#252: standing upon this endless melody (please tell me I’m not alone)

[lordchen]

Prompt: #252
Title: standing upon this endless melody (please tell me I’m not alone)
Pairing: BaekChen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: sex
Word count: 16,664
Summary: When Jongdae agreed to the arranged marriage, he didn’t know what to expect. It’s Byun Baekhyun, his best friend from childhood to early teenage years. What could possibly go wrong?
Author's note: I don’t know anything about how business works so please ignore any discrepancies. And to the OP, I’m sorry, I did my best.



Jongdae sits still on his chair, staring mutely at the food he has prepared for tonight. The ticking of the clock is too loud for comfort, especially in an empty house like this.

He glances at the black and grey analog clock hanging on the stark white wall. 10:57 PM, almost three hours since he set the table up, one and a half since he finished eating on his own. The remaining food has gone cold as he waits patiently for the other person who’s meant to share his meal to arrive. He swallows a sigh and tries to ignore the sleepiness as he sits for a few more minutes. But the minutes pass, the clock now reads 11:15, and still there is nothing. He sighs as he stands, taking his own plate as he goes to the kitchen to wash it with the other dishes lying around. He returns to the dining area to cover the remaining food on the table despite knowing it will remain untouched until he’ll have to throw it away the next day.

He drags himself around, doing leftover chores before getting ready for bed. It’s already past twelve when he lies down but the gate remains closed, the garage missing one car, the house quiet as a church. He falls asleep in silence, hoping he won’t wake up in silence as well.

*=*=*

When Jongdae agreed to the arranged marriage his boss and godfather proposed, he didn’t know exactly what to expect – a business deal more or less, a life with complications and a lot of adjustments. Being miserable, however, never crossed his mind. It was to Byun Baekhyun, his best friend from childhood to teenage years, what could possibly go wrong?

Jongdae’s memory of Baekhyun went back to their toddler days. Their mothers were the best of friends and friendship between them came naturally through association. He remembered their little adventures during childhood, the sleepovers in hello kitty pajamas, the pranks they pulled on their classmates (and teachers), and all the games they played together. He remembered the two of them joining the swimming team on their junior high school, studying in the library before exams, playing in arcades with others, and whatnot. They were joined at the hip from primary school to high school, until Baekhyun decided to go to another country for university and left Jongdae behind.

The following years had been difficult for Jongdae. He entered college with their family’s future on his mind, opting to take a course in business management instead of music to please his father. He joined gigs as vocalists sometimes but he knew he’d never be the composer or producer he wanted to be. He gave up his own dream for his family – something Jongdeok wasn’t able to do when halfway through Jongdae’s second year he ran away to pursue his own dreams. The burden the elder left was heavy on the younger’s shoulder but Jongdae believed he carried it well. What nearly crushed him was the car accident that killed his father during his third year. The accident that not only took his father but broke his mother down as well. It was a difficult time. Not only did he lose his father, it also left his mother struggling with a crippling depression. Kim Yejin went almost despondent to the point where she couldn’t stand showing herself to the outside world, and Jongdae, despite his own mourning, had taken it to himself to care for her while still trying his best to finish his education. And even though she did recover later, it took time, and time wasn’t something they could afford to waste. The manufacturing company that his father worked so hard to build started failing without a stable management. All those bags and shoes they produced were not delivered to their clients on schedule, it was only time before they ran out of purchasers. Business inevitably started to fail.

The Byun family became their saving grace. They gave them – his mom and him – a deal that was difficult to reject. One of the most influential businessmen who owned White World, a strings of malls scattered around the city. Money was no problem for them. They did not offer to take the Kim’s company under their wings. Instead, they loaned them money to rebuild. They gave the otherwise nameless merchandises a brand name, La Belleza, and offered to sell their products exclusively in their branches. They gave without restraint and took only one payment in return – him. And someday,

“… someday we will be able to unite our businesses formally, Yejin,” Byun Juri promised with a bright smile as she held his mother’s hand. And though he knew he shouldn’t, Jongdae couldn’t help but feel he was being bought.

But the couple was kind and generous and nobody in their proper mind would turn them down. So he accepted the help they offered and took the initiative to restore the company with the Byuns’ assistance. When his mother was stable enough to resume the control over the management and production, Jongdae also started working for the others’ company, training on managing the multi-branched mall. Under Byun Heungsoo’s guidance, he studied how their corporation worked – from the management of personnel, the function of each department within a branch, to coordinating with managers from different branches. Jongdae learned everything he felt needed to be learned. He knew gaining enough knowledge to run such a big corporation would take a lot of time but Heungsoo was nothing but encouraging and patient.

“We have a lot to of time to learn, Jongdae,” he told him. “I will be staying until I’m ready to let go. But it’s always good to start young. There are so many things to learn along the way.”

That time, he was already acting as Heungsoo’s left hand man. Still different from his secretary, Jongdae mostly acted as the person who put all the decisions in actions. He coordinated with the rest of the chief officers of the company, from COO, CIO, managers, and even other companies’ liaisons if needed be. They had just finished polishing the plan for expansion of Gangnam branch, sipping whines in the older man’s office before they leave for home, and the moment seemed comfortable enough for Jongdae to ask personal questions. He threw caution in the wind and dared ask about his sons who had been absent for more than five years, and while the elder man’s eyes sparkled as he talked about Baekbom’s advocacies as a pediatrician for WHO, volunteering in far-away countries to assist in their plight against malnutrition, his eyes darkened as he dismissed Baekhyun with a scoff.

“I don’t even know what that kid is doing with his life.”

Jongdae felt regret and embarrassment for asking, seeing how the elder seem uninterested to talk further so he shut his mouth and didn’t ask more questions. He didn’t open any topic regarding Baekhyun thereafter but it did make him wonder how his best friend was doing on his own, whether he was free and happy or alone and miserable.

It had taken Baekhyun a little more than seven years before he returned to Korea. When he did, Jongdae felt elated, excited to meet his friend once again. He thought he’d be greeted with a congenial hug or maybe a warm smile and sparkling eyes – things he remembered most about him. He was so wrong. Instead, their reunion seemed closer to a business meeting than a normal get-together. Heungsoo sat behind the oakwood table in his minimalist beige office while Baekhyun sat straight on the black leather couch across the room, refusing to even look at Jongdae who sat on the chair in the front side of the oakwood table. His excitement wavered. All the enthusiasm about their first meeting faded, especially when he finally realized what the couple really wanted from him – from Baekhyun as well – as they explained what they called was the perfect business union.

“We’re proposing a legal bonding between the two of you,” Byun Juri said with an excited smile, reaching out to grasp his prodigal son’s hand. “A marriage of some sort.”

A marriage… of some sort. Jongdae felt his world tilt so sudden, he almost jolted in his seat. He knew the corporation would be under his responsibility later on, but he had never considered owning it in any legal manner. Not this way. He was prepared to be a slave for the Byuns for as long as he needed to be, but this… this was a whole lot different. The realization of what he had gotten himself into was dizzying.

“A marriage?!” Baekhyun’s enraged voice sliced through his thoughts and Jongdae was suddenly alert and panicked. He watched as Baekhyun stood harshly, forcefully pulling his hand out of his mother’s grasp. “What the fuck do you mean?! Are you fucking serious right now?!”

“Language, young man!” Heungsoo’s booming voice reprimanded.

“Language my ass,” Baekhyun snorted in response. He sneered before turning on his heels and walking out the room without a glance back. The door loudly slammed shut and Jongdae could only stare at the closed door, frozen in his seat.

“I’m so sorry, Jongdae,” Juri said gently, standing from the couch to kneel in front of him. She reached out for his hand much like she did Baekhyun’s. “He will get over it soon, and he will understand that this needs to be done. You understand as well, don’t you?”

He wanted to shake his head, wanted to say no, he doesn’t understand, none of this made sense at all. But Jongdae felt weak, powerless. He was in no position to refuse so he nodded and forced his lips to smile in reassurance to the woman holding his hand, looking beseechingly at him.

“Thank you,” her smile brightened her whole feature, reminding him of Baekhyun in their childhood, whenever he got what he wanted. She looked so happy and relieved, and Jongdae felt like maybe he made the right decision after all.

Later that night, Jongdae cried in his mother’s arm, spilling his worries and fears as she apologized repeatedly because she knew. She knew what they wanted but she never had the courage to tell him.


Days after the confrontation found Jongdae back to his original routine, busying himself with work as he pushed all thoughts of Baekhyun behind his mind. But when the said person showed up on his office, he couldn’t really say he was surprised.

“I’ve made up my mind,” the man said as he plopped down the couch across his office desk. “I’m going to give this shit a go.”

“It’s not like you have a choice,” Jongdae murmured, pointedly ignoring Baekhyun in favor of the documents in his hand.

“I’d like to think I have,” the other retorted. “I simply chose not to be disowned.”

Jongdae internally winced at the disgust dripping from the voice but kept his features calm as he lifted his eyes to meet his gaze evenly. “I assume you didn’t just come here to tell me that.”

“I did, actually,” Baekhyun’s gaze was steely against his, eerily similar to Heungsoo’s. “I just want to remind you not to expect too much from me. I have nothing to give you, Jongdae, nothing beyond what they’re asking me to give.”

Jongdae clenched his jaw. He wanted to say he wasn’t expecting anything, wanted to tell him he didn’t want this as well, but he opted to shut his mouth because he wasn’t sure how to say the things he wanted to say. Baekhyun mistook his silence as defeat.

“That’s all,” he said with head held high, standing up to leave. “And for the record, I don’t really believe you’re capable to lead this shitty company.”

“I’m capable enough, thank you,” he said to himself once Baekhyun was gone.



Baekhyun stayed true to his word. He because a passive participant to the whole charade, neither alleviating nor aggravating their situation. Jongdae didn’t know if it was a good thing as everything seemed to pass in blur.

The marriage was hushed and quiet, no official announcements were made nor any events celebrated. There never even was an actual wedding or vows spoken. There were only papers signed and documents passed to register their legal union. Jongdae was glad when it was over, Baekhyun remained nonchalant throughout. But Juri was a different case. She wanted more, always wanting more. One to mind what others think, she insisted they live together, if that would be the only aspect in their marriage that could seem normal in front of people. Of course, it wouldn’t bode well to the higher society if the son of a powerful business tycoon lived separately from his spouse, would it? Baekhyun scoffed and Jongdae frowned but they both decided not to put up a fuss. Refusal fell to deaf ears when it came to Byun Juri.

