts when Sehun meets a nice girl (who does not look like Jongdae), who makes him happy (even though she isn't Jongdae), and he walks down the aisle with her because Jongdae isn't fucking coming back, he never is, and he needs some kind of anchor to this world or he's going to float away. He loves her, he really does.

It fucking hurts to see their son, who likes the stars almost as much as Sehun did when he was younger, beg him for stories about the constellations. Do they matter when the most important star is gone now? Sehun almost tells him not to bother, because wishes never end up with a happily ever after and stars are fucking useless anyways.

It fucking hurts when Sehun's doctor tells them his diagnosis, but maybe it takes the edge off knowing that it's all going to end soon. Sehun hates hospitals but he still points out the stars to his little son. He tells him to make a wish on the first star he sees every night, because if Sehun didn't he would never have met Jongdae in the first place. Even though he's not sure if that was a blessing or a curse, looking back at it.

It doesn't hurt anymore when Sehun feels himself drifting off. The blackness is comforting, almost. He wants to ask, where are the stars?

✩

Sehun's so warm when he comes to. There's something looser, he feels like he's just barely holding himself together. Everything's rushing through his ears and past his eyes, like blood pounding and the world spinning around him, amplified by a hundred times.

It's dark—it's so dark he's not sure if his eyes are opened or closed. This is a rich, warm kind of darkness, Sehun thinks. Nothing cold or particularly bleak about it. He likes it, almost.

The voice he hears, ringing clear in his ears, has him doing a double-take. It's been many years since he's heard that voice, and it dredges up all the bittersweet memories. "Hi, Sehunnie."

He can't speak. Sehun is floored, he's so hot and he's glowing and there's only one thing he understands right now and he's not sure if he's supposed to be happy or sad. He's a—star. He's a star and he's just heard Jongdae's voice.

His body feels the same and there's an endless expanse of black rushing past him, but he pulls and detaches something and there's a manifest of himself. Or who he was. Sehun doesn't know, anymore.

Someone taps his shoulder, and he whirls around, suspended in space. He feels like he's getting pulled apart in all directions because—Jongdae.

Jongdae's in front of him with his smile and he looks so tangible and real, nothing like the faded appearance he'd occupied earlier, that Sehun thinks this is some cruel joke, some cruel trick of nature. He'd resigned himself to the absence of Jongdae years ago and this—this.

"Sehunnie," Jongdae breathes out, cupping his face before locking his arms around Sehun's neck and pulling him down for the most breathtaking kiss. Sehun's missed this so fucking much, Jongdae's real and he's here and there's only so much he take. He's flashing hot and there are sparks flying and good God, he's a star and Jongdae's right here.

"I thought you—I thought you exploded. I thought you were dead." Sehun tries to sound accusatory, he really does, but he's breathless and all he can feel right now is Jongdae. He wants to drown himself in Jongdae.

"I was. It wasn't pretty. I felt like I was getting scattered into tiny pieces but—no one knew this at all—stars regenerate, they're reborn from the stardust and energy of supernovas. And I did so... here I am?"

Sehun doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. He's a star now—and he has Jongdae by his side. He can hear the sound of others now, he sense Baekhyun's distinct voice mocking him in the background, and this is just so much to take in.

There's all of space around them and Jongdae tells him that he's got so much to learn and really, whatever they have between them is only just beginning. He's got galaxies between his ribs and stardust in his veins and billions of years with Jongdae.

---

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