“Think of this as an opportunity, Jongdae,” Yejin said, trying to appease him. “Maybe you can learn how to live with it and find a way to make it better along the way.”

Jongdae doubted it but his mother’s optimism and the promise to always be on reach did pacify him. So he packed his bags and moved in to the two-story house Heungsoo gave as a gift, relieved to know that there were three bedrooms available, guest rooms included. He opted to occupy one as Baekhyun took the other and managed to convince himself that this would not be too hard after all. He could just pretend they were nothing more than roommates.

Only Jongdae still felt lonely. He wanted to reconnect with his old friend. And every day for the past months they lived together, he had made it a habit to prepare breakfast before he left in the morning and dinner for two once he got back, hoping the other would join him. But Baekhyun never paid him any attention. The house always felt empty with Baekhyun always off somewhere he didn’t know. Even during the times the other was home, which was rare, he still kept himself locked up on his room. Occasionally, Jongdae would try to knock on his door but it remained close despite the tell-tale sound of air conditioner buzzing softly from within. And the very rare chance they see him outside of the room, Baekhyun never gave an indication that he even noticed him. Jongdae has never felt so miserable in his life.

Until the unexpected shift came.

*=*=*

It came during one of his occasional overtime in the office. It was past 1:00 in the morning when Jongdae received a call from Baekhyun’s number. He couldn’t help the worry that came with the curiosity as he answered the call. But the voice that greeted him was different yet familiar at the same time.

“Park Chanyeol?” he asked in surprise.

“Hello Jongdae,” the deep baritone was unmistakable despite the weariness marring the voice. “Listen, Baekhyun’s drunk out of his mind. Can you come and get him?”

Jongdae had not heard from him for a long, long time, and why he was with Baekhyun puzzled him. He looked at the documents in his hand, some of the preliminary plans for the construction of a branch in Busan and considered saying no. The bidding was starting next week and there were still so many things to be done with so little time. But curiosity won.

“I’ll be there,” he said as he neatly stashed away the documents in his bag. It was a Friday, he could have the rest of the weekend to do what needed to be done. The chance to connect with both Chanyeol and Baekhyun, on the other hand, might not happen again anytime soon.

It was a little more than 30 minutes later that he had arrived at Escapism, the bar Chanyeol owned. Although Chanyeol warned him, a passed out Baekhyun slumped on the table was still a sight. It took him a long time before he managed to dump him at the back seat of his car, the taller man assisting him along.

“Thanks,” he wheezed in exhaustion. “Never thought he’d be this heavy. Does he come here often?”

“Yeah,” the other said with a breathless laugh. “Sometimes spends the night drinking with Taemin and some other friends; other nights, hangs out alone. Sometimes he doesn’t come at all, but still pretty sure he goes to another place.”

“And you never thought of telling me,” he chuckled, leaning against his car for rest.

“He didn’t want to tell you and I’m just being a good friend,” Chanyeol muttered. “But he drank so much this time, I had no choice but to call you. How are you, by the way?”

“Three months passed and still miserable,” he smiled. Chanyeol grimaced.

“If it makes you feel better, he’s just as miserable as you are if not more.”

“It doesn’t, though… make me feel better, I mean.” He stared at his old acquaintance, a close friend with Baekhyun since high school and a bandmate in university back when he was still able to join some gigs. He saw how the lanky teenager from way before had transformed into a fine man and he couldn’t help the attack of nostalgia. “What if life wasn’t too hard on us, Chanyeol? What if we didn’t give up on our dream? What if we pursued our passion for music? Do you think we’d be standing on stages now, performing amidst thousands of people?”

“Maybe,” the other smiled. “Or we could be in a dingy studio, drowning in booze and cigarette smoke, and not selling enough to survive instead of me owning this fancy bar and you working your way on the top of the business world. But Yixing would still be back in China.”

“Touché,” Jongdae laughed before straightening from where he was slouched against the car. He opened the door and sat inside. “I guess I’ll be going for now.”

“He doesn’t hate you, you know,” Chanyeol said, leaning on his window. “He hated the whole arrangement.”

“I see,” he smiled in understanding despite his disbelief in those words. “Thanks anyway.”

He left with a promise to meet later which made Chanyeol smile happily like the old times. But the drive away from the bar felt more like another drive away from his past. He was happy to see his friend contented in life but he couldn’t help the slight envy consuming his heart. He wondered if he was really climbing a ladder to the top when it felt like slow descent to insanity.

Baekhyun remained asleep throughout, heedless of his worries. He remained asleep even until they arrived back home and Jongdae had to carry him inside by himself. It was a difficult task, more difficult with nobody to help, but he managed to bring him upstairs and finally lay the other down his own bed. As he tucked him in more properly, he couldn’t help but wonder about the name Baekhyun was repeatedly murmuring, repeatedly apologizing to. Maybe if he have the chance later, he would ask about who Taeyeon was. For now he figured this was where his duty ends. He left the room silently to get some sleep of his own.



It was almost lunchtime when he woke up the next day but Jongdae still decided on pancakes good for two. It was more of a habit now instead of a conscious effort to include Baekhyun in every meal despite throwing the leftovers one too many times. He didn’t expect the other to stride unsteadily to the kitchen and occupy a seat from the table to watch him prepare food. To say Jongdae was surprised was an understatement.

“You look like shit,” Jongdae said after a couple of minute’s silence. He poured a coffee for the other once he managed to move passed his shock.

“Feel like one, too,” Baekhyun mumbled, murmuring a thanks as he clutched the mug. “Did I do anything embarrassing last night?”

“None that I know of,” he said, setting the pancakes on the table and finding his seat. “You were knocked out cold when I picked you from the bar.”

Baekhyun nodded and another wave of awkward silence consumed them.

“Who’s Taeyeon, by the way?” he asked, deciding he’s had enough of the silence. Baekhyun started at him for a few moments more before responding.

“Ex-girlfriend,” the answer came with a shrugged. “I wasn’t all single and available before this whole stupidity began, if you must know. I had to break up with her because… well, there’s no point anymore, is there?”

“I guess not,” he replied, embarrassment from prying consuming him within. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Baekhyun snorted. “Stop apologizing, it wasn’t your fault. Besides, I had already started moving on. It’s just that yesterday was supposed to be our 2nd anniversary so I kinda missed her again and lost count of how much I drank.”

He nodded, opting not to say a word as the other talked on.

“I figured I should let go when there’s really no way I can get her back so I guess last night would be the last.”

There was a pause and Jongdae felt unsettled with the sudden intensity of the other’s gaze. But he forced himself to stay still and let him continue, watching his expression mellow down in sadness.

“I know I’ve been harsh to you these past few months, Jongdae, but do you think we can start over again? With our friendship, I mean.”

‘What?’ He blinked in surprise. He briefly wondered if this was but a dream but the subtle pinch on his thigh assured him it wasn’t. He saw the same tiredness he felt reflected on the other’s eyes, mixed with uncertainty and sincerity as well, and for the first time, Jongdae felt he wasn’t alone in this misery.

“If you want to,” he managed to say, swallowing the lump on his throat.

Baekhyun smiled in relief, a signature smile he remembered from childhood, a smile of a puppy who got his treat.

“I deserve some sort of present as compensation, though,” he added before Baekhyun could respond, “for the agony you gave these past few months.” The older’s face fell at his words and Jongdae felt laughter bubbling from his chest.

“Are you serious?” Baekhyun huffed in annoyance when Jongdae shook his head no and started giggling. “You fucktard, you’re play with me!”

Jongdae laughed louder. He let the realization that this was real crash over him. Baekhyun was offering him friendship once again, and it drowned him in relief and happiness. He tried to stop laughing but he couldn’t. He was just so, so very happy.

And though the other was scowling, the glimmer in his eyes and the slight smile tugging at his lips told otherwise. Maybe his mother was right, there was a way to make this hopeless marriage better.

*=*=*

Things started to get better from there onwards.

Baekhyun still went out to clubs lots of times but he started staying for dinner whenever he could and consumed the breakfast Jongdae prepare for him. Sometimes Jongdae would go out with him to Escapism if he wasn’t too busy. Chanyeol would greet them obnoxiously whenever he did. He met Taemin, Minho, and some other friends he didn’t know Baekhyun had. And though one certain Key unnerved him with his seemingly snotty attitude, one certain Jonghyun was always there to tone the other down.

There would be times they’d simply stay inside, though, with a bucket of popcorn and soda and a stack of DVDs to watch (especially during the times Jongdae didn’t lock himself up in his room with a stack of documents to be dealt with). These activities, Jongdae enjoyed better. He had always been fonder of staying at home than going out and Baekhyun sometimes indulged this side of him.

They relearned each other’s quirks and behaviors, talked about what they felt had changed within them and what they think remained the same. It wasn’t easy, sometimes they would get on each other’s nerves without meaning to, other times they fall victim into awkwardness when they become unsure of how to act around the other anymore. But they worked in out until they were able to reacquaint themselves and regain each other’s trusts.

It took a while until Baekhyun was able to open up about Taeyeon and his decision to break up with her, knowing it would be unfair to keep her when he couldn’t commit anymore. It was a difficult break-up done through skype and phone calls but it had to be done. He briefly mentioned other people he was involved with in US, Cara and Adam, and how none of them felt as right as Taeyeon did.

Jongdae, on his part, shared about Yi Fan whom he lost his virginity to, and Liyin who brightened his first year of university, and Yixing who stood by him through thick and thin until he had to go back to Beijing in the end – people who couldn’t stay with him just as he couldn’t go with them. Baekhyun called it ‘some sort of fetish for Chinese,’ Jongdae insisted it was all coincidences and that it was better to blame his emotional masochism tendencies.

One thing that remained difficult to smoothen out was Baekhyun’s relationship with his parents. Despite being closer to each other, Jongdae still couldn’t mention Heungsoo or Juri without seeing Baekhyun’s eyes darken with displeasure. Likewise, Heungsoo never asked much about Baekhyun and the only time they talked about him was when Juri came by to ask how they’ve been doing (which Jongdae would now answer shortly but positively) and to remind him to “please take care of my baby” before she went off and on with her own busy life.

Even Yejin, whom Jongdae would visit at times or would sometimes come over to visit, had more chance to talk with Baekhyun cordially. And Jongdae had never felt so happy seeing his mom and his best friend talk about things that was trivial for him but somehow seemed important for the two of them. It’s fashion, Jongdae, it’s an important part of life!



“Do you know why I hate my parents so much?” Baekhyun asked almost half a year into their renewed friendship. Jongdae hummed to assure he was listening. “Because they hate what I have become.”

It was a Saturday night and though Jongdae still has those damned lists of brands and companies to consider for the new branch in Busan, hanging out with Baekhyun was a more appealing way to spend time. Especially with a horror movie in show.

“I was a designer,” Baekhyun said, glazed eyes focused on the television screen despite not paying attention. “I used to be part of the modeling industry, a lowly intern for a mid-tier brand but I do get a chance to join fashion shows and such. And I loved my job. But my father didn’t want to do anything about it.”

“Did they neglect you?” he asked.

“Not exactly. They did support me until I can support myself, mostly mom. But dad made it clear he did not like the direction I took. He stopped talking to me years ago after I refused to shift out of my designer course. He only talked to me again when he told me to come back here in Korea. Didn’t even tell me what for, just… he just practically pulled me out of the world I had started to build for myself,” he heaved a defeated sigh. “Is it really bad to be a designer? Is it bad to want to see your creations worn and presented by beautiful people?”

“No,” Jongdae said, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. He didn’t exactly know the right thing to say but he tried. “It’s not so bad. It was pretty cool, actually. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you always sorry?” Baekhyun interrupted.

“I don’t know,” he laughed guiltily. “I guess. But it’s wrong to let yourself feel defeated like this. You could start anew, show your father you won’t easily bend on his wills.”

“Says the man who just went along with the marriage without any qualms.”

“I had no choice, you should know that by now. Your family helped us when times were hard and I owe them a lot,” he sighed, faking disappointment. “I was actually hoping you’d say no for the both of us. Turns out you’d also give in in the end. Weak.”

Baekhyun slapped him with a throw pillow in response. “Shut up. I was trying to open up to you and you’re treating me this way?!”

“I was trying to be a good friend but you started insulting me as well,” he retorted, hitting him back with a pillow of his own, fully expecting Baekhyun to retaliate again.

He wasn’t wrong. Soon the movie was forgotten in lieu of a pillow fight which later turned into a tickle battle. Popcorn sometimes joined in, sodas almost tumbling over if not for their quick reflexes, other couches and seats were kicked out of proper position but they were too focused on beating the hell out of each other to care about that. Once they tire, they ended up cuddled closer as the credits for the movie they ignored rolled by.

“I’m serious, Baek,” Jongdae said lying down the sofa as Baekhyun lied on top of him. “You cannot just continue like this. You’ve got to show your parents you can stand on your own if you want them to take you seriously.”

“I know,” Baekhyun murmured, burying his face on Jongdae’s neck. “I’m just figuring out how.”
Jongdae nodded, hoping he felt it. He couldn’t find his voice to give a vocal answer, blaming it on Baekhyun and their close proximity. Each breath the other take tickled him. If Baekhyun knew how intimate their position was, he didn’t give any indication.

Jongdae just let him cuddle against him, even patting his hair down for a while. They remained in that position until Baekhyun fell asleep on his arms, and he, too, followed suit. He was convinced he’d wake up with aching bones and muscles tomorrow, but for now, he figured Baekhyun and him should relax for a while and let the worries come again next time.



“Why don’t you try talking to Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol suggested when Jongdae shared what Baekhyun and he talked about the other night. They were on one of their drinking sessions in the bar when they decided to open the topic up. Chanyeol was more than happy to know Baekhyun’s ready to make progress and immediately started suggesting their next moves. “I heard he was looking for new people.”

Jongdae wondered why he didn’t think of Kyungsoo immediately. It has been quite a while since he last saw the intimidating fiend but he was quite sure it wasn’t that long to forget. Baekhyun nudged him.

“Who?”

“Kyungsoo, Chanyeol’s boyfriend,” he explained. “He’s one of the head designers for Due Sorelle, a brand owned by the Jung sisters. Their clothes aren’t very expensive, just on commercial range. But they are famous, mostly for causal and chic style.”

“Pretty popular, yeah,” Chanyeol chirped, pride evident in his voice. “Young people love it.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about them,” Baekhyun nodded in recognition. “Is this Kyungsoo the infamous Do Kyungsoo with cute features but terrible temper?"

“Exactly! But he's a good guy,” Jongdae grinned. “I think we can talk to him if you want.”

“Nah. I don’t want them to say I got in because of connections,” Baekhyun answered. “Besides, I’m pretty confident with my skills. Chic streetwear is not in my alley but I can try. And if they’re open for hiring, I’m pretty sure I can snag a spot.”

“Oooh, confident, aren’t we?” Chanyeol cooed, making Jongdae giggle. “Kyungsoo will like you.”

“On the contrary, I think Kyungsoo will hate him,” he teased. “He’s too prim and proper to like somebody as sassy and diva-ish as Baek.” This earned him a gasp of disbelief from Baekhyun.

“I’m not diva-ish!” the elder huffed.

“You so are,” he insisted. Baekhyun puffed his cheeks in a pout before he suddenly tackled him.

“No, I’m not!” he screeched, nearly deafening Jongdae. Chanyeol’s surprised laugh rang loudly.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re happily married,” he teased.
Jongdae heard but chose to ignore him, aware of the almost nonexistent space between the two of them as Baekhyun put him on a headlock. He hid behind his own loud laughter as his arms stayed wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist for balance.



But Chanyeol’s words has made their impact and from that night onward, Jongdae started noticing how Baekhyun had slowly become more touchy and clingy as days pass by. He started sticking beside Jongdae whenever the two of them are home, sitting close beside him every chance he got.

Instead of preventing him or simply letting him do what he wanted, Jongdae started to enjoy the attention Baekhyun gave and reciprocate it from time to time. It wasn’t long before their movie nights became nights cuddled on the couch. Drinking outside would end up with the elder either having his hand on the small of Jongdae’s back, or arms wrapped around him as they leave with Chanyeol making cat calls from behind. And even Jongdae cooking dinner included Baekhyun watching him intently as he moved around the kitchen. Sometimes, he would volunteering to wash the dishes on the condition that Jongdae himself kept him company. That’s all he could do, help clean up because he had given up on cooking a long time ago. It was awfully domestic, more domestic than the usual, and Jongdae felt flustered.

Perhaps the only times Baekhyun left him alone was when he was locked up on his own room minding documents and other company-related tasks he brought home occasionally. During those times, Baekhyun would have no choice but to buy take-outs or order pizzas, and even then, Baekhyun would either call him out for dinner or leave him something whenever he didn’t respond.

When Baekhyun got the notice that Due Sorelle hired him, they opted to celebrate in their own home rather than go out. It seemed like a good idea at first, Baekhyun was animatedly telling him about how, after the HR interview, he was directly brought to Kyungsoo.

“He was so serious, I swear for a moment I thought he’d just tell me I didn’t pass and send me home,” Baekhyun gushed, face full of emotion and hands moving animatedly. “But then he did something worse and actually told me to draw something on the spot! And after telling me how bland my design was, he asked me to make three more designs out of them! How do Chanyeol live with such a terrible person?!”

“He’s not that bad,” he amended. “He hired you, didn’t he?”

“I guess,” Baekhyun agreed as he laid his head on Jongdae’s shoulders. “But we should still check if Chanyeol’s being treated just fine.”

Jongdae chuckled, ignoring the way Baekhyun’s hand started wandering higher his thighs. He let him talk about anything and everything despite the fact that he couldn’t hear what he was saying anymore and was more aware of his warm hands. When said hands found their way closer to his crotch, he hastily squirmed out of his hold.

“Baekhyun, I think we’ve drank enough,” he said, clutching the other’s wrist. He gave an apologetic smile before standing up to leave. “We should probably go to bed.”

“Ok,” Baekhyun assented easily, standing to follow him across the living room, up the stairs, into his room. Jongdae stood in awe as the other made his way to his bed before him and flopped down into it.

“This is my room,” he reminded the other.

“I know,” was the response he got. “I wanna sleep here for once.” There was a pout in the voice and Jongdae didn’t know what to do… until Baekhyun looked up and the pout became visible and real. “Can’t I?”

“Fine,” Jongdae heaved a sigh, knowing he was defeated. He shut the light and left the moon as the only other source of illumination, careful of his movements.

Baekhyun automatically scooted closer once Jongdae laid beside him. He closed his eyes and pretended to be unaffected by the elder’s arms wrapped around him. There was a few minutes of silence before the said arms loosened slightly and Jongdae had to force himself to stay still and not change his breathing pattern in hopes he could convince the other he was asleep. But when a puff of air hit his face too close, he gave up and opened his eyes, immediately being greeted by the other’s face slowly inching towards him.

“What are you doing?”

The reaction was immediate. Baekhyun’s eyes opened, widening in surprise before crinkling in a smile, eyes are too bright to be sober.

“Trying to kiss you,” he replied before diving back in. And Jongdae should have pushed him away but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He’d be lying to himself if he’d say he wasn’t anticipating this, if he’d say he wasn’t hoping for this.

‘Just this once,’ his mind supplied as he met Baekhyun’s lips halfway. The kiss tasted of the wine they consumed and Jongdae missed it immediately once it was over. But Baekhyun was cuddling closer once again and Jongdae automatically reciprocated his hug.



When Jongdae woke up, it was to a dull headache caused by the glare of the sun shining through his white curtains. The next thing he was aware of was Baekhyun spooning him from behind, snoring lightly against his neck. He carefully detangled himself from the other’s hold and sat carefully up. He looked at the still sleeping man for a while, marveling at how pretty Baekhyun looked against his white pillow and light blue blanket, before deciding he needed coffee badly and tiptoed out of the room.

Last night was a bad idea but Jongdae hoped Baekhyun was intoxicated enough not to remember anything. He was halfway done with his coffee when the said man staggered in.

“Morning,” Baekhyun greeted with a smile despite looking much like shit. He dropped a kiss on his temple before proceeding to prepare his own coffee, leaving Jongdae frozen in shock. “Are you ok?” he heard him ask when he failed to respond.

“Y-Yeah,” he mumbled, flustered from the unexpected action.

“I’m sorry about last night, must have shocked you,” Baekhyun said, cups clacking.

“No, it’s alright,” he responded far too quickly. “I understand, it was just the alcohol. Let’s just… let’s just forget it happened.”

Baekhyun went suddenly silent and Jongdae felt he said the wrong thing. He watched the other sit across the table to look intently at him, expression somber as he placed a cup of coffee on the table. “You want to forget it happened? You think I was drunk, didn’t you?”

“Weren’t you?” he asked, puzzled.

“God, Jongdae, no,” Baekhyun laughed humorlessly. “I was sober last night, although the alcohol made me bolder I guess. But I was aware of my action and I know you were sober, too. You kissed me back, don’t you remember?”

“I remember,” he answered, unable to look away from Baekhyun’s gaze.

“Good. That means you like me, too, right?”

“Yeah, I do. I like you,” he admitted, “but I don’t know what you want from me.”

Baekhyun’s face painted confusion. “I want you. Just you, Jongdae. Is it difficult to comprehend? I like you. I’ve been trying to get closer to you these past few months but I just can’t seem to be able to. It’s like you like me back but at the same time you don’t want me enough.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, the thoughts he tried to ignore the whole time surfacing, the fears that made him uncertain of how to respond to Baekhyun’s affections making itself known. “I guess I was just scared. I’m not sure if you genuinely like me or you just feel compelled by this marriage.”

“Where did you even get that idea?” Baekhyun’s voice slightly raised, expression darkening.

Jongdae wanted to draw back but he held himself stiff and rigid until Baekhyun’s face soften and he started reaching for his hand.

“I hated this marriage. I hated that my parents practically forced us into it, but I have learned to accept it because you made it easier for me to accept. But more than that, you also made it wasy for me to love you, Jongdae. This is not because we are married. This is because I love you.”

“Are you sure?” he bit the inside of his cheeks, knowing he was being annoying in his uncertainty. He felt warmth spread on his chest but he has been too skeptical all his life to easily believe. He let the other play with his hand as he tried to contain the battling emotions that he felt, thinking of a way to make the situation lighter. “You’re not just developing Stockholm syndrome.”

“Jongdae…”

“Ok, ok,” he lightened his voice into a teasing tone, smiling despite his doubts. “If you’re so sure, then I guess I couldn’t say no, right?”

“You mean you’re giving this a chance?” Baekhyun asked. “You’re giving us a chance?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. He pressed down all the doubts within him, hoping they would lock themselves up in the darkest part of his mind or just dissolve in time. He focused on how Baekhyun looked genuinely happy at his answer and how it made him happy as well.

“Does that mean I can kiss you again?”

“Sure,” he breathed before Baekhyun leaned across the table. Just like the last night, Jongdae met him halfway, but this time, the kiss tasted like coffee on his side and stale breath from Baekhyun’s. He pulled back and wrinkled his nose. “You haven’t even brush your teeth yet, have you?”

“Oh hush,” Baekhyun tsked before holding his nape and pulling him back in. He let the other kiss him again and decided that stale breath or not, Baekhyun’s lips felt right against his own.



When they told Chanyeol later, the other simply congratulated them and teased Baekhyun on how long it took him to confess.

“You were aware and you didn’t tell me?” Jongdae asked, surprised that his friend knew.

“Hey, he told me not to tell and I was just being a good friend,” the other grinned.

He huffed in annoyance.

*=*=*

Despite his initial skepticism, Jongdae quickly found that being romantically involved with Baekhyun could easily be considered the happiest aspect of his current life. It was like having a best friend, a housemate, and a boyfriend all at the same time and he had never felt more content. Baekhyun as a friend was sweet enough, but Baekhyun as a lover was amazingly thoughtful and affectionate.

“You ok?” the man occupying his mind whispered beside him as they find their way amidst the people.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Good,” the other smiled brightly back before turning the attention to the party at hand.

They had just finished Due Sorelle’s biannual fashion showcase and the after party was in full swing. It was the first showcase Baekhyun participated in for the company after working with them for three months and Jongdae felt all the pride and delight the other man radiated as they both watched his designs carried so gracefully by models down the catwalk. Jongdae himself felt happy for him.

“Enjoying yourselves, boys?" Chanyeol greeted them with a grin as they found each other in the huge ballroom hall.

“Nice suit,” Baekhyun commented.

“Thanks. Kyungsoo had them custom made for me,” he said in perfect timing just as the man came striding in with two glasses of champagne, automatically handing one to the taller.

“Only because you couldn't be bothered to buy one for yourself,” the shorter man grumbled before smiling at the sight of Jongdae. “Long time no see. Have you finally found time to escape your busy schedules?”

“I actually hang out in Escapism quite a lot,” he chuckled, “but it's nice to see you again, too.”

“You look good together,” Baekhyun said, seeing his friend and boss together for the first time. “Why don't you hang around the bar often?”

“I hate crowded places and I hate staying up late,” Kyungsoo shrugged, slapping Chanyeol’s wandering hands on his stomach as the taller wrapped one arm around him, plastering the shorter closely by his side. Chanyeol merely laughed, hands remaining where they are.

“You hate a lot of things in life,” he pointed out. “Except me, maybe.”

“I can’t deny,” Kyungsoo acquiesced easily, cheeks reddening despite his deadpan expression. Both Jongdae and Baekhyun laughed.

“Well then, I guess this is the part where we leave you guys alone,” the elder said, checking his watch. Jongdae’s eyebrows shot up as Baekhyun’s hands landed at the small of his back, starting to maneuver him away. “We have somewhere else we want to be.”

“We do?” he asked once they were out of earshot from the two.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun affirmed as he picked another glass of champagne from a passing waiter. He raised it on a toast to his mother from across the room, Juri subtly returning the gesture, before downing it in one go. “C’mon.”

Jongdae threw his own smile at Juri before letting the other him lead him out the door and into their own car. He still felt slightly awed whenever he watched mother and son interact more amicably in each other’s presence. It had taken some time but Jongdae’s patience and persistence to make Baekhyun agree to invite Juri for dinner paid off. That night would have been a disaster if Yejin wasn’t there, what with Juri’s careless words and strong sense of accomplishment in getting the two together.

“I knew it,” she gushed. “I knew you’d fall for each other. It was part of my plan after all. And, my, this steak is absolutely delightful.”

“It wasn’t under our control, Juri. They decided this on their own,” Yejin amended gently, seeing Baekhyun purse his lips. “But I agree this steak really is delicious. Although marinating it longer would have made it better, Jongdae.”

“Jongdae cooked this? Oh, darling, you’ve gotten yourself a perfect catch. Or should I say I’ve gotten the perfect catch for you?”

“Mom!” Baekhyun whined in despair. Jongdae didn’t know if it was because of the undeliberate goading or the nickname (Baekhyun admitted it was both later that night) but he did place a comforting hand on the other’s thigh before looking at his mom for assistance.

It was by Yejin’s initiative that they were able to divert the topic to the latest fashion trend and, much to Jongdae’s surprise, it lightened the atmosphere vastly. Baekhyun opened up about the job he got in Due Sorelle, something that made Juri’s eyes brighten in interest and pride mostly over the fact that her son was putting his name in something as prominent as fashion but also due to the idea that Baekhyun finally found something he loved doing for himself. She threw her own thoughts and observations about what people want these days and what she believed Baekhyun could give as opposed to the typical just as Baekhyun shared what he wanted to show and give both the industry and the general populace in terms of fashion. By the end of the night, Juri was in the most relaxed state Jongdae has seen her and Baekhyun’s cheeks were red both from happiness and from smiling too much. Their interaction only got better through time.

“We’re here,” Baekhyun’s voice sliced through his thoughts.

“Home?” he asked, getting out of the car on autopilot to open the gate. “So you left the party to bring me home?” he teased again once Baekhyun was done parking and the two of them were stepping inside the house.

“The party’s getting boring and you’re looking delectable as the night progress,” Baekhyun said, pressing him immediately against the door, closing it in the process.

“Delectable,” he chuckled against the elder’s lips, hands finding Baekhyun’s hips as the other had his around his waist. “Fancy words you got there.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he whispered before meeting the other’s kiss.

Jongdae always loved how soft and warm Baekhyun’s lips felt against his. He parted his lips almost automatically at the first prod of tongue, tilting his head to further deepen the kiss. Baekhyun’s lips left his and started trailing kisses to his cheeks, down his jaw. Jongdae’s breath hitched when Baekhyun’s hand found his hair and tugged it, tilting his head to the side and giving the elder better access to his neck.

“Let’s take this upstairs,” Baekhyun whispered, pulling slightly back. Jongdae’s mind was hazy at this point, he could only nod and let himself be dragged by the other.

They were already shrugging off of their suit as soon as the door to Jongdae’s room opened. Getting rid of the clothes was quick when both of them were excited. Soon, Baekhyun had Jongdae on his bed, hovering over the younger one. He reached for the lube just under the pillow and popped the bottle open. He made a quick preparation of Jongdae, putting too much lube on his fingers to easily slip in two fingers.

Jongdae groaned at the intrusion but he couldn’t say he minded. It was just nice. Jongdae was just as impatient as Baekhyun was. Baekhyun wasn’t even finished inserting a third finger when Jongdae decided it was enough. He pushed Baekhyun away, telling him to lay on his back instead.

“Let me ride you,” he whispered against his ears.

It was Jongdae himself who lathered the other’s cock with lube before he straddled him. He guided Baekhyun’s length on his opening before slowly pushing down. And “oh, oh fuck!” he gasped. He really wasn’t prepared enough. But he liked it this way. The stretch was delicious, the pain bordered to pleasure. He could feel Baekhyun’s length intrude him inch and by inch, so warm inside. Baekhyun’s hands were on his hips, assisting him, guiding him down.

When Jongdae was fully seated, he laid his hand on Baekhyun’s chest for leverage before slowly pushing himself upwards. Slowly, shallowly, he created his own rhythm as Baekhyun laid back and let him do as he pleased.

“Gorgeous,” Baekhyun whispered. “You are really lovely like this, Dae, all flushed and aroused because of me. You love it, don’t you? Riding me? Having me deep inside you?”

“Yes,” he groaned back as he continued moving. “Yes, I do. Love it so much. Please, Baek, fuck me. I need more!”

At those words, Baekhyun flipped Jongdae on his back. The sudden movement and the change of angle had Baekhyun’s dick hitting his prostate and Jongdae shamelessly keened at the pleasure.

“Like this?” Baekhyun teased as the rhythm he set was fast and deep.

“Yes,” Jongdae whined, wrapping his legs around the other’s waist. “There, Baekhyun, just like that. Faster, please.”

When Baekhyun complied, moving his hips faster, grip on Jongdae’s thigh tighter, Jongdae was more than pleased.

“Thank you,” he moaned appreciatively, hands holding on to the headboard tighter as he was fucked harder into the mattress. He met Baekhyun’s smoldering gaze with his own. His eyes are searching, pleading, clouded with lust. But there was playfulness when he begged. “Touch me. Baek, I need to come.”

The groan Baekhyun gave was both a boost to his confidence and an addition to his arousal. Baekhyun gave in, stroking him in time with each thrust and Jongdae reach his orgasm with a broken moan of Baekhyun’s name. Baekhyun continued thrusting within him, and in Jongdae’s oversensitive body and tired mind, he was still able to ask for more.

“Baek, won’t you please come inside me? I need to feel you,” he whispered, arms now circling Baekhyun’s shoulders to pull him close. He smirked against the other’s shoulder when he felt Baekhyun coming inside him. But he didn’t protest when Baekhyun found his lips for a searing kiss.



Jongdae remained awake for a few more minutes, laying silently spooned against Baekhyun’s. Thoughts swirled in his mind on how lucky he currently felt in life. Their relationship wasn’t entirely perfect but it was as precious. They had their own fights once in a while and their busy schedule sometimes contributed to their lacking communication but they tried to keep things in going, tried to always be there for each other.

He remembered their initial solution when work started eating most of their time, especially when Baekhyun started his job. They convert the one room they don’t use into an office. It was a good idea at first until Baekhyun proved to have very low self-control when it came to sex added to the fact that he turned horny when stressed. They ended up fucking most of the time instead of getting actual work done and in the end decided to finish in their respective workplaces what ought to be done if it’s important.

One thing that ate Jongdae, though, was the ongoing planning for the Busan branch. Heungsoo wanted him there but it would take a long time for the project to finish and he surely couldn’t bring Baekhyun with him. He didn’t tell Baekhyun about it, he felt there was no point as he already rejected the offer as politely as he could. But Heungsoo was persistent, and though the elder did give the responsibility to Kim Joonmyun, one of the top officers in business development department that heads plans for expansions, he still wanted Jongdae to represent him all throughout the project’s development.

“Think about it,” Heungsoo told him. “I’d allow you to stay here in Seoul if you could just find time to check the site constantly. Every other day is ok.”

“But, sir, Joonmyun doesn’t need monitoring,” he responded. “It wasn’t his first time handling these kinds of projects, I’m sure he will do well on this one. You can trust him.”

“I trust him enough. But this is a learning experience I wouldn’t want you to miss if you were to lead my company. It’s good opportunity to see a branch established from the very beginning and watch its development both in physical as well as business aspect.”

Jongdae frowned at the answer but he understood the reasoning behind it. Knowing Heungsoo had already made up his mind also made winning the argument almost impossible for him.

“I’ll think about it,” he said in the end and Heungsoo nodded, pleased with his response.

Jongdae felt another wave of frustration from the memory. He carefully turned to face Baekhyun, marveling on how peaceful the other looked asleep while he was having his own turmoil within. He lifted his hand to brush some hair away from his face before he caught himself. Baekhyun should not wake up. He was even more tired from the event, being an active participant rather than part of the audience that Jongdae had been. He withdrew his hand back and decided to rest it on the other’s hips as carefully as he could.

As a response, the other shuffled closer. It made Jongdae smile. It made him feel a lot better knowing Baekhyun sought him out even in sleep. He took some calming breaths before closing his eyes and forcing himself to relax and wait patiently until sleep consume him. It took a while but it did without Jongdae even noticing when he fell asleep. His last thoughts hoping that this happiness would last.

*=*=*

But eventually, good things come to an end.

After almost a year more of enjoying Baekhyun’s whole attention for himself, Jongdae suddenly started to lose it. Things didn’t exactly fall apart the way other relationships would be described. They had always had their misunderstanding and fights but knowing each other almost all their lives made it easier for them to fix their troubles. The worst fight they had was when Jongdae missed a dinner date Baekhyun prepared for their wedding anniversary because of an unexpected problem in Busan. It was during one of Jongdae’s occasional visits to the branch when Joonmyun notified him that the construction company they contracted couldn’t meet the date set for the construction of the building. He opted to stay at the office then to reorganize the timetable until he realized he had stayed too late. Baekhyun did not bode well with being stood up and ignored him for almost two weeks, sleeping in his own room, until he got clemency by taking him on a vacation in Jeju for a weekend. And really, that was the worst and nothing else came close.

So it was a surprise to Jongdae when Baekhyun started sleeping in his own room again when he joined Fashion Week, a week-long event where multiple fashion brands showcased their latest and upcoming products. Jongdae knew preparing for such kind of occasions was stressful and tiring so he didn’t question Baekhyun coming home late at night. But when he still crawled into Jongdae’s bed before, now he didn’t even bother seeing Jongdae before he slept and Jongdae was left wondering.

“Hey,” he greeted Baekhyun one time he decided to wait for him. It was already dark, the only light left was the glare from the muted television. He knew Baekhyun saw him because the other immediately approached him on the sofa he was sitting into.

“Hello,” Baekhyun greeted with tired voice. He dropped a kiss on Jongdae’s temple much like he always did before stepping back to leave. But Jongdae was quick and he grabbed the other’s wrist before he could walk away. He just wanted to talk.

“Have you eaten?” he asked, Baekhyun nodded. “Do you want to stay and rest for a while?” he tried again. Baekhyun paused to look at him, really look at him, and gave a small smiled.
“You miss me, don’t you?” he teased, sitting down the armrest of the chair. He held Jongdae’s chin and tilted his head to capture his lips. Jongdae immediately responded, moaning an agreement as they kissed. He wanted more than this but Baekhyun pulled back and heaved a regretful sigh. “I wish I could stay up longer and do things with you, but I’m tired and I still have to leave early tomorrow for last minute fitting.”

Jongdae blinked in disbelief, the feeling of disappointment heavy on his stomach.

“Preparation time’s almost over for the show, and it will start next week. Just one more week, Jongdae, I promise. I’ll make it up to you after this.” Baekhyun promised. Jongdae heaved a heavy sigh but smiled and squeezed Baekhyun’s hand that he held on his own.

“Ok,” he nodded, letting the other go. They exchanged awkward good nights before Baekhyun left him, Jongdae returning his attention to some crappy drama reruns. He knew the other was sleeping again in his own room. He also knew the taste of booze on Baekhyun’s mouth wasn’t his imagination but he hoped the unfamiliar feminine cologne he smelled under the heavy scent of alcohol was.

But Baekhyun asked for one week and Jongdae was willing to give in if it meant alleviating the situation.



It was the longest week Jongdae had suffered and he would have been happier the night Due Sorelle finally finished their showcase if he remained blissfully ignorant of what was really happening with Baekhyun. Or maybe he wouldn’t, but he won’t know that now.

Jongdae came late for the show, tired and breathless from rushing. He spent another day in Busan supervising the ongoing building construction of the mall and he was starting to feel the toll of going back and forth between two places. But when his obligations told him to be in Busan, his heart refused to leave Seoul. He arrived just in time for La Belleza turn in the walkway, models showing his family’s products of elegant lady bags and quirky set of boots and shoes.

Two more brands passed before models started to come out donning Due Sorelle clothes. By then, Jongdae has already settled in one far corner of the room, trying to find Baekhyun. He was easy to spot, sitting in the first row on the other side of the walkway, wearing sleek grey suit and talking to a beautiful lady in dark blue strapless gown. Their eyes sparkled in mirth and Jongdae couldn’t help the jealousy that spiked within. But he suppressed it down because… well, why should he be jealous if Baekhyun has found friends among people who work closely with him?

But Jongdae’s instincts were on point, and when the after party rolled about, he found Baekhyun still talking with the lady by his side. And damn do they look good together.

“Hey,” he greeted, noticing Baekhyun’s sudden stiffness.

“Hi,” the lady in blue said, extending her hand in greeting with a bright and lovely smile bright. Jongdae couldn’t help but adore her. “I don’t believe we have met?”

“Yeah,” he answered easily, turning his charm a notch, taking her hand to render a kiss behind it. “Kim Jongdae.”

“Oh. I’m Taeyeon Kim. Or should I say Kim Taeyeon? I’m still confused, I haven’t been in Korea for so long,” she lightly laughed.

Kim Taeyeon. Taeyeon. Jongdae’s mind struggled to remember the name. By the time everything clicked in his tired mind, Taeyeon was ready to leave, still smiling brightly.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Jongdae, but some of my friends are calling for me now. I have to go.” She paused beside Baekhyun and leaned in to kiss his cheeks, unaware of the other man’s awkward stance. “I’ll see you around, right?” She asked.

Baekhyun forced a smile on his thin lips. “Yeah,” he whispered back, watching Taeyeon go.

He was unable to meet Jongdae’s eyes as Jongdae himself refused to look at the other. His gaze opted to wander around the vast hall, watching people walk around with drinks in hand. He could see his mother talking with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo on the other side of the room, perhaps the first time in a long time they met again. He wished he could be there with them.

“So she’s Taeyeon,” he said, breaking the silence between them. “I see what you liked in her. She’s very pretty. Sweet, too. She seemed like a nice person.”

“Jongdae…” Baekhyun’s voice sounded wary and uncertain and unable to finish.

“Were you with her when you come home later than usual?”

“Yes, but we’re always with other people. It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“What am I thinking?” he asked finally looking at Baekhyun. He tilted his head in mock innocence. To be fair, he didn’t even know what he himself was thinking or feeling.

“There’s nothing between us. I swear.” He stared at the other long and hard, seeing emotions pass Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Can I trust you?”

“Are you doubting me?”

“No. I’m asking for an assurance. Can I trust you?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun reached for his hand, looking beseechingly at him. “You can trust me.”

Jongdae smiled and squeezed the hand holding his. “Ok,” he said softly, “I trust you.”



But he shouldn’t have.

Despite that night ending in relative bliss, their situations didn’t improve at all. Jongdae started coming home in an empty house. He started getting used to sleeping along again, or having Baekhyun stagger home smelling of booze or beer. The only good thing Jongdae could think of was that Baekhyun still came home every night. He could be contented with that.

That’s what he told Chanyeol when the taller one called him about Baekhyun.

“He’s here at the bar,” Chanyeol’s baritone voice gave a low growl. “Jongdae, who is this girl he’s with and why are they this close? Do you know about this?”

“Yes, Chanyeol, I do,” he answered, sorting out the documents on his table. “She’s Taeyeon, a friend.”

“A friend?!” Chanyeol hissed. “No friend dances in such close proximity. Jongdae please tell me you’re not ok with this!”

“Why are you throwing a fit?” he sighed, it sounded defeated even in his own ears. “It’s ok, Chanyeol. It really is. He has told me about her, made it clear there’s nothing more than friendship between them. Besides, he still comes home to me.”

“But…”

“Please, Yeol, I know you’re concerned but just this once, let us be,” he pleaded. “Tell me something nicer instead, please.”

“Jongdae,” Chanyeol’s tone changed from adamant to soft. “I don’t know anything nicer to say but you know I’ll always be here for you.”

“I know,” Jongdae answered in hushed whisper. “Thank you.”

He ended the call when the first drop of tears came. He let his emotions free in the safety of his solitude, never more glad to be alone in his office.

“I still trust you.”



But he really shouldn’t have.

He disregarded Chanyeol’s worries. He chose not to dwell on Kyungsoo’s warnings. He brushed off Joonmyun’s concerned questions. He assured his mother, and Baekhyun’s mother, that everything was just fine. He ignored everybody’s concern but this… this he could not ignore. Not Baekhyun making out in the sofa, their sofa, with Taeyeon, her shirt lifted halfway her torso as she straddled his hips. The only time he was able to go home earlier than usual and wanted nothing but to rest only to come home to this.

“Baekhyun,” his voice was low and quivering with suppressed emotion, but it was loud enough for Baekhyun to hear and push Taeyeon away.

“J-Jongdae,” he gulped, standing in unsteady legs as he attempted to approach him. He took a step back, glancing at Taeyeon who stood as well. Jongdae wanted to snarl at her if only he knew how but the confusion on her face was genuine and Jongdae wondered if she even knew who he was to Baekhyun. He felt sad for both her and himself.

“Please leave,” he addressed her instead with soft, pleading voice. “Please.”

Understanding flooded Taeyeon’s eyes and, throwing Baekhyun one last gaze, she grabbed her handbag on the table and left. It was La Belleza and Jongdae would have scoffed at the irony if his mind wasn’t clouded.

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun’s terrified voice caught his attention once again and the anger towards the man spiked within him.

“Stay back,” he gritted his teeth, trying to step away once again as Baekhyun came closer. He was losing the battle to remain calm by the second as Baekhyun came nearer. “I SAID STAY BACK!”

Jongdae gasped, slapped a hand on his mouth. He wasn’t used to losing control over himself this way, wasn’t used to the amount of anger flowing in his system. He had never yelled to anybody before. Baekhyun himself froze in shock and Jongdae took the opportunity to regain his composure, taking deep breaths before he spoke again, calmer this time.

“You said there was nothing, right? You said I could trust you. And I did, Baek. I did!”

“I’m sorry. Jongdae, I’m so sorry,” Baekhyun’s voice sounded so small, so pitiful, and Jongdae wanted to hug him if he wasn’t angry.

He shook his head at the other instead, feeling his energy drain out. He couldn’t stay, not right now, so he took a step back to get out.

“Where are you going?!” Baekhyun’s urgent voice followed him. “Dae, please come back here!”

He didn’t. He pretended not to hear the sob at the end of Baekhyun’s plea.



Jongdae didn’t really know where he was going. He couldn’t go to Chanyeol and tell him he had been right all along. He also couldn’t go back to his original home because he didn’t want Yejin to worry. He continued to drive around the city only to find himself back in his office at the end.

He slumped against his seat and let the exhaustion and defeat seep into his bones. Plans he had been studying for the Busan branch scattered in front of him. He wondered if he left them lying around this way in his hurry to go home. Home. Baekhyun. Betrayal. A dull ache in his chest was all he could feel and he wondered if he should expect more pain or be thankful for the numbness.

He did revel in the solitude, though, expecting everybody else to be home this late. But then he heard short, sharp knocks on his door before it opened to reveal Heungsoo. Jongdae scrambled to sit straighter.

“Sir,” he greeted, suddenly ashamed of the coarseness of his voice.

“Call me Heungsoo when the office hours is over,” Heungsoo responded as the man let himself in. “I thought you already went home earlier.”

“I did,” he answered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as the older man’s gaze stayed trained at him.

“Is it about my son?” Heungsoo asked, sitting on the chair right in front of his table instead of the couch farther across the room.

“Son,” Jongdae echoed. “You still call him your son when you’ve stopped caring for him a long time ago?”

“So it is about him,” the man nodded in understanding. “I do not hate him, Jongdae. I care about him, although I admit I failed to show it.”

“Why?”

“If I tell you why, would you tell me what’s wrong?”

“No.”

Jongdae knew it wasn’t the best answer to give but for once, he was too exhausted to think of a better response except for the truth. Still, Heungsoo smiled a bit before wistfulness conquered his feature.

“He reminded me too much of my sister, that’s why,” he said.

“The one that took him in when he studied in US?” the sad smile the elder gave tugged at Jongdae’s heart.

“No,” the elder clarified. “I had another sister, younger than me but not the youngest. She was as bright and cheerful as Baekhyun is, and just as expressive and emotionally volatile. She loved beautiful things and wanted to be a designer. She became one, but the fashion industry was a different world and it ate her alive. We lost contact and the next thing I knew, she was dead. Drowned in her own bathtub with tons of drugs within her system. So you see, I didn’t want him ending that way so I tried to steer him away. But I guess temptation is stronger when the resistance was tougher.”

Jongdae thought of Baekhyun at the beginning of their marriage, lost and defeated. He considered telling the older man he nearly succeeded keeping Baekhyun away from his dream but he chose not to. “He is resilient,” he said instead. “He didn’t give up. He is still thriving. Maybe he is stronger.”

“Yes, he is. I know that now,” Heungsoo’s smile returned. “I see him happy and well and I know you have a huge part in that. But it’s too late to approach him so I watch from afar.”

Jongdae didn’t answer and Heungsoo didn’t say anything further as well. The two men sat in silence until the elder stood up to leave. Jongdae spoke then.

“Sir,” he called, keeping his eyes trained on the table. “Can I… the suit you offered me in Busan… can I still take it?”

The man did not respond for a while and Jongdae was so sure he would refuse but Heungsoo shuffle and a keycard was passed towards Jongdae.

“It’s Heungsoo,” the elder said. “This room is yours. I reserved it just for you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered in gratitude, taking the card in both hand.

“But Jongdae,” the elder added in a gentler tone, “if my son asks I won’t hesitate to tell him where to find you.”

“I doubt he will,” he answered automatically.

“I’m sure he will,” the elder responded and left with a last comforting squeeze on his shoulder.

Jongdae looked at the card on his hand, grateful for the elder’s vast understanding despite not knowing exactly what happened.

He was more than thankful when he went home and found Baekhyun fast asleep on the couch. He knew the other dozed off while waiting for his arrival but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He immediately went to his room and packed a few of his clothes, only the once he would need, as quietly as possibly. He came and went without much noise and didn’t spare a backward glance when he left.

*=*=*

It took Baekyun only three days to follow him to Busan.

He was at the site, the building sturdily made by now but still unoccupied inside, when Joonmyun called for him in their office, a separate location from the mall itself. Joonmyun met him at the lounge area of the complex and Jongdae would have followed him out if there wasn’t another voice that called his name. When he turned, it was a solemn Baekhyun who was waiting for him at the door of his office.

He heaved a sigh before beckoning Baekhyun inside. Only when the door was safely closed did he face him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, letting the hostility seep in his voice.

“When are you coming home?” the elder asked, reaching out to grasp his arm. He took a step backward that had Baekhyun flinching. “Jongdae, please. I miss you. I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Please come home.”

Jongdae never thought he would see Baekhyun beg. He never imagined he would beg him when he didn’t even lower his pride towards his own father. But here Baekhyun was, thin lips trembling as he tried to maintain a smile, eyes shining with tears that couldn’t fall.

But among Jongdae’s long list of positive traits, forgiveness was one of his biggest flaw. He was never good at forgiving easily. The bigger the pain, the more difficult it was for him to let go.

“It’s still early. If you start driving back to Seoul, I’m pretty sure you won’t reach home late,” he told him instead before turning his back on him.

He was sure Baekhyun called after him at least three more times, but he stepped out of the office just the same, out of the building, and into his car to drive off somewhere else. He wasn’t escaping, he told himself again and again. He just didn’t want to deal with the other. Not now, not ever.



But Baekhyun was persistent and it was something Jongdae forgot. Just when he thought he had successfully driven him away, he came home to the smell of burnt food in the kitchen a week later. He found Baekhyun there, standing defeated over what seemed like a bunch of fried meat.

“You’re here,” he scoffed. “Are you trying to burn this place down?”

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun gasped in surprise, apparently not expecting him there. “Uhm, welcome home? I made some dinner but I guess I ruined it.”

“Like you ruin a lot of things,” he mumbled under his breath, too low for Baekhyun to hear. He took a good look at the other, and though he knew he himself looked tired from sleepless nights and all day’s work, Baekhyun looked a lot worse with dark circles under his eyes and what seemed like a permanent grimace on his features. The weight of the plastic bag suddenly became heavier on his hand. “I have some takeout. If you can tolerant Chinese food, you can eat it.”

“I like Chinese food,” Baekhyun’s voice was hopeful. “Can we share?”

“I already ate dinner so you can eat it instead,” Jongdae lied easily. He had not eaten yet but he didn’t want to dine with the other and the food was only good for one person anyway. He placed the package on the table. “Just clean up after you’re done. I’m going to bed.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest but Jongdae left before he could say anything.

The unit Heungsoo gave was extravagant and big. It wasn’t a penthouse but it was one of the top suits, with spacious living room, furnished kitchen and dining area, and even a small library that could be used as an office. The only downside was the bedroom in itself. Although it was huge with a king-size bed and a luxurious bathroom where the bathtub could well fit three people, it was the only room in the place. And with Baekhyun here, presumably with Heungsoo’s approval, he knew it he’d have to share.

When the bed dipped with Baekhyun’s extra weight after an hour or so, Jongdae expected him to immediately draw close. But although he could sense a heavy stare on his back, he felt nothing, and the urge to turn and face the other was a difficult fight.

“Good night,” Bakehyun’s whispered after a long while, surprising Jongdae. He felt a shift and assumed Baekhyun changed his position to face away from him as well. He wasn’t wrong. When he lost the fight with curiosity and took a quick peek, Baekhyun’s hunched back greeted his sight.

He turned away once again.



Jongdae woke up from loud clattering. He groaned, puzzled over what Baekhyun could be doing too early in the morning. He wanted to sleep some more but a crash of something, thankfully not glass, hitting the floor prompted him to leave the comfort of his bed. He stumble towards the kitchen just in time to see the other dumping what seemed like a third pan in the sink.

Jongdae didn’t move from his position on the kitchen door. He simple eyed the food Baekhyun had laid on the table – plates of bacon, fried eggs, hotdogs, even buttered toast. Baekhyun was staring quietly at the sink where all the dirty dishes were and Jongdae was pretty sure the other haven’t noticed him yet. He stepped back and left as quietly as he could, making sure not to catch the other’s attention. He closed the bedroom door he left open when he went out before he caught himself and thought of what he had done. He shook his head. He wasn’t escaping the other, he simply didn’t want to deal with him. Not yet. The alarm rang, telling Jongdae he still had a day ahead of him. He opted to stick to the routine he had built for himself and pretended nobody was waiting for him in the kitchen.

He was already in the shower when Baekhyun knocked on the bathroom door, calling for him.

“Please eat something before you leave,” the other’s muffled voice called out. “I made some breakfast.”

Jongdae didn’t respond. Baekhyun’s shadow remained close at the tainted glass door, as if waiting for his answer. He was pretending not to hear anything and he was pretty sure Baekhyun knew this. It took a long while but Baekhyun finally stepped away when the water started running again.

When Jongdae came out, he was surprised to find a pair of suits prepared for him no doubt by Baekhyun. On his bedside table, a tumbler of coffee sat. Jongdae lifted the tumbler, pleased by the strong aroma of coffee that greeted him when he opened the lid. He was even more pleased to know that Baekhyun put the right amount of cream and sugar when he took a sip. “At least have some coffee ^^” a noted attached to the tumbler read. Jongdae couldn’t say he wasn’t touched.

When he passed by the kitchen door on his way out, he caught a sight of Baekhyun staring forlornly at the meal he prepared. Jongdae continued his way out but the tug in his heart was something he failed to ignore as he drove all the way to work.



“So how are you and Baekhyun?” Joonmyun asked one night as they were preparing to leave the office.

“Just fine” he lied, keeping his head down as he heard Joonmyun sigh. Jongdae continued stacking his documents neatly.

“Are you sure?” the older of the two asked again.

“I don’t think it’s your business, hyung,” he frowned. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about Baekhyun. Almost a month and he was still touchy on the topic. He hoped Joonmyun would understand and leave him alone.

But Joonmyun was persistent if the situation needed him to be. He sat on the chair in front of Jongdae’s table, insisting to have this conversation. “Baekhyun quit his job from Due Sorelle to follow you here. He seemed really desperate to have you back.”

Jongdae stopped his task. This he didn’t know. He put down the papers on his hand and looked at the other man, assessing if the other was lying or not but Joonmyun was serious.

“Minseok just told me,” the other continued. Kim Minseok of the brand’s PR department, in charge of selecting locations for the company’s branches. “He didn’t even know Byun Baekhyun was working for them until he passed his resignation. You don’t know about this, do you? Have you even talked to him?”

Jongdae shook his head. Since Baekhyun came over to Busan, he did his best to ignore him. He did not talk to him in the morning even when the other diligently prepared breakfast for him. The only interaction they had is through the coffee Baekhyun always left for Jongdae which he would sometimes indulge at and drink or sometimes ignore. He did not talk to him at night when he was so tired from work. Mostly he chose to eat outside and return home later than he’s used to, just so Baekhyun would already be asleep when he arrived.

He opted to avoid Baekhyun instead of directly refusing the invitations for meals and dinner. Sometimes, he’d feel guilty about it, but most of the time, he felt justified. He had been hurt, he was entitled to hold resentment – a voice in his mind told him.

“It’s ok not to forgive easily,” Joonmyun’s gentle voice caught his attention. “It’s ok to take your time to accept him once again. But at least talk to Baekhyun and clear things up a little. It’s unfair to lead him on, Jongdae, when he doesn’t even know if you will be able to forgive him or not. And if you cannot, then let him know as well so he can move on. So the two of you can move on.”

“I don’t want that, hyung,” Jongdae admitted, tears starting to sting behind his eyes. “I don’t want him to leave me but at the same time, I can’t seem to let go of this anger. Hyung, he did not just cheat on me. He made me trust him. And then he hurt me in the end. And I know I’m being petty but…”

“Hush, Jongdae,” Joonmyun said, standing up to be able to give him a comforting hug. “You’re not being petty. But you have to start easing off your anger, for the sake of both of you. Take a tiny step and talk to him, ok?”

Jongdae nodded, wiping the tears that haven’t fall. “Arg, this is so embarrassing! I know I have a personal rule about not crying in front of colleagues!”

Joonmyun chuckled, ruffling the younger’s hair. “Alright, then. You can keep that rule and we’ll pretend this did not happen.”



Jongdae found Baekhyun at the dining table when he arrived. The man was staring gloomily at the meal he had prepared, both plates clean and the food untouched. Jongdae halted in his steps. He considered backing away and having the conversation with Baekhyun for another time but Joonmyun’s voice reprimanded him. A memory of him being in that position years ago played in his mind, and guilt started to eat on Jongdae’s guts.

“Hey,” Jongdae greeted as he slowly walked towards the table. Baekhyun looked at him, pleasant surprise in his eyes.

“You’re early today,” Baekhyun said before suddenly standing up, a big smile etching on his face. “Have you eaten dinner? The food’s a bit cold now, maybe I should reheat it first.”

“No, it’s ok,” Jongdae said, taking his own seat in front of Baekhyun. “It will be fine. It’s chicken so it doesn’t matter.”

Baekhyun nodded enthusiastically but Jongdae could tell the uncertainty on the edge of his movements and the wariness in his eyes. He gave a small smile of his own to pacify Baekhyun before digging into the meal. Baekhyun watched him in fascination for a few moments before he was reminded that the dinner was for the two of them. They ate in relative silence but Baekhyun seemed contented and Jongdae was at ease.

It was when Baekhyun was finally finished washing the dishes and Jongdae was done placing the last of the plates in the kitchen cabinet that Jongdae decided to lead the other on the living room, occupying one couch as Baekhyun sat on the longer sofa.

“Joonmyun-hyung told me you resigned from Due Sorelle,” Jongdae said, not bothering to turn on the television before he opened the topic. “Why? Why did you even follow me here? Why are you still here when I keep ignoring you for so long?”

Silence met his question as the other seemed not to know what to say. Jongdae felt like taking his words back. Maybe they weren’t ready for this conversation. Maybe it would be better to do it next time. But something made him stay put. Something made him wait until Baekhyun found his voice once again.

“I want you back,” the answer was so silent, he almost didn’t catch it. “I’m sorry for being stupid. I’m sorry, I hurt you. But Jongdae, I want you back. I’ll do anything, just take me back.”

“Why would I?” he asked, memories of Taeyeon on Baekhyun’s lap playing on his mind; memories of Baekhyun asking for his trust. Pain came resurfacing again but Jongdae managed to maintain his calm. “Don’t you think this is a chance for you as well? You had her back, you can have her back again. You can leave me alone and go back to the life you want and we will both be happy.”

“But the life I want is with you,” the older insisted. “And we both know we won’t be happy otherwise.”

“Then why did you do it in the first place?”

“I don’t know!” Baekhyun’s voice rose even as Jongdae’s remained almost monotonous. The elder took a deep breath and tried to control his emotion as he spoke. “I don’t exactly know. Maybe I was too at ease with our relationship. Maybe I was too happy and comfortable and assured that I’d have you for the rest of my life, I took you for granted. I didn’t mean to, but somehow I did. And when you walked out on me, when I woke up with half your clothes gone and you didn’t return for days, I panicked. I realized I could not afford to lose you. I won’t be able to take it if I lose you. So please, I’ll do anything, Jongdae, just take me back.”

Baekhyun looked at him. He looked so tired and miserable but the glint in his eyes showed a sort of determination that impressed Jongdae. It made him want to give in, want to believe and take Baekhyun in his arms again.

“If I say no, would you leave?”

“Please don’t,” Baekhyun’s voice trembled but he shook his head adamantly. “You’ve been rejecting me for quite some time already but as long as you can give me a chance, I’ll stay here beside you until you forgive me.”

And really, how could Jongdae refuse further. Baekhyun was only persistent when he wanted something and if Baekhyun was willing not to give up on him, then maybe he’d also be willing to give the other another chance.

“Stay then,” he said with a smile.

The smile that Baekhyun gave back was one of his favorites.



Baekhyun made the best out of the opportunity given to him, that much Jongdae was sure of. The beginning of their marriage showed how much Baekhyun failed at cooking. But this time, Baekhyun learned to follow simple recipes and Jongdae found himself coming home to meals prepared by the other. He also started joining him for breakfast, finding it mildly disorienting that this time, he leaves the house alone when they used to leave together before, different cars tailing each other until they had to go separate roads. He wondered if Baekhyun missed his work but Jongdae felt reluctant to ask.

There would be times that Jongdae would come home to a despondent house, though, where Baekhyun would be watching shitty shows in the darkness instead of prancing around the kitchen for whatever meal he was preparing. These times, Jongdae would approach him first. He’d sit beside the other until Baekhyun leaned his head on his shoulder. He’d wrap his arms around the elder and watch the show with him even if the two of them weren’t really watching. Those nights, they’d just sit side by side and later sleep wrapped around each other.

Jongdae took time to forgive but Baekhyun proved himself to be patient towards him. He didn’t pressure Jongdae but he made sure to make his presence known. He gravitated around without pressing too close and Jongdae was contented with what he had. Jongdae knew it wasn’t easy for the other so he was more than thankful for Baekhyun’s determination to win him back. Although when time passed and Baekhyun still remained reluctant to come closer, Jongdae started seeking for more.

The night Jongdae came home with the news that, finally, the project in Busan was over was the night he let Baekhyun know he has forgiven him. By then, the mall was already on the early stages of functionality, with a lot of spaces already occupied and only a few remained empty. Joonmyun had the whole reign now and Jongdae could finally return to Seoul.

“Jongdae, what are you doing?” Baekhyun asked him as he had him trapped him on the kitchen counter.

“I’m going to go back to Seoul. We’re going to be living there again,” he grinned, drawing closer. Baekhyun gasped as Jongdae deliberately pressed his crotch against the other.

“I know. You told me over dinner,” Baekhyun struggled to speak. “Shouldn’t make you feel horny, though.”

“Little things like this used to make you horny,” he reminded him. “Remember when every little thing called for sex? Even stress?”

“But you’re not me and…” Jongdae’s lips against his stopped whatever he was about to say and Baekhyun immediately wrapping his arms around him to press them closer made Jongdae beam inside.

When he let go, Baekhyun’s gaze suddenly turned uncertain again.

“Is this ok, Dae?” he asked, eyes hopeful but scared of rejection.

Jongdae nuzzled his nose against the elder’s jaw, licking at the smooth skin, and whispered, “Yes. Yes, this is. Let’s take it to the bedroom, shall we?”

Baekhyun didn’t need to be told twice. They scampered and stumbled all the way to their bedroom, letting each other go only to get rid of their clothes. When they had each other naked on bed, Jongdae immediately had Baekhyun above him, gripping his biceps as Jongdae pulled him down for a kiss.

“We need lube,” Baekhyun sighed, breaking the kiss. Jongdae groaned but pointed at the bottom-most shelf of the bedside table. Baekhyun reached out for it.

Once back in bed, Jongdae was reaching for him again, opening his legs willingly as Baekhyun settled between them.

“I missed you,” Jongdae whispered against his lips, nipping at it. He whined in the kiss at the first intrusion of Baekhyun’s finger. It had been a while. Baekhyun added a second finger as he trailed kisses down Jongdae’s neck to his chest, downwards, and Jongdae found it more and more difficult to breathe.

Jongdae’s mind was already blank when Baekhyun reached his navel and hooked both his thighs on his shoulder. He tangled his fingers on Baekhyun’s hair when the elder gave a testing lick on the tip of his manhood, moaning shamefully as he was swallowed whole. He almost didn’t notice a third finger making its way into his opening but he did feel the slight sting of the stretch. Baekhyun bobbed his head slowly, shallowly, and for Jongdae, it was not enough.

“Baek,” he gasped when searching fingers brushed against his prostate. “Please, fuck me. Please, please, don’t be a tease!”

Baekhyun hummed against his dick and Jongdae’s finger’s tightened on the other’s hair, pulling painfully. Baekhyun chuckled despite the pain but he did let go of Jongdae’s dick and licked his lips lewdly before straightening up.

He hooked one of Jongdae’s legs on his elbow and let the other leg wrapped around his waist as he leaned forward, almost bending Jongdae in half. It was in this position that he entered him, and my god, Jongdae could feel Baekhyun’s entire length and the stretch it caused and it feels delicious, filling him up.

Baekhyun moved slowly, as if making sure Jongdae feels every drag of his dick within him. Slowly, rhythmically, and Jongdae needs more.

“Baekhyun, more,” he begged shamelessly. “Please, more… oh gods, move faster!” Jongdae tried to squirm, tried to meet Baekhyun’s thrust but the other’s hand on his hip kept him from moving too much, even as the other hand remained hooked on his leg. It felt impossible to gain the leverage he needed. “Baek,” he sobbed when the other brushed against his prostate.

When Baekhyun let go of the leg hooked on his elbow, Jongdae automatically wrapped it on his waist. With both his legs around Baekhyun, he encircled his arms around the other’s shoulders as well, bringing their bodies impossibly closer. He buried his face on the crook of Baekhyun’s neck, nosing his jaw in the process. He forced himself to relax and accept Baekhyun’s leisured thrusts, finding enjoyment in the intimacy instead.

Baekhyun himself wrapped his own arms around Jongdae, keeping him close as he continued to rut inside him. “I missed you,” he whispered against the other. “I love you. Please have me back. I love you so, so much, Jongdae. So much, it hurts.”

Jongdae shuddered, the words giving him pleasure more than the act. The warmth he felt spreading through his body came more from his chest instead of his dick and oh, gosh, is this what they call making love? He gasped as he let the dizzying pleasure spread through his body, reveling in the way Baekhyun’s arms felt right against him, how it felt right to be within his hold. Jongdae let the unexpected orgasm take over him.

Baekhyun held him as he shuddered through his high, and it wasn’t long before he felt the other come, filling him from inside. Only when they regained their normal breathing did Baekhyun let go. But Jongdae only let his hold relax a bit. He did not let Baekhyun go immediately. He ran his fingers against the other’s hair, ruffling it, before he pulled slightly back to take a look at the other.

Baekhyun’s eyes were slightly red, but the watery smile he gave still made the dark room a little bit brighter. Jongdae pulled him in for another gentle kiss.

“I love you, too, you stupid jerk,” he whispered. “I’ve already forgiven you, but thank you for waiting for me.”

That night, they slept sticky with come between them. But they were tangled in each other’s embrace and it felt just right.

*=*=*

Jongdae does not know how long he has been sleeping, but he wakes up when the bed dips heavily with another person’s weight.

“Baekhyun, when did you get this heavy?” he groans half asleep. The other simply snorted in response, snuggling closer to him.

“I’m tired as hell and this is how you greet me?” he heaves a sigh. “How come Jongin is stubborn when Sehun seems to be fine most of the time? It took us a long time before he finally agreed to stay behind.”

“Because Jongin totally takes after you while Sehun…”

“…don’t say he takes after you.”

“No,” Jongdae laughs, still refusing to open his eyes but indulging Baekhyun in conversation anyway. “I was about to say he’s taking after your dad.”

“We are lucky to find them, aren’t we?” Baekhyun says and Jongdae can only murmur in agreement.

It has been nearly eight years into marriage when they adopted a child. Eight years of happiness with only each other before they decided to share it with another person (or two). Within those eight years, many things has changed. Jongdae became more involved in the company, being able to make decisions of his own instead of just doing what Heungsoo has bid him to do. He has bigger voice and bigger influence now, albeit bigger responsibilities, too. Baekhyun, on the other hand, did not return to Due Sorelle. Instead, he found a way to convince Yejin to let him partake in La Belleza’s management and production. Now, the brand includes clothes in their product line-up and Juri couldn’t be prouder.

“See, Yejin! This is what I mean when I said perfect union of our businesses!”

“You never said that,” Yejin corrected, smiling indulgently.

And although this kinds of goading used to get irk from Baekhyun, he has learned to be more patient and composed around his mother who has been supportive of him in all throughout.

They found Sehun first in an orphanage just outside Seoul when he was two years old and took immediate liking to the quiet kid. Jongin followed a year later when a homeless woman gave it to Joonmyun in Busan. The child was only three years old then, and Jongdae was more than willing to take him in. Now, five years later, the two have formed a strange sort of brotherhood despite being as different night and day. Sehun insists on acting as the elder brother despite Jongin being a few months older. Jongin doesn’t care, though. He loves being the spoiled one.

“I hope Jongin doesn’t drive my mom crazy again,” Baekhyun sighs against Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae laughs at the thought.

“Don’t worry, your dad and Sehun will control him. And if they can’t, my mom is only a phone call away. She can lend a hand. I’m pretty sure she is Jongin’s favorite.”

“I have to agree with that,” Baekhyun mumbles. Jongdae can tell was already dozing off and he should be, too. They only have the weekend without the two kids and they are planning to make the best out of them. They love their sons with all their heart but sometimes, he misses having Baekhyun all to himself as well. Quickies in the shower and random dinner dates out is just not enough so he’s making the best out of these occasions.

But all in all, life is happy and he is more than contented. He wonders if he will experience any of these if he hadn’t forgiven Baekhyun years ago. Or if Baekhyun gave up on him instead.

“You know, I can practically hear you think,” Baekhyun says again. “Stop squirming and let me sleep, Dae.”

“Sorry,” he whispered back.

“What are you thinking about anyway?”

“About what ifs in case you didn’t ask for my forgiveness before? Or if you got tired of waiting for me to forgive you?”

At those words, Baekhyun opened his eyes once again. They’ve had this conversation a lot of times, but both of them will always treasure those months of difficulties when they realized how much they valued each other.

“Thank you for taking me back as well,” Baekhyun smiles affectionately before a scow overtakes his feature. “Now sleep, damn it!”

“Ok, ok,” Jongdae giggled, hugging Baekhyun tighter. “Love you.”

“Sleeeeep!” Baekhyun whined, but he cuddled closer as well and whispered an “I love you, too” back.

*=*=*

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